Potty Training - Virginia Beach, VA

It took longer than it should have with my step-duaghter we started around 2 because she would get a diaper and wipes and lay down when she needed a changes i took that as a sign that it was time to start training. We went straight to panties and after a few accidents got the hang of it. But when she spent time at her moms they would put her in pull ups (her mom and step-dad didn't want to clean up if she had accidents). SO coming home she go potty and I would ask her why she didn't tell me she had to go potty and she would poke her side and say look i am wearing a diaper. So with all the back and forth at her moms it took till she was about 3 1/2 to be completely trained.

You are not alone, my son turned 3 at Christmas and he refuses to go. I have tried any and all advice from co-workers and family from wall charts with stickers to having his pediatrician talk to him. Nothing fazes him. My daycare is the same but he is still in the 2 yr old class and will not move up until the school year starts so we have a few more months. I believe he is ready and knows when he needs to but he just has no interest in big boy underwear or pottying. His teacher and I discussed just putting him in underwear and seeing what happens (he doesn't like to be wet). We started today and he wet himself and still refused to use the potty. I wish I could help but I'm struggling with it myself. Wish me luck on our new endeavor.

Hi J.,
I moved here from NY years ago too. I have 4 children and about to try to stat potty training my 1 yr old. I dont expect her to get it this soon, but I am introducing the idea to her early so it will help later when she really does it. Right now I just have her go in the bathroom with me and see me sit on the toilet.
With your son maybe you can have him go in the bathroom and see his father do it so he can get comfortable with it. If he thinks its "a guy" thing maybe he will be interested. Also I have heard of people trying the cheerio method for boys, they make it a game where they have to hit the cheerios with the stream of urine. I know it sounds sick, but I hear that it works.

J. - I've recently moved here to (from AL) + I know there some pre-schools had two separate classes of 3yos...those toilet-trained + those not. My youngest will be 3 in April + has absolutely no interest in using the toilet. As I was planning the entire year's childcare budget, her current pre-school (Playtime Learning Center in Poquoson) quoted me the better price of 3 + using the toilet. Suggest you continue to contact pre-schools to see if any have openings for your son.

Sorry I have no advice to help on the toilet-training issue -- my almost 5yo was so easy. Her sister will get it...in her own time.

hi jenn. my son is 2 1/2 and he is almost completely potty trained. what we did was let him pick out his own underwear and potty. then we put them on him and we took him to the potty every hour. he finally got the hang of it. you just have to be persistant and it takes a while. we also gave him a treat every time he went inside the potty. but he dont even care about sitting on his potty. we put him on the big toilet backwards and the pee will go into the potty every time and not anywhere else. so try putting him on the big toilet backwards. i still have to take him to the bathroom every hour because if i dont he will still have his accidents. like when he is too busy playing and watching tv he will wet his pants instead of going to the potty. but dont put diapers on him. he wears underwear in the daytime and when he takes his nap he puts on a pull up and if we go somewhere he puts on a pull up also at night. but we have been at it for months and we have made progress. it would be great if he would tell me when he has to go and it would be alot easier on me. but either way he goes every hour and uses it every time. good luck and let us know what happens.

I think the trick is waiting until they are ready. I think if you're having to send the child to the bathroom every hour round the clock is pushing them into it too early and isn't teaching them much at all. I also don't like to give treats after they use the potty. Just my opinion, but if they need to go, they should go without getting a snack. Praise them, absolutely! But when do the treats stop? And will they stop going if the treats stop coming? If they go at home, I think they should be expected to go when not at home.

With my boys, I waited until they were 3, old enough to understand and capable of telling me when they needed to go and they both had it down in a weekend. My oldest seldom had accidents day or night and my second son only had a couple of night time accidents. Pull-ups at night are wonderful! I found pull-ups during the day to be too much like diapers. They don't make the connection there.

My daughter just turned 3 this month and she is showing more signs of readiness than either of the boys but she's still not getting it. I'm going to wait until next month and try again.

I feel if they are ready, they get it without a lot of pushing or reminding on the part of the parent. If they aren't ready, it's frustrating for everyone and can give the child a sence of failure or letting you down. He'll do it when he's ready. In the meantime, read books about it, I make up silly songs, watch videos, talk about it at every diaper change, let him see you and your husband use the bathroom. Go over every step of the routine with him (turn on the light, pee, put clothes back on, wash hands, etc). Try it every couple of weeks for a day or two. Something else we did with the boys was to change the diapers in the bathroom so its a familiar place to them. We disposed of any solid waste in the toilet so they could see what happens.

Good luck. I hope you find what works for him. Where are you in the area?

Hey J.

Hope this helps. with my daughter who has been tried for 8 months she is two. I didn't use training pants I went right to underpants and used diapers during the night. After a few months before she went to bed we would go potty and from that point on we stop diapers. I am 43 years old this is my second child and I have learned also patients is a virtue.

J. McGee

Hey Jenn,

I am having the same problems... she knows what it is and as a matter of fact she had BM's in the potty for 2 whole months then it all came to a screeching halt ... I don't know why but i am in the same boat you are in. My daughter turned 3 Jan 9

My daughter gave me a hard time to get potty trained as well. Whatever you do don't get frustrated they will sence your negative energy and coincide it with going on the potty. My daughter started ripping her diapers off at 21/2 cuz she didn't like the wet feeling and I explained to her as best I could that diapers were for baby's and she was getting big now and if she went on a potty she wouldn't have to wear a wet diaper. We went out shopping the next day and I let her pick out her own potty and underwear( she picked dora). I started putting underwear on her she wet her pants a few times and got upset about peeing on her new undies so she learned to go on the potty so she wouldn't pee on them. She had accidents every now and then so just bring extra clothes when you go out. Do not put diapers back on after you start with the underwear they will learn not to have accidents because they won't like soaking there clothes. It took my daughter literly two days to start using the potty after that. It also helps to say look mommy goes on the potty and show them that you use a potty. It takes lots of encouragment and don't get mad when they go in there pants just say it was an accident and then show them the potty and say that they need to go on that. Don't give up it will happen.

I think it's ridiculous that day cares/preschools demand that babies be completely potty trained by age 3. I know they all have that rule, many children simply aren't ready at that age. Even if they know what to do, they may not be emotionally ready. My boys were like that...my oldest was 3 1/2 when he was finally potty trained. I knew that he knew how to do it because he did occasionally use the potty...very occasionally. His day care teacher suggested putting newspapers on the bathroom floor, giving him wipes and cleaning himself...and only using "big boy underwear". It worked like a charm for him. It took 2 times of him crying that it was yucky and he didn't like to clean his poop. I told him that I didn't like to clean it and I wasn't going to anymore..he wasn't a baby like his brother (who was 1 at the time). After the 2nd time he never had a messy accident again. My second son, on the other hand, was much more stubborn. I tried this on him and he didn't care. I just had to wait him out...he was trained at 3 years and 11 months! For him it was about control...when he was ready he just suddenly started using the potty.
Another thing that might help is if his daddy lets him go in the bathroom with him when he does his business. My husband refused to let my boys in the bathroom with him. My daughter (now 8) was trained before she turned 2...I believe in part because she followed me everywhere...including the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the tub while I did what I had to do. One day she told me she wanted to go potty. She sat on the potty and didn't do anything, but it was a first step. She was 18 months then. Within 2 months she was completely potty trained. Not that she didn't have the occasional accident, they all do, but she was in panties from then on. I only spanked her one time for peeing on herself, and that is because I knew it was intentional. She was about 2 1/2, I told her no about something. She put her little hands on her hips, glared at me, and proceeded to pee on the living room floor. She never did that again either!

Hi, My son potty trained shortly after his 3rd birthday. I borrowed a video (potty time). HE did not like watching it. but we watched it a few times. THen I put the potty in the living room for him to watch tv while he sat. You can start him sitting on top of the potty (ours had a lid). with his pants up. Take little steps. Then eventually he started to pee in it sitting down. I would have him take his pants down while watching tv. I bought some little people and put on the mantle and told him he could earn a friend for his other little people. He would look at them and want and I asked him how he could get one. He would tell me pee-pee in the potty. THen when he peed we would get all excited, march around the potty, blow bubbles, sing the potty song from the video. Poop was much harder. I did tell him if he did he would get ice cream (somehting he does not get regularly) I took a day. I put the potty in the bathroom. Had my husband take care of the baby. Took books to read, crayons etc. Spent a good part of the day in the bathroom. Knew it was coming and told him it has to go somewhere. Sure enough that day he pooped in the potty and popped ever since in the potty and is now using the toilet. I know what you mean. Last summer I wanted him to go to Vacation bible shcool but he was not potty trained and I worried about preschool too. We are now looking into preschool. I wish you luck. Potty training can be stressful on moms. I just got so tired of the pull-ups and cleaning pop etc. I think part of it was me not putting the time into it that it requires. This is our experience. He does still wear pull-ups at night.

Hey there!When my son was potty training we tried all sorts of ideas!! From putting the little potty in front of the tv to singing the songs!!! But whatever you decide you need to be percistant!! Every 2 hours make him go sit on it!!! Also 15 minutes after he eats or drinks!!! Make it a big deal! As soon as he gets up and right b4 he lays down!! Get in a routine and he will fall into it. Good luck!!