Potty Trained Son with Accidents

I would actually reverse your method and simply praise him beyond belief when he DOES go potty on his own. He may be trying to get any attention at all, even if it's negative, by having these "accidents". Try not punishing and just praising, and see if it gets you anywhere, since the punishing alone doesn't seem to be working. Good luck--he will also get better as he gets older. My four year-old still has accidents now and then, even though he tries not to. They just don't quite have the muscle memory yet to do it right every time.

If the accidents are random, he may have a bladder infection.

Otherwise, is there anything that has changed in his life? You mentioned his sister coming to the family. But since then, has anything else changed? Notice the times that he is having an accident. Is it only when certain people are around, certain time of day, etc?

Praise the good and when he does have an accident, just let it slide, don't give positive or negative attention. When my own 4 year old has accidents I just say something like, "Oops, let's clean it up" or "wow are you ok...that was kind of silly to have an accident" Just keep it light, he may not even realize he is having an accident until he is wet. But notice the "in the potty" times and give him big hugs and "way to go's" my kids favorite word is awesome. "That's awesome" "your awesome" etc.

A very similar thing happened to me - my 5 year old daughter started having accidents after being accident free for two and a half years. The accidents would be very sudden and unexpected - I would rarely even see her holding it and putting off going potty - they would just happen out of the blue. Anyway, I took her to the dr. and she didnt' have a UTI, but the dr. did say that she is having bladder spasms. She has been on a medication to relax her bladder for about two weeks. It has been helping a lot. I would check this out.

I also want to say that her pediatrician was very adamant that VERY seldomly does a child willingly choose to have these accidents. You don't want this to effect his self-esteem. This is not an issue where you need to discipline your son. He needs love and he needs to know that he is still a good boy.

I really don't think he is doing it on purpose. Therefore I think grounding him is not the right approach. I would definately get him into the doctors. There might be some kind of infection or something like that. After my daughter had been potty trained for over a year she also started having accidents. Come to find out her body was full of poop. The poop was pushing on her bladder which was causing the accidents. She was having regular bowel mvts., but for some reason not all of it was getting out. So they put her on a laxative to clean out her body. She is now 8 and I feel that we are still dealing with this issue, so good luck! But definately find out if there is something medically wrong.

Hi M.,

My son did the same thing off and on until he was 9. His pediatrician said kids are growing and the nerve growth does not always keep up with the muscle. There are actually a couple of muscles that control when they go and they truly can't help it when the nerves and muscles aren't working together during growth spurts. Please do not punish him for this and talk to your doctor, make sure it isn't a bladder or kidney infection but also know this can come and go for several more years. My son was very embarrassed and humiliated when this would happen. We talked about it when it happened and I assured him over and over again that he would grow out of it and it was completely normal. He wore night pull ups when it was a problem, especially if he spent the night at a friends so he wouldn't be embarrassed there. They make pull ups that fit kids up to 9 or 10 years old because this is a normal. Be supportive and know that he will grow out of this.
SarahMM

My daughter did the exact same thing when I brought home her baby sister. My 4 year old was 80
5 potty trained, only a few accidents a week at night, then when her sister came home, she had accidents 2-3x/day and every night. It has been a long road, but I know that punishing and lots of negative attention doesn't work. She only tried to hide it more. But she loved the special Lexi time. I have just tried not to give ANY attention to it, let her know that she needs to clean it up and we are done. Just recently (after a year and a half of fighting and punishing, and 4-5 months of ignoring) she as started to be dry at night and no accidents in the day because she feels more secure that I won't fly off the handle and punish her. I think that going to the doc's is a good idea to rule out any medical issues. Maybe he is just feeling really insecure and doesn't know how to deal with the new situation. It never makes sense why they express themselves with bodily functions, but I know that the more secure and happy my kids are the better their behavior and bodily functions are. Good luck! Stay the course of giving attention for all the great things he does and ignore the bad, it's really hard but you can do it.