Parents Not Cleaning up After Their Child.

I agree with locking them up but sometimes that is not possible. So if you recall there is a wonderful song, "Clean up: clean up" that they use everywhere at daycares, etc. You could try that for some reason kids think it is fun to do that. I have raised two children and substituted in schools for over ten years. I do that with the kids in the schools. They are giggling hysterically while they clean up. I know sounds silly, but it has worked. But then there's always the locks. Not fair I know. My sister used to bring her two sons over and they would break things and she wouldn't say or do anything to fix them like a dishwasher knob and a lamp for example. I guess sometimes we just have to wait it out. And sometimes it's okay if you do that and don't clean up immediately. Take care of you first. Good luck. S.

Me personally I would take a few minutes every hour or so to have the kids pick up all the toys. Stand there and ask each child to pick up a certain item and put it away. The little one you speak of probably has no idea how to clean up so you will have ask him/her to pick up a certain toy and put it in the box...or whatever. You get the idea. I do that with everyone that comes to my house. After a little bit when I see the kids drifting off to something else, I go in clap my hands and start to sing the clean-up song. Everyone picks up while we sing...if one doesn't do anything then I call them by name and tell them what to pick up and where to put it. That helps keep the mess to a minimum and it gives everyone the polite hint that you don't want the kids to tear the house up.

When someone else is watching the kids then just ask them to at certain times...maybe even specify what time of day (like before lunch, after naptime, and before you get home) have all the kids pick up the toys and tell them they will probably have to stand over them and direct the process, but you really need the mess picked up before you get home if possible.

It is tough and I always try to make my kids pick up when we are at someone elses house so I know what you mean.

Speak your mind (tactfully) or hide the toys!!!

I would say quite simply to the parents: "Would you please help me clean up all the toys that our kids played with? " I can't imagine that they'd say no to that.

Or, if you'd like to be more direct in pointing out that their child is the mess maker, ask them something like: "How do you get (Bobby/Betty) to pick up his/her toys at home? Because I can't seem to get him/her to do it here and I'd like to know what works for you." That should be enough to at least turn the hamster wheels in their heads.

I don't know if this is your siblings child or your husbands but regardless I would just say to the mom or dad in a joking manner that they need to clean up after their childs mess period! Is that wrong to do? Or "would you mind having your child help my child clean the mess that THEY made together"

Good luck!
JH

I have learned to lock up all the toys you don't want played with or broken! Not only because of the big mess that can be made but if another child breaks YOUR CHILD's toy (that you probably spent good money on!) your child will have to deal with the consequences.

When I was young we were not allowed to play in our cousin's rooms, nor were my cousins allowed in our rooms. Our doors were shut when company was over, and sometimes locked. Toys that we wanted to share were kept in big plastic bins and my mom was careful to have only toys we didn't care about breaking.

This happened after lots of crying after having cousins over (or a party of friends) and having things missing, misplaced or broken.

This way you can control the mess AND perhaps toys getting broken (believe me, that will happen if it hasn't already!) Before the nephew/niece leaves make sure you have everyone pick up the toys. It's sad that many people do not have manners nowadays!

Also let the family member who is watching your kid know that the nephew/niece is not allowed in the bedrooms, and they are in charge of bringing out the toys that the kids are allowed to play with.

Good Luck!

If the cleaning is really important to you and you want to avoid sounding bitchy to the parents, I would announce at the beginning of the playdate that the toys will be cleaned up by the KIDS(not parents) when they are done. Leave extra time for this and give them a warning...Say in five minutes we will stop playing and clean up our toys for another day. A 2-3 year old is capable of cleaning up toys as long as they get positive reinforcement from an adult. It needs to be a group effort between the kids...it dosen't matter if they did not play with a certain toy...they can still clean it up...it is good teamwork and helps in preparing for school/preschool. If this idea dosen't seem to work, I would just avoid inviting them over.

I think that all you have to do is ask them to clean up after their children please. And also before the children start to play tell them that they need to pick all the toys that they played with. You have rules in your house and they should respect them. I hate when people do not clean up after there children too. Don't be afraid to speak your mind if they do not like it they will get over it.

I really don't see the harm in simply asking for her help. It can be done very tactfully, and I've had to do it in the past. When it's time for the kids to go, either ask the child to help put away the toys, make it a game for all the kids, or just ask the parent to do it. In my experience it has been much easier to just ask for what you want instead of allowing yourself to be inconvenienced. It is possible they will be offended, but highly doubtful they will say no.

Why not ry only bringing out a few tous and put all the others away. Explain to your kids, if they are old enough to understand that only a couple of toys are allowed out when so-so is over. You can always "hide" the others.
We resorted to locking my kids bedroom doors when my brother comes over with his 2 little ones. They would take out everything, go thru my sons night stand his wallet, everything. So now we just lock the doors and that is that. No mess no fuss. But in the summer when they are over for parties, they leave messes all over my yard with cpus and wrappers, and here is the kicker, my brother is a neat freak, even more so then me, No one is allowed to make any type of mess in his house yard, or garage. They just do not obey the same rules at my house as we must at his. And he says NOthing about it. So we started to do the same at his house as his kids do at ours, he started to get the hint!
Good luck, family is always a touchy subject!

You have too many toys out for the kids to get a hold of. Limit the amount that they can dump. Even with your own child, they can't possibly appreciate all the toys at one time so if you put some toys away and take "new" ones out every couple months...and just keep rotating toys...it will be like Christmas all over again,for months.

When you are around and it is time for them to go, direct your comments to your children... "Did everyone clean up???" and make it a point to march your children back in to clean. Kids are vocal enough and they will say, "But Mom... so and so made some of the mess too!" Then just add, "well, let's help them clean up too!" Make it a group effort and keep everyone accountable. The mom REALLY should have figured out that her child was making a mess, too. Even with your subtlety, Mom may still not get the point and it will become your choice to either confront or continue to seethe. Good luck.

Hi GD.
You could try saying in a friendly voice to the kids (making sure the parents hear, of course!)"In this house, we only play with one toy at a time. You need to clean this one up before you take another one. Blank (your child's name) will show you"

If that doesn't work, I agree with the PP. Hide the toys. Only keep out some of them when they are over. Good luck!

We have a rule in my house. ONE TOY AT A TIME! My children know it and so do all of their friends and my nephews. You only get to play with one toy at a time and when you are finished with that toy you must put it away before you get another one out. If you don't clean up your mess you don't get a new toy.
Sometimes when the children are being supervised by another adult this rule gets broken, and when it does we stop what we are doing and we put all the toys away that are not being played with.
When you know that your family is getting ready to head out and they start to go gather their children tell the children that it is time to put the toys away. All the children need to help because they all helped make the mess.
If you never put your foot down and enforce rules things will never get better. Speak up and be tactful...make cleaning fun!
Good Luck!
J.