We've exchanged gifts with our friends for several years. We are still good friends but our kids have reached the age where they are drifting to their own interests plus their oldest is a girl and my oldest is a boy. We're really tight on money this year and just can't add another family to our budget but I don't really want them to know either that part of the reason we are backing out is money.Whats a nice way to drop the hint or tell the mom out right that we won't be doing that this year?
Thanks! I sent an email just saying that we have a tight budget this year and if they are interested in doing a pizza night over the school break or something we should plan on that. I'm sure she'll be understanding (and maybe even a little bit relieved). I just needed the courage to say it!
Can you suggest switching awesome cookies or food? If not then just be blunt and say "this is a bit random but I am sorry we just can't do the gift exchange this year" Something tells me this person won't ask why and if they do then it seems greedy or nosy. Luckily most people try not to be that way.
"We love you guys, but we just can't afford it this year. We've had to downsize our gift giving. I hope you understand."
What's wrong with being honest that the reason you aren't doing the exchange is that money is short? It's the truth, and the truth is the easiest to tell and the easiest to believe. Ditch your pride and tell the truth.
We did this a while ago with our friends. We simply said - everyone is always so busy, and the best gift is spending time together. Instead of exchanging presents, can we all just get together for a dinner instead? We are happy to host.
And now, instead of presents, we have a lovely tradition of a Christmas dinner at our house with our friends (and everyone contributes a dish, and it's a few days before Christmas, not on the holiday itself when everyone is with family).
Just do it early-- "hey our family is doing cookies for Christmas presents this year. Which does your family prefer--chocolate chip or oatmeal raisin?" This parlays what you will be doing and gives them a chance to alter their expectations in a friendly way.
And you know, Christie Lee is right-- I've had friends who were obviously going through a tough time financially -- we've never judged that. One girlfriend is broke right now-- I'm going to still give her something special, because she's special to me and has given me some very nice things in the past. I don't expect anything in return from her other than a hug. :)
Ditto Christy Lee. Be honest, it can't hurt. A lot of times you'll find people understanding and eager to help - even if you don't want it. I don't see a problem with saying it just won't work this year. Maybe they are feeling a pinch too and are also too shy. If they are as good of friends as I think they are, they will understand.
"I know we typically exchange gifts, but this has been a hard year and we have to cut back. I hope you understand that we are unable to exchange gifts this year."
It will be harder if you don't give some sort of reason.
OR I like the idea to just have a get together, but I think you need to specify you want the gift of their TIME instead.
Truth always works best.
I'd just be honest with your friend. Who knows, maybe she's thinking the same thing but doesn't want to tell you.
If you decide to do something simple, I love the other posters ideas of exchanging a baked good or a plate of cookies. I recently found a fun idea for a "tape ball" that could easily be adapted into a holiday grab bag for the kids. I've included the link below with a clear description of the idea. http://imacubmasterwhatnow.blogspot.com/2012/03/tape-ball... I was thinking you could individually wrap little items and put them in a plastic bin for the kids to grab from as the game goes on.
Good luck and happy holidays!
"Hi friend, hubby and I were talking about Christmas this year and we've decided we're not doing it for anyone other than our kids. I'm sorry we're not going to be able to do gifts with you guys this year."
Explain more if you want but if they're just acquaintances it really doesn't matter. If they're friends they know what is going on and should be the ones calling you and letting you off the hook.
Just say that this year you and your family have decided to do something different that focuses less on the expectation of gifts. Tell them that instead of exchanging gifts you are planning to make a donation to a charity chosen by your family. You could say that you are trying to teach the kids a lesson on true giving. However, if you exchange gifts with other mutual friends...then this family might find out.
Don't bring it up. If they ask say that you are looking to do things differently this year or do a home baked treat for the family
I think that you bring it up before they do--like casual convo--and tell them that you are at a point with your kids where you want to teach some specific lessons, maybe based on things that have come up with your kids over the past year. I think that giving them a heads up in this case would leave a better taste than waiting until the last minute when they've already got their minds and their gifts set on you. If you do decide to do something else more specific--like some charity event--then you can invite them to share the experience, as a courtesy since your families tend to stay connected during this time. Don't move on drastically from them. Ease out of it, and leave the door open for shared holidays in the future.
What Mynewnickname said!
I had a friend do this to me. We had been exchanging gifts via mail and she told me that things were a little tight and they wouldn't be able to exchange gifts. It really wasn't a big deal and it was a relief to me as well. It's OK to be honest and the need to adhere to a budget is a better excuse than "we don't have much in common anymore." Good-luck.
I would just say we are cutting back this year.
