Oi. It has been over three years since I had my daughter. Before her, I NEVER had any issues with sex being painful.
Now, if I try to be on top, my hips start to hurt, badly. Sometimes I will shift just the wrong way, and I will get a shooting pain (like a cramp) all the way down my leg... Which is a serious mood killer.
Beyond that, sometimes the sex itself feels painful inside. In certain positions (both on top or bottom...) it will feel like he is running into something. It is a really dull, but strong pain that is only in specific areas... But they don't always stay in the same place. One night it may feel like it is on the right side, the next the left. It's not always there, but it is often enough that it has really killed our sex life. It almost seems to come in cycles (but not in any pattern that coincides with my period that I can see...) it will be fine for a few weeks to a few months, then come back and start hurting for different lengths of time. (Again, few weeks to few months.)
I know things got rearranged in there, but I never expected giving birth to have such a long-lasting effect on our sex life. My daughter's birth was a bit traumatic, as she was fairly large and got jammed on the way out. And she literally thrashed back up the birth canal after she had crowned. (Oh yeah, that was awesome.) Then my placenta would not detach, so the doctor had to go in after it (very pleasant...); then I started hemorrhaging and lost a lot of blood and had to be packed (or whatever they call it... I was pretty out of it by then) to stop the bleeding. I am almost wondering if my DD managed to do some permanent damage that I need to get looked at.
Does this sound weird to anyone? Or is it to be expected?
Oh, and any advice for the hip thing? I'm pretty sure it's just the result of them shifting from pregnancy... I have tried doing hip stretches and some exercises, but they haven't done much.
Definitely talk to you OB. I had a friend who ended up with a nerve exposed on the inside due to tearing after the birth of her big baby. It was left exposed when she was stitched up and no one realized it until she had sex after her postpartum recovery, and it was incredibly painful.
You also might talk to a chiropracter about the hips, you may be misaligned.
See your doctor to rule out any medical issues. No it's not normal to be so "rearranged in there" that you have painful sex 3 years later. You should have a fulfilling sex life in much less time after delivery.
Once you rule out medical issues, you might benefit from chiropractic or more effective exercises and stretches to improve flexibility, muscle strength, etc.
The shooting pain down the leg sounds like sciatica - the sciatic nerve goes from your lower back and down each leg. It's more common in one leg than the other, often. Doing really good abdominal strengthening can help the back. So can better posture and alignment during the day. Mine got much much better when I joined a gym and did effective nutritional supplementation to improve muscle strength. There's also a fantastic new all-natural anti-inflammatory that is helping with so much health issues. I can give you info on that.
The hip thing sounds like you're out of alignment to me. Go find a chiropractor and get adjusted. The part where it shoots down your leg tells me that something in your lower back is off, and you're feeling it all the way down.
For the rest, I have no suggestions for you. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. You could go to your doc and ask for an MRI to see if there really is something that's been out of place...?
I have experienced pain like you mentioned during sex like he's "running into something" and sometimes on the left, sometimes on the right. I never knew what it was, but I did discover that an anti-inflammatory really helped it go away faster. Over the years it has resolved and I don't really remember the last time I had a problem with it. I did go to the doc once; I think he thought I was making it up because at first it hurt when he pushed down on the right side; then it moved to the left. He looked at me like he thought I was making it up and simply said don't know; can't help you; see you. So I just toughed it out and like I said, it did resolve over time.
As for the hip pain, you might try a chiropractic adjustment. Sounds like your body went through hell and may need some realignment.
Good luck. I hope you figure out the pain, but do try some anti-inflammatories the next time you have what I used to call a "flare-up."
You should definitely talk to your doctor about it because there certainly could be something wrong, BUT I had a very easy/normal labor/delivery and my son is also almost 3... And sex STILL hurts. Not all the time, like you say, but sometimes it definitely feels like hubby is running into something in there. I have been to 3 different doctors and 1 specialist (Because I'm really sick of it). I've had ultrasounds and other tests. They all say the same thing. Nothing is wrong. It just takes "time". Blah blah blah.
Hopefully they will be able to figure something out for you!
I am thinking sciatica or even a fibroid. Not just older women get them, but you mention it feels like your husband is running up against something, it makes me wonder if perhaps there is a fibroid or two obstructing things..
you might to ask your doctor about this.
I wish you all the best
M.:
No, pregnancy doesn't "rearrange" you...you can get stretched out - but if you do your kegel's it should firm back up. You need to go to your OB/GYN and tell him/her exactly what you told us. They should do an ultra sound and a sonogram to see what is going on.
the leg pain? That's Sciatica. A Chiropractor can help you with that.
Please, don't wait to get things checked out. I don't think I could've waited 3 months let alone 3 years to find out what was going on.
Good luck!
The pain during sex get checked out by your obgyn. They should be able to find and see if they can figure something out. I am actually in the process of figuring out my own pain and he did the exam and said I was inflamed and very tender and red where I told him it was. No STDs (had to be tested in case I get an IUD) and he is working with another Dr to figure out what we can do about it. So my advice is get checked asap
Check with your Ob/Gyn I have been through the samething and its was discovered that I have endometriosis. It can cause severe pain in the lower pelvis area. I didn't start having issues until after I started having kids. Check with your doctor it could be a number of things.
Sex is not supposed to be painful, and it's not normal or to be expected. You really do need to talk to your OB/GYN about it. It's not something that you have to suffer through.
ohhhh ya, I have a 6 year old and I still have t pop my hips back in to place after we are done. it hurts so bad but i try not to let my hubby know. as for it hitting something it could just be the position try a few diff ones and talk to the gyno at your yearly.
