Poll: Does Your Hubby Cook?

Updated on November 14, 2012
J.C. asks from Bronxville, NY
50 answers

My husband cooks absolutely nothing. He makes himself breakfast (a bagel or frozen waffles) and that is it. In the eleven years that we have been together, he has cooked breakfast for me like 4 times. Occasionally, he will grill something but I have to tell him what to do, hand him the utencils, etc. Then, he has the nerve to complain when I want to order in more than one night a week! And I alwasy have to make the call.

He always complains that he doesn't know how to cook. I remind him that as a woman, I was not born knowing how to cook. Nor did I follow my mother around the kitchen begging to help her cook. I can cook up a tasty meal, but I don't really like to. It's become somehting I just have to do. Wouldn't it be nice if he cooked something once a week. I'm talking even a dinner salad?

Just for added fun, I also do 100% of the food shopping and laundry and I work FT.

So, does your husband help with the cooking?

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So What Happened?

Have you ever seen a grown man cry? That's my husband in the supermarket. Or, he starts eating things. Like sushi.

I can barely get him to carry the laundry to the machine. I sort, wash, fold and bring upstairs and he just makes a giant pile in his closet. I've given up and have just added to his huge pile.

To give him some credit, he works about 60 hours a week. I work 40 but I have a 1.5 hour commute 4 days a week. So that is 46 hours out of the home and if you add all of the other stuff I do, that is way more than 60. Ughhhh. It just drives me crazy sometimes. Thanks for letting me vent!!

Featured Answers


answers from Washington DC on

yes, my husband cooks. He is an amazing cook too! He works a lot so on his days off (2 days a week) he will cook, and the other 5 days, I cook.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

Yes. He grills pretty regularly. In fact, whenever we are discussing what's for dinner (before I go to the store), if he will be home he almost always will offer: "I can grill something if you want." That leaves me to still come up with and make any and all appropriate side dishes... but not a big deal at all. And just grilling the meat--pshaww.. that is nothing. Stick it (steak, chicken, pork, whatever) in a gallon ziplock with worcestershire sauce and some Lawry's, then throw it on the grill. Voila! With a salad and fresh rolls on the side. :)

He used to scramble eggs for me when I was pregnant. But I had to put a stop to it... he apparently likes his cooked easy (not fully cooked!) and it was just disgusting as a nauseated pregnant woman. LOL

He also knows how to (and will) put a frozen pizza in the oven and use a pizza cutter. ;)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Yep - I'm a lucky lucky woman. My husband cooks dinner every night. He loves to cook. He works full time and I stay home - but he prefers to cook dinner, he says it relaxes him.

I can cook -- I have the ability, but not a gift. I do however love to bake, so if it's bread, cake, cookies or pie I'll take care of it. Anything else it's him.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Norfolk on

He's a great cook and likes to try out a new recipe every so often.
He's great at omlettes, waffles, pancakes, bacon, he does all the grilling, home made mac n cheese, chili, panini, salads., cakes, muffins, etc.
He's no slouch in the kitchen!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

My DH cooks maybe 2x per month, but will get take-out maybe 1 or 2x more per month. He's not a very good cook, so he sticks to maybe 3 dishes for dinner and that's it.

But.... he has said many times, after being a bachelor for years, that he appreciates it that I cook and that I'm willing to do it. And he has eaten some of my disasters with a generous heart (example: I made a giant pot of spaghetti sauce and it overcooked and the bottom burned. I wanted to throw it away, but he said, let's at least eat it once and see, and he made me laugh by calling it my "special dark pasta sauce", like the "special dark chocolate" candy bars because it was pretty dark... )

3 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

No my husband doesn't help with the cooking, he cooks. I cook too, I suppose sometimes we cook together. Like when we are making something with a lot of prep I will prep while he cooks.

We shop together, plan meals together. Tonight I will cook because I get home first, like two hours earlier than usual because I have to get the kids off the bus. We will be having talapia, corn meal breading, pan fried. Probably dirty rice. Tomorrow we will go out to dinner, maybe Thursday. Friday I cook, Saturday and Sunday he takes care of the meals. :)

I do do most of the cleaning, when I feel like it, if that helps.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

my husband makes waffles from scratch, and a spaghetti dinner with vegetable. Occasionally he makes a turkey sandwich. He is the grille guy so he does most all meat that we eat.

I'm a SAHM, and he works full time and owns his own business so works well over 40 hours a week. I don't care that he is not a cook. He can make a breakfast, lunch or dinner if need be. I agree one should be able to give spouse a once a week break.
Now however, if he needed me to take over bills for a while, I'm not even sure i could remember our password to our on-line banking. Sad but true.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Mine was like yours, although he could cook pancakes and eggs, and did grill sometimes. I also did all the shopping, laundry, and cleaning and worked FT. Now that he is my ex-husband, he cooks! at least sometimes. He still thinks microwavable meals or things from a box are dinner, and the take-out places like him.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

Yes.. he actually does more than I do, lol! He's not the greatest cook, but he does it. Our friend does most of the cooking for his wife too, he is an amazing cook!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

most of the men I know cook more then the women (my ex excluded).

my dad always did 99.9% of cooking thankfully for us
i did with my ex but my boyfriend cooks very well and enjoys it so he opts to pretty much every night or day (breakfast) we are home together
if i get home first i do though

-he makes fun of my cooking so serves him right to have to cook now=)
-i'm ussually his prep cook and we clean up together
my cousins husband cooks 100% of the time

I think some people are J. clueless so its easier for the other one to do it. why not give him laundry or food shopping??

also he can help you. as in you say chop up these veggies...please start this over here and it would be fun and in time he'd learn
they say people that cook together are happier

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Yes! He got really into cooking thanks to the show Good Eats. I can't complain!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Baton Rouge on

He had no choice in the matter. If he wanted to eat, he had to do his share of the cooking.
"I don't know how" didn't cut it. He managed to avoid starvation before we met.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

If anyone wants any type of meat......eggs.....or anything fancy.......My husband cooks it.

I do mainly vegetables, fruits and baking.

I will occasionally do a rice mix or fancy side.....but that is only when I am really bored.

I have such bad food related digestive issues, that I keep it simple...raw fruits and veggies......some grain, mainly gluten free...although I do cheat.

My kids luckily LOVE to eat what I do.........So it makes an apple, cheese and crackers...a nice healthy lunch:)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Albuquerque on

My husband is a great cook, but it's rare that he uses the skills. I do 95% of the day to day cooking in our house due to our schedules. He helps out for parties or weekend dinners.

If your husband doesn't know how and has expressed interest, help him out. Don't be judgemental. Just offer to cook with him a few times and show him what you do. Then let him give it a try, and if everything doesn't turn out perfect - don't mention it. Encourage him to keep trying.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on


In 11 years of marriage, same thing. He cooked maybe 4 times. They were all regrettable. Like when he baked a steak for 2 hours. Fortunately, I wasn't there for that one.

When we first separated, he actually moved in with another family. Not until he got a girlfriend who can cook (the first couple didn't) did he move out of the family's house.

It was so bad that he didn't eat for DAYS if I wasn't home (like when our son was in the hospital).

My exHusbabd is actually a genius... But there are certain things he just CANNOT do (like be a decent human being, but I digress). He can add water to cup noodles, and eat tuna out of a can. That's about it as far as his ability to cook goes. I tried in the beginning to teach him (whenever he had friends who cooked, he'd want to learn), but I refused to do THAT again after the first few times. I had a pot flung at my head once for "telling him what to do". Oy. (I told him to add water and turn it on high).

I loooooove cooking. But i'd go on strike a couple times a year. Just because I was tired of if. I cooked 4x a day. I'd just burn out.

So we'd eat cereal & sammies.

My ex complained, I told him he was WELCOME to either cook or order out. He wasn't even willing to order out. :P

When I was working, I ordered pizza every Thursday. I didn't realize this until I DIDN'T for 2 weeks. The second week Paggliaci's. Sent. A. Driver. Over. To. Make. Sure. We. We're. Okay.


Note to self: time to stop ordering so much pizza! (At that point I began altering between pizza and Cuban)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Give him one night a week to cook something simple and easy to take the load off of you. Give him a few things that he could cook that you feel like eating. Like spaghetti is easy, surely he could manage.

I enjoy cooking, so I do the majority of cooking in our home, but sometimes it's been a hard day etc, so I will ask my husband to cook dinner and he is good about doing it, and finding something that we all want to eat. And makes breakfast for us on Saturdays too when he can.

Also, we like to cook together when we can, so that we can catch up and talk about our days and joke about what crazy things happened. Its a nice way of relaxing together, and getting things done at the same time.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

We both cook. I usually plan out meals for the week and whoever gets home first starts dinner.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

I do all the cooking....

He does most of the dishes!!!

This all makes me very happy :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I've always done a majority of the cooking but only because when I worked I got home first and now I'm a SAHM.

Having said that, I think he's bored w/my meals (he & SD a wee bit picky) so he's been cooking a few things on the weekends. He can definitely cook but it's a choice.

I hated cooking so I never learned. My mom tried to teach me but I refused. When I started dating, all the men cooked. Not one of them said "Hmm, you don't know how to cook, I won't marry you. " They all figured I would learn and I did. I like it now.

All a matter of timing and "wanting to".

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband does not help. We share the work. He cooks - very well actually. Before DS was born, we cooked dinner together pretty much every night. Now we switch off fairly equally. Have you tried talking to your husband about these jobs belonging to both of you. You both work full time, you should be contribute equally to the home.

I do all the laundry (I enjoy it, he doesn't). He empties the dishwasher and cleans the gutters. We food shop equally.

Maybe you guys could try enrolling in some cooking classes together. I think it would be fun. Also many places like Whole Foods and Williams Sonoma offer cooking classes/demos that are often free.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

My husband heats things. If it can be placed in the oven without doing anything to it he will do it. He will also does some prep for tacos but our oldest son does a lot of the cooking.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

No, my husband does not cook. He also doesn't shop for groceries, clean, do laundry, yard work, or anything else for that matter unless I nag him.

The funny thing is that his father is a great cook. His dad has always been a domestic goddess to some extent--I think he picked up alot from being in the Marines. I don't know why my husband didn't inherit those domestic traits!:)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Redding on

I haven't been married in a very long time, but when I was, yes, my husband cooked.

I cooked during the week and he did all the cooking on weekends. It was a pretty nice trade-off.

I'm a good cook, but I don't LOVE doing it. It seems more laborious to me.
I believe the best thing I ever did was teach my son how to cook, and do it well. He has a love for it.

I know many couples where the husband does the cooking because the wife isn't good at it or hates doing it. He cooks, she cleans. It works for them.

When my son gets married, he will never be able to fall back on the excuse that he doesn't know how to cook. Nor will he ever have to rely on a woman to feed him. EVERYONE, male or female, should know how to prepare food whether they like doing it or not.

Not sure how that helps you other than trying to get him to cook WITH you or the deal is.....you cook and he cleans.

Just my opinion.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

When we were dating my husband cooked for me all the time. Little did I know he was just wooing me, LOL!
Ever since I became a full time SAHM I have done 99% of the cooking.
Usually I don't mind it, but a few years back I decided Sunday night would be "dad's night." I just said, honey I'm not cooking on Sunday night anymore, that's YOUR night now.
He still gets most of the weekend to relax, and I get ONE meal that I don't need to think about or prepare for!
Try it! If nothing else I'm sure he can manage a frozen pizza and a bagged salad ;-)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Yes. He has no choice as I am frequently not home for dinner. He learned early on in our marriage that he, too, can cook a basic meal. He cooks dinner 1-2 nights a week, makes elaborate breakfasts, and is the king of outdoor cooking. He cooked for several outdoor parties this summer - we had smoked pork shoulder and ribs at one, a clam bake done in a turkey fryer at another, grilled prime rib at another, and a smoked turkey a few weeks ago. He cooks a ton of shellfish and other seafood that I don't eat.

I do the main grocery shopping and meal planning and then he sneaks in side trips to Whole Foods where he buys things we don't need and can't afford. He does the laundry, and we both work FT.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Absolutely. In fact, around here, it's more like I "help" with the cooking. I take care of whoever is here when DH is not, but unless I get a wild hair I usually don't cook. He likes to cook and he's frankly better at it. We usually either trade shopping or shop together. I would ask him to come along and pick out something he'd like to eat and make. My FIL is now the primary cook and he prefers frozen meals, like Stouffer's. If my 80+ yr old FIL can learn a few things, so can anybody.

The flip side is that if he takes up a night, you need to let him have it. No meddling. No "helpful tips". No complaining that it's frozen lasagna...again. But it sounds like you can manage that. :)

Oh, and our rule is whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up, so I do most of the dishes.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Sometimes, but I actually really enjoy cooking. It's relaxing for me and my 4 yr old son loves to help, so it's time for us together. If I'm not home (I travel several times a year for work), he will make a balanced dinner for them and they do not resort to take-out unless it's a treat and usually it's out for breakfast.

In our house, I cook Sunday-Thursday. He's in charge of Friday night. He can make dinner or do takeout. I don't care either way, but he makes the call and picks it up. If the weather is nice, he'll pick up something to put on the grill (including veggies) and grill. Saturdays are FFY nights in our house... Fend For Yourself involves pulling out leftovers and random 1/2 bags of things in the freezer and we eat whatever is there!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boston on

Wow, that is rough. My husband is really the sole cook in the house and thank goodness because I am really not a good cook. He also does the food shopping and some laundry. We have the chores split up because most of the childcare falls on me, laundry and I do clean up the kitchen after he cooks. Both of us work FT.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Hubby is an excellent cook. He didn't cook when we met, but in my family, everyone cooks, so hubby learned how to cook.



answers from San Diego on

Don't I wish!!! Nope, my hubby is pretty much like yours. I also do all the shopping and work full time. Right now Hubby is not even working.



answers from Dallas on

I have the best guy ever! He cooks...absolutely loves to cook! We take turns in the kitchen or cook together when schedules allow. If I work late, dinner is waiting for me when I walk in the door. If he cooks, I clean the kitchen. If I cook, he cleans. He also cleans the house. If he sees me cleaning, he joins in the fun without me having to ask him. He will go grocery shopping with me if I ask him to do so. He does the yard work and any other thing needed to be done around the house. Further, he will offer me a full body massage after we're done with our chores. Yes, I'm spoiled!


answers from Columbia on

My husband cooks the basics. Spaghetti, burgers, pork chops....simple stuff that doesn't really require more than 4-5 ingredients. He's very willing to learn more.

He will help with anything. He loves to go grocery shopping with me (but often does it on his own), does more laundry than me, makes the bed, does dishes, helps the kids with homework, takes them places...

While I was away for 2 months at an Army school, he did it all. Even got the kids enrolled in school, went school shopping, bought their school clothes, and did everything that was needed to keep things running. He's a wonderful man. ♥

Many women think their husbands are lazy or inept. Perhaps, ladies, the problem is that you haven't much faith in your husband's abilities to get along without you. Trust me...he can. You just have to show him that you are confident in his abilities, and he will rise to the occasion.

If he doesn't....well then, he must be my ex. Divorce him immediately.



answers from Detroit on

No. I don't either. We have mostly cereal or fresh produce all day long, and microwave meat or thaw shrimp.



answers from Portland on

My sweetie doesn't cook with care, but he can cook. The first time we got together was over business, and he totally rocked me by having a lovely omelet breakfast sitting warm on the table when I arrived. I married him on the spot. (Well, not quite, but he sure got my attention!)

Well, he does occasionally throw a meal together if I'm feeling ill or exhausted, but he does so without much care or attention. I make double meals a couple of times a week so he can warm up nice leftovers. But he's tender and attentive toward me, and really does his share around the house in other ways, often taking on the tasks that I like least, so it works out for us. He also usually takes over kitchen cleanup if I did the cooking.


answers from Dallas on

He isn't home in time for dinner during the week very often, but he cooks a bunch on the weekends so that we will have food to heat up during the week. Our almost 15yo son cooks a bunch, too.

My husband also does the shopping with me every week and loves it. I don't enjoy it much, but he thinks it's tons of fun. :) He also does laundry and dishes regularly, keeps the boys' bathroom clean, and mops the floors. I think I'll keep him! :)

Both boys help with all of the cleaning, too.



answers from New York on

Mine cooks what I'd call "guy food." Lots of grilling. Stir fries. His idea of cooking dessert is taking the top off the ice cream container. Which is funny because he's not a stereotypical "guy guy." At least not when it comes to thing like sports -- he is sort of a computer whiz. His meals are much more meat-oriented than mine (I have to remind him that spinach pasta is not a vegetable), but I can't complain because he DOES cook. He's also good about straightening up and keeping things organized, though I do most of the actual clean cleaning. But I don't think I can complain.


answers from Grand Forks on

I do most of the cooking because I like to cook, and because I only work part-time. My husband can cook if he needs to. He actually taught me how to cook a turkey! He is a much better breakfast cook than I am, so he does all of our holiday and some of our weekend breakfasts. I do all of the laundry and the grocery shopping, because I like it done my way.



answers from Stationed Overseas on

Sounds like no one taught him how to fend for himself. Sorry that must suck. My hubby will cook, clean, do laundry, change diapers, feed the kids, give baths etc, etc. I just have to ask him to do it. He'll cook on the weekends. The only thing that drives me nuts is I'll ask him what he would like for dinner and he'll just say 'I don't know you pick'. Grr I pick every night just once I would like him to pick. Maybe you could teach him to cook or do it together and make it fun, have the kids help too it could be a great learning experience for everyone. Something like tacos. Someone could cook the meat, someone could chop the veggies, someone could put the fixins in different bowls. I do have a big rule about laundry, if it isn't put in the laundry basket then it doesn't get washed. Hubby learned that lesson the hard way when he ran out of socks several times during our first year of marriage.


answers from Santa Fe on

Yes my husband cooks but not as often as I do. The biggest reason is the kids are starving by 5:30 and I am home so I can get dinner started. That is right about the time he gets home. As I'm finishing up dinner he'll make a salad or whatever needs to be done. But some nights and/or weekends he cooks dinner. He has his specialties...a delicious breakfast fritata that I LOVE, grilling salmon and chicken, a thai shrimp dish, waffles on the weekend, butternut squash soup, a christmas breakfast sweet bread. He tends to stick to what he knows but every now and then he tries a new recipe. The only way to learn to cook is to start reading recipes and following along. Your husband could learn to cook if he wants to, he just does not want to! If it were me I'd give him one night a week where he has to cook dinner. Go through some easy recipes with him and have him pick something. That's silly to be an adult and never cook. It's also crazy he does not ever do laundry or grocery shopping...I'm sorry! What a pain!



answers from Honolulu on

Yes, my Husband cooks. He can cook. And he is good at it.
But, he does not cook, often.
He cooks every blue moon.

He does not complain about what I cook.
He likes my cooking as does my kids.

If your Husband is so whiney about it, then geez, he can learn.
Its not hard.

2) My Husband will also do the food/grocery shopping. That is my most hated "chore." But fortunately, my Husband will do it when I don't want to.
I can't stand grocery shopping but do it anyway.

I do most everything in this house.
But Hubby does pitch in. As does my kids since they have their "chores" too. We make it a "family" thing. Not about pointing fingers at each other.

Now, to me personally... it does NOT matter, how many hours a person works or not, in or out of the house and therefore that decides who does what chore in the house and how many chores.
TO ME, the point is: EVERYONE IS A PART OF THE FAMILY. EVERYONE lives in the house. The kids, are BOTH of yours. Therefore, EVERYONE HAS TO do something in the house for its DAILY upkeep and maintenance AND doing child upkeep and help, too.
NO one, is a hotel guest in their own home.
Therefore, EVERYONE in a family... is RESPONSIBLE to help and DO things, in and for, the home and family. Regardless, of gender.


answers from Iowa City on

Yes, my husband cooks from time to time. I do most of the cooking but if I don't feel like it, he will do it. Or if there is something specific he wants made he will usually just add the items to my grocery list and then make it.

If I make a pie he has to roll out the dough. I can't roll a circle to save my life. It always comes out looking like Africa.


answers from Spokane on

Yes! I wouldn't be ok with him not ever cooking.

Right now he works swing shift and is only home Tuesday and Wednesday evening ~ he cooks both of those nights. He makes lunch for our 4 y/o both days (after he picks him up from pre-school) and when he is on day shift (not very often) he helps with dinner almost nightly. In the summer he grills every night he can and I take care of the inside stuff.

In fact, he is cooking our Thanksgiving turkey this year and doing all the grocery shopping for me once I get him my list.

We both work full-time (with a ton of O.T. for him) so we try our best to help each other out any chance we can.

Oh, and he does all our laundry in the am before he goes to work then what he has gotten done gets folded and put away in the evening by me.



answers from Dallas on

He grills about once every 2 weeks if I fix everything that goes on the grill including merinades. He has made himself breakfast all these 25 yrs.
Not an egg or anything other than microwave or toaster.

My son was in Russia when he learned to put to use the cooking skills I taught him. He got pretty good. A kid in the dorm called him Martha Stewart.

The other son can do pretty well with what he likes, such as homemade biscuits and gravy.

They won't starve or marry for food!



answers from New York on

If my DH were on Mamapedia, his screen name wouldn't be "CookingDad". It's not his thing and he doesn't enjoy it, however, he is pretty good with making breakfast for DD during the week and for all of us on Sunday mornings before I have to run out for church band rehearsal. He can handle cooking up some eggs, making some toast and maybe heating up some sausage. He is a master at the grill if I prepare the meat/fish/chicken. He cooks things to perfection on that thing.

I do all the grocery shopping (he might pick up some cases of bottled water or medicines from CVS). I cook dinner for us almost every night of the week. We might get takeout once a month and we might go out once a month. Other than that, it's the CookingMom show. My DH and DD are very appreciative of my cooking skills and help with clean up often. I just started working a PT job and I'm adjusting, but I pretty much do 80% of the laundry, cleaning (with help from DD) and general household things. DH pays the bills which I appreciate because I'm not good with numbers. He tends to wash most of his own clothes for no reason in particular except his hamper is full.

DH and I try to divide up the household work by what we both are skilled at and like to do. I don't mind doing the laundry if someone else puts it away. I don't mind cooking and cleaning up if someone else empties the dishwasher. He hates cleaning bathrooms, but he will do it in a pinch (especially if we're having company and I'm doing extra cooking). He works more hours than I do and he has a bad neck and back. He's in pain at the end of most days and I try to be sensitive to that. I get migraines and he's sensitive to that. I try really hard to not be too tired for "adult time" on a regular basis. He knows if he helps out a little, I won't be too tired (hee, hee).

Long story short, we try to serve the other whenever possible. We try not to be selfish & that works for us. Maybe there are things that your DH can do for you - things that you don't particularly like doing?



answers from Binghamton on

My husband loves to come into the kitchen and tell me how to cook. Drives me nuts, mostly because he is a better cook than I am. But he does a lot of the cooking when his schedule allows.


answers from Seattle on

My husband cooks most meals and usually cleans the kitchen. I do most of the laundry, I clean the floors, I clean the bathrooms, and help the kids clean their room. If I had to do the cooking, we'd all starve.



answers from Bloomington on

My husband does most of the cooking.



answers from Dallas on

DH is a chef. So yes, he does alot of the cooking.



answers from Washington DC on

Mine does almost every night.

But why should your husband cook, when you are always his safety net? Have you considered just *not* cooking? Make yourself a sadnwich and let him be on his own. He's not feeling very many consequences of not cooking if you're always there to bail him out, or be his secretary and phone in the order.



answers from Chicago on

My hubby hates to cook. He can cook a few things, but I'm the primary chef by far in our house. It's not a skill of his at all.

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