our 20 month old bed time was always 8 or 830 since he was 8weeks. now he goes to bed at 10 sometimes 1020. that seems way too late for his age...not to mention that was our time to do things we couldnt do while spending time with him. please dont think im selfish here! however tonight i want to try putting him in by 9.
do you think i should just lay him in bed and see if he goes to sleep. how can go about changing his bed time.
thanks!
I learned this early on.
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE a massage at bedtime.
My 4 1/2 year old now brings me the lotion and "assumes the position." He ALWAYS crashes faster and sleeps longer. It's worth a try and costs nothing. :)
You're going to have to move it back bit by bit. Maybe 10 minutes earlier each night so his body adjusts.
Also, not that you asked for an opinion on it, but I think even 8:30 or 9:00 is quite late for his age. Kids this age typically need 11-12 hours of sleep at night plus one nap of around 1.5 - 2 hours. His best sleep will come if he is sleeping by 7:30 each night. Sleep begets sleep and sometimes the more tired they are, the harder it is to sleep. My son, if he stays up late even one night - will wake up super early the next day. If I want him to sleep in, usually have to put him to bed early! He is 19 months old and has slept 7:00-6:30 since a few months old.
Your child definitely needs more sleep---10-12 hours per night. Even 9 pm seems a little late for a child under age 2. Start by waking him up early and keeping him very busy all day. DO NOT allow any late naps, then begin your routine 30 minutes before you want him in bed. Staying consistent and comforting will be paramount.
Not sure what your nighttime ritual is but if you're not doing one, it's essential! That routine gets our mind/body ready for sleep. I agree about the bedtime needing to be earlier. My 11 and 10 year old go to bed at 8:30 on a school night. They "don't want to" but they are out within seconds of hitting the pillow so I know they need it.
Regarding changing the bed time, just keep adjusting it earlier until you've hit your time. Might take about 4 days. As far as laying him in bed I would say not unless you've already gone through, the bath, brushing teeth, storytime, cuddle time THEN sleep. If you do this every night, he'll know what's coming and sleep will come easier. Good luck!
10:00 is, IMHO, way to late for a child his age to be going to bed. I believe in setting an early bedtime right from the get go so when they get into school, you don't have a problem getting them up in the a.m. My daughter used to let her oldest stay up late with her and sleep late with her in the mornings. Then, when he got into school, he had a very hard time getting up in the mornings and wasn't really worth much for the first couple of hours of school because he was used to being asleep at that time. So, I say move the bedtime up even earlier than 9:00, but you have to do it slowly. You need to adjust by like 15 minute increments every couple of days until you get to the time you want. And I definitely don't think you're selfish - we all need and deserve husband/wife time!
What is his nap schedule like? If he's napping too much during the day, that could be the issue. I agree with the bedtime routine. that has always been something we do and it really does help. and you're not being selfish :)
Make small changes and the child will adapt much easier. Maybe start tonight at 9 pm preparing him for bed with bath, snack, teeth brushing and finally reading a few books. Expect some resistance but keep on task. Anticipate him being asleep between 9:45 and 10pm. Move bedtime routine 15 minutes earlier every day or so until it is where you want it. Be prepared to need lots of patience with your little one. I have a 23 month old so I understand what you are up against. Consistence and patience is the key to a better bedtime routine. Be somewhat flexible when you actually put him in bed. If you usually rock him, do so. If you don't, consider sitting at bedside and rubbing his back for a bit. Wishing you a better evening.
I don't think your selfish at all!
I would start the routine earlier by 15 minutes over the course of a few nights rather than just switch it to 9pm right away. We did that at daylight savings time, and it made things much easier. Now, we (2 year old and 3 1/2 year old) start bath by 6:30, then one episode of Mickey Mouse during snack, brush teeth, and in bed by 8pm.
I think you need to look at when he is napping to see how you can tweak it. If he is still taking 2 naps a day, it may be time to go down to one. I don't think he's probably ready for no nap though. I wonder if he may actually be overtired and that is why he is up so late. Kids are odd and will rev up when they are too tired. I'd say 730 or so is really a bedtime that probably is closer to what he needs. You can read Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child - he goes over how to fix different sleep problems at different ages. Henry's Mom is right though: sleep begets sleep. Or as my grandmother used to say "an overtired baby doesn't sleep well."
It can take awhile to make the adjustment since he is off by so much. I'm surprised he's still awake that late without passing out. Is it his nature to need less sleep (I have two boys like that) or is he getting a nap or late nap that can be changed? When is he waking up? You're not being selfish by putting him to be at a reasonable time. 8pm would be great at the latest for his age. It's healthier for him and you. You do need you're own time as well. Rethink his wake up time and schedule through out the day. Reconsider multiple naps is he's taking more than one and reconsider the time of his one nap that he may be getting. If he naps too late he will stay up later. If he naps too long he will stay up later. In the beginning you may have to give him some busy days to tire him out to get used to an earlier bed time. You can try weaning him to an earlier bed time or completely adust his day and tire him out and put him down by 8pm. A nice warm bath before bed can help, and a dimly lit room with a story as well. You may have to let him cry it out a bit and never pick him up if you must go in. Good luck!
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
