Posting for a Friend - 6 Year Old Has a Crush - HELP!
December 14, 2010
My son is 6 years old and I think he has his 1st crush on a girl in his class. He giggles and says that she is his girlfriend and always draws pictures and gives her little things. I have tried to talk to him about it, but I am not sure if I am just getting worried about nothing. How can I explain this to him without distroying him for life!!!
Thank you all for your responses. I have let her know your input and she will go from there. I think its terrific that there are so many moms out there and I think this is a great forum! Lots of input! Thanks again ladies!
He's 6 and has a crush so he's 6 and has a crush! no need to explain anything he's 6. This is his little friend not the girl he's going to marry. There is no need to discuss anything no need to explain no need to butt in, he's showing kindness to someone he likes someone, who must be nice to him. Trying to explain anything will confuse him and make him think he may be doing something wrong by showing kindness. When he punches another little boy in the nose for trying to talk to his lady , then there will be a need for discussion, till then no need.
I wouldn't worry about it, unless the girl feels he is bothering her, or he doesn't seem friendly with other kids. If everyone is fine with it, it will pass quickly. You want him to trust you, so overreacting now could mean that he won't talk to you about girls later--when you really need to know what's happening!
Relax, what are you worried about? The bigger deal you make of it the bigger deal it will become. Just say something like, Oh, how nice that you have Susie for a friend. It is important for kids to know it is ok to have a friend of the opposite sex. My kindergartener still fondly recalls her "best friend, Nathan" from preschool. One night when I was laying with her in bed she asked, "M., how can I get Nathan to love me as much as I love him?". My response was, just enjoy having him for a friend. It was so cute!
Why are you worried????? Didn't you ever have a crush when you were young? You don't start talking to kids about having "relationships" when they are older - these are perfect examples of when life lessons can be taught! Talk to him about "it's always nice to have friends who are boys, as well as friends who are girls" - then talk to him about all his friends and how it's nice to have friends. As long as he isn't bothering her, touching her constantly, trying to kiss her or is acting out in class, why is this bad????? If it were a huge issue, you would have heard from the teacher already. It's innocent and we should let out children enjoy their innocence as long as it is in the parameters of decent behavior. Thinking that you could "destroy him for life" really means that you have to work on your approach so that you are not overreacting, (good mantra: RESPOND - don't REACT!) especially when these moments are only the building blocks to bigger issues, later in life. Good luck!
I agree with the others: NBD!! There is no reason to do anything. My son always had a crush on a little girl in his class starting in 1st grade. This is normal for kids and it doesn't really mean anything.
Your obsessing over something simple and totally normal. Let it go and it will go away or he'll move on to the next girl or boy even. At this age they are just happy to have someone whom they have a lot in common or with whom they have lots of fun. If you show too much attention to it you could end up over-emphasizing the whole 'girlfriend' issue which is not what it is. I wouldn't even consider it a crush at this point.
He's six - relax. My daughter was "in love" with an 8 year old neighbor when she was 2.5 and is mad about her 13 year old cousin. I guess I'll have to do something about that one if it persists until she's a teenager...:-) I don't make a big deal about any of it, I just say positive things like, "He is really nice. You're lucky to have such great friends!" There's absolutely no reason to be upset. It's completely innocent and just a natural way for them to explore new feelings and new friendships. Write it down in his "baby book" -- it's his first crush! Cute.
Just like the other moms, I don't think it's a big deal....sometimes I would make up stuff to say like - "Ooh gross, girls have cooties!" And tease the kids about having a boyfriend or girlfriend...it's all in good fun. Just laugh about it and have a good time - they don't have hormones yet and they don't know what GF/BF relationships are...so when they get older and more awkward around the opposite sex, they will come to you for advice. I also had a crush on a boy in Kindergarten - I went up and started tickling his back while he was crawling on the floor....he got up and pushed me to the ground! I started crying and that was the end of my crush!!
I think that is so cute. I have a 5 y.o. boy who came home yesterday and told me he got a letter from a girl in his class that said "I love you". He wrote her 2 letters, one said "no, (her name)" and the other said "Hi, (her name)". At this age kids are so innocent(hopefully) there is nothing more than a crush there. I think they see parents/grown ups and they mirror us. Once they get older, they learn to be more discreet because of peer pressure or rejection. I do think there is nothing to worry about, in fact I would enjoy the honesty of your son and his crush. He'll probably find a new girl next week. My son had a pre-school girl friend (and it was a mutual crush) when she went to a different school there was someone new. I would worry when they are older and it starts to effect their regular habits and when they learn about intimacy.
There's no need to explain anything. He'll move on to something or someone else before you know it. Make sure he doesn't forget his other friends in the mean time that way he has others to play with when something happens to the friendship with the girl.
I remember my "first grade boyfriend" very fondly. I went over to his house to play, always sat next to him at circle time, and even kissed him once. I believe this is typical for kids this age - they're first beginning to be aware of sex differences. No big deal. Ask him what he likes about this girl and don't discourage the relationship - he'll grow out of it soon enough, and there's no harm in it.
YEAY!!!!!! Im so excited for you....This is the cutest phese for boys. When my hubby was in Iraq his Plt Sgt's son was 4 and he "proposed" to me. I loved it. He looked at me and said "you're not married so I better jump on this opportunity while Billy's gone." From a 4yr old!!! I loved it. 4-8 are the absolute cutest for boys. They are so sweet, and their curshes are so innocent, and lovely.
UGH, I can't wait till my son gets there, and out of the wild phase he's in now.
I had my first crush in Kindergarten. I think it is no big deal and he will grow out of it and think that girls are gross soon enough. Let him learn a bit about being friends with the oppposite sex for a while. It sounds like when he is older hw will really know how to treat the ladies. ; )
Just leave it be. My twins are 7 and in 2nd grade and we went through the same thing last year, except for us it was the boys liking my girls(I did notice "crush like" responses from my girls-the giggling and such. Try not to make a fuss over it, but as long as he isnt disrupting class or anything he will be just fine. Is the girls saying anything to him or telling the teacher that he is bothering her?
What are you explaining to him? He likes a girl in his class and maybe she likes him or maybe she won't want all that he gives but he will work that out as he goes along. The same thing happens with many other social interactions - he will want to hang out with some kid(s) and they will either be as interested or less interested in this as he is. I would talk to him about all his friends at school, just conversationally to see how things are going.
Don't worry... the child is 6 and so innocent in his thoughts -- the crush will probably pass by the next year when she is in a different class or when he gets distracted by playing with his friends. Relax, it's a crush
I wouldn't worry about it...my son had a "girl friend" named Annabelle when he was in first grade. I simply told him that was nice. He talked about her often and one day I saw Annabelle..she was about a foot taller than him and of a different race! My husband and I just laughed over it that evening. Nothing ever came of it, of course...I just thought it was nice that he wasn't looking at color of skin or that she was a very large girl. Don't worry!
Very sweet. I had a crush on a boy in first grade. His name was Scott. He didn't like me. I hunted him down on the playground and kissed him. Soon enough I went on to other things. He and I are 46 and still very good friends. We e-mail each other almost every day and talk on the phone once a month. (He is gay, and the joke is that I "turned" him that way with my kiss. Even he laughs about it!)
My grandson just turned 5 and last year he would talk about the girl...He never said her name as he did with the other girls in his Sunday School Class. He always just said the girl. One day he said I think I love the girl. I said oh really? In the mean time the girl's neighbor (our friend) was telling me she was watching "the girl" playing in the front of her house...she had flowers on her head and in her hand and she had a skirt wrapped around and a lei (she is Hawaiian) for about 2 hours she was busy walking with the flowers and going thru a whole series of events. My friend got so curious she went over and asked her what she was doing..Her answer was oh I am practicing for my wedding to Ronnie (my grandson) Oh well,,who knows they have years away but they are so cute...enjoy while you can...LOL