Potty Then Telling

Updated on July 25, 2008
T.D. asks from Florissant, MO
10 answers

I know everyone as questions about potty training, and well as a first time mommy so do I. I know there are no "right" ways of doing it, but I have a daughter who JUST turned 2, she that is very smart and is ready to be potty trianed. I have a few questions.
1. She goes potty in her pants and then tells me that she has to go...how can I get her to tell me before.
2. When I put her easy-ups (pampers verson of pull-ups) she "cheeks" break up. It's not like a diaper rash kind of break out. Do you think the cloth training pants would be better, anyone have an opinion of those, or what I can do to help this out.
3. Last one, her daycare doesn't have room for her to go into the 2yo side, so they are not working with her at daycare, or at least if they are they aren't telling me. We tired to potty train earlier when she was ready but daycare wasn't going to follow through because they said they don't train until she is 2, has pull-ups at daycare, or can say potty (which she could do all of them , but she wasn't), so we had to stop. In my eyes that is the daycare delaying her development, not every child developes at the same speed. How can I get them to work with me at her daycare also???
Thank you everyone in advance for your advice.

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answers from Kansas City on

My daughter just finished training. With all of mine I have found that not having pants on is the best thing. It got them used to listening to their body and we hardly had any accidents. With girls it is easy b/c you can just put them in a cute dress and no one knows. (granted when we would go places she had on panties) Another thing I did was have a potty chair. I took it with them to every room so they would realize they could go even if they were in the middle of playing. Gradually we move it to the bathroom, but at first it is nice having it closeby! If you could take a few days off of work to really work with her I think that would be the best thing especially if they aren't working with her at the day care. Have they told you when she could move to the 2 yo side?

I never used training pants except for naps, trips, bedtime. They always seemed to go in them regardless, but I did find that the pampers version worked better because they felt wet to them where the huggies brand was just like a diaper and dry. We did use some cloth trainers, but they were too big and bulky for my 2 year olds so they didn't like them.

Another thing I used was m&ms as a reward. It is amazing what one little piece of candy can do!! Good luck!

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answers from Kansas City on

I have been thru the potty training fun twice now and it requires a lot of work and commitment from everyone involved in the process.
After lots of research I found this list to be helpful. It saved a lot of time and headache deciding whether or not my kids were truly ready to be potty trained. Trying to train them before they are ready only causes more frustration to the child.

15 Signs of readiness for potty training

Your child is ready for potty training when he or she:
1. Has bowel movements at about the same time every day
2. Can stay dry for a few hours or wakes up dry from sleep
3. Knows that he/she has to go to the bathroom
4. Understands the association between dry pants and using the potty
5. Can pull her pants up and down
6. Lets you know when he/she has soiled his/her diaper (likes to stay dry) 7. Can follow simple directions like, "lets go to the potty"
8. Understands potty training terms (wet, dry, pee, poop, dirty and potty)
9. Can tell you he/she has to go to the bathroom
10. Imitates other family members
11. Shows interest and asks question while watching you
12. Wants to do things "by myself"
13. Enjoys washing his/her hands (like to be clean)
14. Gets upset if his/her belongings are not in their proper place
15. Wants to please you!

Also, you should take into account your daycares opinion too. Since I'm sure they have her the majority of the day and would be pretty aware if she is showing signs of readiness. Don't force her if shes not ready. Maybe thats what your daycare is trying to tell you. But I wouldn't blame the daycare for the delay, they deal with this everyday and know what to look for. They all have there own policies and I'm sure you were aware of theirs before you enrolled your daughter. But you might ask the director to try and get your daughter in the other classroom ASAP or have someone come get her when they are taking the other 2 yr. olds potty until there is an opening.
Remember there is no rule that says every child should be trained by age 2. Every child is different and learns at a different pace. Be patient.
I hope this is helpful to you and Good Luck..

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I have seen this situation hundreds of times through the years. The ironic thing is that often the ones we "think" are ready are the ones that drag out training for a year or more. I've seen parent after parent start training at the first hopeful sign even though they are disregarding a lot of other signs that they are not ready. The whole matter gets confusing for the child and it gets delayed with a lot of false starts. And yet, every single time I get a parent that is not in a hurry to train, they wait til they are almost 3, they suddenly think..."man I better get this done". Those kids are totally ready to go underwear only in a week or two tops and they train easy.

It is a matter of the child being really ready and wanting to badly enough to do it on their own. They really are all different. I have one that only potties a couple times in 8-10 hours. He's always held it and then gone buckets. He is taking the longest because he has no clue what the sensation feels like and he has no personal desire to be trained. I have another that is almost 3 and he wants to so much that he takes his pull-up off and goes on his own. He by the way is one of my most stubborn and willful children and I would have predicted him to be the slowest. I was wrong. He puts the seat up, climbs up there and then after he's done he asks for help to wash his hands. I have another child that has very verbally told us he does not want to go potty and he has complained about it. And yet, since we haven't pushed him he has suddenly decided he wants to go because his friends are. Each of these children will likely be trained entirely before a couple of their friends that have been "training" for a year already! The new trainees all started at the same time and the parents and I agreed to wait for summer so they could run around in their pull-ups making it easier to go. It's nice in a small home setting like this to not have to get the pants up and down and deal with snaps, zippers or buttons when we are going so often.

I agree with the poster that said that you likely were told the center policies on the subject when you enrolled. I know that I let people know again and again what my policies are about this matter and if someone feels they need to remove their child because of it, they should do it long before training time. Training time is a terrible time to add the stress of going to a new caregiver to the mix.

I am curious how daycare centers plan for the times they need to move kids from one class to another but are full. What if they don't have space any time soon? I guess that's the risk of going to a center?


1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

Hi T.,

Potty training is a real pain. I think I would rather cut my hand off then do that again with my 2. As far as the Pampers go, though, my nephew would break out with them, also. It was not diaper rash. Apparently it was some kind of chemical used in the Pamper that is used to make them more absorbable taht he reacted to. My sister switched to Pull-Ups and had no problems. (I always used the Pull-Ups--no problems.) I can't give you advice on your Day Care policies. I know that just turning 2 is a bit young. Potty training has nothing to do with how smart your child is. It has to do with the physical maturity and her ability to feel the sensation of needing to go. With that said, no it is not impossible for a child younger than 2 to potty train--just a thought. I wouldn't rush it. If you like your Day Care, follow their advice. If you don't, go somewhere else, but be prepared that your child might regress with the stress of change and stop training on her own for a while. Good luck to you! God bless.




answers from Kansas City on

I was able to train my daughter over a long weekend. I just let her run around without anything on her lower half (I played with her in the kitchen all day so she didn't go on the carpet). When she went, I would say "oh, you need to go potty!" and had her sit on her potty chair (in the kitchen) while I cleaned her and the floor up (I didn't say anything negative about her going on the floor). I also watched very carefully for when she was about to poop and would say something again about going to the potty, and quickly carry her over to her potty so she could poop there.

After a day or two, she would start to go, stop herself and go to the potty. That's how she began to recognize the feeling of being about to go & developed the ability to hold it until she got to the potty.

Since I was able to get her trained like this on the weekend, she just went to school and already knew to tell someone when she had to go-- the school didn't really even have to work with her on it. I'm going to start training my just-turned-2 daughter in a couple weeks, so I'm hoping it goes as smoothly. Best of luck to you too!



answers from Topeka on

Hi T.-
My son was almost 2 & he was completely potty trained. We didn't use the Pull ups either just the cloth training pants w/plastic pants over it. I had a similar situation with my daycare as well when he was still in it. He was completely potty trained & still with the non-potty trained kids. It really isn't a big deal & he didn't seem to regress any while being there. Eventually when they had room, he moved up. For the time being. I would just bring him in his pull ups or training pants (whatever you use at home) & tell them when the last time was he went potty & what time you want them to take him again. The next long weekend might be a good time to try being diaper free at home & if he does well it might be easier to transition that to daycare. If you do give him a treat at home when he does his business make sure you bring the same treat to daycare so he is encouraged to go there as well. Good luck!



answers from Kansas City on

You could always switch brands of pull ups. When I was younger, Luvs or pampers made me break out, but huggies never did. You could try huggies or whatever other brands there are? You could try the cloth kind with the plastic outter layer as well. Just depends on if you need the ease of tossing the pull up, or have the time to clean the cloth ones. As far as daycare goes, that's bull in my opnion! I'd go talk with them, even if they say they can't move her to the 2y/o side, if she's ready, she's ready, and it won't hurt them to help out, that's what they are supposed to do! If they won't help, I'd look into switching providers. This is an important milestone, and they should be making an effort as well! Just continue working with her at home as much as possible! If you're really brave you can let her go naked and have a potty chair in whatever room she's in to use! Good Luck, and I hope it works out and the training goes good!



answers from Columbia on

My daughter used to do the same thing so we started lettng her wear cloth training pants(we never used pull ups b/c they are too much like diapers & too expensive!), which are just a little thicker than normal underwear & we put those plastic panties on over top of them to help keep the messes a little more contained. Once she went in those a couple of times, she started to realize what it felt like before she went b/c she doesn't like to be wet! After a couple weeks of that, she was doing much better so we went to the store & she got to pick out some pretty underwear, and we told her if she wanted to wear them she had to go in the potty. She turned 2 in March & we ran out of diapers on July 3rd and haven't bought any since...
As for the daycare situation, I'm not sure what to say except that you might need to look into other daycares.
I hope this helped... feel free to contact me if you need any more info.



answers from Springfield on


I feel your pain on the daycare issue. My son was showing signs of being ready when he was only 16 months old and as soon as we took the next step at home and bought underwear and a potty seat he started going right away! We got to the point where on the weekends he wasn't wearing pull ups at all! But when he would go back to daycare it was always a struggle at home in the evening. I had talked to his teachers, but I got the feeling they felt I was exaggerating about his abilities and like you, they didn't start potty training until they were in the 2 year old room. I know it is difficult for them to take one child to the restroom when there are other kids to watch also, but after I talked to the director and started making most of the effort myself I did see a slight change. I brought a potty seat to keep at school so they didn't have to set him up on the toilet and just kept on about him moving over to the other room.

He has now been in the 2 year old room for two months and quite frankly there hasn't been any change, I think he will start going at school when he is ready (as I'm sure your daughter will). We just make sure to keep up our routine at home. I can't speak for your daycare, but I absolutely love my son's and unfortunatly they don't get nearly enough credit for how hard the really do work. An empathetic approach will usually get you further then going in and demanding they do something a certian way (not that you have/would). Anyway hope this gives you some encouragment!



answers from Kansas City on

If your daycare refuses to work with you, then it is time for a different daycare. You hire them to help you in the parenting process because you can not be there all the time for one reason or another. You are the parent and if they are not supportive of your parenting plan then you need to find some place that is. As for the potty training, she will start to tell you she has to go as she learns more what it feels like to go. Sometimes it takes a while, just be patient. We do use cotton underwear. I think it is easier for them to learn it underwear compared to pull ups even though it means more messes. We have also had break out problems on the bum. I think it is just the sensitivity of their skin to the pee. The diapers are designed to lock away the wetness so their skin is not used to it. If she has an accident, just make sure you wash her bum really well and put lotion on her a couple times a day. This has worked for us. Good Luck!

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