Picking a Job!?

Updated on May 23, 2013
M.M. asks from Rice Lake, WI
17 answers

Hello Ladies! My husband just got a job on the pipeline and moved out of state for it. My 2girls and I are at home and I currently work 2 jobs. I don't really need to work at all anymore but I enjoy having a job and want to help pay off our student loans faster. So my dilemma is which job should I pick!?

Job #1 I cook at a restaurant where I have worked on and off for 10yrs. Privately owned decently laid back atmosphere. I am one of the main cooks there, or was before I got job #2. My boss wants me to quit my 2nd job and come back working full like for him. Which is actually only part time but it's 5nights a week open 4-9 or 4-10 so I can't get 40hrs a week. I hated the fact that I was missing eating dinner with my girls and miss out on putting them to bed. But if I want a day off I just write it off on the calendar and get it off without worrying out meeting a required amount of hrs. I don't mind the work and I'm good at it, but it's kinda getting old and working so many nights and not making a lot of money drove me to get a part time job working 3rd shift at a gas station.

I applied at the gas station and after a couple months was offered a full time position with benefits. Which I haven't gotten yet because I just started full time there. I make 25cents an hr less here but make more since I work 38-39 hrs a week. I work 10pm to 6am, so I'm awake while my kids sleep and fighting to find time to sleep when I get home. Yesterday I got 2-3hrs of sleep total white my youngest napped. My kids are 2-5 so they need supervision at all times obviously so I can't just nap when I want to. When I first took the job my husband worked close to home and would come home for lunch, so I napped while he made the kids lunch and I could nap when he got home from work. Now that I'm basically being a single mom I don't get the guaranteed naps. I really like my job here and love my regulars as I'm getting to know them more. BUT I can only go so long getting no sleep. Plus I'm having a hard time finding babysitters to cover with of these jobs.

A part of my really wants to quit the restaurant and just work the gas station since financially it's the better choice and I enjoy it more. But at the same time I feel like I'd be a better mom if I just worked at the restaurant a few nights a week where I would have control over my schedule much more and sleep like a normal person. What would u do?

ADDED: At the moment I only work 1 night a week at the restaurant so the kids don't even realize I'm gone except for 5hrs one night a week.

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answers from Washington DC on

I wouldn't work either of those jobs. Neither one seems to offer you more rewards than consequences.

Spend the time with you kids if you don't have to work. If you do, find a job that allows you to work while the kids are in school, but still be flexible if they are sick, have a field trip, whatever you may want to be there for.

5 moms found this helpful

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answers from Washington DC on


What would **I** do? I would ditch both jobs. You don't HAVE to work. You WANT to work so you can help pay off student loans.

In the mean time - your family is suffering - in my opinion. Your husband is already gone working - now you are working. Your kids NEED YOU.

Find a job where you can work during the day. It needs to be enough to cover your day care expenses for your 2 year old and also pay down your student loans. Otherwise - there is no point in working.

Good luck!

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Totally out of left field. . . I'd quit both and find a job or volunteer in my trained profession (unless your student loans are for culinary school, then I'd stick with the restaurant!)

This is the time to really dive into what you studied and apply what you learned in your profession.

By making it part-time, you have the joy of being outside of the home, but not too much that you miss out on your kiddos.

Most working moms have stated in surveys they would love a 30 hour a week job:)

good luck (Oh, i'd quit the Gas Station super fast. I can't do third shift work at all!)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

To me, both jobs sound like they pay a minimal amount. After you factor in the costs of childcare, you can't possibly be making enough to make either one worth your while. I would assume that when your husband was home, he was watching the kids while you were working so childcare wasn't an expense? Now it is. If I were you, I would either quit both jobs and stay at home or find something part time that pays enough so that what you bring home after paying the sitter is worth the time away from your kids. You mention paying off student loans...what did you go to school for? Is there something part-time where you can actually put your degree to work?

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Honestly I would quit both. You stated that you don't need to work, you just want to. I get that, but the thing is both jobs are putting undue stress and strain on your family. It would be one thing if you had to work, but that's not the case here.

Is your 5 yr old in school? If so, I assume he/she is about to be on summer break. I would spend the summer taking care of them, plus maybe that will allow for travel to see daddy more. Then say about mid-summer start looking for a part-time day job, so that when the school year starts your oldest will be in school and you can put the youngest in day care part-time. Work while you have the free time. Or check with your local school system, in my area they have pre-k3, pre-k4, pre-k and then kindergarten. It's free cause truthfully its school, but not stressful, kinda like advance daycare.

I have to say again since you don't have to work, you should just stay home until your children are older and it becomes easier. You have an ideal situation where you can support your family without making a lot of the sacrifices many of us have to make.

However, if not working is not an option, keep the restaurant, quit the gas station.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

Totally would go with the restaurant. You'll burn out in no time at the gas station.

I know Rice Lake is a small town, so there probably aren't a ton of options for jobs. If it is a feeling of utility and connection to adults that you seek, and don't really NEED the income from your jobs, perhaps consider volunteering your time a few hours a week while you pay a babysitter.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Okay, here's what I heard you say.

Dad left and moved out of state and now you're working every day and your kids don't have any parent at home anymore.

Why do you have this burning need to not be at home at any time with your kids? I only heard you don't need to work but are choosing to work even though your kids are doing without a parent right now.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

What type of child care do you have for your kids while you are gone at night? And what is the cost? Is it worth it to takes those night shifts vs staying home with your kids and not incurring child care costs. Without a husband or someone to back you up for a daily nap, you are going to be exhausted and not be able to provide the best situation for your family.
I admire you for wanting to pay off your student loans faster. If I was getting benefits through my husband's employer, I think i would work at the restaurant a few nights a week for the extra income and to get out of the house. If you need additional income, try to find a place where you could pick up a one to two day cooking job. (maybe a busy breakfast place.) Good Luck! Having control over your schedule and sleep should be a priority.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

The restaurant job seems a better compromise for your needs. Being sleep deprived helps no one.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

I would keep the cooking job because it will allow you to spend the day with your kids and have fun through the summer. Yes, you're missing dinnertime, but you'll be awake when they are rather than tired and trying to nap.
Then, I would look for another job that offers more hours and isn't overnight. The nice thing is you have the option of not working, but I understand that you want to.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

For your health, I'd pick the restaurant. There are serious medical issues associated with prolonged exposure to gas fumes. I'll also join the chorus of people encouraging you to pursue your chosen field, even if it means and internship or volunteering for now. That'll pay off more in the long run.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

First, and this is just my opinion - you're playing with your health!!! A body needs sleep and when you're not getting enough, it wreaks havoc and you may not even realize the damage it's doing. Having said that...

If I were you, and it's worth it to pay a baby-sitter, I would do the restaurant job a few nights a week. It won't screw with your sleep and you'd be able to spend time with your daughters, which in my opinion, is what they need.

Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

You need sleep. The smarter choice is the 1st job. I worked 3rd a while it sucks n your health goes down especially with kids n no sleep. Yeah you miss out on dinners but you need the sleep or you'll end up in the hospital I can garentee it

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Davenport on

If you feel that your personal safety is the same in both jobs, and that you will be equally satisfied with the work on either job, then go with the job with benefits. For a little alone (sleep) time during the day check the local schools, churches, and Y for part-day programs and mother's day out.


answers from Washington DC on

the restaurant sounds like a much better option to me, unless you have to have the benefits.



answers from Miami on

M., work at the job you like the most, gives you the most leeway with your kids if you need it, and work with the people who treat you best. (And gives you an opportunity to SLEEP!) DON'T give up working. Put this money back in a single account for an emergency. You had a problem when you were pregnant with your husband messing around with another woman. If he were to start this stuff over again, you would not want to be without a way to make a living in case he decided to leave your family and withdraw financial support.

You can hope all you want that he would not do this again. You just don't know. Keep your job...



answers from Dallas on

Having worked a 10pm to 6am shift with kids for 4 years...my vote is to keep the restaurant job. This shift takes a major toll on you after a while. If you don't need to work it, then I would say this is the one to drop.

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