Phoebia of Any Size Dogs

Hi S.,

I would consider taking her to a LPC who specializes with children to see if they can help. A phobia that strong comes from something and they may be able to help her the best....

"She will grow out of it" doesn't do either of you any good. Get professional help....

Have you tried finding out from her where the fear stems from? Maybe she had a really bad dream with a dog or something that looked like a dog. Take a look at the books she's reading (or being read to). Possibly there's something in one of them that is causing the fear. Try having a talk to her very casually when she's in a place where she feels confident and protected to see if she can tell you what's causing it. Maybe even talking to a dog owner (without the dog at this point of course) about their dog might help. Carry a bottle of Rescue Remedy with you at all times and when she freaks out start giving her a couple of drops every 15 minutes until she calms down. It might even calm her enough that you won't have to leave. Flower Essences are wonderful things and work very quickly with children. One dose might be all she needs.

Hi! I'm not sure if I have the solution to your problem. But, I can tell you we have the same experience! I would be interested in hearing about your responses. My daughter will be 6 yrs old this week & is STILL afraid of dogs. It has gotten "better" then when she was little. I think she has been afraid of dogs since she's been 2-ish. She would run, scream, jump into my arms whenever she'd see a dog (any size dog, and even cats back then). We don't have any pets. Everyone has told me to have her "meet" the dog (if we know the owners & dog) and explain that the dog is nice and all that stuff..well it's never worked for us!

What do we do? Well, I scope out the area we are going to, playground, parking lots, etc. If I see a dog, I say, "there is a dog" I tell her if it's running loose or on a leash. I ALWAYS tell her when I see the dog, she is much calmer to hear it from me first, then to see a dog "appear" in her space. If we have the choice to leave and my daughter is super scared, I will leave. If we don't have the choice to leave, like if I REALLY need to get some groceries and there is a dog sitting in front of the store with the owner, I will tell my daughter we have to go in anyways. I will hold her hand (now that she is too big to carry) and we will go into the store. (Or find another entrance if possible). We haven't made my daughter feel bad that she is afraid. We've read books about how dogs can be nice. We role play and talk about how to act when a dog comes up to you. We don't encourage our kids to run over to any dog and "meet" it. We have known friends' kids that dogs have bitten them, so I think it is okay to have some fear of dogs. So, 4 years later, since she had the screaming, running fits, my daughter is very calm around dogs. She doesn't scream (unless the dog starts running toward her). But, she has learned to "avoid" dogs. When we are places with dogs, I ask to owners if they can keep their dog on a leash or put it away (I have to always check if a friend has a dog before we go to their house! That took some time to remember to do. We meet new friends all the time & if we visit them I ask "Do you have pets? Christina doesn't like dogs". All my friends have been supportive and will move the dog for us to visit.) For the most part, people have been very supportive (strangers and friends) of our requests. I explain that my daughter does not like dogs. (I don't want to always use "afraid", so my daughter doesn't feel there is something wrong with her!). If someone isn't accomondating, we leave if we can. And yes, we've had to leave a number of parks during "playdates" because a dog has scared my daughter. Good luck! I don't know if any of this advise helps, but I do know what you are going through!

This does seem extreme. Is it possible that she has seen something TV that would promote this fear? I know that you said it has been going on since she was 6 months, generally they move in and our of fears at that age. It has been getting worse over the years, probably because she thinks of it so much.

My thoughts are to work with her through a counsilor. She will be going to school soon I assume? There is always a chance that a handicapped dog will be around or that one may live next to the school, or bus stop and if she just bolts and runs this could become a problem.

Best wishes on getting your daughter to successfully overcome her fear :)
L.

S.,
I hear ya! My 6 year old is the same exact way. She has what I would call a panic attack when she sees any kind of big (small, med, big, loud, quiet). Her heart starts beating really quickly & she loses it. I have spoken to a counselor who told me that this is not abnormal. She said she would probably grow out of it. I would love to get a very small puppy (a toy poodle) but due to work it wouldn't be fair to the puppy.
I have tried to coax her into coming near a really tame, friendly puppy and she freaked out. The people looked at me like I'm a horrible parent making her do it. So... I hope you get some advice that I can follow as well! But your not alone.

Hi S.,
My daughter also had a fear. Not as extreme but she is getting braver and braver everyday. We were lucky our dog seemed to be sensitive to her fear and not come near her. That all said I would get books on dogs and read to her lots of lovely fun stories of how wonderful having a dog is. Get in touch with any breeders in your area explain the problem and see if they'd be willing to help her overcome this. Start with her seeing newborns (without the mother dog of course) and she could watch a litter grow up. Don't pressure her to pat them or anything just see them. If she is ever to overcome this fear she must make the first step towards them. Make sure she isn't exposed to the news. (Stories of children being maulded by the family pet will ensure she NEVER gets over it). Talk to her about her fear when there is no threat. Ask her what she is afraid will happen and why. Then talk through her fears. Get her drawing pictures about dogs,baking puppy cookies, watching dog movies and cartoons. Make dogs fun rather than scary.

When she's having an attack what about taking a towel with you that you can wrap around her so she can't see the dog anymore. Call it the invisible cloak. It makes her invisible to the dogs. Work on this for a while until she is comforted when you put this shield up. I'd then work it down so she can see the dogs so have the towel around her body with her head poking out the top. Her invisibility cloak still keeps her safe. This will allow you to reason with her and talk to her (if it workds) rather than her melting down. Eventually I'd work it down until all she needed was a little square of the towel in her pocket. If it persists I'd see a child psychiatrist who could give you coping mechanisms.

This one hit home with me! I can sympathize 100% as my daughter had the very same thing. No reason why and we would have to call ahead to see if there would be dogs, couldn't go to our favorite parks and I would even have to ask guards at the beach to speak to those who didn't follow the rules. DUXBURY beach was almost our only safe place because it does not allow dogs.

Anyway I will tell you what we did because I heard the same things. It is a real fear and it more a control situation that your daughter feels out of control. She can't make a dog stay away and that pushes the fear farther.

Honestly my daugter had climbed up people literally like a jungle gym to escape and that was at 7 years old!

We tried counseling in a home where the thrapist had a beagle. We would try to rake walks with it but it still just wasn't working.

At about 9 or so my daughters grandparents got a Yorkie. He was hyper but tiny. She almost had to make herself like him. It was a great way to introduce her and she actually would take Jordan on walks etc and the pride was amazing but yet she still was afraid of dogs!

Shortly after her dad got a baby yorkie and this further helped her especially since she had to live with him part time! She watched max grow from a tiny thing and it helped once again diminish a bit of fear.

I showed her a standish humane Society walk for homeless dogs and she actually felt so bad that these dogs had no homes. This past year she raised 105 dollars and walked for the society ...all 3 miles , mind you with dog owners everywhere!! She walked her dads dog proudly but still was skidfish around the others but not nearly as bad!

This Christmas I further pushed the envelope and I ordered a great magazine called dogs for kids. Its colorful, shows all types of dogs, has great stories with kids and dogs and it actually has helped even more!

So as some people say she will grow out of it this is a real true fear. I only know how to wean a fear because I myself have one just the same but for thunder storms!! So I really had to put myself in the position of ok what if I were afraid of dogs?

Another tip...I called the local animal shelter and asked if they had any small dogs that we could come see or even walk. Unfortunately the shelter in duxbury has closed but there was a wonderful woman who volunteered her own chiuhaha for us to spend some time with. Like I said it had closed a we were unable to ever make it.

Have hope and try some of these angles. Just telling her not to be afraid won't work. Its really baby steps.

My daugter will be 11 in July and its still not over but its much better than when she was 5. It takes time but nurturing what you can will help! I guess I'm saying, acknowledge the fear to her and let her call the shots and also at the same time try some of the things above!

This was long I know but like I said, it hit home! I wish you all the luck!

*if there are weird words or spellings its BC I responded from my blackberry. I couldn't wait to respond to this!! That's my disclaimer lol

Hi S.,
I can understand your frustration. I would suggest getting stuffed animal dogs and books with doggies in it and play with her and teach her about dogs. Maybe share any fun experiences you have had with dogs. Slowly if you persist (gently) to share with her that most dogs are nice she may at least learn to ignore them. Maybe also teaching her the art of ignoring something that is bothering you. Start with somethine small (like a putting a plate on the floor where it doesn't belong) and turn it into a game. Good luck with this.

Hi S. - If you are interested in speaking with a professional (not a therapist), please contact Dr. Michelle Posage at Nashua Animal Hospital off Exit 5 in Nashua. She is an animal behaviorist and will be a tremendous help to you (in other words, she actually knows the pshchology of the DOG and can help your daughter with dog language, etc...)

Good luck!

I myself was petrified of dogs as a kid. My parents decided the only way for me to get over this fear was to have my own dog. So, they bought me a dog when I was about 7 or 8. I was very scared at first, but got over it rather quickly (within the first 1-2 weeks). I can't say I'm a true dog lover now, but I like dogs and don't fear them. Both of my children are somewhat afraid, so another dog may be in my future!

Sounds very stressful, especially in a city that is so dog friendly!
I would suggest talking with her when she is calm and not in a situation with any dogs (or any other stressful object), maybe on a car ride. Ask her to tell you about dogs, (just tell you about them, dont focus on the negative reactions) and see what she says, maybe there is something we're missing when we only see her reaction to the dogs. Maybe she would be able to give some insight to the situation when she isnt feeling the stress of the fear or anxiety she experiences when she sees dogs.
Although everyone is telling her, Iris, the dogs are nice, etc.. Iris doesnt feel that way, so in her world, the dogs are scary (or whatever they are to her).
Maybe you could try having her explain (use words) to you about her feeling about being scared, and then eventually she may be able to better verbalize her fear instead of act it out. (Maybe you could do it first, so she has an idea..ie:"when there is a loud noise, I feel scared because Im afraid that something fell and could hurt me)
I would take it slow though.. if she has been this way since she was 6 months old.. there are a lot of feelings there for her, and she will need some time (and soft encouragement!) from mommy and daddy.. I would focus on letting her know that its okay if she feels scared, but encourage her to use her words to tell you about it instead of letting the feeling take her over..and ruin going to the park! (You're esentially trying to teach her that its good/healthy to feel her emotions/feelings and express them in words, not actions, which will make her more aware of her feelings in general)
Hope this helps.. good luck.. stay calm! :)

In addition to the great advice about counseling, I would also like to advise seeing an experienced homeopath- I've seen great results with children and homeopathy, particularly when there is a very unique behavior or reaction in the child. My bias is that I am a naturopath.

Well it sounds like she is really afraid if she shakes and trembles and the poor little thing probably doesn't understand why so imagine how she feels with this huge fear. The pedi won't give you too much advice unless they feel she has an anxiety disorder.
At this point I would just make sure that you always talk about it, when your around dogs make sure you make her feel comfortable and if she wants to be away from the dog, don't make her stay. Let her call the shots and maybe over time she will change, my son has been like that and he does come around once in awhile. My sister has a min terrier pincher and he is afraid of him, as well as the pug next door and these are small dogs! Jacob is 5 and it breaks my heart because his 2 year old brother is not afraid at all. My 12 1/2 year old is afraid of dogs too but she actually knows it and works on getting over the fear. Just be patient with her and who cares what everyone else around you thinks or says. All children are different, no two are alike! Just hug her and give her lots of reassurance! Good Luck.

Hi S. - have you read books to her about dogs? I would try to incorporate as much information about them to her as you can. Movies,( Shyloh, Fox & the Hound, Beehtoven, Kipper) dog shows on Animal Planet, books, etc. Spend a short period each day with her on the topic. I would think eventually she would grow out of this. If not maybe talk with your pedi or child phychologist. Good luck!

Hi S.:

Oh, how sad for your little girl!
I have known two small children who were terrified of dogs.
One for no seeming reason and a little boy who was mauled by a dog and was left with terrible scars on his face and a terror of dogs.

In both cases the parents chose to get a puppy. They chose breeds that would grow into very small dogs, and breeds that were known for gentle temperaments. Their kids responded initially with terror. But ended up completely in love with their dogs and with no more fear.
Best wishes, P. B.