Poor Baby - New York,NY

Honestly, I think I would have to make a call to child protective services and tell them exactly what you posted here. Do it anonymously if you feel more comfortable. That concerns me especially about the lack of formula,questionable breast milk, and low fat milk. A child MUST have whole milk for the second year of life. That fat provides pertinent brain development and function, not necessarily to put weight on the baby. Poor little thing!! Hope this helps.
A.

Hope somebody gets thru to that mom!
Can you show her pics of the starving children in some 3rd world countries?? They also have the "fat" bellies - distended due to lack of food - and some are so weak they can't even shoo a fly off themselves.

Even if you said anything, it probably wouldn't help. Children have died in the care of their well-meaning, but ignorant, vegan parents. (See: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/21/opinion/21planck.html) And it sounds doubly dangerous, since it appears your acquaintance has an eating disorder and is afraid to have a "fat" baby.

You need to consider making an anonymous call to the Dept. of Children & Family Services, so they can do a professional evaluation and make sure the baby is safe.

BTW, I have no issue with vegetarian/vegan parents, as long as they are informed and take steps to ensure the health of their children!

I agree.. call CPS (anonymously) and report it and call the pediatrician let them know your concerns (you don't have to give your name) and I promise they will take it VERY seriously. How bad would you feel if something happened to this little boy and you could have done something?

an 11 month old should not be given cow's milk just yet. that's MY opinion.

This mother needs help - in a SERIOUS way...not just for herself but for her child as well...if the child looks unhealthy - tell the mother that a child NEEDS fat on them as the first year they grow more than they do the rest of their lives (birth to one year - most inches in one year and weight)....so they NEED fat...i LOVE CHUNKY BABIES!!!

A child should NOT be withheld food...I don't like to say it- but call CPS or find out who her pediatrician is and state your concerns to them...especially if he is underweight...

GOOD LUCK!

The problem isn't so much that he might get a potential eating disorder, but that he is currently starving and not getting the nourishment he needs! I don't know what you can tell her. Maybe find information telling her that her baby needs whole milk or something with fats, because they are critical for a developing infant.

She won't like you for it, but, whatever.

Maybe you could work in some information about what you hear from your own doctor - like when she says she gives the baby skim milk act surprised and say something like, "our doctor told us to use whole milk until he's ___ " (I don't know I breast fed until 2.5 years) and then press her with something like "What did you doctor say?" Perhaps that would be a way you could open up a dialogue with her. To her comment about his belly say something like "what a great belly, I love the baby budda belly - too bad it disappears." Maybe she just needs someone or many someones to discuss the normalcy of baby bodies. Has she been in therapy for eating disorders? It does sound like she could be projected some body dysmorphic stuff onto her son (not cliniclally speaking).
Good luck to you and that baby

I agree with others. call cps. You have first hand knowledge that she is deliberately underfeeding her son and making him eat less than he should. As well as not eating what he needs to. Since she has an apparent eating disorder, of course she isnt going to see that what she is doing is harmful to him. Please make the call TODAY.

call cps or report her to her pedi!

This mom needs help. It sounds like she has an eating disorder that she's projecting onto her son. If she doesn't get help for her own benefit, she needs to get it for his. It also sounds like she hasn't gotten even basic infant nutrition education. A child under 12 mos. should NOT be having any kind of cow's milk, reduced fat or not, unless it's milk-based formula. And juice is actually really FATTENING for kids that age. Given her concerns, it's the last thing she wants to be giving him.

My SIL had a lot of mental health issues following the birth of her son, and she withheld needed nutrition from him. My nephew, who is now 3, is a wonderful little boy, but he has a lot of behavior problems around food. He will NOT sit at the table. If you strap him into a booster seat, he'll start throwing his food on the floor. This is causing problems at his preschool, since it starts the other kids doing the same thing. (The court eventually took custody away from my SIL, in part based on this feeding issue; your friend should know that.)

What you may want to mention in your friend's case, though, is that withholding nutrition can often cause the opposite reaction. Children can very easily develop a starvation mentality and become lifelong compulsive overeaters. Since that sounds like a nightmare scenario for your friend, I actually really recommend mentioning it to her. She needs to know that baby/toddlerhood is the time when we learn to recognize our satiation points. If she doesn't give her son a chance to stop when he's full NOW, he'll never learn how to do so, and he may overeat to extremes for the rest of his life.

In terms of calling CPS, I agree that that may be necessary, but it's also the "nuclear option." Before you do that, is it possible for you to work within your own network? Is there a pastor/priest/rabbi/imam/etc. who might be able to talk to your friend? If not, can you work with other mutual friends to stage an "intervention"? You may want to consult with a therapist who deals with eating disorders first. But if those options don't work, or aren't possible, then, yeah. I'd call CPS.

I disagree that it's 'not your business'. This woman is sick and is mistreating her baby. Hopefully her pediatrician will cue into the problem. If not, family members, (do you know any that you could talk to? It will eventually show in his lab work and there will be referrals for counseling and intervention. If that doesn't happen, there is always DYFS.

Sorry but it's hard to answer a question like this without hearing her side of the story, and knowing exactly how well her son is growing and thriving, even if he "looks" malnourished.
Some people equate fat babies with healthy babies and that's not always the case.
And um, no I wouldn't give an 11month old a whole banana, do you have any idea how big their tummies are at that age? Tiny!
I'm sorry he drinks a lot of juice (and cow's milk?!) but that's his mom's choice, not yours.
If I called CPS on every parent I thought was not providing their kids the proper nutrition, well sadly, I guess I would be on the phone a LOT :(

wow, I hope that baby's pediatrician knows about these concerns. That's really concerning.

Can you try something along the lines of giving her "the great new book on toddler nutrition" you recently discovered? A baby should be getting breastmilk or formula to 12 months and whole milk until age 2 (a pediatrician will confirm this). Babies and toddlers need the fat for brain and nerve development at that age. I'm not a fan of juice for kids under 2 , but that is just my opinion. BTW, my 2 year old eats pretty small portions so half a banana is probably okay as a portion size.

Wow, what a sad situation. It is, unfortunately, not your place to say anything, since what you're describing is ill-advised, but not abusive. Trying to get her to change her ways will probably not help either, since it will probably cause her to withdraw from you. The best advice I can give you is to perhaps try to help her with her own eating issues / obsessions in whatever way possible. If she gets healthy, then the baby will too. Hopefully she is taking her son to the pediatrician on a regular basis, and he/she is watching out for his health, should her feeding habits indeed become dangerous.

OMG Yes! I would talk to the baby father to. Maybe he does not see what is going on right in front his face. If he is in the picture. Its one thing when you have disorder, but to do this to a child is horrible. Its sounds like those parents who starve there children and you find out when its to late. Please talk to her. She needs to see how this is wrong.

I wouldn't agree that her breastmilk probably has very little nutrition and a vegetarian diet can be very healthy. Meat is not necessary for health and fat babies are not healthy babies. However, it sounds like she doesn't know all that much about nutrition for babies as he does not need juice and it's not good for him - fills up baby with almost no nutritional value, and he should continue on breast milk at least til 12 months, no cows milk til then, and it should be full fat milk til two years old (although my son had terrible constipation from it and went to 2% at 14 months when he was done breastfeeding). My question is, does this mom regularly take her baby to a pediatrician or family practice doctor? If the baby is seen regularly by a medical professional for typical well baby checkups, then his weight is monitored and if he is showing signs of being undernourished, the doctor will take the necessary steps including calling CPS if necessary. Things are not always what they appear to an occasional observer and you have said that you rarely see them.