Passing Gas During a Conversation

Updated on September 17, 2012
M.P. asks from Minneapolis, MN
22 answers

Do you find farting during a semi-serious conversation, completely rude and dis-respectful? I really dont care WHO it is. If you cant hold some gas in for a conversation, what does that say about you? I think if you let one slip that is dying to come out, ok. Mistake made and go on, but you rip a huge one, and the expect the other to sit in the stink and discuss daily goings on, is not very respectful. My husband thinks it just comes with the territory of being married. He doesnt see what the problem is about it. He gets ANGRY at me for being ANGRY that he is constantly farting when we are discussing things like daily activities, kids school, work schedules, and money. He does it when we are talking about things personal and even when we are talking about sad things. He says he never holds farts in. I asked if he does that at meetings at work, he says no. Then I call him a liar. He doesn't like that. So my question is, do you not think its totally dis-respectful to do even if he is your husband and privileged to certain things.

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So What Happened?

really ladies you think I dont think its funny? well placed farts are hilarious. I am not a fart nazi, people. I NEVER ONCE SAID he couldnt fart in OUR home, I am talking about WHEN we are discussing something SERIOUS. We are having conversations. He is not a walking wind bag of scottish pipes. GEEZ I am not a bitch everytime he farts. I fart, I do it every which way to Sunday, HOWEVER I do NOT do it when we are talking seriously. THAT is the problem with him, some of you ran with this one and is making it sound like we need therapy and a medical doctor to run our lives. OI
DID I call my husband a Iiar,,,, HELLS yes because it was a running thing with us. He says he DOES IT EVERYWHERE, and he doesnt. So is he divorcing me tomorrow? not likely. He probably will fart under the covers and bag me in it tonight. I am sure. Remember I asked if it was during a conversation that was serious. NOT every minute of every day.

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answers from Grand Forks on

Could he have a medical problem? That sounds like a lot of farting. I don't think my husband has ever farted in front of me in 25 year!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

Yes I think its disrespectful. Just because you have to pass gas doesn't mean you just sit there and "let it rip". You get up and move to another room. I mean, really? Just because you are comfortable with the other person and are married, doesn't mean you have to subject them to something disgusting. I mean, my husband doesn't sit in the bathroom and take a dump in front of me either. In fact, neither of us have EVER seen each other sitting on the toilet. I just don't need that visual in my head and neither does he. If he wouldn't do it to his co-workers, he definately shouldn't be doing it to you. Just my opinion. Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful

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answers from Kansas City on

I'm having problems breathing right now because I am laughing so hard. Laura, I watched the video and MartyMOMMA, your SWH is hysterical.

My ribs hurt. Fart nazi. Okay, I can't stop.... scottish pipes... I need a kleenex.

ETA: Okay, I've composed myself now. And re-applied my makeup. Yeah, I agree with you. He should hold off during important conversations.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

It sounds like to me that your husband has a different standard for his behavior with YOU than he does for everyone else. And that IS a lie. He should at least own up to that.

I think if it is as bad as it sounds, that you might go on "fart strike". Everytime he does it, walk out. No talking to him about anything if he can't hold it in for you. He could at least walk into the bathroom, shut the door and let it rip in there.

Also, buy Beano and give it to him before meals. Perhaps that would lessen his need to fart in the first place.

The older people get, the more noticable and "fragrant" their farts are, I have observed. I will admit that my husband and I both do it in front of each other, but at least we say excuse me!

My answer to your question about if it's disrespectful for spouses to do in front of each other is that I think if it bothers one spouse as much as it bothers you, then YES, it's disrespectful of him. If he can control it at work, he should be willing to try to control it at home. He doesn't WANT to and is making every excuse in the world to not have to do it. That's why you should stop whatever you are doing and leave him to himself when he does, no matter HOW angry he gets at you. If he can't excuse himself and go into another room to fart, then he is doing this on purpose, just to show you that you can't tell him what to do.

I think it's actually very immature behavior on his part, MM.


5 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

My husband and I have been together 25 years and are best friends. We joke and are silly together. But neither of us invite the other into the bathroom or pass gas in front of each other on purpose. We respect that neither one of us want to be around that, nor do we want our privacy interrupted. So yeah, I'd think that was disrespectful.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

After all that I read including your SWH, I'm with you. Yes, farts happen, but it sounds like your husband needs a grip on the concepts of "respect" and "appropriate!! He's not showing a grasp of either. And 5 will get you 10 he does NOT do this at meetings at work, so I suspect he knows a lite more about "appropriate" than he does about "respect"!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

My feeling is we shouldn't be that comfortable with our spouses that we just do that like it's no big deal or like we don't need to show each other courtesy. My husband and I are married for 22 years. We don't go to the bathroom in front of each other and I think if you really need to let one rip and you know it's coming, you should excuse yourself for a moment even if the person you are with is your spouse.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

well, there's a casual family atmosphere, i guess, thats different from being in a social or business situation. not so much for me, though. i suspect my husband is an android. he NEVER farts, unless (presumably) he's in the bathroom already. not even after his colonoscopy. and because he's so careful about it, i too take care not to do so in front of him.
i'm more apt to slip, but i just excuse myself and carry on.
because of our rather atypical shyness about the matter, it's hard for me to fathom trying to carry on a conversation with someone who just lets one rip and then keeps talking. my boys do it from time to time just to get my goat, but they enjoy my reaction and don't for a second expect me to sit in the stink.
if he *never* holds farts in, what DOES he do during business meetings?
i think husband and wives should have a little more latitude to fart in front of each other (even if we don't avail ourselves of the 'privilege') but i think it's definitely a privilege that should never be abused.
i'm with you on this one.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

You know...the average person farts about 14 times a day. I rarely have the urge to pass gas when I am out and about. Unfortunately for my family, the urge comes at home. I don't ever try not to fart because it hurts my belly. I am like a child, I laugh! My husband just shakes his head and laughs too, and he is just as farty.
I have tried to hold in the fart and seriously, it HURTS me. So, I don't. Good thing we are not married!
For your viewing pleasure...just kills me every time!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

E gads! Sounds completely dreadful.

In Polite society, we do not pass gas in front of people if we can help it. We excuse ourselves and go to the potty or another room or outside.

We also do not find humor in this type of behavior. i guess we associate it with going to the potty. Just seems so trashy and inconsiderate.

We treat each other with total respect at home with family as well as at work or out in public.

We have been married over 30 years and have never acted like this in front of each other. None of my family members or my husbands family, no friends, neighbors.. anyone i know acts like this.

I am with you. It is completely unacceptable and disrespectful and certainly not in any way funny. Sorry he sounds just awful. I am sorry you have to be treated like this.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from El Paso on

My husband definitely farts around me, but I can't say that he's ever just intentionally ripped one while we were having a serious conversation. Oh, he intentionally farts occasionally. Heck, he's even been known to aim one at me if I've been being ornery/pestering him. (Yes, we are obviously very mature sometimes.) Again, though, he's never done it during a serious conversation. He'll also give me a warning if it wasn't intentional and knows it's going to be bad.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

My husband is a farter too. I don't think it is any more disrespectful or out of line of him to pass stinky gas in his own home than it would be for me to think that I could dictate a rule of when and where he can fart. He does have intestinal issues and passes a lot of stinky gas, but if it is bad, I'll usually either bury my nose in my elbow, or get up and walk away from him.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chattanooga on

With my husband, I am a bit more lenient...

He is at home, where he should be able to relax... NOT have to worry about offending people.

While I DO think it would be nice for him to walk away and do it somewhere else, it's really not worth the fight to me...

Usually, when my hubby rips one, I give him a semi-dirty look, say "Really?" and then drop it. If it stinks, I don't sit there and carry on the conversation, I just get up and walk away.

If your husband is passing THAT MUCH gas though, I would look into some dietary changes... Gas is normal, but if it's as bad as you are making it out to be then he must have some sort of digestive issue...

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

This was a bad question to read while lying beside my son with my lap top last night during bedtime. I was trying to stifle my laughter the whole time!! probably shaking the bed silently. bag pipes. OMG!!!! so funny.
The first or second week I met my husband he asked to sniff my fart. Boy was he sorry. I knew we were two of a kind from that moment on. We still don't like each other but at least the farts are funny!
Good post!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

Mine does it too.
Just ignore it.
It is disrespectful, I hear ya....
But fighting over a fart is just not worth it.
Keep your poker face and dont let his farts mess up your train of thought.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

LOL, it's a guy thing when guys are comfortable with you, they open up. He can have a bit of courtesy but the lack of it is not a big deal. I thought you meant a friend or something... but your husband? If he can't hold in gas for a conversation it says he's completely open to you and doesn't need to be uncomfortable around you. I personally don't think it's disrespectful, especially when it's a natural body function. Maybe ask him nicely to refrain for you. Be loving, not high and mighty. He may be unwilling to change his stance because you are so unwilling to change yours. It's not a battle worth fighting.

Don't call him a liar. That's just mean. You are not his boss and your relationship should be loving and not cold like that at a business meeting so I think it's completely cruel to say that to him.

Where are the men on Mamapedia when you need them?! =)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Eugene on

No, I don't think farting is disrespectful. The problem is that you don't like it and your husband keeps doing it. Instead of calling him a liar, tell him how it makes you feel. For instance, it feels like you don't matter because he farts with you but not at work. And ask him to refrain when you are having a serious conversation so you can talk without distraction.

If the poor guy has that much gas, it's not good for him to hold them all in. He either has to let em fly or run to the bathroom while you are trying to talk to him.

A little humor might be in order here. Have you watched the pooter videos on you tube? Maybe you can buy dh some beeno or develop a rating system for his farts. If he lets one slip, you can comment with, "Whoa, good one, now can we talk about the who's going to pick up the kids tomorrow?"

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

ooh M.!!! Thank you!! I needed this laugh!!!

It would bug me too!!! I realize that bodily functions happen...but really!!!

now my boys??!?!?! oh my word!!! my husband was raised by a blue blood. So farting and burping in public - even in the living room is WRONG!!! :) i've tried to get him to relax over the years...

I wasn't raised on the wrong side of the tracks either...but the first time my dad met my husband? We were in Las Vegas, after coming back to the U.S. for vacation from Germany, my dad lets one loose right there in the RV Resort and shakes his had and says "damn - those barking spiders!!" that my (then boyfriend) husband didn't run away screaming was a huge deal!!! He passed the test!!!

Tell your husband to at least blame it on barking spiders!!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

He sounds like he needs to see a Gastro Enterologist, that is a lot of farting. We all create gas during the digestive process (burping and farting) but that should not be continuous, unless he is eating continuously? And yes, I would find it rude if it happened all the time. And I feel sorry for his coworkers. I walk to the bathroom if I feel I have gas, also you never know if it is more than just gas....

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like he doesn't want to talk to you and is using the passing of gas as a way of getting away.

ON THE OTHER HAND....One can NOT always hold it in.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

Is it because he is trying to distract you from the subject?

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answers from Minneapolis on

Really? It is funny? I personally would have a VERY hard time to have sex and be turned on by a man who farts in front of me ! Especially if he thinks it's totally normal . OMG, I didn't even imagine it's possible. Next time he farts,tell him that you are not having sex with him ( and don't! seriously!) .

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