Possible Severe Depression/anxiety & How to Deal with It.

Updated on August 14, 2008
K.C. asks from Hamilton, OH
11 answers

My husband and I have agreed that something has been very "off" with me a lot lately. I've been stressed out, I blow up at my kids/husband at odd times and sometimes for no reason. My husband said that I go from being happy to being tired, stressed & angry within the same hour. We thought that I may have bi-polar disorder, but I did a few online assessments and they are all coming up with the same conclussion... severe depression and anxiety. I know that I need to go talk with my doctor, but that scares me a lot. First of all, we don't have the best health insurance so any medications are going to be coming out of our pockets which aren't exactly filled with money. And I'm not a pill popper. I hate taking meds. I'm also sure that the doctor will want me to see a therapist. Again, money that we will have to pay out of pocket. I have thought about trying to "get through it" on my own, but after some time has passed, I am noticing that it's getting worse and my family is suffering because of it. I guess I'm sending this out to get encouragment, advice, etc. What should I do? How do I make myself better but without the stress of financial strain?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers



answers from Cincinnati on

Definitely see your Dr. I talked to my OB/GYN & he prescribed meds for me. Not all meds are really expensive. Most antidepressants are now in generic as well as brand name. I was the same way that you are describing that you are feeling before I started taking zoloft. Now I am like a different person...like the person that I used to be before I got depressed. It's not always something that a therapist can fix, sometimes it's just chemical & the only thing that will help is meds. I hate taking pills too but I can tell you that I hated the way I was feeling & living my life a lot more. Good luck!



answers from Cincinnati on

All the solution you have received so far are great. Excersise helps alot. Meds may be needed to get you through a rough patch. Theraapy can help if you are stuck in a rut about something (communication styles with spouse, repeated issues with siblings, etc.) There are coupons and samples of medication, if you ask. There are free or sliding scale mental health facilities through family service agencies/United Way. Don't deny yourself help if you can get it without adding financial stress to the mix. By the way, a friend of mine told me something she learned from AA that has been helpful: Think HALT - Are you Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired? These are all triggers to my difficult and sometimes disrespectful outbursts with my family.
On a related note, I have been treated for depression most of my adult life [I'm 49 yrs. young] and recently found out that it is ADD. How? An ADHD med has been working great for my daughter, so my doctor asked me if I wanted to try it since anti-depressants were no longer doing that wonderful for me. I am now on Adderall and off of Effexor and functioning better than I have in many years. Lots of my anxiety, frustration and depression comes from my own expectations not being met. Just a thought as you explore the possible causes. Good luck.



answers from Cincinnati on

Karen, You are NOT alone with this! So many Mom's experience depression. I have battled it for years. It comes and goes for me. When traumatic things have happen (death of a loved one, opening a business, etc..) Depression sneaks in. Sometimes you think you feel bad BECAUSE you are just sad or stressed but depression is different. You feel LOST, like there is no HOPE, you have no energy, you don't want to do things that are everyday things (grocery shopping, etc..) I used to think, "If I go to the grocery, I may run into someone I know and have to talk to them.." I couldn't stand the idea of having to fake a happy conversation. Also, I'd get to the store and feel like crying WHILE in the store.

I was just like you, afraid to talk to a doctor, afraid to take pills, terrible insurance, etc...
I found that if you have a good doctor that you trust, once you start the conversation with them, "I think I may be depressed..." they take over with important questions and they can help you figure out if you are REALLY depressed.
Once I finally broke down and made the appointment it wasn't embarrassing to me.
Also, you can go online to the companys website, for many pills prescribed and find coupons. Welbutrin sent me HUGE coupons for their meds, EVERY MONTH! My prescription ended up being very cheap w/these coupons.
Lastly, my doc. always told me that he didn't expect me to be on anti-depressants FOREVER. It was more of a crutch for me and he really recommended EXERCISE. I have to tell you that I got to a point where exercise completely helped. I don't take anything now and when I begin to feel bad, I realize that I need to get out and MOVE. Walking, classes, etc..Try these first if you feel you can. They may really help you to feel better. However, I know how hard it is having small children and no time, so do what works best for you.
Feel free to email me if you need someone to talk to.
Good luck & take care.



answers from Dayton on

I'm not sure why you would say that you are sure that the doctor will send you to a therapist b/c i totally disagree. I was diagnosed with anxiety/depression back in 2001 and i have been on medication ever since. I have tried a lot but Welbutrin works best for me. When I first went to the doctor I just explained to him how I was feeling emotionally...he listened and in the end diagnosed me. Not one time did he suggest a therapist. I have since changed doctors b/c I moved and my new doctor has never suggested a therapist either. If you go to the doctor with your mind made up as to what is going to happen it is not going to be a productive visit. Explain to the doctor how you have been acting and feeling and go from there. There are a lot of generic versions of medications out there...im taking a generic of Welbutrin. Take a deep breath this is the best for you which means its the best thing for your family. You need to take care of you first or you won't be able to take care of your family. Good Luck!



answers from Youngstown on

I could have written your request myself for things over the last two years. Easily for me - I had a baby and it was clear that PPD was to blame. I have finally hit on some help through diet and Dr. Bennet - PPD Dr.

A few things I highly recommend - easy to do (okay - need scheduling) and not expensive.

1.It may take time to explain this......try to find your internal voice....you know the one that says all those horrid guilty and blaming comments, that keep you angry at everyone around you recounting injustices......that one. Try to capture that mental talk - write it down if you need to. But most importantly.....STOP the thought immediately when you know it's not anything beneficial to your mood, change it around and talk back to yourself. You will need to rephrase things to minimize exaggerations,or let go of the past that you keep recounting and cannot change. Or present issues that you cannot change but keep reliving in your mind, like with a boss. Your mind and body relive it by you thinking it.....call that real stress and anxiety that we do (ME TOO!) to ourselves. It will really tire you out and weigh down your mind and soul.

2. Goofy but true - I have affirmations all over the downstairs....things like "My mind is calm and at peace" - I love that one. Printed out with flowers on 8 X 11 sheets. I have a good one for you that I use....it goes like this:
I am my #1 priority. It is essential that I take care of myself so that I can take care of my family {internalize this!}

3. GET SLEEP!!! If this means getting in bed at 9pm then DO IT!. Your serotonin (happy feeling chemicals) will drop and keep dropping if you aren't getting AT LEAST 6 HOURS of UNINTERRUPTED sleep EVERY night. BIG issue for me and probably every mom. It bears repeating....GET SLEEP!!

4. Meds - I hate them but take them. You can try some cheaper OTC herbals to see if that works like chamomile and other teas for stress, kava kava, st johns wort, or research other trace minerals and their impact online.

5. Improve your nutrition - sugar would be my first thought as a culprit and contributor to depression.

6. Others said these as well - some regular exercise. You don't have to cycle for miles. Calming short walks if you can.

7. Time for K. - 2 hours 3-4 times a week where you only do what K. wants - with others or alone. Not house chores, no cleaning, not laundry, not driving around doing errands. TIME FOR K. - like reading, long showers, going to a park or the library, strolling the mall, crafts, holding and cuddling a pet. Whatever makes your center glow - for 2 hours, no less.

8. Ask for help if you need it - always, like when scheduling your time and needing a sitter. ASK FOR HELP!!

Well I am off my soapbox. I can only recount these because I am living them all myself presently. It helps to tell someone else and internalize them myself.

Keep us posted deary. Big hugs and bestest warmest wishes.

K. too... :) Email or message me any time you want!



answers from Cincinnati on

Karen do not feel bad for feeling this way. I think a lot of women go through this but have a hard time admitting it. We think that we have exactly what we have ever wanted why are we not feeling the way we should. Now about taking medication the other response I agree with if you need the medication~you need the medication. Talk to you Dr. they may have samples it is definetly worth a shot. My Dr put me on meds and suggested a therapist and I found that with the meds a was 100% better and did not need the therapy- I know all people are different so your results may vary. Best of luck but please talk to someone it could not hurt only help!



answers from Cincinnati on

I understand about the money thing and not being a medicine taker.
I can surely identify with both.

I also understand the anxiety and depression torment.

Ok. what's most important---

You being healthy for you, for them and for your husband.

You've got 2 young children. Active ages. Zapping all your energy and time.

The kids don't understand your mood and attitude.
This can really cause damage in their little souls. It's confusing to them.

Go to the doctor.
Talk through the finances with your husband.
Make an appointment. Take a sister or trustworthy friend to go with you and listen to the doctor's report if you can't take your husband. They will hear what you missed or understand what you can't.

Don't make any decisions right away. Come home and talk over the outcome at the doctor visit with your husband.

Not to worry, but make sure your thyroids are checked.
I wish you perfect health and peace



answers from Cincinnati on

Don't be scared about having depression - instead take control of it and get the help you need. Sometimes it does run in families and the meds can help, especially if its just a biological thing (and your mind focuses on the negative parts of your life to justify your emotions). Many places offer massive discounts on medicine (like Kroger). Talk to your doctor about what options you have.

Be patient with the meds too - some of them take a month to really kick in, and you might find you and your doctor "trying" out one medicine this month, finding out it doesn't work and picking another. Or that in a few years you have to switch to another medicine because the medicine you're taking has stopped working. Or that your doctor picks one medicine and you'll never have to switch. Everyone is different, but if its a biological problem believe me it will help.

In addition, if your (or your husband's) place of work offers an Employee Assistance Program they may be able to get you any non-med help you need.



answers from Cincinnati on

Hi Karen! You've gotten some great responses on ways to cut costs on medication, etc. if you decide to go that route. Often, the combination of medication and therapy help a person significantly. By attending therapy, you could learn coping skills, relaxation techniques, and cognitive restructuring (changing the way you think about a situation) for dealing with your depression, anxiety, and mood swings. I just wanted to let you know that therapy isn't all about lying on a couch analyzing your childhood like it's sometimes portrayed. I think of therapy more as helping a person see and evaluate all their options as opposed to having tunnel vision and only looking at the negative side of life. You might want to see if there are any depression/anxiety support groups offered at any of your local mental health agencies as well. It's nice to attend these groups because then you know you're not the only one suffering from these symptoms. Also, these support groups are often free or much less expensive than one-on-one therapy sessions. Hope this helps!



answers from Cincinnati on

I went through the same thing after having my second child. I would just explode out of the blue. Then I had horrible guilt over treating my family in that way. My doctor put me on Zoloft and it really helped a lot. My family noticed a big difference. It made me feel like myself again. Don't feel bad about a medication that you need. You need to take it to correct an inbalance in your body. And definitely tell your doctor that you will have trouble affording the meds. He/She might know some ways around it such as giving you samples out of the office or putting you in touch with the pharmaceutical company.



answers from Cincinnati on

There's nothing wrong with taking meds when you are ill. Would you deny yourself chemo if you had cancer? Talk to your doctor, let him/her know your insurance situation. She may be able to hook you up with a lot of samples, especially while trying to figure out what works for you since you may need to try more than one med. Regarding a therapist, talk to them, too, about your insurance/financial situation. They will often charge on a sliding scale and/or make payment plans. Again, I urge you to get whatever treatment you need - you will only get worse if you don't and your current situation is making a negative impact on your family. You most likely are not able to "get through it" or make yourself better or you wouldn't have written this request because you would be well without any help from a third party. Please take care of yourself, for you and for your family!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions