Please Help!!! - Sarasota,FL

Updated on September 12, 2009
A.P. asks from Sarasota, FL
37 answers

First of all let me start by saying i love my son very much. He is 14mos old and dose not listen to anything i say. I know this is young but how many times do i have to tell him not to do things. I cant tell you how many times he has dumped over the dogs water bowl, pulls on the plug for the water cooler, pulls on the dogs hair, pulls on the vertical blinds, head butts, bites, etc... I know that most of these things are him just exploring but what do i do. I grab him when he does one of these things and try to distract him with something else and all he does is crawl as fast as he can back over does it again and laughs. sometimes i think he understands because when i go after him he crawls away from the item and looks like he knows he is doing something wrong. Dad has also had a hard time with this so i know its not just me. We have been trying to use his playpen as a time out area which works great while he is in there. Makes it hard for me to put him in there so i can go to the bathroom (dont want him to think he is being punished when he did nothing wrong). Please give me some advise all i keep thinking of is when he goes to school that we are going to be the parents who spend all their time in the principals office because he did something wrong.

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R.W.

answers from Tampa on

It's perfectly normal for children to test you at this age. Do not put him in the play pen as punishment. Put him in a chair in the corner facing the wall. He should only set there for two minutes at the most. But honestly I found the best thing to do is take whatever he goes after and put it up where he can't get it and tell him no. If you don't get control now you are right, he will be in the principals office or kicked out of school. Children need to learn the rules before they are two years of age. Be firm and don't laugh what ever you do. And stop using the play pen as a place for punishment. Do not allow him any toys when he is being punished. Different things work for different children so if one punishment doesn't work try another.

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B.R.

answers from Tampa on

Are you saying "No" when you remove him from the problem? Removing him & just distracting him without telling him no doesn't send a clear message - you need to be very simple, clear, and firm at this age. A long explanation of what he's doing wrong will just go in one ear & out the other! And you are correct about the playpen becoming associated with time out. If you don't want that to happen, designate a different area - a certain chair, a corner of the room - where there are no toys that make time out into fun time. He's not old enough to be in time out for too long - for him probably 30 seconds will be enough to get the point across (it will seem like an eternity to him and you, at first). As he ages, it is good to keep time out equal to his age (2 years = 2 minutes in time out). He's just a toddler - at this point don't worry about him becoming a troublemaker at school! Just enjoy him and be his mom (you must still be consistent & firm with rules & discipline). Good luck -

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J.G.

answers from Orlando on

This is COMPLETELY NORMAL behavior for that age!!!! Don't worry about him having problems later. As long as you're consistent, he will be fine! My son is 16 months, so he's still somewhat in that stage. My 2 daughters got a lot better around 18 mos. Take heart--12-18 months can be very challenging!!!

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M.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

A. - My only son (I have 2 daughters also) is responsible for every grey hair on my head. They are a whole other species I swear. He is 9 now and I still have to tell him the same thing over and over and over - clean your teeth, pick up your room, show me your homework, it amazes me that any men turn out normal (functioning).

Hang in there, there will be rewards along the way. In the mean time try and remove as much stuff as you can from his reach, especially if it is dangerous.

Good luck

M. F

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V.S.

answers from Miami on

you have my sympathy, my 14 month old twins think NO, means, do it faster with more enthusiasm....

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V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Boy do I remember those days! lol My little stress factory is 11 yrs now, and has NEVER been a problem child at school.. don't think that his behavior now is a precursor to horrible conduct later; it's not. He is just doing what toddlers do. Exploring and learning about cause and effect. When he pulls on this, this happens. Then mommy comes. When he does that, that happens (if I do it fast enough before mommy gets there), etc. He is learning to control his environment too. I wouldn't use the playpen as timeout, personally. I think he's too young for time out anyway. Just TRY to redirect and clean up what you HAVE to. Mine was into so much that I couldn't get the last thing cleaned up after re-directing, before he was into something else that he needed redirecting from, lol.

It is hard, trust me, I had one of these non-stop experiments in action too... it will pass. Try not to "accomplish" too much in one day (chores wise) and just realize that for a while, keeping your little bundle of energy from climbing something (or knocking something down) is going to be your full time job. It is tough work. And people without kids that are as active and experimental don't understand how exhausting it really is.... trust me. I used to think I was a total screw up because I couldn't keep things around the house done when he was a toddler, and my sister in law's house was spotless when hers were that age. My son and daughter were night and day. My brothers kids were all like my daughter. I could do all sorts of things and monitor her without much effort. My son.... well... I could NEVER turn my back... lol.

Just know it will get easier with time. If you can limit his access to things that are dangerous it will be easier for you (maybe close doors to rooms you are not in so he can't go in there, keep the dog in another space for a few hours a day, put up breakables for a while). I remember blocking the front of my entertainment center with an assortment of stools, chairs and laundry baskets to keep him from pulling the VCR off the shelf and the card out of the satellite receiver, lol... ahh those were the days...
:)
You will NOT be in the principal's office!!

hth

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J.M.

answers from Orlando on

Please don't worry about this little guy (easy to say, huh?)! He's going to be just fine. In fact, he'll be better than fine because you can already tell he has a great curiosity and that means a bright little brain! Having a little toddler is one of the hardest things. They understand so much, and yet so little too. As far as your question of "how many times do I have to tell him...?" well, I hate to break it to you, but you've still got years ahead. ;) I have a 9-yr-old I still have to tell things to over and over. It's just that the things you have to tell them will change over time. The reason your little guy probably laughs when he does something is not because he really knows he's doing something bad, but because he knows he's doing something that will get a good reaction out of Mom or Dad. It's a great game. The more you play down the reaction (again, easier said than done, especially after a frustrating day) and make it calm, the less motivated he'll be to continue doing whatever mischief he's doing. Again, I wouldn't worry about your son being the trouble-maker at school later. Instead, by that time he'll most likely channel those brain waves into becoming a genius at school! Just keep up the good work and have patience. If you're really completely frustrated and "losing it," I would recommend reading a Love and Logic book. They have some excellent ideas. There is Parenting with Love and Logic and I think they also have one just for Parenting Early Childhood, and one called How to get your Toddler to Do Just About Anything You Want. Good luck! He'll be a huge success one day!

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T.M.

answers from Orlando on

I think your expectations are not realistic. Of course it's a game to him right now because his behavior causes you to interact with him and the angry faces you make are funny! :)

You are better off creating a baby safe area. Your child is not appropriate to have access to the family pet for example. That is just asking for trouble at this age.

I suggest getting a couple super play yards and connecting them into one big play area. Put this in your home in an area you are most of the time. Put his toys in there, along with a snack and his water. He can then be part of the active area of your home without getting into trouble. As he gets older and is better able to understand your rules, you can enlarge the area he plays in or use the gates to partition off areas of the house that are still not safe.

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L.A.

answers from Orlando on

Hi A.!
Sounds like you are a typical mom like me! I have the benefit of having a nephew who is a few months ahead of my daughter so I get to learn things a little in advance through my sister! The following are some suggestions that may help you with the following specific concerns:

1. He knows when he's doing something wrong. You are right in thinking that. Don't let his inability to speak grant him permission to do whatever he wants. As bad as it sounds, he is perfectly capable of being "trained" at this age. Scientists have been doing it with dogs for centuries and they don't talk either! I would recommend removing the items he is getting into so there is no temptation. Keep the dog bowl in your bathroom, or outside, or somewhere the baby can't get to. Take down decorations that are fragile. If you need to get a baby gate to confine him to one room that is babyproofed, do it. It will make your life so much easier.
2. You're right in not using the playpen when you go to the bathroom since this is his punishment spot. I would take him in the bathroom with me. You can keep an eye on him, and show him about the whole potty process. I always take my daughter in with me and at 15 months she says poo poo when she has one in her diaper. She pretend wipes with TP and flushes. I think she is going to be ready to potty train much earlier than is typical because of this. Put the baby locks on the cabinets so he can't get in.

You sound like a mom who understands the basics and you sound like you are a great mom.

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H.J.

answers from Tampa on

Oh my...welcome to toddlerhood. With my first child I worried that he wasn't walking fast enough... with my second (22 mos) I said "Don't rush him!" cause I knew what I was in for. Suggestions... Save "NO" for when he's going to injure himself or others. Put all of your breakables up higher they are waaaay to tempting to a toddler and anything you don't want him into put a baby lock on it. You just have a very active baby boy. I've had 2 very active baby boys and now I have one active 8 year old and a 22 month old that only stops moving when he's asleep or when Sesame street is on. And your best friend is distraction. He wants the cats bowl? Give him a plastic bowl and spoon to play with. Above all let it go and have a sense of humor about most of his transgressions. Trust me he'll be in kindergarten before you know it. This is the easy part even though it doesn't seem like it now.

J.M.

answers from Orlando on

Hi A.,
The beginning of the toddler years is a tough age; you don't want to say no all of the time but your little explorer is constantly getting into things! Is there a place in your home that your son can play and explore to his heart's content without getting into anything he shouldn't touch? If not, I'd consider creating one. If you have a room that is totally safe for him, you won't have to say no OR clean up the dog's bowl (been there!) or worry about anything else. And he will be happy because he gets his "freedom." You have to remember that if you tell him no 30 times today, tomorrow is like a new slate to a child that young. He doesn't understand that no yesterday still means no today.

If you don't have a room in your house that would work, you might want to consider getting one of those freestanding baby gates that can be formed into a large hexagon or other shape. Then you can use that as a playroom (and you'll be able to get in there, too).

I don't think you have a "problem child" who is destined for the principal's office--I think you have a perfectly normal toddler who wants to explore his world. So please don't worry that he is going to grow up to be a troublemaker. He will learn what is acceptable and what is not as he grows. Good luck!

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J.A.

answers from Jacksonville on

Wait until he turns 2 LOL!!!! This is normal behavior for a 14 month old, some are more difficult than others but they all have to try things. Hang in there, sounds like a good idea with the time out for a minute or two in the playpen, remember to use a stern voice when you say "no" and continue to distract with "yes" things to do. As for how many times, my experiance with my four children says anywhere from a few for one child to a few hundred for another! A little encouragement here, the stubborn one most like your child got into the least amount of trouble growing up!

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R.S.

answers from Tampa on

I don't know if you will agree with this or not, but I will share with you what worked for me. When children are young, they have yet to learn reasoning skills. They respond to punishment as a way to not want to do something again. When time out doesn't work, (I personally never found it to), I would give them a swat on the but to get their attention and tell them no. I am not talking about hurting your child, not to mention they are wearing a diaper, but it startles their whole body and mind and they don't like that when they are focused on doing something. I did this since they were 6 months old or so and never hard, just enough to get their attention. Other mothers looked at me as crazy, but I have extremely well behaved children who I can take places and are well behaved in school and rarely had to do it later on. I would use the counting method of 1...2...3. If they didn't stop right on 3, swat on the but. After only a few times, they knew (because I followed through every time) that 3 meant a swat and they didn't want that. Believe it or not, I haven't swatted my children in 3 years, and I still say, 1...2....3 and as soon as I get to 3, they hussle and do whatever I ask and even have smiles on their faces as they obey what I have asked, definately not fear. Good Luck

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Check out Yoka Reader right now! Her sane advice saved me!!!!
there is a way to handle this!!
best,k

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S.C.

answers from Tampa on

Little boys can be very trying! I have 2!! The best advise I can offer is to get away from the playpen as a timeout zone. As you said, you don't want to confuse him, but I understand that you are trying to contain him. I have a few suggestions. 1) get a small chair and put it in a corner and make it a timeout chair. Make him face the corner and not into the open. 2) put him in his room, in the corner and shut the door. The point is that you have not only put him in a corner, but you shut the door to make him recognize that he is being shut off from your attention and what ever he was getting in to. 3) he is young, but at this age I am sure he has certain toys or stuffed animals or a blanket that he sleeps with. If he continues to do these things that he is getting time outs for, then tell him that next time you will take away "XXX".

The biggest point I can make is that you have to do what you think is going to hurt his feelings the most. If you think he is doing these things repeatedly to get your attention, then put him in a place or a situation where he gets none of your attention. Obviously somewhere that is a safe zone for him. The older they get, the more boys try to test you and if you don't nip this in the bud, you are going to have a hard time later!!!

PS - a good old fashioned spanking never hurt anyone!!! Even if it is on the hand.

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S.J.

answers from Orlando on

You got a lot of great advise, but I wanted to give you something to think about since it seemed to be an issue amongst the responders.

I support the idea of a time out even if you son is only one. But I feel there is a difference between a timeout for a one year old and a time out for a two year old and older. At one, its just an introduction into the time out concept. After two, its a punishment.

When my kids were one and they misbehaved, I gave them a warning, and if they did it again, I just pick them up and put them in the time out spot. It's a way to let them know that this is what is going to happen when they misbehave.

It takes them away from the situation and gives you and him an opportunity to talk about what was wrong. At the end of the talk, you make him apologize and you can both go about your day. At this point, no need for a timer, no need to stay there for a specific amount of time. But he can't leave until he listened, understood, and apologized. Since you have to talk to him, you do not need to use the playpen -- pick a different corner that you will use in the future as well. This could eliminate the confusion and reprogramming you will have to do once the playpen is gone.

The reason I feel this will work is because if all you are doing is distracting him, he's not understanding that what he did was wrong. So he doesn't understand that he shouldn't do it again. With the time-out spot, he will eventually realize that everytime he's put in it, the last thing he did was wrong.

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K.D.

answers from Tampa on

all i can say is, he's only 14 months, you're expecting to much. to him, all of those things are fun, and if it gets your attention, it's even funnier. don't worry things get better.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

You're right-- he is just doing his job as a toddler, exploring his world. Do your job as a parent and make his world a safe place to explore. Some kids just don't get into things and can be taken to grandma's house and she doesn't have to worry about hiding the knick knacks on the coffee table-- but for most toddlers, you need to bend over backwards to make his home a safe place for him to freely explore. Your dog may be used to roaming free in the house, but for his own safety you need to gate him off into a section of the house where the toddler is not there at the same time. His food and water should be in that gated off area as well. Then use gates to section off an area of your home where your son can explore safely. I know you may think gates are expensive, but look for used ones if you can-- it will be worth every penny you have to spend to have them!! Crawl around on the floor to see things from his point of view and make sure everything he can reach is OK for him to touch. Otherwise, it should be put up high, locked, or otherwise baby proofed. My kitchen was gated off because that's one of the most unsafe rooms in the house, but when I was cooking or washing dishes or whatever and wanting him in there with me, I had one cabinet full of tupperware that he was allowed to explore freely. That cabinet had brightly colored links on the handles to attract his attention, and you can lock the other cabinets. As for going to the bathroom, instead of having a playpen for him, he should have a safe room where you can leave him-- either his room or the living room or whatever. You are doing a wonderful job keeping close tabs on him, but your life should not be so stressful that you are afraid to leave him for 3 minutes so you can use the bathroom!

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T.A.

answers from Tampa on

A.,this is normal. your baby is exsploring his world, (in every way he can think of.) my son did those exact same things at that age, when he does something like hit his head on a wall, floor, furniture, he is learning that doing those things makes a feeling not so pleasant, and he will learn/and outgrown that. but they learn by exspolring, and if you stop that then it will take him longer to learn those things. just of course always watch him so he doesnt get seriously hurt. it maybe somewhat tough/ and desterbing to watch him do things that will hurt a little, but this is how they learn, and like i said, he will outgrow that part eventually. you can also start some form of punishment at this age, (like the time out, etc.,) for the bitting though, to let him know that doing somethings hurts others and is not acceptable behavior, he can learn wright from wrong now, if you teach him. raising a kid is tough and looks like you and your dad are just gonna have to dael with this the best you can. (we all do!) you can always ask your pediatrician too for any advice. well, good luck, and god bless you!!!!!!!!!!1

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I have a 14 month old and she is the same way. It's a little easier for me becasue she is my third so I know what's coming. I haven't out her in timeout yet. It's probably now helping by doing that. I don't think they fully understand at that age what it's all about. Playing with her brothers in a great distraction. Do you do play dates?

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K.R.

answers from Gainesville on

Hey A...... well we hear those old sayings boys will be boys.... but with my little man .... im laughing cause i swear it sounds like you stepped into my life, I had to change the tone in my voice when i say NO. Find that tone that he knows your not playing or being cute with him. My boyfriend can walk into the house and we are in a full blown terror and as soon as he see's him, he stops whatever he is doing cause he uses the corner. Since he was a small little man he has sat him in the corner. the highchair also, sit him there. Its hard to find that groove to get them to listen but keep trying and PRAY.....

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S.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

I would suggest reading "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Harvey Karp - lots of good ideas in there to help your toddler feel heard and understood.

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S.M.

answers from Naples on

Whew, first, take a deep breath. You're doing great by recognizing your frustration and taking steps to remedy it. The stuff a baby does is more related to development than character, so don't even worry yourself about his future behavior or potential school issues! I think he's way too young to truly understand right and wrong, and he thinks you're playing games. And it's all good because he's learning, even if it doesn't seem like it. Just do your utmost to keep him out of harms way, and try to brush off the undesirable behaviour with gentle redirection. Acknowledge up front that this will be one of the most challenging years of your life, and try to enjoy it for what it is. You might pick up a book on early childhood development, so that it will make more sense to you WHY he does what he does. And then you'll feel GOOD about it instead of bad. Because it's all as it should be. If you have to keep him "trapped" for timeouts because he's not ready to stay in one place, then he's not really ready for timeouts. It could be problematic to use a bed (if he sleeps in the pack and play) for timeouts because you don't want them to have negative associations with bed that might lead to problems with sleeping or your future bedtime routine. Just a thought. You will get through this! You'll all be just fine :)

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K.M.

answers from Miami on

Of course you love your son very much. I think time outs are inappropriate at this age though and you don't have realistic expectations for his behavior. This is a rough age for sure! They don't develop impulse control till closer to 3.

Other posters gave you great ideas. I agree with baby proofing. Gate off areas of the house where he shouldn't go, like the kitchen (and keep the dog and it's water in there). Make things he's playing with inaccessible-put up the cord to the blinds. You'll be way less stressed if you're not stopping him from doing the same undesirable behavior a hundred times a day. They don't quite get no at this age yet and you don't want him in the habit of ignoring it so like another poster said, find ways to say no without using it. "The blinds are not for baby." "Let's close this cabinet and go play over here." Distraction and redirection are your best friends right now.

I promise it will get easier. My daughter (3.5) leaves the dogs' water dish alone now. lol Of course, it's back to being inaccessible again thanks to my son (11 months and walking). But, I know it's just temporary.

ETA: I just got used to peeing with an audience. One day I will pee alone I'm sure. LOL On the plus side, I know what my kids are doing while I'm indisposed.

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

honey, it's probably just his age. i have a 3yo boy and a 5yo girl. my son, i swear to you he has to be bipolar:), he can turn his emotions on and off like a light switch. i've never seen a kid like him. and i used to work in daycare. the stuff your son is doing is normal. he does understand you, they are smarter than we give them credit for. why don't you try finding a time out chair? or bench. they also sell mat's that have time out written on it and place it somewhere. obviously, it will be hard to keep him there at first, but keep putting him back if he gets out. i know that i'm probably a mean mother, but both of my kids only bit once. when they bit me, i thumped them in the mouth, not enough to make them cry but enough to shock them and they never did it again. i seriously had thoughts that mine wouldn't do good in school, either, and even pulled the teacher aside and discussed the behavior issues my son has at home, (can't stand being called anything but his name, etc.) and i put him in preschool 3 days a week. he's doing exceptionally well. so don't worry. how they behave at home, isn't typically how they behave when they go to school.

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K.L.

answers from Tampa on

He is too young to understand time out, and if you say "no" 100 times a day then he is going to just become immune to it.
I would suggest better baby proofing methods on your part, and re-directing his behavior (taking away a dog toy ect and replacing his hands with a baby-safe item) and instead of telling him NO, instead remember to let him know what he can do.
Instead of NO to throwing a sippy cup, its replaced with a ball - we throw balls not sippy cups.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

PLEASE oh PLEASE read something about child development! take a course!
read books!

It is SO HARD to read that your BABY should need a time out! WHAT???

you can NOT reason with even a two year old! sure you can TRY...
it is your job to provide a safe environment and the WORDS that go along w/ actions.
saying NO does nothing.
you TELL what things are for.
HANDS are for: HOLDING, HUGGING, EATING,etc. and you SHOW and TELL what hands are for. OVER AND OVER.

LOVE that baby, mama!!!
keep asking for advice!!!

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

A., 14 months is too young for time outs, I think. The name of the game is diversion and repetition. Also, remove things as much as possible. Can you put the dog's bowl somewhere where he cant reach it. I had to put the cats food in the laundry room because my daughter kept dumping it out. Drove me nuts. What he is doing right now is perfectly normal and does not at all reflect his personality later. I would worry if he wasnt do this. When he is doing something you dont want him to do, you need to lead him away physically to another activity, engage him and then wait. If he goes right back, just calmly say "No sweetie, here play with the cars" It might take ten times, but eventually he will give up. Babies this age arent able to control their impulse, that's why time outs are ineffective and inappropriate. Also, be aware of your thoughts about his intention. Children arent trying to make you angry. They may be trying to test limits, but the goal is to grow and become independent, not to get you angry. Keeping that in mind sometimes just makes it easier to deal with the child and stay calm. Im right there with you with a 15 month old girl, so I hear what you're saying. Hang in there. I have a 3 year old too and it does get better. Of course there are days he drives me more crazy than any 15 month old could, but that's a whole other ball game. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, A.. Honey, he's just 14 months old. He's still a baby. All he knows about discipline right now is that he does stuff and he gets attention for it -- loud, excited attention. You are right to correct him and try to distract him, but what you need to do further is to pay attention to him when he's acting right!

Start him out right by playing with him and not allowing him to roam around the house. Feed the dog outside if you have to -- that's part of baby-proofing the house. Make sure he is getting lots of positive attention during the day, and not just negative attention when he's doing something wrong.

There's nothing wrong with putting him in the playpen when you need to go to the bathroom. I suggest putting him in another place when you need to give him a time-out. Stick him in his room for a minute. At his age, time-outs don't mean as much as they will when he is a little older.

All he knows is that when he does these naughty things, you come running, pick him up, and give him attention for a while. If he's not getting held and talked to any other time of the day, then you're training him to seek attention by acting naughty.

Yes, you need a new strategy ASAP. But it's not too late. You just need to re-think your day and your attention to him.

Peace,
Syl

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V.M.

answers from Miami on

A.,
I would suggest reading a couple of books about child development, same for the person that thinks a comparison between dog training and a 14 month is appropriate.

A 14 month old will not listen to directions. They can begin to understand the concept of what pleases you and displeases you, but there is no way a 14 month old can have the cognitive ability or the maturity to do what you are expecting him to do.

Yes you can train anyone and anything based on punishment... is called negative reinforcement. Is that really the right way to teach a baby in your opinion?
Training a dog to do something cannot be compared... and first of all can you compare brain activity between a mature dog and a baby?

A one year old baby cannot be put in timeout. They do not understand the concept! They don't understand why they are being punished. It is just not effective at all.

Seriously, read even just one book. You are so frazzled because your expectations are completely off mark. If you think 15 months is hard, boy are you in for a surprise later. It is all about the expectations... you would not be stressed if you understood that this is normal behavior that ALL babies go thru (of course each child expresses it differently but they all go thru pretty much the same developmental milestones and the testing of the limits)
Happiest Toddler in the Block is a wonderful book.

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H.B.

answers from Tampa on

I would start by thinking ahead of your son.... ie, if you know he likes to spill the water bowl then move it to an area that your child doesn't have access to or put up a baby gate to block him from the kitchen. You can NOT expect that your 14 month old can even begin to understand why it matters that he dumps the water or pulls the cords....infants/toddlers have nowhere near the logic or reasoning capabilities as an older child or adult and can not be expected to understand. Time outs for a 1 yr old are not worthwhile....they do not have the thinking capacity to put it together....especially if you want to use the playpen for other uses.

As a biologist and animal trainer that has read many, many books on both human and animal behavior, the other mom was absolutley right that you can be proactive and help teach your child what you would prefer they be doing without yelling, hitting, punishing or being physical at all....it's all in how you set up the environment for success and give him lots of attention for the behaviors that you want. You have to set up the house for success....remove the water bowl, pull up the blinds, get a cord/outlet cover for the water cooler plug, repeatedly demonstrate and encourage proper petting of the dog (and give the dog a safe place to go where the baby can not get to, ALWAYS)....

These are all normal behaviors for a 1 yr old, nothing that needs to be punished for, but all that need to have mom/dad avoid...

As for the head-butting and biting, try to be proactive in what situations and energy levels prompt it and try to avoid it, if he does it, put him down and remove all attention from him.... he loses cuddle time, being held, etc by hurting....it is a stage, it will pass, but remove yourself so it only happens once her episode and try to minimize the occurances by seeing them coming.

Just remember, your little guy is totally normal. Maybe he needs his toys rotated to draw attention to them more? Maybe more one on one play and attention time? If he's busy playing with you with his toys, blocks, cars, puzzles, he can't be dumping the water bowl at the same time....if he has to be in the kitchen for a short time while you cook, etc just take up the bowl :-) Hang in there and enjoy your little one and remember this is all part of him growing up and exploring and discovering....

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I.K.

answers from Tampa on

TIME OUT! I suggest Time out. If he is persistant (sounds like it!) have his time out in a place devoid of toys or anything he can get into and make a mess of. OR if you have the time and extra patience, have his time out someplace fun where he cannot touch anything or watch TV. it will require you picking him up and puttin him back, but he'll see how difficult it is to be in time out when fun things are going on around him.
best of luck!

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B.A.

answers from Tampa on

Don't worry, it's just his age. He will outgrow this and move into a new more frustrating stage soon. :)

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M.M.

answers from Orlando on

I think one of the biggest keys is consistency with the rules. Once you guys decide a behavior/action is unacceptable for your home...it always has to be. I think sometimes we look past things because we don't have the energy for the disciplining...but kids take note of this. If he's not to touch the blinds then every time he goes to do it say "let's not play with the blinds", etc. I think it's better to try to find other ways to say no so that for emergencies or very important times a simple no will suffice because they don't already hear it 100 times a day. You have to outlast him. Even if he does the same thing repeatedly and try not to lose your temper or seem mad. They sense that.

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M.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi A.,
I couldn't help but laugh when reading this cause I felt as if you were describing my own son! He did (and still does) EVERY SINGLE THING! He started crawling when he was 6mths and walking (or better say running) at 10 mths.
It takes a lot of patience and energy to take care of him so I know exactly how you feel. After weeks of trying to explain and teach him not to do all those things(which worked great with my daugther), I just started removing everything. Dog food and water bowls were up as well as everything else. We had to pull those blinds all the way up with cord tucked in safely so he couldn't reach them (He actually broke a piece of our wooden blinds once!). We put gates all around the house so he wouldn't be able to get into the kitchen and other places. We had a huge plastic gate all around tv area! Of course, child loks everywhere... Basically, we tried to eliminate most of the things he cannot play with and replaced them with different toys and other stuff he found interesting (empty boxes,plastic water bottles, pots,plastic cups). So I would suggest you do that with everything you can because (from my experience) it just takes time. You cannot spend your day with him repeating "NO" and "Don't touch" because it doesn't work. I also did time outs the same way you are doing it. Now we are in a better place (he is 20mths old now) where he doesn't mess with a dog food&water, is being more gentle with our dog and doesn't press every single button on the TV. He also stopped splashing water from a toilet :)Trust me, it gets better as they grow! Maybe it's a boy thing... Let me know how everything goes!
Hope this helps a bit! If not, it should at least be easier to know you are not alone in this!
My thoughts are with you! Good luck!
M.

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

He is only 1. sure you can do the time outs, but it sounds more like a baby proofing issue to me. My dog and dog's bowls are not accesible to my 1 year old. electrical cords are covered. Blinds get opened and blocked by an end table and all cords to blinds are hung on a one of those little plastic 3m hooks you can get anywhere. Keep distracting him back to his toys and get ready for a whole year of having to do such things! Prevention is much better than worry about how to stop them. It is the age of exploring, not always being told no.

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R.C.

answers from Sarasota on

I just want to add my voice to the great advice you've gotten. My daughter went through this and stressed me out--then I had a son!

Wow! He is very curious, very persistent and he wants to do what we do.

I recommend prevention--babyproofing, keep him occupied, don't let him see you doing things (opening/closing blinds) you don't want him to do...if you can. Otherwise, just calmly and consistently take him away from stuff. IT WILL PASS!

I agree--too young for timeouts. I just use prevention, repetition and patience. Stay calm so it doesn't seem fun. And I save the "alarm voice" and hand spanks for truly dangerous things--like the stove or the street.

Also, I know when we were growing up that the dog's bed and bowls were strictly off limits--that's going to be the same enforcement problem, but if you lay down the rule now and put in the work for the next month or so, it will be good for the dog to be "safe" eating and sleeping.

Just stick with it!

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