Postpartum Depression - Philippi, WV

I have no advice. I can just tell you I am right there with you. My emotions are so out of wack. I cry all the time. I am driving myself crazy

A.,
I agree with the one other poster who said all pregnancies are different & your reaction afterwards to each is different also. After my son was born in August of 99 I was perfectly fine. I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old & although I was tired, I wasn't exhausted & definately not depressed. After my daughter came along in February of 2001, it was a whole different ball game. Granted, my kids are close together (18 months or so) so that means they were both in diapers, etc., but still the way I actually FELT after my daughter was just totally different & pretty much awful. It took me several months of crying & screaming at my husband to realize I was depressed. I called my OBGYN & was told by the nurse that if I hadn't had any symptoms while still in the hospital then it wasn't postpartum, just normal depression. Well, at the time I didn't have a PCP for myself so I put it off even longer. After 9/11 when my husband was being shipped off for 4 months, I had to go to the Dr. for a totally un-related issue & she asked me how I had been feeling in general & I just completely broke down. She put me on a low dose of Zoloft starting immediately right there in the office. (She also told me that what the nurse at the OBGYN told me about the timing of the depression was off & that it most likely had begun as postpartum). Within a couple of weeks I felt about a million times better, even with having to deal with being on my own for months with 2 tiny kids, not having a job, looking for a new apartment because our lease was up & knowing that my husband was going to miss our new baby's 1st Christmas. For the first time in months & months I at least felt hopeful & knew that I was able to get through this tough situation we had ended up in. Without a doubt you should talk to your doctor & see what they have to say about your situation. Don't put it off & hope it will go away on its' own, not only for your sake but for your new family as well. You want to be able to look back on the beginning of your baby's life as a beautiful time, not a dark & depressed time. I wish you all the best!

A.,
You say you feel like the whole parenting thing rests on your shoulders. Maybe you're husband doesn't know what to do. Mine sure didn't. Ask him to take the baby for a little while each day (even a half hour would be great for YOU) and do something for you. No dishes, laundry, vacuuming, housework, etc. Go paint your nails, take a quick nap, take a shower, go for a drive, etc. Talk to your husband about ways he can be more involved in parenting. He can read to him, play with him, bathe him, etc. Being a mother is a HUGE responsibility. To be the best mom you can be, you can't forget to take care of yourself.

Secondly, it doesn't hurt to just call your doctor about it. At six weeks postpartum, your hormones are still doing some pretty funky stuff but it's worth the call/visit to rule out PPD.

Chin up!
T.

A.,
New motherhood is not easy, especially when you are learning something for the first time with no one to truly teach you. On top of it - your sleep deprived, hormonal and probably alone all day. I had postpartum depression badly, but I was extreme - if I didn't get out and socialize with my son I would end up staying in the house all day crying. I cried at everything. My husband was beside himself, I had to explain over and over to my husband what I was feeling(and he is a clinical psychologist by background). Do you have family close by that you can lean on? I had my mother-in-law stay with us and my mom would go car trips. Will your husband take over at the end of the day - you could exercise, shop... Don't forget about yourself. As women we tend to take on all the responsibility and feel guilty for everything, take some time for you. Are you postpartum? Hard to say, but it never hurts to talk to someone - I did that too. Good luck, just know you are not alone.

I have a 4 year old and 2 2 year old twin boys. With each child I felt like I wanted to divorce my husband after they were born. I don't think it was post partum depression, but rather I was tired and not receiving the help, understanding, and support from my husband. My husband travels a lot, and I didn't have those feelings when he was gone because I had no expectations from him while he was gone, but when he came home and didn't help out and expected me to be super woman and do everything and wouldn't help out with the baby at all that's when we would fight. My husband is just the type of guy that won't have anything to do with the baby unless he can communicate with it and they can understand and communicate back. Yes, that's not correct and he got better with the twins because he had to, but not much. I don't know if this is similar to your situation, but if it is, somehow you really need to get him to understand that you need his help, support and understanding. Figure out what exactly you need from him because maybe he is clueless, and sit him down and discuss it with him. Hopefully your husband is much more empathetic than mine. Good luck!!

A.,
I had my twin sons in Oct of 2005 and after they were born nothing was good enough. The house was a mess, I didn't want to do anything, I was having a very hard time healing after giving birth, I felt like my husband wasn't doing anything (he really was, we both got up at night and split the chores, etc), I was constantly stressed about money, etc. It took us a long time to get into a schedule that worked for the 2 of us and our twins.
Once I went back to work (he stays at home), things were really horrible. I know it was because I envied him getting to stay home while I had to work and so we really started fighting and I thought for sure we would split. He finally approached me one day and said he thought I was depressed and to please speak to a doctor. All that did was anger me more. After fuming for a couple of days, I realized how I was acting, so I eventually did say something to the doctor (I didn't want my kids to hear yelling and see a crazed mom) and he gave me a sheet to fill out and it turned out I did have mild depression. I think the biggest contributing factor is that I don't know if I will have more kids. I want to have as many as I can, but we can't afford it. So I'm always depressed when I think about it. The doctor prescribed Wellbutrin and it has really been helping me. Although I still want more kids and we never have enough money and I think our house is always a mess, I feel better. I don't go from laughing to crying to smiling to yelling anymore.
Talk to your husband about how you are feeling and try to work out a schedule where you can get some extra rest. Things are exhausting and getting burnt out won't help. See if you guys can take turns sleeping in on the weekends or something like that. I would also see a doctor if you don't see an improvement soon.
I hope my advice helps some!

A.,
You are not allone, call your ob /gyn health care provider, call the hospital at which you had the baby support is available, and can help, it is a tough time after having a baby and most of all continue to get the help.

We had a lot of problems too. I still don't know if it was PPD or just the adjustment. Some guys it's hard for them to just be supportive when they can't "fix" something for you. They see you struggling and unhappy and since they can't magic it away they get cranky and difficult themselves. That was our issue, but I've heard of a lot of others going through it too.

One thing you can do for yourself before you try professional help is take some omega-3's and B vitamins, either a supplement or better still, increasing your intake of foods with these.

And if you do decide to investigate medications, you should know that most anti-depressants are compatible with nursing, so you should not face any pressure to wean. In fact, depression often gets worse if you wean because the breastfeeding hormones help to keep it in check. :)

http://www.postpartum.net/ is a great resource.

A.,
It is hard to say if you are going through PPD or just overly exhausted. Regardless, go to your Doctor as soon as possible. You owe it to yourself and son to be as healthy a possible. I went on Zoloft soon after my first son was born and it helped a lot. I know this sounds simple but drink a TON of water. Being hydrated helps more than we realize.
Good Luck!!

I ahve had three pregnancies & they were all different. I was fine after my Son in 89. I had my Daughter in 96 and I thought the world was coming to an end. I was very tired and edgy and all I wanted to do was sleep. I had a really hard time. I didn't want to clean or cook or anything else. All I did was take care of the baby & cry & fight with my husband. I ended up going back to my OB for my check-up and she immediately put me on an Anti-depressant. It's totally normal to be depressed after having a child. I had a few symptoms after I had the twins, but it was nothing like after my daughter. Good luck! Everything will be okay. Hang in there.

I have had postpartum depression.....symptoms are sadness, not feeling like you want to do anything, bitchiness,and feeling like you don't want to be a mother or feeling like you aren't good enough to be a mom. It wouldn't hurt to tell your Dr. If you are depressed a mild antidepressent would help greatly. Lots of luck to you! :)

Motherhood is as amazing as it is hard. In the beginning it all seems like it is falling on your shoulders, but you know your baby better than anyone. It is true. You and your husband need time together. You are worn out/tired/prob a lil sore still depending on how your labor was. Do you have any outside help? Family/friends/neighbors? Tonight, just sit down and pour your heart out to him. Does your hussband know what you are feeling? he needs too. You are not crazy or physcho...just a new mom. If you ever need to talk...I sent you a message on how to a hold of me. Huggs

A.:
I agree with the group...everyone is different. I sort of denied my PPD after my daughter was born this past February but when I think about it...I had a touch of it. Unfortunately, after she was born (a month early) she had jaundice really bad and my milk hadn't come in and I was breastfeeding...thinking she was eating but she was getting nothing so she wasn't getting anything her first two days basically (I think they were feeding her from a bottle a bit in the nursery when I was asleep). The first time I got upset was in the hospital 3 days after she was born and they were telling me we could go home. Then a few hours later, she brought in our discharge papers, left the room for am oment and then came back in and TORE THEM UP right in front of me and said we weren't going home because she needed more time under phototropic lights for her jaundice. I CRIED even when her doctor and mine came in to check on me. (That was harsh on the hospital's part anyways and uncalled for). THEN when I got home, after the weekend, my boyfriend had to go back to work because he just got a new job and was still in training (driving 2 hours to get to Baltimore for training and then back again) my sister was there to help also on the weekend but wasn't much help...just to hold her when I was pumping, getting something, etc. Then, my mother came down for a few weeks to be with us while to help but did the same thing as my sister...not too much. I still had to do the laundry, take the dogs outside (we live in a condo so we have to be outside with them), do the dishes, cook (my mom DID help with that) AND TAKE CARE OF THE BABY ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT. My boyfriend, since he had to go to training, NEVER got up in the middle of the night to feed her (he STILL DOESN'T DO IT). On top of all of that, two weeks later, I developed a pilonidal cyst on my tailbone which I couldn't sit directly on (and STILL can't for a long period of time even after surgery). I broke down initially from the pain and it ultimately resulted in me stopping breastfeeding because it was too painful and stressful on my body that I wasn't producing the amounts of milk I needed. Talk about PAIN...MORE CRYING (before the surgery). 5 weeks after I had my daughter, I had the surgery on my tailbone. Even after that...I was STILL up and taking care of the baby, taking care of the dogs, laundry, dishes and cooking. It was h*** o* me and the lack of sleep wasn't helping me. Even on the weekends my boyfriend wasn't getting up in the middle of the night. I am the type of person to let me do it on my own and that way I know it will be done right. It was hard for me to ask for help (it still is). Things are much better now but you DEFINITELY can't hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. Our family is 5 hours and 14 hours away from us and we really had no help...I was basically doing it on my own. ASK FOR HELP, READ ABOUT PPD, SPEND SOME ALONE TIME WITH YOURSELF AND WITH YOUR HUSBAND, and don't forget feel free to share your feelings with us on here because that's what we are here for! :-) (Now that I've written a book)...Good Luck.

i can only say that i waited til i was 35 to have my baby and it was still hard for me... take a deep breathe. its the first step to even realize that this might be postpartum...so good for you... you are just starting your "adult" life (plse dont take that the wrong way) and this is alot... hopefully, your husband is able to see thru the fights for what they are.. exhaustion.. uncertainty, etc.. you will be fine... sleep as much as you can.. your body is still getting back to normal. your hormones are adjusting.. its like pms on steriods!!!

when i had postpartum, i didnt realize it at first.. my first thought when i got up was counting how many hours it would be before i was able to go back to sleep,, cried ALL the time.. fought with my fiance ALL THE TIME>.. it happens... hopefully you can get alot of support from your hubby.. if not, write me, i will be happy to listen!

Do not be afraid to accept any help you can get. Having and caring for a child is extremely demanding and exhausting. I was depressed with both my children (now 4 and 5) and it is awful. I cared for nothing. I didn't experience suicidal thoughts, but I honestly did not have a will to live. I didn't take care of myself (shower, brush, etc) unless forced. I ignored my husband because I was just so numb - the days all blurred. I have to force myself to get up and shake a bottle of formula for my baby and prop it. Thank goodness God was with us and took care of my children while I was like that. I took a few pills, and found Prozac worked for me. I am like a totally different person now - alive. Meds are not always the answer and therapy helps. Please, make an appointment - you are not alone.

It's completely normal! I was 21 when I had my daughter last June and although I loved her to death I was still hit with postpartum. I felt like I was too young and I was depressed because I didnt have freedom anymore and I didnt feel like anyone helped me but it all went away in a month or so on its own.

I'm 29 and just had my first baby 7 months ago. I struggled with Postpartum Depression, too. It's tough. I cried a lot and was terrified that something was going to happen to my baby. I sought help from my PCP. I was on medication for about 4 years due to anxiety, and I stopped when I had the baby. It was the wrong choice for me. She put me back on it. I don't think meds are the answer for everyone. If you don't want to take them, talk to someone. You shouldn't try to deal with this alone. You don't have to, there's help out there and this is what it's there for. There's no shame in saying you need help. Good luck.

check this website out...http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/postpartum.htm Just copy and paste into your browser, or type it in... i just did some research and found that site.. tells u just about everything u need to know.. hope this helps