Please Give Advice for 13 Mo. Old Early Waking and Very Cranky

Updated on March 31, 2008
K.R. asks from Delaware, OH
31 answers

Hello! My daughter (13 months) started sleeping through the night (finally!) a couple of weeks ago actualy as I was weaning her (I guess she learned I wouldn't nurse her at 4am any more!). We had a week or two of her sleeping pretty consistently 7:45-8:00pm until 7:30am or so. I was very impressed and so thankful, because it was a long year of little sleep! This past week (starting monday), she started waking early, this morning it was 5:15, and does not go back to sleep. I would deal with this ok if she was up for the day and fine, but she wakes up so very upset and then is cranky cranky cranky all morning until I lay her down for a nap. Since Monday, when she started this early waking, she ends up napping at least 2 1/2 hrs in the morning (like 9-11:30 or so) and then again 1 1/2 hrs or so in the afternoon (maybe 2:30-4). She just wakes up so grumpy (fussing and screaming) and nothing like when she was waking up at 7:30(talking and playing), so I know that she's still tired and could use more sleep in the morning. Any advide from anyone else who has dealt with this? I know it's not a huge deal but thought I'd see what others had to say. I thought about trying to lay her down tonight at 7:30 instead and see if an earlier bedtime helps? Thanks!

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C.G.

answers from South Bend on

Try giving her a evening snack or cearal in her bottle before putting her to bed. And I wouldn't put her to bed early- put her to bed later like 8:30 or so. My son slept longer in the morning if we kept him up a little later.

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K.P.

answers from Columbus on

I had that problem with my son. He loved to wake up at 5am. I would put him to bed around 6pm (I know that sounds really early) but he then would sleep until around 7:30am. And then he was a happy kid. I wish you all the luck.

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B.C.

answers from Toledo on

Dear K.
try giving some baby cereal in her bottle or fed something befroe she goes to sleep in the evening she might be hungry when she wake up.
Sincerely
B.

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K.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

Break the cycle is my biggest words of advice! Because she is getting enough sleep the day before is why she is continuing to do this! Make today the day that is very painful and then you will see it change tomorrow. What do I mean? Don't put her down today in the morning...keep her awake. It will be the most awful day in the world for you! Then for her afternoon nap, just let her sleep for no more than 2 hours. Put her to bed at 8 and then you will see tomorrow morning that she will sleep in to catch up from the day before. You will see this lovely cycle again when they begin to give up their naps altogether! Next time you have a little one, try some of the sleeping secrets in BabyWise and you won't have to wait a whole year for baby sleepers!

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M.D.

answers from Cleveland on

It is not healthy for you to let her stay awake in such a bad mood as it continues to project in how she will treat others and give you more of a harder time the older she gets; waking up from a good rest is never a reason to be cranky nor grumpy. I would suggest a later bedtime not earlier if she is already waking up at 5:15am..... Try 8-8:30pm for her bedtime better 8:30-9; your an at home mom with only one kid you can make it work. As for the grumpiness at 5:15 lay her back down and start communicating with her; she can understand somethings like: your not happy yet and sit not lay with her until she goes back to sleep; your letting her set your schedule and run your house, you have to show her order or everything will fall out of order; because just like a rested child is a happy child goes especially for the mommy who makes sure that the whole family is happy and healthy!!!!!! I SUGGEST A LATER BEDTIME BECAUSE SHE TAKES 2 NAPS DURING THE WHICH WOULD DEFINITELY POSE A PROBLEM WITH SLEEP SCHEDULES THE OLDER SHE GETS (LIKE STAYING TOO LATE).

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K.G.

answers from Toledo on

What time do you feed her before she goes down and what are you feeding her then also. I found with my little one that if we fed her 30 mminutes or so before she would go down that worked. depends on her feeding schedule and what she will eat though. Is she very hungry when she wakes up or is she teething?

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M.W.

answers from Cleveland on

I think if you put her down a bit earlier, you will find she will sleep longer in the morning. This always worked for our son (now 17 months old). The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" my Marc Weissbluth is awesome, and I would recommend to everyone. We learned the earlier we put our son to bed, the better he slept. Now, this meant he went to bed at 6:30pm for a long time, and he slept until 7 each morning. He goes down a bit later now (7 or 7;30pm) and sleeps until 7:30 sometimes 8am. Also, I know it is hard, but if you really want to stop the early waking, DON'T go to her at 5am!!! She has proven that she can sleep longer, so let her cry a bit and she'll probably go back to sleep. This may take a few days of her crying for 20minutes or more, but it'll work! In the long run, it's better for her to get the continuous sleep, and learn to put herself back to bed. Good luck!!

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L.P.

answers from Bloomington on

The best advice I can give is to get the Baby Wise book. It's wonderful. My baby has been sleeping through the night since he was 12 weeks old! :) He's not a very good napper during the day, but he gives us 10-12 hours a night of sleep. So, we deal with the poor napping.
I hope this helps!

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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi, It sounds like it may be a teething issue. Just a guess but everytime my girls have something go out of the ordinary a tooth pops up. They are just recently one and two and I now know from experience that while the sleeping is a lot better the second year alot of teeth come in and cause all sorts of problems. Good luck.

C.
cincinnati,OH

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B.K.

answers from Toledo on

Maybe try giving her a bedtime snack right before bedtime? She may be waking early because she is hungry. Maybe some graham crackers and milk around 7 or so. Our little one starting doing that too and we found that one we started giving him a bedtime snack he sleep in to the normal time.

good luck:) BK

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

Put her down to sleep earlier. Goes against logic, but classic symptoms of too late bed time.

T.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi K.!

I would definitely say that because she's waking up cranky and crying, she definitely isn't ready to get up. If she was waking up happy and talking, then I'd say she's just ready to start her day a littler earlier than any mother would want!

An earlier bed time might help. I would definitely try it and see how it goes. My son was the reverse of that idea. He goes to bed at 9 and sleeps until about 8. No joke, if he goes to bed any earlier than 9 (even 8:45!!) he's up at 6 or 7 and as cranky as a bat out of hell!

Could she be going through a growth spurt? My son slept horribly while he was growing. He got up at all hours and went completely off his routine. I just made sure he was getting lots of protein, fruits, and veggies. I also offered more healthy snacks between meals and made sure I gave him an after dinner snack (usually the Gerber Puffs or dry cereal).

Have you checked her mouth? Could she be getting teeth? My son had a horrible time with his molars. I'm sure you'll figure it all. And who knows, it could just be a phase that will correct itself in a week. Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Dayton on

When I had this trouble, he was not cranky I was cranky, a doctor gave me advice. He told me to go to his room and not get him up. Pat the childs back and say that it was too early to be up, give the child a favorite toy and say to "stay in bed and play while Mommy finishes sleeping".

This is easy enough for the child to understand. Depends on how stubborn the child. Mine cried for a while but he was, and is, a healthy stubborn male. {I went back in a few times and re-inforced the dreaded "No, not now" occasionally}

I must admit I was able to lay my son next to me on my bed and go back to sleep with him. Used the same technique at bed time. Only took a matter of days for it to work.

K.

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D.T.

answers from Indianapolis on

My older 2 kids went through this and I'm going to assume my current baby will too when she gets to be that age. I treat every waking before 7am as 'middle of the night' so I leave the lights off, don't talk to her, etc. I just check the diaper, nurse for 15-20 minutes and put back into crib. Most of the time, they would go back to sleep but I had to be consistent for a few days.

The thing that made the biggest difference, though, was just keeping the room DARK. A room darkening shade is a must in our children's rooms.

Good luck and hopefully it passes soon.

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A.O.

answers from Indianapolis on

I would try letting her cry and fuss a little bit. My son didn't sleep through the night for a long time and my mom kept asking Is he really crying or just fussing? I thought he was crying, but since I am such a light sleeper I was just waking up to fussing and when I let him fuss for a few minutes he would go back to sleep. I don't think it sounds like she is napping too much, but you might try getting the naps in earlier. If she is cranky anyways and then she would wake up and have more time to wear herself out before bed time. You will feel like a brand new person when you start getting good sleep. I know I did.
good luck.

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K.F.

answers from Indianapolis on

Is she hungry? I know I nurse my kids during the night and, especially as busy toddlers, they are too busy to eat much during the day so rely on their night nursing to get the calories they miss during the day. If your daughter was used to nursing during the night until recently, is there a possibility that she is waking hungry?

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S.G.

answers from Columbus on

check out "healthy sleep habits, happy child" by marc weissbluth, md. it is a great resource.

i totally agree that rest is vital to any child's growth. when my son wakes in the morining fussy, i know he has not gotten good sleep or still needs some sleep before he gets up. when i hear him in the morning talking and playing in his crib, i know he got a good night sleep. and so have i:)

i hope this book helps you, i love it and still refer to it often.

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K.E.

answers from Lafayette on

My daughter did the same thing. We just tell her that it's still nighttime and that she needs to go back to sleep. I don't want to sound like it was as simple as that, though. It was a process to get her back to sleep, but she would wake up so much happier the second time, making it worth the work to get her back to sleep at 5:00. I hope things get better for you!

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F.G.

answers from Lafayette on

try more protein at night like fish(easy to digest) at dinner. One of my twins was like this and the health visitor saaid try fish or tofu. They lived on flounder steamed for about 2 years! They became great sound sleepers and still are at 5 1/2.

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B.H.

answers from Canton on

If you nurse her will she go back to sleep? It might be worth it.

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K.S.

answers from Columbus on

Is coming to bed with you an option? I know that some people are so opposed to this idea. We are co-sleepers & my daughters wakes around 6-6:30. I've I ignore her, she goes back to sleep. Sometimes, she likes to cuddle, then goes back to sleep. Sometimes for almost 3 hours. Otherwise, try letting her stay in her crib & she is she calms on her own & goes back to sleep.

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T.H.

answers from Terre Haute on

My 17 month old wakes up really early and I have found that if I cuddle with her she is a happier child. I just take her to the rocking chair and give her her sippy cup of milk and rock her back to sleep and she wakes up around 8am or so. Maybe it is just cuddle time she is missing.

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K.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi K.!

I have a 19 month old daughter and we have gone through this with her. What I found first and foremost is that she is going to go through periods like this until her teeth are in. For my daughter, whenever she's got teething or soreness it disturbs EVERYTHING!!! So, her pediatrician told us to give her baby motrin right before she goes to bed. You would not believe how much this helps. Your daughter is obviously waking up crabby because she's not sleeping enough. The motrin will help her do that. I hope this helps you. My daughter is actually going through this again now because she's getting her 2 year molars early. SO FUN!!!

K.
Euclid, OH

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K.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Dear K.,
What do you do with your daughter when she wakes early? Have you tried rocking her with a cup of warm milk to see if she will fall back to sleep, or maybe a bowl of oatmeat and milk before she goes down at night. She may just be needing a little more to get her through the night. Is her room quiet? We always used something in our kids rooms to block out noise, like a box fan or nature sounds machine. If there are others up in the house she maybe hearing them and not want to miss anything that is going on. I hope this helps.

A little about me:
I am a mother of two, a 9 year old and an 8 year old and expecting our third. I have been married to my husband for 11 1/2 years.

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L.C.

answers from Dayton on

I wonder if it is because of the two naps she is now taking? That is what it was with my son and it was like a catch 22. He was so cranky he would sleep for two hours in the morning and then another almost two hour nap in the afternoon. The problem was that his night sleeping wasn't as deep and restful because of the two naps. It was rough and mornings were awful, but once we stretched that morning (with much crying and gnashing of teeth) to 11:00 or so, the single nap got a bit longer and he was able to go for the rest of the day. On the days that he is really sleepy either in the morning or the afternoon we will distract him with a bath. For him baths are magic! He can take one and play with his toys in the tub and that relaxes and rejuvinates him for another 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Now he is used to it and usually wakes up a happier fellow.

You have my sympathy. It is so hard when they wake up unhappy. When they are tired and cranky like that there is just no soothing them. Keep up the good work, mommy!

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B.S.

answers from Columbus on

Hi K.,
I know exactly what you are going through. I have two kids 3 years and 11 months. I've found that the kids tend to go through these little phases and then on average quickly get over them many times on their own. Sometimes they need a little coaching though...

Chances are if she's acting like that she clearly needs to get some more sleep. In my experience you really have to just wait them out, while gently redirecting their behavior. You'll have to get up with her like you have been but I wouldn't make it very rewarding for your daughter when you do get up with her. It might sound mean but it's not I promise. (I have had great success with both of my children sleeping on their own, in their own beds and through the night).

Go ahead and get up with her like you have been but don't talk to her, you can even avoid eye contact if you can handle it. Keep the house dark and as few lights on as possible. Go sit on the couch and try not to feed her until 7 or 730 if possible. (You may have to take "baby steps" on that if she's freaking out and waking up the whole house because you aren't feeding her)Try to go cold turkey and not feed her until 7 but; if it doesn't work every two days move the time you feed her back 30 min. So if she's up at 5, don't feed her till 530 and then in a day or so make it 6 and so on...Eventually, and especially since she's obviously exhausted and needs that sleep, she'll be increasing her tolerance for waiting till 7 before waking up and eating.

If you make it "no fun" to get up at 5 or 530 she'll likely stop doing it. I'd say it might take about a week or two at the very most! Also, you have to remember that they are creatures of habit and routine. It's tough when they stop nursing and she may not sleep until 730 anymore. If she was getting up at 4 to nurse and still only sleeping until 730, she may only need another hour or so to sleep before she can wake up refreshed and happy, like the little girl you were used to.

If she's not eating at 4 anymore and sleeping straight through till 630 and waking up happy, that's how you know that the 630 time for waking up is her "new comfortable" schedule...(Even though us Mom's would love to sleep until at least 7)

Does that make sense? When they're growing like this and getting teeth and learing to stop nursing and sleep through the night without waking they'll go through several weird sleeping patterns, some will be short lived and some will go on for months. Sometimes the weather effects them, I've even noticed that my kids start sleeping strangely or getting up earlier about a week or so before a time change...Try to take note of whether or not that is happening in your house. If it is, you'll fret less over them starting to get up etc...As long as you don't promote any bad habits like letting them sleep in your bed, or playing with them and being joyful and excited when they get up at 5 AM!!! (They should just fall into line pretty quickly) - Just a quick note, the sleeping in the bed comment only holds true of course if you and your husband have decided not to do the "family bed"...If that's the lifestyle in your home certainly it's completely fine and you just do the same stuff as above but work around the bed etc... The goal is to still get her to sleep through the night and get you some rest!

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C.P.

answers from Kokomo on

Did you just want to night wean? Perhaps when she wakes early and cranky you could just nurse her quickly, she'll most likely go back to sleep for a while. I did this for a bit with my oldest and it made the transition so much easier. Hang in there!

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

We had the same problem with my daughter. She would wake up earlier and earlier each day. Everytime she woke up, she would cry and fuss. Finally I made a rule. Mommy doesn't get out of bed till 7:00. Period. She started waking up at 5:00, she'd cry and fuss for about 5 mins (my personal limit) then she'd fall back asleep. I never let her cry more than 5mins. And it's not really a cry. It really only took about 2 days of me not going to her right away for her to sleep till 8:00-8:30 every day. If she wakes up before that, she plays quietly in her crib. She wakes up happier and so do I.

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C.R.

answers from Columbus on

I have a 15 month old that does this on occasion, mostly the first day he's home with mom after going to the sitters Monday-Wednesday and he doesn't have to get up as early. I always go in, kiss him on the forehead and in a deadpan voice tell him that it's still night time and it's not time to get up yet. If his diaper needs it I'll go ahead and change him but I won't give him any toys for the changing table and I don't talk to him. Keeping yourself very detached seems to give them the idea that it isn't time to get up yet. Usually he'll go back to sleep (if it's around 6ish) if it's closer to 7 he might just play with his stuffed animals or something. A trick you might try if you don't already...we have a lullaby cd that is on repeat in him room. we've been playing that every night since he was a few months old. We also play it at naptime. This is a trick my cousin told me about and it works. Luca associates that music with sleeping so whenever the cd starts, even if he's playing in bed, he'll usually lay down and be asleep in no time. Good luck on getting your little one to sleep. I would recommend NOT feeding her at those early times though. Kids that age are very fast learners and she will learn that if she wakes and fusses she'll get food and that's not what you want her to take from this! Good luck!

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C.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

My daughter was kinda that way. What I ended up doing was wait a while and she seemed to go back to sleep for another hour or so. Fortunately this worked for me.
C.

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H.M.

answers from Bloomington on

It sounds like it may be teething. My daughter is the same age and is waking frequently because of teething pain.

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