Peeing Husbands - in the Water, or on the Porcelain.

my man pees in the water and I am sorry but I can not help but laugh hysterically b/c I have been there done that just have him place some tp in the toilet.

LMAO! Why not just train him to sit down!?
He's GOT to know it's louder that way--why does he do that? LOL

I'm laughing too hard to even formulate a response, other than 'is this what I have to look forward to when I get married?'!!!

BAHAWAHAHA!!!

No, you cannot dic(k)tate the manner in which your man pees, sorry. It will only piss him off if you try! (Pun intended)

:)

(Maybe some white noise in the kids' rooms will drown out the peeing sound. Pun intended again, killin myself here!)

:)

Oh my goodness--your husbands' pee finds its way INSIDE the toilet? I usually end up stepping in a puddle of it in the middle of the night--and then he tries to blame our 4 yr old.

Oh hell, I am cracking up! My husband sounds like a horse peeing when he goes, but I would never ask him to aim for the sides...I don't want to clean it off the floor.

Of course it's not ridiculous to ask him if it's waking up the kids!! If it was just bc it bugged you, then it's a matter of who gives in. But if waking up the kids is avoidable, seems like a small change for him to make...

LOL at the comments! I once found my husband kneeling (when we were first married) & I couldn't figure out (?) and he said it was to "go quietly." And he's a short guy!

re: where it lands-- some of you might've heard this before but my SIL had a cross-stitch saying in her bathroom: "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie!" argh! :)

I wouldn't start a huge arguement over it. I mean, do the kids fall back asleep?

I'd be super-happy that my husband made it into the toilet in the middle of the night, esp if he was super-tall. MUCH BETTER than peeing on the seat. I thought that's what you were going to say - that he's tall and in the middle of the night gets it all over the seat, then you sit on it and have pee on your legs.

Does he stand or sit? I don't know what my husband does at night. He mixes it up during the daytime. I see him sit, I see him stand.

When my husband pees he calls it powerwashing!

The amazing thing about my hubby is that when he is at home, he sits to pee cause he doesn't want to spray anywhere. So we never have a drop of pee on the seat/floor in our house. But when he's out or at work, he's powerwashing!!

I don't think it's a crazy request to pee (or do anything quietly) so that the kids don't wake up. Now that's some serious peeing!!

hahaha! This is a hilarious question. Does he want to do the "i can do whatever i want" or does he want to be considerate of others? Because peeing however he wants isn't being considerate of others. I would hope he'd consider that other people are sleeping and try to pee quietly. He can also sit down and pee if the sound travels too easily!

HAHAHA! At least he's not peeing on the seat/wall/bed ;)

I'd make a joke out of it, like you just did, 'OMG, did the roof cave in from the rain?! Oh no, it's just you, peeing... directly... in... the water.'

lol! At night, I'm lucky if my husband even make it INTO the toilet! There have been puddles on the floor in our almost 10 years of being married

have him sit on the toilet instead of standing...there is no law that says he can't sit. But do appreciate that he has a strong flow; prostrate problems has diminished my husbands ability to have a strong flow and he always feels like he has not emptied his bladder.

Okay lets get some honesty in here. Your kids wake up too easily. Sweet mother I make the same amount of noise when I pee cause it will hit the water too. Distance really doesn't change how loud it is you just don't know what you sound like because you are in the water closet yourself. Oh my husband is 6 ft 2 as well. Trust me, same noise level it amplifies off the bowl itself. Yeah your backside will dampen a bit of the noise if you are a large woman but otherwise you are just as loud.

Now, what do you think would happen if he aims for the porcelain? Come on, everyone was forced to study some science in school. Without the proper angle, taking into consideration the slope of the bowl and velocity he will pee on himself. Sorry but if I were a guy I would not willingly pee on myself just so everyone can sleep. Call me selfish. :p

Ahh yes, Theresa brings up a good point, he could pee sitting down. That way his backside could muffle some of the sound. Problem is unless he pees straight into the water he will still be peeing on himself. :(

my hubby is loud also when he goes as its hitting the water. I'm happy to hear the pee hit the water when any of the boys go. I would rather be hearing that than it hitting the porcelain and know I get to clean the toilet in the morning because of the pee possibly splattering and being all over.

LOL!!! My 4 year old son even pees on the side. I guess it would be less messy to aim for the water. Our toilet is absolutely disgusting. :-/ We have a policy at our house to not flush the toilet at night because the bathroom is next to my son's room. Maybe you can have the same policy? With all the toilet paper that accumulates, the pee wouldn't make much noise. Good luck!!

LMAO is right! My husband always sits down if he pees at night time. Why wake the kids up if you don't have too.

nope, but you should make HIM clean the toilet.

Too funny. I used to get on my husband all the time about that because he takes the phone in with him. It bugged the heck out of me (for specific reasons, not the generic "nobody wants/needs to hear that"), but he didn't realize how loud it is. Now, he is more conscious of it and will opt for the side when he sees me on the phone or if he's on the phone. Gross.

OMG!!! I didn't know that any males (with the exception of my sons when they're potty training) sat down to pee! My husband always stands, and yes, it is loud, but I don't mind because he is the only male in my house that actually pees IN the toilet EVERY time!

You could have a general rule (not related to peeing specifically) that anyone who wakes up the kids in the night will be the one to get them back to sleep. Then he can make his own decision as to whether he wants to do something about it. We all make adjustments when our kids are sleeping. In the house we used to live in, the bathroom was close to the kids' rooms, and I would have to wait until the kids were sound asleep (not when they'd just fallen asleep) before I could flush. Because I don't want to deal with them waking up, I was happy to make the adjustment.

If your kids go back to sleep easily at night then I agree with your husband. If it takes an hour to get them back to sleep after having drinks, their own trips to the potty, and a bunch of other stuff then I would ask him to please find some way to be a bit quieter. Unless he deals with the kids being awake and then he can pee however he wants.

Honestly though, if he isn't peeing all over the toilet seat, down the sides, or on the floor then I wouldn't complain.

My hubby (and our three boys) all sit down to pee when we're at home.

It's not a ridiculous request. He's WAKING YOUR CHILDREN. He may want to come to the realization sometime soon that the world doesn't revolve around him. If what he's doing is disturbing the children (and it is NOT healthy to be awoken in the middle of the night even IF you go 'right back to sleep'), and if what he's doing can be remedied (especially EASILY remedied!), then you bet your patootie he better do what's necessary! Not ridiculous, but COURTEOUS and RESPONSIBLE.

I hate the way some men act like if you ask them to alter their urinating habits you're eviscerating (or emasculating!) them. It's PEE for the love of all things bright and beautiful! PEE. It isn't a big deal. When we got married, early on, I requested that my husband find a way to not sprinkle the seat. Not to wipe it up, mind, but to not do it in the first place. He came up with "what if I sat down?". That's what he's been doing for the last fifteen years!

Your husband is being a child to not be willing to alter this for the sake of your kids.

I'm surprised that this topic comes up occasionally among my male friends, even in mixed company, but it seems that a surprisingly large number of guys will opt to sit on the seat when peeing. They have to sit anyway when when pooping is on the docket. This apparently improves aim, and I would think it would also be quieter than peeing from a height.

Standing is just one option, not a requirement. Yes, your husband can pee how he wants, but I would sure hope he would not "want" to wake his children, who need their sleep for optimal health.

And if I were you, I'd focus only on the actual problem that is created by the volume, and not bring in other issues about right or wrong or comparing his methods to how other guys do it. That will make it into a larger disagreement than it needs to be, hooking both of you emotionally in ways that will one day look silly. There may even be other creative ways to solve the problem, and you might be able to hook his male-problem-solving brain. Perhaps more insulation on the wall joining the kids' bedroom?

My husband sits down most of the time... i guess i took for granted how nice that is :)

If he thinks that's ridiculous he will hate that I tell my husband to sit down or he can deal with the kids he wakes because I won't get up.

I haven't read any other post yet...but at least he's peeing in the water/toilet...I am constantly cleaning the toilet before use and around the bottom because the three (2 boys, on man) cannot pee correctly.

It's quit embarrassing when we have people over and I've forgotten to clean up before the company arrives.

But no I don't think it's ridiculous...

Oh I am so sorry I am laughing. My husband doesn't have any noisey peeing problems, but he uses the bathroom as an office, a study hall, a place to collect coupons that he peruses to get ready for the weekends.In quite possibly the smallest bathroom (ok there are smaller just exaggerating) on earth. And instead of using the toilet he oftentimes uses a pan (yes ick) in the garage or goes to a tree outside (night of course). Why he can't walk up a short flight of steps I don't know. Kind of too late to teach an old dog new tricks. He is of course private about all of this, however he takes up much needed bathroom time unless he is in the mood to do these other things. To this I say ; ahhhhh MEN!

Be thankful that he pees in the toilet at his height. My tall father-in-law is having trouble getting to the bathroom in time sometimes so I am trying to be understanding. One time when he visited, I didn't hear the toilet flush after he went, just the faucet. I just assumed I'd have to go in and flush the toilet when he wasn't in ear shot. Instead, I saw the yellow splatters on my sink!

My husband pees in the water. It is loud, but I never really have it a second thought. In my opinion, though, there are worse things a husband could do-such as telling you how to do something ;)

LOLOLOL That's so funny!!!!!! He's right though. He can pee how he wants. Maybe ear plugs will help...LOL My hubby is a porcelain peer...LOL

I don't think it's a ridiculous request. I think you should make him go comfort the kids since he is the one waking them up. If it was me I'd be mad because I'm the one that always has to deal with the cranky kids in the morning getting ready for school. I think he's being a big baby about it, but at least he gets it in the bowl. My problem is in the middle of the night my husband and son can't seem to find the bowl!

My hubs sits down to pee when he gets up in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. He realizes that he's groggy and his aim is not at its best at those times.

What??? Am I the only one that has NEVER heard or noticed this??? I have NO idea if he pees in the water or on the side!!! I guess I should just say I'm lucky that I don't have "sprinkles" or "puddles" when either my son or hubby pee AND they both ALWAYS put the seat down. YEAH FOR ME!!! (good luck to you, I hope you find something that works for you!)

LOL!! Hilarious post!! My hubby (also 6'2), stands and pees right in the water. There could be a 6 inch thick steel bathroom door locked airtight and I'd still hear it. Luckily, he does sit and pee in the middle of the night or early morning..but I think it's only because he's still half asleep and too tired to stand.

I had a friend who told her husband and sons that they had toilets not urinals so they had better sit or else. LOL

let it go...not where you want! lol. i would play white noise at night if the pee is waking your kiddos up.