Post Partum Depression and Another PG??

T.,

First of all, know this: No O. on this site is going to tell you whether you have PPD or not. You need to discuss that topic with your doctor.

Also, you need to stop acting like "all is well" to others if it is not. There is no shame in having depression just like there is no shame in "having" cancer, or diabetes. What there IS shame in is ignoring it/not seeking treatment for the sake of appearance. No matter what anyone (including your husband) thinks. We all need help sometimes. Whatever form it may come in: a house cleaner, a nanny, medication, therapy, a babysitter occasionally, 30 minutes to read a book in peace and quiet...whatever! Ask for help if you need it.

That said, you have a LOT going on. And are unsure whether it's about to get more interesting......with a new baby.

No O. can do it all. I repeat: NO O. CAN DO IT ALL.
If you must work FT, then you are going to have to accept the fact that not everything is going to get done when you want it to get done. And that's OK.

As for the Christmastime breakdown, everyone was OK, right? Everyone was fed, healthy & safe. Let go of the Norman Rockwell images of everyone in their Sunday best gathered around an idyllic dinner table. Not gonna happen. Probably ever. At the end of the day if your kids are fed, cared for and safe...that's enough. It can be enough.
I remember feeling like I was NEVER able to get out of the house--and I only had O. child. It's normal. You received no help packing and just couldn't do it. No big deal. Life is hectic and nap skipping happens!

All I'm saying is don't hold yourself up to some mythological standard of a super human working über mom. They don't exist!
Best wishes!

Part of depression is not having the energy to even make an appointment with the doctor. When they call with the results of the blood work, ask them to connect you to make an appt for PPD.

PPD is real and not shameful in any way. It is just like any other ailment. If you do not have the strength to do this for yourself, do it for your children. They deserve to have a mom that is happy and healthy.

One of the things having a child helped me learn is that it takes a self confident person to admit when they need help. I had always thought it was the opposite. A strong person never needs help..

Asking for help is a gift you give to a person that really loves you and wants to help. Teach your children this so that they will not suffer as you have.

Oh, I have a feeling you're going to receive a lot of support and empathy to your post. I hope we're able to comfort you if nothing else to let you know you're not alone.

My understanding has always been that PPD is caused by the influx of hormones leaving your body following the birth of the child. Here's what MayoClinic.com has to say: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS...

I struggled with depression prior to having both of my kids and expected it to really hit hard after their births. Surprisingly, that never happened. So, my instinct is that perhaps it's traditional Depression caused by an imbalance of chemicals, the overwhelming nature of being a mom to 2 young kids with a spouse working a lot, etc.

My best advice to you is to figure out what you want to change in your life, how you want to achieve it, and then (this is the hardest part), make the appointments.

There was a question late last week about a Mom taking Pristiq, and it generated a lot of criticism for being treated medically. It's OK if that's the best way to treat your symptoms currently. Anti-Depressants and Anti-Anxiety medications wouldn't sell $Billions/year if they didn't help and a lot of people didn't need them (most people you know are likely on one).
For me, after having my daughter, going through 5 months of chemo and trying to learn to live as a cancer survivor/wife/mom/employee, etc. I needed to seek solutions to managing my life. So, I went to a therapist who helped tremendously. I've chosen not to be on medication because of personal reasons (mostly fear of what initially caused my cancer).

But, I wish you well in feeling better and feeling like life is a little more manageable.

Working and doing all of the child care is stressful. Recogise that you are trying to do it all. Let some things slide. What are the most important things? Your family!

I went back to work when my daughter was 12 weeks and it was a constant struggle. I quit working when she was 18 months old, I couldn't keep a husband and a child and a house PLUS 50 + hours a week balanced. Now my daughter and I have an amazing relationship, my husband still doesn't have time to help out much but I have more time to get things done so it doesn't feel like the world is imploding. Had I stayed at work I would have needed drugs or a divorce.

I suffered from Late Onset PPD with both my children. My daughter was 22 months old the first time and with my son he was 10 months old when it happened. It can happen within the first 24 months after the birth. I didn't know it was PPD until it happened after the 2nd one.I was seeing a therapist and she had made the diagnosis and I discussed it with my OBGYN and she said she completely agreed with that diagnosis. My primary started me on Lexapro and I am doing great! You need to get your doctors talking to eachother to see what the best treatment option is for you. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to, I've been thru it twice, you know where to reach me. :)

You have already received some good advice, so I will keep this short. It really is going to be okay. The idea that you have to "handle it" and be in control is not helping you. I think that one of the hardest things about being a mom is feeling that pressure to do it all and do it all perfectly. The thing is, nobody is doing that. We all have days like you had. We all fall apart sometimes.
You are stronger than you know, you are strong enough to let go of this idea that you have to have it all together. You don't. It is okay to ask for help. Please consider seeing a counselor. Having 2 young kids at home and being worried about the possiblilty of a third is overwhelming, and would be for anyone. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way.
Best of luck to you.

Try Googling "pregnancy support center chester, NY" and call your local center to set up an appointment. They will help you figure some of this out.

I am so sorry you are going through this and feeling so overwhelmed right now, and that now you have the pregnancy on top of it.
Yes, it sounds like you are suffering from PPD and you need to get help immediately. The sooner you get help, the sooner you can start feeling better. Start by talking to your OB or primary care physician for a referral. You need someone who specializes in PPD.
Also, talk to your doc about seeing a psychiatrist so you can discuss the possibility of going on antidepressants. Most are safe to take during pregnancy if you decide not to terminate. They are also usually safe to take while you're nursing, so you wouldn't have to stop that.

Before you decide what to do about the pregnancy, talk to a therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist. Even Planned Parenthood can have some good resources for you. Make sure you are comfortable with whatever you decide to do. Termination won't be easy, BUT you can avoid the scar and guilt by knowing that you are doing what is best for you and your family at this time. If you truly do not feel that you can handle going through another pregnancy and/or raising another baby, don't let outsiders convince you otherwise. Rely on the advice of professionals and make the decision with your husband.

Try to find a support group too - you might feel a little better if you talk to other moms of toddlers + babies who share your experiences and feelings.

First of all, relax. Take a deep breath.

I had major (and immediate) PPD with my first and prepared to be hit again with PPD with my second. All seemed well, but more than six months later I was completely breaking down, freaking out, etc. I made an appt with my OB immediately and went on meds when my new baby was seven months old. I happen to know- from experience- that you can take certain meds to help control your PPD while pregnant. Go immediately and talk to your doctor! There is no judgement. They don't look at you any differently. You are no less of a woman or a mother. I promise!

Secondly, is there a chance that you're considering termination because of the PPD? You're EXTREMELY overwhelmed. Get on meds and then have the discussion with your husband about termination. I'm not going to tell you one way or the other what to do, but I have a feeling that when you're feeling "normal" again, you might feel differently about this new pregnancy. Don't make a hasty decision because you might have serious regrets (one way or the other) later.

I really feel for you, it's hard having a three year old and a new baby. I've been there, and it's not all unicorns and rainbows. You can and will get through this. You aren't alone! Go to the library, get some books and educate yourself more on PPD. You'll feel empowered! Send me a message if you want a shoulder to lean on. Hugs!

You're going to need to talk to someone......if not the minister, then get professional help. You're not nuts, and it's ok to need help once in a bit, believe me I know........

First off, as far as another baby, that's between you and your husband. If you wanted more kids, then you need to decide what to do.

As for you breaking down.......talk to your husband, tell him you need more help, that you just feel under alot of pressure and he needs to help a bit more.....hopefully he will.

You are stronger than you think you are. I know you don't think so, but you are. Start looking at all the great things you have in your life. Stop looking at all the hectic or things you don't have in your life. And stop trying to do it all. No one can do everything all the time, it's impossible. Slow down and just do what you can.......as long as the kids are taken care of, and you and the hubby are ok.....then don't worry about the house so much........if you are going someplace, try packing days in advance.......you'd be surprised if you start a couple of three days sooner than you need too, how easy it becomes. I had 4 kids, basically two sets of twins (my hubby & my kids) and it got pretty hectic and there were days I just felt I was going to collapse.......but I took it one day at a time and it got alot better......

I wish you luck, please talk to someone, anyone you feel you can confide in, it's important to vent once in a while.......so get help......

Take care.

I dont know if you are religious or not, but god will never give you more than you can handle. You were meant to have this baby for a reason. Maybe you should first talk to your husband and your doctor and try to see a counselor that could help you through this. Try to get back to being you before you make any decisions. You are very overwhelmed and need to have a clear head before you make a decision you may regret. I understand your scared and let me tell you i dont know what i would do if were to get pg right now either but i know i would definatly keep the baby. It is a gift as you know. So just talk to people first and try to feel better about things. It will all work out in the long run. Good luck!