Pets - Lancaster,PA

Sorry to hear of your loss. I am a big time animal lover. I think any time you have a pet and it passes you get upset. You have this animal around you every day, loving you unconditionaly. You will be ok, as you know time always heals a broken heart, but you will never forget. So as long as you know you gave him/her a happy life you should feel good. Good luck to you and I hope you feel better soon. I just lost a pet of 4 yrs. and it hit me vary hard too.
M.

Lynette,
I am so sorry to hear about your cat. That is awful. Pets play such a big role in my family, and when my dogs and cat die, I will be greiving big time. It doesn't help that you are depressed. I have depression and anxiety, and don't deal well with situations like this at all. I hope you able to heal from this horrible event soon. -Jen

I'm so sorry for your loss.

The part of your email that really caught my eye was that about suffering with depression....that certainly can't help your situation with your cat, it only helps to make the issues worse.

Be sure to get help, talk to a counselor or a support group and speak to your doctor about medications. I have had chronic depression and anxiety for about 13 years now and the meds as well as counseling have helped me tremendously. Do it for your family and for yourself!!!

If you need a good counselor I know one in Malvern, PA that is awesome.

Email me if you need to chat....

Take care of yourself.

Animals are members of our family.

I got my first cat (since I was a child) just after my divorce from my son's father about 7 years ago. My son and nephew were playing with her in the bedroom when they came out holding her with a her eyes and nose bloody. On another occassion, not long after my nephew was allowed to return to my home MUCH later, I saw her dragging her tail. Now, anyone who KNOWS cats knows they don't drag their tail.. almost EVER. (I've never seen it before or since.) The story finally came out in both cases that she was being tossed from each boys lap when the eye/nose issue happened and put her claws out to fight back, when my nephew punched her for hurting him. (The cat was doing what came naturally.) The tail incident also came back to my nephew, who was not allowed to play with the cat (kitten still). She had been trying to get AWAY from him and went behind the sofa, at which point he grabbed her by the tail. She sunk her claws into the carpet, needless to say, and he pulled until he got her out, dislocating her tail.

Her eye and nose cleared up quickly, but I had to take her to the vet to deal with her tail. Doc was able to put the tail back, tho he wasn't sure if it would 'take' because it came dislocated at the very base. Chances were slim it would heal, in which case, I would have had to lobbed her tail. That very day, I told my nephew, "Go HOME, before I do something I'll regret." (He lived across the street.)

I was NOT happy. I'd only had her a few months at the most. As much as I love my nephew and son, I was sooooooo furious that I told them both that they had their punishment (no contact for 6 weeks) would be MUCH worse if I had to lob her tail.

In answer to your question, you loved your cat. No doubt about it. The timing of getting him on Mother's Day has very little to do with your response to the loss.

Give yourself time to get past the loss. You are not responding out of character at all. If you still miss him terribly, there is nothing wrong with finding another cat/kitten to fill a void. No, a new one will NOT replace him or get rid of the pain of the loss. But having another kitten around WILL give you joy. It's their JOB!! (as if a cat can have a JOB).

L., Hello! I know all about depression big time. It takes over your life. It's really hard when no one really understands what you are going thru. For me getting out of bed took everything i had! During the worst times I made my kids tv dinners. I didn't have the enegy to cook. I gained so much weight during the really bad time eating right out of the bags and fast food anything that could be cooked in the microwave. Days that i didn't have to go anywhere i just took a shower and put on clean pjs. It was so bad for me that I shaved my head, I couldn't even deal with my hair. Everything drove my to tears. Once in the food store, I couldn't even make a simple decision that i just left the cart in the middle of the aile and walked out. My husband wanted me to get professional help but, i wouldn't. If you can, get it!!! If not, I'v found fish oil pills help. Take one with every meal. I've notice a difference in about week and half. Now I just take one a day. Its been about 3 years since the very deep depression. It never really goes away. It also helps, that I work now. I was a stay at home mom and I think that was a major part of the depression. Also, my 2nd baby was a miserable baby. I didn't get depress till my husband and I moved to a new area, I wasn't working, knew no one, very lonely, I think looking back that is what triggered it off. It wasn't post-
Anyways,I gotto go my break is over, Please, if you feel like talking just write back I've been there and still struggling with it, but, don't give up ,there is hope you just got to find out the right way to deal with it. Give the fish oil pills a try.
L.

you probably truly miss him. it's not uncommon to become extrememly attached to an animal. i cried like a baby for hours when my mom had her dog put down. and i only saw him every few months! don't disount your feelings, even if it is grief over an animal. if you are seeing a mental health professional to help deal with your depression, talk with them about your loss. it will help! hope you feel better soon!

Hello L.,

I know what it is like to lose a pet. In August 2006 we had to put one of our cats down. He had behavior problems. I know that pets become part of our family. It is hard because I miss him. I was used to seeing him everyday... when he woke me up and when I stepped on him while making dinner! My 4 year old daughter still askes about him. If you need to talk, just message me! I have been there and I don't know if I can help, but at least I understand the loss.

Once you get a pet, they become part of the family. Sounds like you are missing him.
I am sorry for your loss. The Rainbow Bridge poem has always helped me when a pet passes.

Hugs

J.

It is hard when you lose a pet. Sometimes they are our best friends. And I know about depression, I runs in my family, my mother committed suicide, my sister and myself suffer from depression, you need to get to a doctor and ask for help, it doesn't go away by itself. You have 4 wonderful kids so you need to take care of yourself, to take care of them. If you need to talk just send me a message.

My pets are like children to me. Look up the poen entitled the rainbow bridge on line. I've found it before, it is beautiful and wiill probably give you alot of comfort.
C.

P.s. let me know if you can't find it.

You know what's strange? About a year ago I lost our 20 year old cat. Obviously, she was part of our lives for a very long time. In fact, I had the cat before I had children. But while she was here, I didn't much like her. I know that sounds cruel, but she kept to herself, didn't really like to have anyone pet her, and really only seemed to bother with any of us when it was time to for her to eat. But when she finally died, I was really upset. At the time I thought that was so very strange, because she never really seemed to be a big part of our home life. I used to joke that she was simply decorative.
I think, though, that our pets are really part of our lives. We are responsible for their lives, and so they become part of our family life. Of course we miss them when they are gone. After some time, the pain will lessen. I'm sorry for the loss of your pet.

Hi L.,

You just miss your cat. One of my "children" was killed this past weekend, and I miss her like crazy. You get attached. Your animals mean more to you than you think. They are there everyday and they can't talk back to you! hehe.

Maybe you should think about getting another cat. Or even a dog. Having an animal is great for depression. I'm partial to cats, they don't need you, they love you. They jump up in your lap and purr away because they are happy that they are with you. They know what you are feeling and act accordingly. They try to calm you down, or cheer you up. And petting them is soothing.

Hope you start to feel better soon.
D.

Sounds like you miss him and you loved him. I'm sorry to hear the sad news.

Hi Lynette,
Are you getting help for your depression? If not, that's where to start. Aside from that, and about your cat, it's very normal to feel just terrible after the loss of a pet. I still cry and grieve the loss of my cat - even months later, because she was such a sweet little gift who brought nothing but joy to our family. Pets are a part of the family and losing them is never easy.

You mention that you are dealing with depression. .. how old are your children? If your youngest is under 2, please consider calling the postpartum stress center in Rosemont PA, or at the very least, please talk to someone to get help.

I wish you healing thoughts of peace.

L.,

Sounds like you really miss and love your cat. I imagine with it being so young it had to hit you especially hard. I have 3 cats who will all turn 8 years old in May. They have always been a source of great joy in my life and there have been many times when they were the only ones who could make me smile. I get nervous sometimes when I think about their age, fearing I will lose them someday. So I try to just not think about it. I am so sorry for your loss, you will feel better with time as long as you let yourself feel the emotions that are naturally coming. If you try to block them out, they will just fester and bother you for a long time, but if you just let the feelings come, and deal with them and let yourself hurt and grieve, then it will be easier to let go and move on. Sometimes the hardest thing for us to do is to allow ourselves to be human. As for your depression, if you need to talk to someone, you can message me. I have bipolar II disorder and also struggled with a massive depression, more than once so I understand how you are feeling.