Potty Training - Carmichael, CA

Updated on May 12, 2009
M.G. asks from Carmichael, CA
16 answers

How do I do it? My son will be 3 in July and my next one will be born in August. I desperately want my son potty trained before baby. We use the feel and learn pull ups. The very first time he went in them the feel bothered him. That was it. I have him sit on the potty every 30 minutes which used to give us a clean pull up. But now it seems as though he holds it on the potty and still goes in his pull ups. He has never once told us he had to go prior to going. He will tell me "no potty in pull ups. Only potty in toilet. Big boys go potty in toilet. Babies wear diapers. I promise I will go in the toilet and not in pull up". Yet 20 minutes later his pull up will be full. My next step is to put underwear on him and see what happens. Any other suggestions?

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B.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

I would get rid of the pull ups and buy those thick cotton training underwear. I would also go out and get Elmo's Potty Time and have him watch it, while he is sitting on his little potty. Once they are ready it really only takes a few days. I would stay home the first few days and have him sit on the potty every 30-60min. We gave my daughter a hershey's kiss every time she went potty in the toilet and 2 hershey's kisses when she went poo in the potty. She only asked for the candy for about 2 weeks. We did have to keep pullups on her for night for awhile but only a couple of months. Good luck!

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S.F.

answers from Sacramento on

The way I did it with my son, was to put the pull ups on OVER the underwear. So he still got to wear the big boy underwear, but then I had the extra protection of the pull up in case he had an accident. We gave our son fruit snacks during his first month of potty training. (I highly recommend the Scooby Doo ones ~ they are TASTY!!!) I have heard moms say that stickers work too, maybe just reward him for what he really likes...My kid adores fruit snacks, so it worked for us.
We also made a big deal whenever he said he had to go....I even had a "potty dance" that I would do once I heard that pee hit the toilet water. And we always discussed the sounds that pee pee, poo poo, and "farties" make while we were in there... Needless to say, for a while our world revolved around potty talk, but it really worked. Jeez, we could have made a broadway musical all about potty training!!

Good luck to you! And blessings on a healthy and successful delivery of baby #2!!!

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

It's not unusual for boys not to be potty trained before three. At the same time, here are two things I learned from our potty training mishaps. One: you're in a power struggle with you son, and, for the first time, he realizes he can control what you want -- completely (we made the exact same mistake. Two: Pull-ups are one of the worst things ever done to parents. On the power struggle front, we were in the same place. Our son was potty trained for 10 days and then he had an accident at preschool. The school suggested we send him in pull-ups for a bit. Disaster! He went from being so proud of using the potty to just not caring. After several weeks, I bought a book (name escapes me, but it is written by a pediatrician and was the most clinical, boring looking one at Lullaby Lane in San Bruno about three years ago) and realized that we had ended up in a power struggle. The only thing to do was take a hiatus for a month or two and start all over again. We went back to diapers. It was diapers or undies, no pull-ups from there on out. Then, a week before a four day weekend, we let our son know that starting on Friday, there would no longer be diapers in our house (we gave him nighttime ones still, even though his night diaper had been dry for months -- did things backwards!). It was a nice weekend, and we wanted him to not wear undies or pants, and we always had a potty nearby and did the every 45 minutes thing and made him sit on the potty for three minutes each time (gave him a fun timer just for that) because kids can get confused if they don't go right away and think they don't need to go. Our son did not want to be half naked, so we told him we would try it his way first. If it worked, great! If not, he tried it our way. He agreed. He had an accident, and we did not get mad. We just let him know that we were going to try the other way, like we had agreed. We then let him know that kids who pee in their pants aren't allowed at the bagel store, where he and his dad went every Saturday morning. If he had any more accidents, he would not be able to go to the bagel store w/ Dad the next day (keep in mind that he had been using the potty successfully already and was now almost 3.5). He had another accident, and we gave him a hug and told him it was okay and that we were so sorry he could not go to bagels the next day. When Sat AM came and his dad went for bagels without him (nothing we could do; store rules!), he cried and cried, and I told him that it was okay because I was sure he would stop having accidents soon. And by the way, music class has the same rule as the bagel store. If he made it through the day without any accidents (he would poop in his overnight diaper for a few extra weeks, so we're just talking pee here), he could go to music class. Otherwise we would need to skip it that weekend. And that was it. No more accidents. Once it was no longer us versus him but rather, "Wow, I places I really want to go won't let me in if I don't start using the potty," his behavior changed almost immediately. There was no reward (control) for not using the potty. Anyway, we used a few more things to transition him from our having to take him every so often to his letting us know when he had to go or just going into the bathroom himself. Please feel free to send me an email. Also, we didn't pretend that we couldn't get more diapers. We simply said that he was too old to need them anymore.

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A.K.

answers from San Francisco on

You have to get rid of the Pull-Ups. In my experience they are just a different form of diaper. I do not know anyone who successfully potty trained in Pull-Ups.

My son was very similar. He wore Pull-Ups for almost a year with no progress. He would go on the potty each night at bath time, but other than that he would only go in the Pull-Up. When he turned 3 I decided to just switch him to underwear. I knew he was capable of controlling it because he would go at night. I put him in underwear and set a timer for 15 min. Each time the timer beeped he had to go potty. This took some of the struggle out of it because it was not me telling him to go, it was the timer. I took the timer everywhere with us, so it was a pain at first. But after a couple of days I started to lengthen the time by 5 min a day. We stayed at half an hour for a while. The other thing was that if he refused to go on the potty and then had a accident we would leave wherever we were (the park, a friend's house whatever, and I made sure to have lots of fun stuff planned) After about a week he decided it would be better to use the potty than miss out on stuff.

This worked for me because with my son it was a power struggle. I wanted him to do something, and he did not have to if he did not want to. Stickers and prizes were to enough of an incentive for him, but missing out on stuff was. This tactic would not be fair if your child did not yet have the physical capability to use the potty regularly, but at 2 and a half he most likely does.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Get rid of the pullups. They never worked for me. I use them at night only, as a safeguard against wetting the bed. For my daughter I just put panties on her and after two accidents she was trained. My son was harder. He could care less if he had accidents. So with him I had him in his undies and would take him to the potty every 15 minutes. Then the next day every 20 minutes. Then the next day every 25 minutes, etc. As the time got long in between, I would constantly ask him if he had to go. They have a habbit of getting distracted with toys or games and then not going. He had a few accidents along the way, but it worked. Now he either lets me know when he has to go or will go on his own.

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J.E.

answers from San Francisco on

WAIT! Two kids in diapers is much easier than having a newborn and have to RUN to a bathroom with a newly potty trained child. They don't know how to predict when they need to go, so they always have to go right now! It's always an emergency! And if you are nursing, or changing the baby's diaper, you can't just run and help your son the second he needs it.

Let him be a baby for a little longer, and when he realizes all the cool things he gets to do, but not his baby sibling - he will want to be a big boy in all respects and potty training will be easier and quicker. Point out that he gets to run around, eat ice cream, play with trucks, play ball etc (all cool big boy things) and have him notice that baby only lies down or sits in swing... boring!
He'll let you know when he is ready.

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M.L.

answers from Redding on

Definitely put him in underwear. Hopefully the first time he pees into his sock he won't like it and he will figure out the toilet thing quickly. That technique worked for my brother. My son on the other hand didn't care if he was wet. The marble jar worked for us. Since I took a marble out for every mess and put 1 marble in for each pee in the toilet and 2 for each poop it gave him a consequence for not using the toilet. Once he had all of the marbles we took him to the train museum in Sac. as his reward. Even with all this he wasn't trained until 3 years 10 months. I would get started with your son, but don't get your expectations up too high. I know it is hard to be patient when you can't see the end of the tunnel but it is true, one day they will be messing in their pants and the next it clicks and they are using the potty.

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J.R.

answers from San Francisco on

one of the advices you've heard and/or will hear again and again is the one where you turn up the heater, roll back the rug and let him run around naked (or at least wear a shirt) and have him sit in the potty every 15-30 minutes for the whole day to whole week.

i personally did it for one day and it didn't work but helped him recognize the "pee" feeling. i had him in pull-up for a long time but i also nagged him every 15-30 minutes, "do you have to pee? do you want to try? come on, let's try. if you go in the potty, you'll get a special treat...". treat could be stickers to cheap toys to m&ms. whatever works. after awhile, i did put him in underwear and crossed my fingers. don't forget to put down a water-proof sheet on your carseat and always carry at least 2 to 3 extra pants, socks and shoes with you and leave couple of extras in the car.

after he mastered sitting down and peeing, my husband taught him how to stand up and pee. my sister had gotten us a peter potty (goto leapsandbounds.com) and i painted a bulls eye so he could learn to aim and he loved it! this made it more exciting to pee standing up! if you haven't done so, also get the travel potty (best thing i ever spent my money on). pooping is another issue but teaching him to sit and pee made it easier for him to sit and poop. just have lots of patience and not getting stressed and pissed off helps.

just a side note about boys - once he's potty trained, you'll notice he'll touch himself and kind of start doing the pee pee dance but will insist that he doesn't have to go until he starts kind of leaking...make going to the bathroom fun. when i notice my 4 yo doing the dance, we say, "hey, let's check out their bathroom and see what it looks like. do you think they have plants in there?" or whatever, just to make it more exciting for him and it works every single time. good luck to you!

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C.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Ditch the pull up! Target has really great double layered cotton underwear (3 pairs for around $6). They worked wonders for my daughter and changed her mindset to understanding no more diapers meant using the potty when she had to go. It seems your son understands the concepts but may be confused since he is still wearing pull ups, in essence another form of diaper, in truly feeling the necessity to use the potty. With the thicker undies, even if they start to go, it gives them that quick second chance to stop it and then get to the potty without having their entire outfit soaked. Best of luck to you!

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

Definitely ditch the pull-ups. In fact, ditch ALL the clothes at home for a few weeks. Unless he's a very unusual little boy, running around naked will be fine with him--and then he HAS to use the potty.

My little girl turned 2 yesterday, and is just trained, primarily because we took advantage of her learning to take all her clothes off in 20 seconds or less about a month ago, and let her run around naked--but that meant she had to use the potty. I still put her in a pull-up for night, but only because she sleeps with us--she actually wets at night only once in a great while, anyway. And I'm starting to encourage her to wear clothes at home again.

Also, sometimes it helps with boys for someone to teach them to go standing up.

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L.N.

answers from San Francisco on

I hate to say it, but I think you might be pushing this too much. Kids really know when we're tense about an issue. I don't exactly understand why you're so focused on having him potty trained before the baby comes. Obviously it would be easier, but is it worth the stress? I read that three is the average age for potty training, which means that half of kids potty train later, roughly speaking. He clearly wants to please you, which is why he talks about going in the potty, but perhaps isn't ready yet to take it at this speed. It also seems like every 30 minutes is a lot. But this is all just my personal bias. Best of luck.

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J.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with the below responses. Get rid of the pull ups and start putting him in regular underwear. My daughter is fully potty trained and will be two and half next week. Also one thing that really worked and its going to sound strange is i put the potty chair in the living room. That way there is not excuse. Its right there. Where everyone is. Our bathroom is at the end of the hall and in the beginning she couldnt make it all the way down the hall. We have put the chair back in the bathroom however she would sit there watch cartoons and do her business.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear M.,
Both of my children were so easy to potty train. I had a girl and a boy. 10 years apart.
My daughter developed a severe allergy to disposable diapers and because of my fear of her getting such a terrible rash, even in cloth diapers, for the most part, she had a naked little tooshy.
Same thing with my son.
Fortunately, my son HATED having a wet or dirty diaper. He wanted it off of him immediately. He cried if I put a diaper ON him. He was either naked from the waist down or in cotton training pants and that's what worked for him.
Not to sound crass, but try a little nudity in conjunction with putting him on the potty.
Congratulations and good luck!

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J.M.

answers from Sacramento on

It is soo common for kids to revert a little when a new sib comes... you might well have to start all over when the baby comes if you try to train him now. My son was the willful one, my daughter trained in a few days and has been daytime dry and then a year after, she was nighttime dry... my son, on the other hand, took about two months to be consistently daytime dry. We wound up having to back off and let him decide he was ready to use the potty. I know having two kids' worth of diapers is kind of a pain, but I might just let him change his own pullup at least. At three, he's perfectly capable of doing that. If you do decide to train him, do it now and make it all about him-- no more swim diapers in the pool during swim lessons... and maybe make that his reward? But he has to be ready to do it or he will rebel! Good luck!

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I haven't read through all the responses, but it doesn't sound like he's ready. It is irrelevant that you want him potty trained before the baby is born- he'll do it in his own time.

Take the pressure off both of you. Get ready for the baby, spend the special time with just the two of you while you can. Forcing this will only create stress for both of you. Even if you get him trained now, he may regress when the baby is born. Don't make this a priority before having the baby- other things are so much more important. :)

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H.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I can completely understand why you'd want him potty trained before the baby comes but it sounds like it's not going to happen and even if it did he would probably regress and start having accidents after his sibling was born. On an emotional level having a younger sibling means you don't get to be the baby after all and an older sibling is likely to feel very conflicted about that. It's natural for a child to want to both grow up and still be your baby. I think it would be good for you to be aware of how that's happening in the background and, if you can, let go of the anxiety to have it happen before August. If he's 3 he understands some about how a baby is coming out of your tummy and I"m sure he's nervous about it and senses your tension. Try to focus on these last precious months where he gets to have you to himself and try to talk with him about he'll always be your baby even as he also is a big boy. He'll do the potty training thing when he's ready but I don't think he'll do it in your timeframe. Good luck with everything, it sounds hectic but it's wonderful to be expanding your family!

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