Potty Training - 2 Yo Girl

Updated on January 28, 2009
K.W. asks from San Antonio, TX
26 answers

My daughter will be 2 in a week. The daycare that she attends has started potty training her. We have tried to continue at home but she just screams and refuses to sit on the potty and then will turn right around and go in her panties and all over the floor. We do not scold her for having an accident and continually try to reinforce the "you need to tell mommy and daddy when you need to pee pee or poo poo" theory. We even got the Elmo Potty Time movie. It seems to help. She knows the songs and tells us when she goes to the bathroom, she just won't sit on the potty long enough to get anything done. She does use the potty at daycare though. Any suggestions?

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C.B.

answers from Austin on

Leave it alone at home for several more months. She probably feels pushed, and it just doesn't help to keep it up. Often kids perform more away from home better than they do at home, because they feel safer to "be themselves" at home. Just put her in pullups or diapers at home and postpone the whole thing. She'll let you know when she's ready to move on.

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C.H.

answers from Houston on

I got a calender and stickers,lollypops to help my girl. everytime she did go, I gave her a lollypop and let her put a sticker on the calender. I also made a big fool out of myself everytime, so that she knew she did a good thing. try not to display seriousness or tenseness with her, or they feel stressed

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

Relax, she isn't even two yet. Potty training is hard for everyone. The only thing I can say is that she will potty train when SHE is ready. Not anyone else. It's easy for the kids in daycare to go potty because (usually) they all go at the same time and see each other doing it. Not the same as at home. I think it's odd that daycare would be training her on their own. Usually they wait for the parents to give them direction.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

Sounds like she is not ready to me. If she's refusing like that, I would back off. I would also talk to the daycare about it. I don't have any experience with daycare trying to potty train my child, but I do know that children need to be physically AND emotionally ready, and they don't scream and cry when they're ready. SHe sounds completely physically ready, but not so much emotionally. If she's going at daycare without any fuss, perhaps she's telling you at home that she's really not ready.

I"ve heard people talk about "working hard" to potty train their child by a certain age, and I've even seen people on Mamasource say it's "lazy" to wait - all you have to do is stick to it. I don't agree. I agree in readiness. Perhaps ask daycare what they are doing that is making her want to go there. I have a feeling they are "working hard" to potty train her, whether she is ready or not.

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M.B.

answers from San Antonio on

I don't have very much advice but I'm also trying to potty train my son who will be 2 next week. He he is my 3rd and last child. You just have to have a lot of patience because they pretty much potty train at there own pace. At least she tells you when she goes my son isn't doing that yet.It helps that the daycare is helping it will make the process go a little smoother. My older daughter learned to go to the potty faster with the help of a home daycare. When she had started a new daycare she was the only 2 year old potty trained. My 3 and half year old daughter wasn't trained until about 26 months old and it was just me and my husband working with her. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

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E.M.

answers from Austin on

My little girl is now 3.5 and she's been fully potty trained since about 3. When she was tiny, someone gave me this advice: "You can start potty training when she's 2 and fight about it for a year or you can start when she's 3 and fight about it for a week."

I didn't follow that advice. I was so sure she would "get" it early. She showed signs of interest at 18 months. I followed up. We did m&m's, we did charts, we bought cute panties. We did it all.

Then, sometime around 3, it just happened and I wished I'd followed that brilliant advice. So basically, I'm agreeing with all the people who said, "Don't push it." And don't let it make you crazy either. It'll happen if you give it some time. Try not to let using the potty become a battle of wills between you and your daughter (which I mention only because I think that's some of what happened with me and my strong willed girl.)

Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from San Antonio on

Looks like you have some great advise from these great moms. I really wish I had waited until my daughter was 3 before we potty trained, it would have saved us a lot of frustrating days, because she is so strong willed. I would wait longer and not worry too much about it. Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Find out what they do to potty train her at school so you can reinforce those tactics at home. One thing that works with my daughter is keeping her kid magazines or books by the potty. When she is reading or looking at pictures, she sits there longer. Or you could read to her of course. Good luck!

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A.H.

answers from Houston on

That sounds very frustrating...just remember, she won't be going to college in diapers so it will happen! :) The bigger issue you make out of it the less likely she will do it. Right now the daycare workers are the ones 'trained' since they are on a set schedule. The child needs to be able to recognize the signs and really understand the process or it's just hopeless. My very strong willed first child trained herself at 2 years 8 months in about a week. I would ask her if she wanted to go on the potty and let her decide--encouraging but not pressuring. My second child just turned 2 in January and we sit on the potty but I've not been able to time it right so we'll see how it goes. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Houston on

My daughter is 2 1/2 and is almost there with potty training. I would definitely agree with a lot of the ladies not to push too hard. There might be something about the potty at home that she doesn't like or is scared of. My daughter doesn't like the potties that flush loudly. If you can find something, like stickers, books, a new potty seat, etc. that makes the potty at home more fun, that might help. I think a combination of consistency (asking her regularly if she needs to go potty, reminding her that big girls go on the potty, etc) but not forcing her to actually go if she doesn't want to has worked for my daughter. We also have not been afraid to use M&Ms for bribery, either. Who knows? Some kids just decide to potty train themselves really early, and others wait awhile. God bless you!

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

I'm sure you have tried everything but here are a couple things just in case you hadn't tried this yet. You could read her favorite book to her while she is acting like a big girl on the potty. Another one is the reward trick. Maybe put a M&M jar on the counter and she gets to grab a couple after she goes. One last suggestion is telling her you and her can go shopping for her favorite character of panties once she has gone a few times in a row with no accidents. These don't always work for everyone but maybe it will be worth a try. Good Luck! M.

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J.R.

answers from San Antonio on

The best advice to potty training is to relax. When she is ready, she'll do it.

She is probably very social. At daycare, many of the girls and boys sit on the potty chairs at the same time so potty time is like another circle time. Plus, when another child does go, everyone sings and claps for them. It's the whole peer pressure in a good way happening.

At home, sitting on the potty might feel like more of a time out. Once you get to know her pee/ poop schedule, try reading books (like Once Upon A Potty) and singing songs while she sits on the potty. I kept a stack of favorite books and magazines in the next to the potty seat. If she goes, great. If not, put a diaper back on. Eventually, it will click.

Best of Luck,
J. R

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P.P.

answers from Houston on

My friend told me about How to Potty Train Your Baby in One Day. It worked! A box of graham crackers, one Betsy Wetsy and lots of water.

Good luck.

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Hi K.,
As a long time preschool teacher, and mom of a two year old (who is not completely potty trained at this point) I completely agree with not pushing the issue. It only makes it worse. Try to change your way of thinking about this situation. She is obviously getting it..because she is successful at school..(mine is doing the same exact thing)..just don't worry about it. it will come in time, she knows...at home is way different than at school, and she uses that to her advantage. Keep doing what your doing..this is so typical, and she will come around. We use stickers for praise, and we get really excited, and do a little dance when she uses the potty! Obviously do the things you can do to be prepared for accidents, and remove the stress level factor for yourself. Have fun...and don't sweat the small stuff!

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N.R.

answers from Houston on

Try having some special books or toys that she can look at or play with on the potty. Reserve these only for potty time. This might help encourage her to sit longer. Sounds like she is ready, but as others have said, don't push it. She will have to decide for herself.

Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Houston on

Hi! I think most of us have been there! My only advice is to let her take as long as she needs to before using the potty. My 3yo girl juuuuust starting using the potty for #2 (#1 was just fine) and i had to remind myself that the more i "helped" or "encouraged" her, the less effective it was. bottom line is she will most definitely learn how and when to use the potty at home... but at her own time. Hang in there!

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi K.,
Potty training can really be traumatic for both you and your little one. In my recollection at day care they all line up and sit on the potty at the same time- she has her playmates there and it is comfortable for her- so try this--- get another potty chair and put her favorite dolly or teddy bear or what ever on the potty next toher- If she is more comfortable not being alone it mite help.
good luck and Blessings

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

As a former daycare teacher, I applaud your willingness to back up the daycare and work on potty training at home. I had such a hard time with my 2 YOs that were peeing in diapers all weekend and then came in on Monday in underwear. It was an absolute nightmare and by Thursday they were doing pretty well, and of course they were out again Friday evening!

That said, I do think that she's a little young, especially if she's resisting. Make it fun, encourage or bribe her, but don't force her. You don't want to give her a complex. :)

S., mom to 5!

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

K.,

It doesn't sound like she's ready to go at home. The reason she'll do it at daycare is because "everybody's" doing it. Just let her go at school and when she's ready she'll let you know. Personally I think 2 is way too young to begin. She won't be able to really train until she can tell you she needs to go ahead of time. Keep offering, but don't make an issue out of it, which it doesn't seem like you are doing. You sound like a great mom!

Good luck,
C.

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D.M.

answers from Houston on

I would not push her. Potty training is something they have to be ready for. We can be tired of buying diapers and changing them, and totally ready for them to be potty trained. but if they are not ready, all its gonna do is make her hate the potty if you push her. my daughter who is 3 has been potty trained since she was 18 months old. she just got it. my son on the other hand who is 2, is not receptive. sometimes he goes on the potty, and we have good days with no accidents. and some days he doesn't go on the potty at all. they have to make up their minds to do it. so i would advise you not to push a 2 yr old to be fully potty trained. she'll get it in her own time:)

D. mattern-muck
moms helping moms work from home:)
http://www.formyrugrats.com

A.D.

answers from Austin on

Sing silly songs, do the abcs or count to distract her from being on the potty. Then run water and if that doesnt work you can take a handful of warm water and poor over her parts. And then when she goes lots of praise or a small candy. It will happen.

E.E.

answers from Houston on

Our daughter turns three next week and has been going to the potty 100% of the time for about a month now. It was a VERY long process. I thought she would never do it. The thing that worked for us was bribery. I went to HEB and got a bnunch of Jelly Belly jelly beans and if she went pee pee in the potty she would get a jelly bean and poo poo in the potty would get 2 jelly beans. One mistake I made at the beginning was taking her to the potty too much, like once an hour. I think she felt like she lived in the bathroom and would yell and scream when we went in. So I started asking here every now and then so she kept in in the back of her mind. I hope that helps. Good Luck!

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Well she knows what she needs to do if she is doing it at Daycare. This could be a power struggle between her and you and your husband. However, potty training is never easy. What we did with our daughter, I took her to the mall and bought her fancy panties as well as all the princess panties. I then bought training pants and told her she had to wear those until she was a big girl and could go potty in the potty and not her pants. She really wanted to wear her fancy panties and princess panties. I only went through one package of training pants. She was trained in about a week or less. Good luck!

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S.P.

answers from Houston on

I just went throught this, just give it time. They will do it when "they want to" =) My son did the same thing and a few months later he started going at home.

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T.C.

answers from Austin on

My little girl is 2 1/2 (she'll be 3 in march) She was almost
potty train when she turned 2, but I had her sister 2 months after she turned 2 and back to the beginning. She is just now wanting it again. I got two baskets to put in the bathroom, one full of big girl panties ( cute ones I let her pick out) and pull-ups in the other. I let her pick which one she wants.
I saw on "Jon and Kate plus 8" she used M&Ms as a reward for
going, so tried that and it works great.
We have days when she wets her pants all day, and then she'll go a few days without an accident. I let her know it makes me so happy when she goes in the toilette, and so sad when she doesn't. Just be patient, it will come.

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A.D.

answers from Houston on

K.-I agree with alot of advice that you have been given. I have the same issue, but my daughter is almost 3. She goes to MDO 3 days a week and they haven't changed a wet pull-up in months. She can go to my mother's for the weekend and just have a accident or 2...but at home-especially with me, it is hard to get her to go on the potty for me. She does go for my husband better than me. I have tried to back-off a bit. I encourage her to go and like this morning (she usually has a dry pull-up in the am) she went on the potty for me. She asks to go alot, especially when we are out of the house. I think you have to have alot of patience for it....and give her a little room to decide what she wants to do. I know it is frustrating. Also-she has found a favorite "potty" book....it's the K. Katz one-and she asks me to read it every night. So hopefully that helps. And we have been watching the Elmo potty video for a year! Good Luck!

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