Please Help!! Daycare Dilemma!

HI!~
My name is also Jennifer. ( S.) I am a 30 year old SAHM. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 9 year old. I know how you feel! I too went back to work when she was newborn (8 weeks old) and the sitter, though she was a SAHM with an in home daycare, she didn't provide the care I expected. The back of my daughters head still has never rounded out. Long story short, I pulled my daughter out and then was downsized so I was able to stay at home with her. Unfortunately, we are moving to the milwaukee area starting July 1, but if I can help you in the meantime I would be glad to.

My advice would be do your homework and find her a great daycare to start now. I think getting her settled now would be better than waiting til she is older. I could be wrong, but I fear there may be more seperation issues later verses now. I really had a hard time with my youngest going to daycare at an early age because with my older two kids, I had family members doing daycare so they watched them.

You may have to adjust your routine depending on the daycare, still bring food and all but maybe have her dressed and what not. If you go with a provider, I have found only a few who charge only the days your there. Most have a weekly fee no matter if you child is there or not.

You have several things to consider, I wish you the best of luck in your decision!! It can be a hard one.

That's a tough question and one you are probably going to have to go with your gut feel on. If you can find a teenager who you trust and would be good with her, that would be awesome. On the other hand I'm thinking since she's had several situations already, instead of getting attached to one more person who will disappear from her life after getting attached, maybe putting her in the center right away would be good. Good luck - not sure there's a right answer!

Don't get her a babysitter for the summer and then switch her again in the fall that's to much.

Find a SAHM who can give your daughter all the attention and love.

I know I'm a single mom to 2 girls and I'm in a bind financially, I have another friend who's a single mom and pregnant. Well I'm going to do her a HUGE favor and watch her son this summer when he's born and not charge that much but still it's enough money to help me out. Find yourself something like this. My friend trusts me, I'm going to stay home all day with my baby and her baby, and send my school age daughter off to school. I can give everybody attention, I'm already a mom so I know what I'm doing.

Jennifer -

I am not sure if you have someone that can/does help with drop off or pick up or where you work but I have a daycare in Vadnais Heights MN that is awesome. She is relatively cheap but you pay for the week and her hours are 7AM to 5PM. She has had my children since my 2 1/2 year old was 6 months old and she took him after he had been shaken by my stepsister who was caring for him originally. My daughter who is now 1 was a micro premie and my daycare still took her and she has done awesome with them both. She only has my 2 kids during the school day and then only a couple others before/after school and then in the summer. If you are interested please let me know and I will give you her contact info.

Hi Jennifer,

Here's my opinion: if you know of a 6th-8th grade girl that you can trust, hire her. She can come right to your home, you can pay her less, and most girls that age LOVE to babysit and have time on their hands. Cassie isn't a newborn anymore so a girl this age could absolutely handle the responsibility. Cassie wouldn't need to get used to any new surroundings for now and can feel comfortable in her own house. OR you could hire that girl to watch Cassie in HER home. Possibly a girl in the town you work in so you'd be close by if needed. She could take her to the park and on stroller rides. As long as this girl knows the boundaries for her own TV, texting, and computer use, I think it may be a great option.

Oh, and by the way, Jennifer. This advice is not from a stranger. :) Call or email soon!

(side note: Tif has cancelled)

K. in ML

For that price I think your only option is a high school student. Try posting on a job boards at the local high school and maybe at local colleges, you might get lucky and find a high school senior who would continue.

Expect that at any daycare you will be paying full time weather your child is there or not in addition to your providers vacation and holiday pay as that is standard for most quality providers.

I had my child cared for by my sister paying $150 per week (standard for IGH) and my daughter was used to going places and having loving individual attention, she did not adapt to daycare at any age and now I am a stay at home mom. Not what I expected before having kids but it is a great situation now.

How about having a SAHM come into your home? When we needed childcare, we had a SAHM come to our house to watch our son, and she brought her daughter with her. It was a win-win situation for everyone: my son got to stay in his own home, the SAHM made money while not having to put her own child in daycare, and we weren't paying "nanny" prices.

We only needed her very part-time though, two afternoons/week. It might be hard to find a SAHM who wants to work 50 hours/week. Maybe you could find 2 SAHMs to take different days or split the days. Or maybe you could do a "nanny share" with another family, and alternate whose house was used.

You have very inexpensive childcare right now, so be prepared to possibly pay more. We paid our SAHM $5/hour, w/a daily minimum of $25. (We set a minimum because we usually only needed her for a few hours, and wanted to make it worth her while.) I have yet to see an in-home, licensed daycare in St. Paul or Mpls advertise for less than $160/week, and even that is the low end. A center will set you back more like $200-$300/week.

IMHO, I think babies and toddlers do best in their own homes. YES, there are great daycares out there, I'm not saying there isn't. Also, whatever you choose, I would look for a long-term situation. I don't think having her home for only the summer and then switching her again in the fall is a good idea.

Hey where are you from??
My 15months old son goes to grandmas day care in maple grove, she actually has an opening for your age child...
I know how hard it is to trust your "heart" to a stranger we had to use my mom's friend for a few weeks d/t age restrictions ...and I was a mess...but my mom is absolutly great with kids they love her and dont want to leave....Max was with her since 10 weeks...I was b/f too...feel free to call me if u are in the area and interested i can give u much more details...
###-###-#### J..

Pros of in-home daycare: one on one attention, easier to bond with one person which will mean your daughter will build trust and be happier and more comfortable in general, immediate response to needs, cheaper, most are more flexible with time and special requests [like the homemade food and breastmilk]

Pros of a daycare center: reliable, structured, accountability [with more people around it is unlikely your child would ever be abused- but it has happened], good daycare centers incorporate teaching activities, daily reading time, socialization, and balanced meals [one less thing to worry about]. They may have their hands full, but they will feed her when she is hungry, and put her to bed when she is tired, and they are required to change diapers every 2 hours.

I personally would not have someone watch her only for the summer. That's a lot of change in a short period of time. Think of switching daycares like switching schools for older children. Switching schools 2 or 3 times in one year means your child will have to adjust each time, and the instability could hurt her more in the long run. Especially if you get a summer sitter that she really likes and bonds with.

18 month-olds are definitely not able to be reasoned with! I think she would have an even harder time as she gets older. Her crying and tantrums and separation anxiety will only be more intense at 18 months.

My opinion is, start her in daycare now, or find another long-term nanny [not just for the summer].
My son has been at a Kindercare center since he was 8 months old [he is 15 months old now] and has done wonderfully. BUT....and here is the *BIG* But......He has also been sick ever since he started. He has literally not gotten better all winter. He gets sick, they send him home, I send him back when he is well enough to attend, and then he gets sick again...over and over. He has gotten everything...pink eye, ear infections- he eventually had tubes put in, high fevers, he has had a runny nose all winter, bad coughs, pneumonia, etc. Daycare centers are filled with germs and every kind of cold or sickness you can imagine. So if you send her to a center, expect that she will be sick for the next year or so. After that year she will have probably built up her immune system, but it is a huge hassle in the meantime. I thought about pulling my son out so that he wouldn't get sick anymore, but everyone told me "keep him in, because he will either be sick now, or when he starts school".

So that's what I think, but as other people have said, you should go with your gut and do what you think is best for your daughter

I personally think that you may be happier with a nanny at this point, but I am not sure because you didn't really state your expections.

I'm sure you know that at daycare she will have to sleep in a crib and will not get undivided attention. But you may also find a daycare that has lower numbers and is wonderful with your child. The fact that you bring your own BM and food would make it much easier for your provider. I have had parents that want particular food/brand for their infants yet were unwilling to provide it themselves. I also don't know where you are located, but not all daycares charge that much. I am going into my 8th year and charge $150 for infants and I that doesn't mean I provide horrible care. I have had most of my families since their children were infants and I want to provide "affordable" care. I have had people tell me straight out that they won't use me because I am "too cheap".

Anyway, I am getting off topic...

If you choose to go with a Nanny you will be able to keep your daughter in her home environment with one on one care, which is wonderful. It may make it harder to transition her to daycare and it may not. I do think if you choose the Nanny route it would be in your daughters best interest to make sure she gets out and socializes and isn't kept in the house all the time. I think that if that is done it will make switching to daycare that much easier. I would also recommend having your daughter sleep in a crib for her naps because she will need to get used to it for daycare and it will, again, make it easier on her. Of course, you may find a provider, that will be creative or flexible for nap time, but I know most of us really depend on having nap time to get other things done and having a moment of quiet.

Either way has its ups and downs and ultimatly it comes down to what you feel in your gut. I tell every person/family that interviews with me to go with their gut feeling or instict, even if that means they won't be using my daycare. Trust yourself!