Please Let Me know......I'm Waiting for Your Responses

Updated on February 28, 2011
S.A. asks from Middleton, WI
18 answers

Yesterday I posted a question about babysitting.I am a housewife & baby sitting 4 months old baby.Its not a day care centre but baby's parents know us for a long time & mom herself ask me to babysit her daughter & she said, I'll pay you 150$/week whether or not baby comes,day care centres in my area charge 263/week..Last whole week baby was on vacation with the parents & now her mom did'nt pay me any thing for the last week.Please please let me know whta should I do ,should I ask her to pay me or just let it go.She herself decided this that she is going to pay me, regardless baby comes or not, in the begining when I started to babysit her daughter from jan 10 2011.

PLEASE RESPOND TO MY QUESTION AS IT MATTERS A LOT TO ME.
THANK YOU SO MUCH

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

I agree that moving forward - even though this is friendly and informal - you all write out the terms of service.
If she agreed she'd pay you even on vacation - she should. If I were you I would possibly mention it to her when she pays for the next week. "Hey sue, I just wanted to let you know there is still $150 outstanding balance from the week of XX. Do you want to include it in full or do you want to pay it out over two weeks?" If she acts shocked or offended simply remind her you were working off her guidelines of service and then suggest to avoid any more miscommunications you all write it down so you both fully understand;)
Good luck!

4 moms found this helpful

T.B.

answers from Bloomington on

When she said, " I'll pay you 150$/week whether or not baby comes" she probably meant if she misses a day or 2 a week she'll still pay for the whole week. BUT, at a daycare center, you can't just take a week off without paying... So, it's really up to you whether you want to stir the pot. If you ask her to pay, she may get upset and find other arrangements. You just have to weigh the pros and cons of whether it is worth it to mention it or not!
If it were me, I would not mention it unless it was stated in a contract.

2 moms found this helpful

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J.R.

answers from Miami on

Dear S., I am sorry for your dilemma and your frustration. Some thoughts to help you decide:
1. I would first simply ask for the money matter of factly. Like it was not even a question. Something like: 'I hope you enjoyed your vacation. Do you want to pay me the 150$ for last week now, or combine it with this week's pay at the end of the week..."

2. If she refuses, you can add. I am confused: "we had an oral understanding, an oral contract, that I would be paid whether or not the baby was with me..."

3. I would be firm and keep repeating the above, without emotion...

4. Depending on her reaction and other factors, you only can decide if you want to continue to work with her.

5. Where I live, we pay up front for day or home care. I would thus, from now on, ask for 2 weeks up front, twice a month.

6. I would also consider writing up a contract with this or any future families....for many reasons.

Best of Luck,
Jilly

6 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I would assume she meant she would pay you 150 bucks a week even if her kid didnt show up one or two days out of that week. I dont think it would be right to collect 150 bucks for a week that you did not watch the child.
And, if it were me, if the child didnt show up a couple of days out of the week I would probably not collect for that either as long as she gave you prior notice that she didnt need your service. She's paying you for the insurance that you will continue to watch her child, that's all fine and good, but unless you have a contract stating she's going to pay you even when you dont watch the child, you are better off to not charge for services that were not rendered. That would be the "fair" thing.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think you are entitled to be paid. That was your agreement and she most likely gets paid for vacation time. Also the $263 daycare would make her pay whether the baby was there or not. She is already getting a bargain! Also, I like Jilly613 response on what to say.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

You need to always have a contract drawn up and signed any time you enter into a paid/work situation for someone. Most care providers -regardless of whether it's a daycare/preschool, in-home care, etc. charge per month, semester, year or whatnot and if you decide to take a vacation and take your kid out for a week -you still have to pay unless there is proof another arrangement was agreed upon. At this point, all you can do is ask for the pay and remind the person that she said she would pay you regardless of whether the child was there or not. If you want to keep her though, you probably shouldn't push it, but let her know that you now have a provider contract that all children's parents must sign who you care for. You can stipulate in the contract that unless it's previously agreed upon, you are to be paid regardless of whether the child is there. This mother would have to pay any daycare center or preschool she was using, but she probably won't pay you without a signed agreement.

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

YOU HAVE A VERBAL CONTRACT-
In Wisconsin : Three Elements of a Verbal Contract

In order to be considered valid, a verbal contract must contain three elements: offer, acceptance, and consideration.

• Offer: The person making the offer in a verbal contract must communicate their intent to enter into a contract. A verbal contract is not considered valid if all parties do not agree to the terms of the offer. Also, verbal contracts are only valid for a specified period of time and not indefinitely.

• Acceptance: A verbal contract is not valid until the offer is accepted. The acceptance of a verbal contract occurs when the person to whom the contract is offered voluntarily indicates agreement to its terms and conditions.

• Consideration: In addition to an offer and acceptance, verbal contracts must contain consideration. This means that each side must give the other something of value for the agreement to be binding. In most verbal contracts, this is an exchange of money, such as a down payment. However, in some cases, it is not money but a promise that is exchanged.

She told you she would pay you even when the baby didn't show-you promised to be available for her in consideration for $150/wk and she made an offer/promise-ask her when you can expect to be paid for the week the baby was away. She needs you more than you need her! You can figure out how to get another client fairly quickly-she has to invest a lot of time and effort into finding someone else that she trusts with her child-and in the meantime, what is she going to do-leave the baby home alone?

3 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Anyone that doesn't know that a verbal contract is a contract is ignorant. I get so tired of seeing responses like at least one below. Babysitting is just a term. It's a negative term in my book because so many people seem to look at babysitters as the lowest of the low in society. But, I know a lot of good caregivers that like being called a babysitter and still get paid per their contracts whether or not the contract is in writing or verbal. I only do verbal contracts because I have NO DESIRE to sue anyone.

My parents pay me for all 52 weeks per year UNLESS they are part-time. If they are part-time they do NOT have guaranteed availability. If I decide that their schedule isn't working out or find someone with a better schedule, I would let my part-timers go. I have never done that in 24 years because I rather enjoy some of my part-time situations. BUT, if a part-time parent wants to know for certain I will always value them highly, they have no problem with paying me at least for a min # of days. We usually choose 2 days per week as the minimum # of days. One mom though only needs me on Saturdays or Sundays so we do a min of 2 days for the month. If she doesn't need me, she sends me a check anyway.

It's all about respect. She offered, she needs to keep her word. Who needs a friend or a boss or a client that is a liar?

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

If you don't have anything in writing (contract) with the family then you don't have a reason to ask for the money. It's not daycare, it's babysitting and as a result, she doesn't need to pay you for time that you are not working.

If your expectation is that you will be paid during their vacation time (which seems unreasonable considering the fact that you don't have "staff" to pay while they aren't there), then you need to have a meeting with the parents and outline your agreement in writing.

Just FYI... we have a contract with our daycare provider that specifically outlines the fact that we have to pay her if my son is out b/c we are on vacation or he is sick b/c she runs a licensed home daycare and has to pay her two assistants whether my son is there or not, which is completely legitimate. She also has "overhead" costs- food for the children, cleaning and maintenance supplies, etc- also legitimate. If you are watching an infant in your home and are being paid in cash (not paying taxes on the income), then you are a babysitter being paid "per diem" and they are under no obligation to pay you when they are not using your services.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.L.

answers from Topeka on

If there is no contract written up BYE BYE money she hasn't paid you yet she isn't going to, yes bring it up & see what she has to say about her agreement to pay you regardless if baby is being watched by you or not.Your not running this as a daycare so she has found a way around not paying you & paying you much less than a daycare,she suggested the $150.00 a week because she knows how much day care centers cost.
Possibly she willl just pay you this week including last weeks if not then you need to decide if you trust her on paying you on days she doesn't bring baby & on days you do watch baby if you count on this as income continue to baby sit but I wouldn't without some sort of agreement in writing

1 mom found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Please get your agreements in writing. It doesn't ensure that both parties will honor it, but it gives you some credibility in small claims court.

If she has committed to paying you weekly, regardless of 'if' baby comes, then she needs to honor that committment. If you continue to provide care for her and she doesn't pay, that is your choice, however I believe you will be setting a precedent that it is okay for her not to honor her promises. If it were me, I'd be very clear that I could not provide care until I was paid in full, and thatI would be happy to resume care when she resolves this issue.

And I'll just add this: I've been working in childcare for 19+ years and have learned the hard way why contracts are important. They generally lay out the agreed-upon terms for the care provided and what it entails, scheduled hours, rates of pay and schedule of payment. Many women are hesitant to ask for a signed agreement from clients/families, because they feel that this should be a more 'familial' type relationship. This is NOT one's family, this is a business. Some women think that insisting on a contract makes them seem to be a 'b*t**', but I think most people appreciate the transparency and clear communication. Anyone who tries to talk you out of it is likely trying to take advantage of you (financially, emotionally), because people on the up and up might ask for some negotiation, but they will sign the papers. I also have a liability waiver (which protects me from accidents beyond the scope of neglect), emergency consent forms and emergency contact lists/info. So, there is some other information to think about, too.

H.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Victoria on

I have a few questions...Did you give up going to work part time some where else to stay home and babysit for this friend? If so, then I would talk with her and explain that you agreed to the oral contract based on you getting a weekly paycheck regardless of you watching her child or not.

If you never had intention of working outside the home and stay home regardless and you did not have to make any special considerations for the child not being at your home, then I would let it go. i personally couldn't take money for not having performed some type of service.

Now I would feel differently if the child was missing a day during the week for being sick etc... Cause then you were planning on the child being with you and thus you didn't make plans for yourself in lieu of babysitting, so she should have to pay if though you didn't provide a service per se, the planning of providing the service prevented you from enjoying the day as you normally would. So the money would be compenstaion for your inconveinance.

I don't see the week of vacation as that though cause they had to have told you they were going to be gone that week and thus you could make plans for the week as you normally would. unless they informed you that Monday morning, then I would want pay for that day at least.

I would want some type of notice so that your plans are not affected, but full pay for a whole week in your situation seems a bit much. Day cares get it because they are not able to make other plans if your child doesn't show....they care providers still have to be there regardless and the fees they charge for a full class is how they cover their operating costs, but since you really don't have that, it is a different situation.

So unless her plans have prevented you from doing things you normally would, I don't think you are entitled to compensation. My opinion and I would definately try and work up a written contract if you have any intentions of doing this long term. Perhaps negotiate terms regarding vacation, like a 5 day notice required for no compensation otherwise, if only 3 days notice, then 2 days of compensation will be given, etc.. Sick days are to be compensated regardless of notice. Parents are to provide any baby proofing items requested for the safety of their child and will be returned once no longer needed. State exactly what will happen in case of an emergency, such as you being taken ts o the hospital unexpectedly or if the child is for any reason taken. i would have the child's allergies documented, so there is no question as to wether or not you were aware of any. If you are asked to give medication at any time, I would require them to give you that notice in writing and not trust verbal. There are reasons that day care centers do this! Have they okayed you taking infant on errands around town with you? or do they ask that you not leave the premises? Have they given you permission to bathe the baby if say she gets covered in baby food once older, or do they ask that you only baby wipe her down? Do you have their permission to take the baby for a walk?

I know you trust these people cause you have known them a long time, but the relationship changes when money changes hands!!

What is to happen when you go on vacation? or are sick?

Oh & have you discussed taxes? will she be giving you a 1099 at the end of the year so she can write off child care monies?

1 mom found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

if you are getting paid under the table - then don't ask - you are lucky you are getting an income and not paying taxes on it - am I assuming this correctly?

If you have nothing in writing - and only her word - then you are going to have to decide if you want to continue to care for her child. Keep in mind though - that if someone complains that you are running a business out of your home and do not have a license to do so - you could be facing a boat load of trouble.

Friends or no - you are operating a business from your home. If you want to continue to watch her child, then you need to put it in writing and get the required child care license in your state - insurance and all. That way - if something happens while she is in your care - you can't lose everything.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.D.

answers from Kansas City on

Yes, she should pay. You had a verbal contract. Whether in a center or a home, you are now counting on that money since she said "whether he is there or not." Most daycares I know of require you to pay even if the child is on vacation. All payments are due the first day of the week, or the first day back from vacation. SOME daycares will allow a certain number of sick or vacation days after you are with them for an extended period of time and you are in good standing. For example, after six months or a year, she gets two (or three, or however many) days free sick or vacation days.

The only exception is if she said something IN THE BEGINNING, like "we will be vacationing during the week of February 21" and that she would not pay you that week as part of the verbal contract. Otherwise, she should pay since you are expected to be available for her. The contract is you are available to her for childcare, and she is paying for that service. You were available last week, right?!

Now, how to go about requesting that money, I have no clear advice for you. Find a tactful, non-emotional way to bring it up and don't let it go without a concrete answer. If you decide to bring it up, prepare for any outcome. Will she say nevermind then? Are you okay with that? Do you need the money? Maybe you should say something like, "Going forward, I need to know what to expect. Can we draft something in writing?"

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Just let it go. These are friends. I know she said she would pay you , so she should, but its not worth bringing it up and causing problems. She was probably thinking along the lines of if baby doesn't come every day in a week she'll still pay you the full amount, but since baby didn't come at all I can see why she didn't pay you. You got a week off, just look at it that way.

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D.S.

answers from Houston on

she may have run short on funds cause of vacation give her a week before mentioning it after all the baby didnt come right. so why ask to get paid for work you didnt do. if she was serious about paying you she will pay you wether he is there or not but gvie her a week in case funds ran short.

K.V.

answers from Lansing on

I know with my daycare lady, if I give her advance enough of notice, I do not have to pay for a week of vacation. I get 2 weeks a year of not having to pay daycare (1 week is her week, and I have to find different daycare and 1 week is mine to choose). Also, if my child isnt there 3 consecutive days because of being sick, I have to provide a doctors note and I do not have to pay then either.

I would ask her about it, but not be pushy or mad. If she doesn't pay, she doesn't pay (If you are that good of friends, you would have known way in advance they were going on vacation). Don't let it ruin your friendship.

L.W.

answers from Detroit on

If it happens again how are you going to feel? do you feel she should honor what she said or is it no big deal? If you are friends maybe you can simply mention to her that you wanted to know in the future were you going to handle the week off like she suggested? and you are only asking so that you 2 stay on the same page.

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