Play Wrestling with Your Son

Updated on April 20, 2013
M.L. asks from Alston, GA
14 answers

Hi i’m a mother of one and 33 years old.I’m in a really difficult situation which started a few of days ago. It arose after play wrestling with my 10 year old son, who’s a big WWE fan. With being recently divorced from my husband and having moved house and school he spends much of his free time with me and as such likes to play wrestle with me. When we last wrestled he asked me if I would put him in some wrestling holds to see if he could get out of them. I agreed to it but told him he would have to show me how to do them. One hold (of several) he asked me to put him in was a body scissors hold. This at the time seemed totally innocent as we play similar games often, so I put him in this hold where you wrap your legs around your opponents tummy and squeeze with your thighs. I did this till he gave up we went on wrestling. Later, he asked me to put him in a head scissors (like above but thighs around head) again after some squeezing he gave up and we then finished playing.

Now my dilemma. The next day while checking the history on my computer I find that he has been searching these holds and looking at some sexually inappropriate material relating to those wrestling holds. After seeing what he has looked at online I feel I may have made a big error in judgement in putting him in any kind of scissor hold.

I have not yet approached the subject with him. But he has subsequently asked me to put him in another scissor hold. I refused under the premise of being to busy to play, but this wont do forever.

I have since installed a filter on my computer so he won't be able to look at those images again. I did however approach him about what he had been looking at. He did admit that was doing some research on different wrestling holds and those inappropriate sites came up. He said that he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just quickly backed out of those websites, which still showed up on the viewing history. He then asked me if I would still use scissor holds on him the next time we play wrestle. He said he didn't want me to stop using my signature hold, because it was the move I was best at. I guess my main problem overall stems from my son wanting me to put him in a wrestling hold that could have sexual connotations. I was pretty good at applying this hold as I have very strong legs, and it is one of the very few wrestling holds safe enough to apply at home that I can make him give up in. This made our play wrestling a lot more fun, particularly for him. So with this in mind it would be a shame not to use it if its not going to cause any sexual confusion.

Should I continue to play wrestle with him in the same way? Is it okay for a mom to apply such a hold to her son?

Any help would be much appreciated

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answers from Kansas City on

i really doubt that he was asking you to help him with those moves for sexual reasons. especially if he was easy to talk to about the internet content. there are trillions of sexual sites on the internet, pretty much anything you type in can be in/on some sort of sexual site. I wouldnt worry.

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answers from Rochester on

I think it is fine since you've already started to communicate well with him. I would have been totally embarrassed to have seen such things at his age, and unfortunately nasty things come up with harmless searches. (I remember this from doing research in college, even with college filters on.)

If he really enjoys wrestling and is taking it seriously, I think it is good that you are as involved as you are now since he may pursue it in school. I'm more of a rough-housing mom myself and hope that good communication with my boys will let us keep up with stuff like that for a long time. Poor kid. :(

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answers from Austin on

Is this for real or are you a troll?

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answers from Los Angeles on

Poor kid. It sounds like he was trying to look up wrestling moves, which he is genuinely interested in, and unexpectedly found sites that were sexual in nature. I would say that you should buy him a good book about wrestling moves and positions to practice so that he doesn't have to look them up on the internet anymore. And I think it's great that you are willing to practice wrestling with him; there is nothing wrong with it at all, it is a sport like any other sport. Have fun!

Also, maybe try to get him into a mixed martial arts class or something; I know they do a lot of wrestling and he might have fun with it.

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answers from St. Louis on

You know when he searched the holds the inappropriate sites came up as well. If he actually looked at the sites it was just natural curiosity nothing more. I know you get to a point where you start to be uncomfortable with sons but it comes soon enough, don't go looking for it.

He is just playing with you, play while you still can.

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answers from Cincinnati on

You should continue to play wrestle. He doesn't think its anything sexual and neither should you. As long as you aren't hurting him, the wrestling positions are fine. A lot of times, when you google something, bad sites come up.

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answers from Washington DC on

I agree with the other moms that these sites probably came up and your son does not sound like it's anything sexual. However, you sound uncomfortable and maybe if it bothers you this much you can just say you're too old and that the last time you got hurt - that way you have a reason to not wrestle any more.



answers from Salt Lake City on

I know I will get a lot of flack for what I am about to say, but you asked for opinions. I think this whole thing is kind of creepy. I was under the impression that the whole idea of wrestling is physical domination and submission, not the kind of situation I would ever want to be in with my sons. And what about size differential, will the two of you always be about the same size? Maybe there are classes or a club he could get involved in, but I would put an end to mother/son wrestling pretty soon.



answers from St. Louis on

Hi Sweetie!

If your legs are that strong i'de like you to do me!
[email protected] in Saint Louis Missouri!



answers from Seattle on

Absolutely continue.

Google or YouTube Kermit the Frog and you'll get movies of sexual things being done by and to Kermit. (I really hate youtube right now). Should you boycott Kermit because of some sick fracks? Hail no.

BTW... You might also start trying/doing "indian wrestling". It's a legs only thing that we longer legged (and usually stronger legged) goils have the advantage at. Here's a brief 'how' if you aren't already long familiar



answers from Dallas on

Research the actual holds and make your decision from that. But if you feel uncomfortable, seeing that he's on the brink of puberty, then stop. And I think it's great that you guys have such a clear line of communication.



answers from Youngstown on

I have a 9 year old and a 6 year old and they never want ot wrestle me. My friend has a 9 year old and he never wants to wrestle her. All boys love WWE. Why wouldn't you have a filter on your computer before this if he is aloud to look up things on his own? I find the whole post wierd.



answers from Billings on

I think alot of the wrestling moves do look sexual in nature too. However they aren't it is just wrestling. We have a friend who WAY into wrestling. He is a coach so I guess he would need to be lol! His two boys are in wrestling too. They are 4 and 6. They do all the moves and they do sometimes "look" wrong, but they aren't viewing them in a sexual way they are just kids wrestling.

I wouldn't worry about it. If you let him watch WWE I don't see how you can get upset. Don't they still have the Divas? I liked watching them for the beefy men LMAO!



answers from Minneapolis on

I would continue wrestling with your son. If he gets to be an age where this is uncomfortable for him, he will tell you. Just keep the open communication going. I think we do our kids a disservice when we stop behaviors because "OMG they are getting close to puberty...".

My father stopped touching me and was uncomfortable around me as soon as I started puberty, and that was not good for me, at all.