2 things.
My daughter is just 2. She potty trained herself. She just decided and watched her older sibling and did it all on her own. She's even dry through her naps and through the night. All of a sudden she doesn't want to use the potty when she wakes up... waits 3 hrs says she has to go but then refuses... then wets herself, in her pants, floor, underwear, diaper... whatever it may be. I tell her she's a big girl (we call pull ups big girl diapers) and today we put her in a regular diaper. suggestions?
also, she just started to bite herself when she's angry. Completely freaks me out, never dealt w/biting. She bit her brother once. We tell her biting is for food.... i say LOVE YOURSELF, we don't bite, biting hurts etc etc. She started to bit the table... and today it was biting a giant piece of chalk. This could be because she doesn't want to get in the car, she doesn't want to eat, or maybe her brother won't give up a book... whatever it is. Ideas?
thanks in advance
thanks... Its her birthday today and i think all the talk about "big girl" potty and "big girl bed" were stressing her out, when she came to me and said "I'm a baby". So we've changed our language and bought a new pink princess potty for our princess and its seemed to work. I forgot to say previously that we've repeated to her "you are angry can you say I"M ANGRY as well as, stomp your feet!" and our 4 yr old says the same things to her. thanks
Hi S.,
What has happened lately to make your daughter feel stress? It may be something you do not see as stressful, but is to her. Her behaviors sound like stress reactions to me.
If you can figure out what is stressing her, and deal with it, you should see these symptoms ease or go away.
Good luck!
R. Magby
I have raised 7 kids through potty training. They all seem to train around 2 and then suddenly they just don’t like it anymore. Right now my granddaughter just did the very same thing. It is so normal. Around 3 they are ready to stick with it. If you completely remove the demand of going to the potty his stress might stop. It is just too much too soon. When children act out they are usually trying to tell us something that they do not know how to tell us. They usually don’t even know themselves but they know they have to cry out. Remove the thing he perceives as a threat (the responsibility of going potty) and he might stop the biting.
The earlier a child potty trains, the more likely she is to regress at some future point. I believe it's because the permanence of those "big-girl" demands hits her, and she longs for a more care-free existence, which may actually be a reasonable thing for a 2yo to desire.
The biting herself sounds a lot like my grandson whapping himself in the head at about that age – a practice that continued for almost a year. It seemed to serve two purposes. He got to express how frustrated he was (two-year-olds have many legitimate reasons to feel frustrated), and it got a reaction from the adults in his life, which gave him a little "hit" of real power, however negative.
We dealt with it two ways. We looked for ways to reduce his frustration (more "yes, you can!" and less "no, you can't," warnings when a transition was coming up, more choices, less rigid scheduling, etc.)
We also completely ignored the whapping. He kept it up months longer with a grandma who seemed shocked and concerned every time it happened.
I wouldn't insist that your daughter "love herself." To her, that could be denying her very real feelings and increasing her sense that she's not communicating her frustration well enough. If you talk to her during these episodes, try something like "You are so frustrated / mad! Can you say 'I am SO MAD?' Then we can help you find something happy to do!"
Good luck!
It sounds like something is upsetting her and it is manifesting itself in these behaviors. She is too young to be able to articulate to you what is going on, so it shows up in behaviors. Do not punish the behaviors as this would be "punishing" her feelings. You can say things to her like "I know that something is upsetting you, but please don't bite yourself." You could suggest things that are making her upset, or let he know that you want to hear all about her feelings. She might not be able to talk about this yet, but she is hearing you caring for her. You say she bites when she is angry, so you could say something like "I see that you are angry because you want to continue playing instead of getting in the car. I can understand that. After we go to _____ we will have lots of time to play again." This helps her to understand that her feelings are "anger" and that it is ok to be angry. Obviously, she still needs help on what to do with those angry feelings, which will come. Or you can let her play for a few more minutes if you can, so she feels listened to, and then get in the car. For the potty training, I agree witht the other poster. Just take all the pressure off right now. You can just tell her that she still is learning to use the potty, it is ok to go in the diaper, and when she is ready to go back on the potty then she can use it again. If you look at the behaviors communicationss rather than just as errant behavior, it is easy to be more patient and understanding.
Our 2 year old did this as well. We have completely gone back to diapers and are going to potty train again this summer. The bitting she stopped doing on her own, we did tell her not to bite herself, but not that often I figured she would figure it out herself because it hurt. She still gets angry and throws fits, but she stopped bitting.
