Pacifying with the Breast

Updated on January 20, 2009
Y.D. asks from Boca Raton, FL
21 answers

Hi, My 6 week old has her fussy time starting around 10 pm. The only thing that will settle her is the breast. She would nurse every 45 minutes to an hour! She won't settle to sleep until 12-1 am. She also likes to be held while sleeping. as soon as we put her down asleep, she start stirring. She does spit up after feedings so the doc says she has reflux. What should I do?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for your advise and tips! I went and bought a wedge for the crib. I have not used it yet though. I swaddled her last night and I was able to put her down without her stirring and waking up. she wound up feeding every 3 hours last night. I still nursed her 10:30 and then 11:30 and that was it. We'll see what happens, maybe the swaddling was what she needed. I keep you all updated. Thanks again! God Bless!

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C.G.

answers from Gainesville on

Try wrapping her up in a blanket really tight then she will think she is being held. Another thing to do is putting her in a small bassenett and putting pillows around her so she feels like there is walls around her.

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B.C.

answers from Ocala on

well do not know about the feeding thing. but you need to let her stir and cry it out about being held all the time she is sleeping. you sure can not do that forever,so you need to break that habit now ASAP.good luck.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

I'm a reflux expert! Are you near miami?
http://www.mamasource.com/business/14059862321568677889

well, at 6 weeks you CANNOT do any kind of sleep training! So you need to now address how to make her more comfortable...are you swaddling? I highly recommend this, also putting the bassinet/crib mattress on an angle so her head is elevated...

poops will tell you if it's anything in your diet- if they are NORMAL mustardy/seedy poops then it most likely isn't anything (or at least not anything 'major') in your diet- if poops are mucousy (look like snot, are stringy) and/or green (green once in a while is NORMAL, just not all the time)then you might want to eliminate milk and soy from your diet for a good 2 weeks...

www.kellymom.com is an excellent resource (as am I, LOL!)

~L.

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C.P.

answers from Pensacola on

Y.,
My husband was a pro at swaddling our little one. Seems he was more comfortable in a blanket....swaddled. It's more like the comfort of the womb. Ask your nurse or doctor how to do it.
C.
WAHM

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

They do go thru a phase it feels like it's constant nursing but it does slow down. Both mine started doing it a bit older than you daughter but it can be perfectly normal. My little girl would nurse constantly for 2-3 hours in the evening. And at 6 weeks she's probably going thru a growth spurt as well. As far as the reflux, I had one of these with my little girl (who had some reflux issues) and it did help and it was safe since it fits very snug under the crib sheet.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2401848

I still use it when she has a bit of a cold/congestion to help her sleep better.

Just wanted to add that with the constant nursing phase they go thru they are getting more of the hindmilk and one of the theories is that this helps them "tank" up for sleep. Most babies go thru a fussy/"colicky" period in the evening time when they are young. For my son it would start at about 6 pm, for my daughter about 7 and for a friend of mine her daughter would fuss/nurse from 9pm-11pm then settle down. She's perfectly normal. Even though she is very young try starting a routine. I really like the baby whisperer. For a baby as young as yours the "activity" phase would be something as simple as burping her. A baby her age doesn't need to be kept awake for the program to work. She is very young and just needs to sleep, be fed on demand and snuggled! Definitely swaddle her as well to help with the stirring once you put her down. I find if I swaddle my daughter before we start the nap and evening feedings she does better settling down.

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S.S.

answers from Melbourne on

That actually sounds like colic to me. My oldest son had that but his time was from 5-8 pm. I recommend taking your child to the chiropractor a couple time to get adjusted. It has been proven to work for most cases of colic.

It can't hurt to try!

S.

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L.O.

answers from Miami on

Y.:
Keep nursing her. She knows what she needs. She may be having a growth spurt. She is probably cluster feeding. It's our job as Mother's to give our babies what is best for them. If she does have reflux, then she is letting you know she needs more from your breast. You may try to drink some Mother's milk tea to up your supply so she gets a richer and healthier meal. The breast milk educates the immune system. Babies can not be spoiled. They were inside of us...warm; secure; they felt & heard our heartbeats all of the time; they had constant movement; they felt our breathing; they never knew the feeling of hunger or pain...must I go on. Give her the time she needs in the way she needs it...every baby needs something different.
Do you have a co-sleeper? Do you have a carrier/ sling?
Good Luck.
L.

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

Does she ALWAYS spit up after feeding or just in the evening? I think a lot of times we feed/nurse to settle the baby because we don't know what else to do, and the baby accepts the feeding because they like the sucking but they really didn't "need" the milk so they get overfed and spit up and don't really have true reflux. Read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer NOW and you can learn some techniques for a happy, healthy baby who does not require to be held to get good, restful sleep

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi Y..
I wanted to mention a little something that might help you some. I did the "On Becoming BabyWise" with our little ones. I think it has some similar concepts as Baby Whisperer, but I've only heard a little about that one, not used it myself. At any rate, try doing this: After you feed your baby (every feed, not just the bedtime one) keep her awake for a bit and have "awake time". The first couple of times it will be hard, because she is now used to going to sleep after eating, but try. Take off her socks and play with her feet, etc. Even if you can only keep her awake for 10 minutes. Try. THEN, after she has had some awake/activity time, then let her go to sleep. When she wakes, it is feeding time... then keep her awake for awhile again before letting her go to sleep. Fairly quickly she should adjust to the new order. And she will stop snacking and will eat a complete meal (including getting the hind milk). Also, if she has her awake time after she has just eaten, she will be more content and happy during that time, and most likely you can keep her upright easier to help with the reflux issues also.
Most of the time we accidently create a "schedule" of eat, sleep, awake, eat, sleep, awake... But what works best is eat, awake, sleep, eat, awake, sleep. Once she is a little older you can work on putting her to bed still awake (drowsy but awake) so she can learn to go to sleep on her own. But for now try to get the order of things switched to Eat, Awake, Sleep; repeat. As she grows she will gradually stay awake longer.

And if your doc says she has reflux, then check with your doc about how they recommend you manage it. There are medications, there is keeping her upright after feedings, there is raising one end of the crib. And probably more.. but check with your doc.
Best wishes.

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K.S.

answers from Melbourne on

Have you tried a pacifier or her infant seat (car seat)? I know that for babies with acid reflux (like my son), the car seat keeps them in a perfect position, plus it helps confine the baby so he/she doesn't feel too overwhelmed in the big crib. Another thing that helped us a lot was the Amby Baby Bed. It's expensive, but well worth the money. I have also heard that letting your baby sleep on their left side helps or with a crib wedge, but those didn't work well for us. The Amby Baby Bed was one of the best (he outgrew the carseat way too fast). =0) Hope it helps!

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i didn't breastfeed my children, but my son spit up horribly. but his wasn't reflux. his esophogus? wasn't closed all the way (apparently normal) and every time after he ate, he would seem to spit up about half or so of what he ate. i had to sit him up for about 30 mins or so after he ate. i went thru so many bibs and clothes it was crazy!! anyway this went away when he was about 3 months old. also the enfamil ar (i think) the one with the rice cereal in it seemed to help him a little. the dr recommended it.

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N.D.

answers from Jacksonville on

IF you need to get some rest while she is feeding, try to nurse her laying down. She may be going through a growth spurt and that's when she chooses to cluster feed.

J.M.

answers from Orlando on

Hi Y.,
Probably not what you want to hear, but that sounds like pretty typical behavior for a 6-week-old! That frequent feeding is called cluster feeding and it is very normal for young infants. Also remember there is a 6 week growth spurt so she is probably trying to increase your milk supply. I'd keep feeding her on demand.

As far as the reflux, you can elevate the head of her mattress by putting a blanket or towel UNDER the mattress. That should help. If she starts to stir when you put her down, try saying "shush, shush, shush" and patting her. Try not to do it constantly or until she is 100% asleep, but just enough to help her get back to sleep on her own.

In my experience the cluster feeding is a good thing because baby will usually sleep longer after that! Good luck and remember this, too, shall pass!

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S.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, Y.. There are a few things going on with your newborn. She's probably still feeding about every two hours or so, so I'm not surprised that she wants to nurse at that hour. It's not unusual that only the breast will settle her. I know you probably want that time to rest, but for now, just give her the comfort that she is asking for.

She hasn't gotten her days and nights sorted out yet, so she may want to be more active at night right now. She will eventually grow out of this.

Now, for the reflux: Try nursing her in a more upright position. You may need to burp her more than the average baby. I had to do this with my son, or he would spit up almost everything he ate. I had to make sure his feet were way below his head so that he would swallow better and all the milk would enter his stomach instead of getting trapped in his esophagus (swallowing pipe that runs from the back of the mouth to the top of the stomach). If air gets trapped in the stomach, it won't allow the milk to come down from the esophagus into the stomach, and it will come right back up, so make sure gravity is helping you nurse. My son was big and heavy, so I had to sit upright, prop his body with pillows, and nurse him with his head higher than the rest of his body. This also kept him from getting ear infections.

Some of the fussiness might be gas, too, the source of the reflux. Try to help your baby eliminate the gas and this problem might get a whole lot better. Keeping the head up will help the gas escape out the mouth before it gets trapped in the stomach underneath too much milk.

It's not totally unusual for newborns to nurse even more frequently than every two hours. When they have growth spurts, they seem to never stop eating! You might try giving her a little water (this helps with the gas that gets trapped in her stomach and belly, too). She might be thirsty and not so much hungry. It's worth a try.

Now, it sounds like she is having a little trouble being outside the womb still. If she can't stand to lie down with being held, you probably need to swaddle her. This is a special way of wrapping a blanket firmly around her body, but you have to do it carefully so that her whole body is comfortable and you're not cutting off the circulation. Try looking up swaddling on the internet, or ask someone to show you how to do it. Seriously, when the baby is used to being held tightly inside your body for so long, the feeling of wide open space and cold air is very uncomfortable for them. Make sure she is not feeling any cold drafts, and try wrapping her snugly in a blanket so that she can feel the closeness on her arms and legs. This may soothe her enough so that she can sleep without being held.

Be patient. Every baby has her own personality and quirks. It takes time to get to know them. And just when you think you know her, darn it, she surprises you! ( :

I hope everything works out to everyone's happiness. Enjoy!

Peace,
Syl

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V.S.

answers from Miami on

Have you read Happiest Baby on the Block? I would recommend it immediately. You can also rent the DVD from a video store. Also look at videos on You Tube under Happiest Baby on the Block, The 5 S's, Harvey Karp. I'm telling you, if you follow the 5 S's, it will change you and your babies life. It did ours!

I also wanted to add, at 6 weeks, a babies "bedtime" should be around 9pm. It is possible that she is extremely over-tired and that is why she is being fussy at 10pm. Try putting her to sleep earlier (start soothing etc around 8pm) and watch her carefully, if she starts getting sleepy put her down as soon as you see that first yawn or eye close. Do you swaddle? Swaddling worked wonders for my daughter (but not my son!).

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M.M.

answers from Orlando on

Hi, My second daughter was the same way..I became the pacifer for her and could never put her down. It only got better when I would tried to lengthen the feeding times by given her a pacifer and burping her really well. I think by nursing mine so much so frequently it seemed to soothe her but gave her too much milk and increased the spiting up..it was a vicious cycle.. Anyway, I hope that this helps, it really maded a difference for us.

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J.S.

answers from Miami on

if she is eating too much, then then makes the reflux worse, so perhaps you need to find another way to comfort her, no?

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W.S.

answers from Tallahassee on

Our six month old baby boy still won't stay asleep when laid down. Wish I could help. Pansy

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T.B.

answers from Miami on

Y., my first daughter did this too. And, she spit up often but babies spit up so I can't say anything about reflux. My ped said spitting up was normal. The only thing I can say is that babies find tremoundous comfort at the breast and if she is falling asleep at the breast and not adequately taking in the milk to satisfy her, then you need to wake her up to get her to actively suck. The rich hindmilk, which comes after the milk stops "letting down" is what will satisfy your baby. Encourage your baby to stay awake long enough to be satisfied. Also, what I did with my first daughter was hold her long enough to be sure she was asleep. Sometimes they are just "resting" and not really asleep so once you lay her down she is aware that she's no longer in mommy's soft warm arms. It's a phase that will pass and getting her to sleep will get easier in time. Some parents believe you must lay the baby down, walk out of the room and let them cry themselves to sleep. I believe this method is cruel for the baby and torment for the mom who desperetly wants to hold her crying baby. If anything, go to your baby and rub her tummy or back until she is calm enough to fall asleep on her own...but don't let her cry it out.

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T.M.

answers from Orlando on

I think she is likely too young to be using you as a pacifier.

I remember being VERY frustrated with my little guy around 6-7 weeks old. He would nurse non stop for 4 or more hours each evening, giving me a couple 10-15 minutes breaks. I felt like either he was doing something wrong, or I wasn't producing the milk he needed so he must have been nursing in desperation to get food.

My pediatrician assured me that he was "cluster feeding" to prepare my body for his needs over the next week and so as he grew and needed my supply to increase. She was completely right. He would cluster feed, especially in the evenings, for a week or two and then things would settle down. This happened at 6-7 weeks, 3 months, between 5-6 months and again at 9 months. Right on track with his big growth spurts and developmental changes.

Let her nurse all she needs too right now. It will save you heartache next week when she's hungry and you are able to produce as much milk as she needs. Otherwise you may not have enough.

We had reflux problems too since my guy was a bit premature. Ask your pediatrician for help with this or possibly a referral to a gastroenterologist. We used medication to help my son until he was 9 months old and then his body finally matured enough to manage on its own. We also let him sleep in a bouncy seat until he was 5 months old, so he'd be more upright. And, our doctor had us add a tiny bit of rice cereal to a breastmilk bottle at bed time to help weigh the milk down. Good luck...soon these days will pass and your tiny, beautiful little girl will be growing up and you'll wonder where the time went.

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K.M.

answers from Miami on

Hi, first of all, her behavior is pretty normal. Remember that she was "held" in the womb for 9 months. So of course she's going to enjoy that out of the womb as well. The first 3 months should really be thought of as the 4th trimester. I second the recommendation for Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block. Save yourself the time and get the DVD. It's short, you can see the techniques for calming fussiness, and put them into practice immediately. The best techniques I found for my kids were the swing and the swaddle. The kiddopotamus swaddle is AWESOME and easy to use. Mine is from babies-r-us.

I would keep nursing her in the evenings if that settles her for now. 6 weeks is a major growth spurt time and you want to be sure your supply increases accordingly. I have a 3.5 month old and I've noticed during growth spurts all he wants to do is nurse, fill his tummy, spit up, and want to nurse more. But, then things calm down again. Most babies do have reflux. Try propping her up after eating. My son sleeps pretty well in the swing because it keeps him upright (I have a FP papasan cradle swing.). You might also have an overactive letdown, which is something I had too. See if these tips help:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html

You CAN'T spoil a baby. As she gets older, I promise the nursing will start to calm down and space out. And the spitting up will get better too. My older daughter spit up ALL THE TIME. She was a happy spitter and frequent nurser. It got tons better when she started sitting up on her own at 5 months.

I hope my suggestions help. Congratulations on your baby!

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