Pacifier Help Needed

Updated on May 09, 2009
G.M. asks from Strongsville, OH
33 answers

My 22 month old daughter will not give up her pacifier. Does anyone have any suggestions on what worked for them?

Thanks!!

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So What Happened?

I kept telling my daughter for 2 months that when she turned 2 she would be a big girl and pacifiers are for babies and she doesn't need the pacifier anymore. She turned 2 last week. On Saturday we lost the pacifier but it just so happened we had a friend w/a baby who was visiting our house that same day. My daughter thinks that we gave her pacifier to that baby. She asks for it now and then but then remembers we gave it to the baby. So far it has been much easier than I thought it would be.

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J.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I told my twin sons that we were giving them to babies that didn't have any. Then I took them to the maternity ward to look at all the newborn babies "who needed their help". They felt like heros, and only complained a few times. My daughter on the other hand, I just had to throw them away and bear with it. Kids usually get over it with in a week. Whatever you do, be strong and GOOD LUCK!

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M.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I just got my 2 year old to stop using her paci. I cut a hole in it when she was not looking. Then when she put it in her mouth and took it out I told her that her teeth were so sharp that she bit a hole in it. She hasn't had one since. It did take 2 weeks for her to stop asking about it though. So just remember it will be hard at first!

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A.B.

answers from Cleveland on

G., Cut that tip off ! It works like a charm. She will try to suck, with no satisfaction anymore, just like the other's who posted stated. I've been in the In Home Childcare biz for 16 yrs., and that technique is the quickest & least traumatic. Simply telling them that the "binky" is broken, and even let her take it and put it in the garbage can. Therefore, it's on her terms, sorta.....with a little help from you/mom. And if/when she asks simply say "Honey, remember, it's broken and in the garbage". Within a day or two she will have forgotten about it. Also, replacing that with maybe a blankie, dolly, or other soft stuffed friend will help with comfort if/when she may need it. Hope this helps and Good Luck, A..

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A.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Well, if you aren't in an absolute hurry for it, you could do what we did. My son was so excited about his second birthday, and we kept reminding him that he will be a big boy when he's 2 years old (as we're again doing for his 3rd birthday!) We gave him at least a month's worth of daily reminders that after his birthday he couldn't have the paci anymore because he wasn't going to be a baby. At the time, he was only taking it at night-time. So, with some extra reminders the few days before, he had no problems since he was the big boy now! In any case, good luck and let us know what works!!

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R.P.

answers from Youngstown on

it is easy... take them all away

you can't do that with a thumb sucker

we kept losing ours - then only one remained and it got lost SOMEHOW!!!!! We found it (right where I put it) under the box springs and it had a cut in it! Can you believe it?????

The first couple days are hard - but it gets easier with time... just like anything else that gets lost or dies!

You are the one in charge not a 2 year old (or for that matter not a 17 year old)

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Does she understand you well? People have written with ideas like having her give it to a baby, put it under her pillow for the "pacifier fairy", have her build a bear and put it inside so she always has it but can't use it.
But, if she's not ready it's not a big deal. As long as you aren't letting her use it 24-hours-a-day, only for nap and night, it's not going to hurt her teeth or anything :) My 2.5-yr-old son still uses his for sleep and dentist and pedi said not to force him to give it up yet.

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L.G.

answers from Cleveland on

Gradually cutting the tip off worked for us. At first I didn't cut off enough...when I finally got to the point of just enough my daughter stuck it in her mouth and immediately took it out and just looked at it weird. She was done with it within 2 days or so. I only cut 2 or 3 of them and hid the rest. Hope this helps :-)

T.H.

answers from Cleveland on

When I was trying to break my daughter of the binki, we had to just get rid of them. A few naps and a few bedtimes were rough but once she realizes it is GONE and there are NO more, she will be fine! Good luck. You also could put it on the window sill for the binki fairy to give to another new little baby or pass them along to some new little baby you guys know. Obviously they really will not use the used biknki but makes your little one feel like she is sharing, helping the new little baby by giving away hers since she is a BIG GIRL!!!

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K.R.

answers from Cleveland on

At 24 months I hid all the pacifiers and told my son that there weren't anymore. Fortunately, he was okay with this. Prior to that he would hide pacifiers all over the house. After 24 months, when we would come across one I would tell him that's for his baby cousin because pacifiers are for babies. Fortunately, he was okay with this also. Also, I had a friend who would cut the end of the pacifier and tell her son that it was broken and they had to throw it away. He was excited to help throw it away.

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L.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

G.,
She won't go to college with it. Don't sweat it, she'll give it up in her own time. I have four children, two of them were suckers, one his thumb the other her two fingers. It was impossible to take those away. My pediatrician and dentist were not concerned. They usually give it up when other children take notice. My daughter is 8 and she just stopped sucking her fingers. It gave her comfort when she was tired or upset, she started hiding behind a blanket so no one would see. My son was in kindergarten and both he and my daughter stopped on their own without a fight. Cherish her young age. My older two are 18 and planning to go away to college, it happens so fast.

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M.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I just went thru this a couple weeks ago. I also wasn't sure what I should do either with my 26 month old son. He was clearly attatched to his "B". But I only let him have it at naptime and bed, or if he was just too obnoxious in the stores, (i needed to get things done without a screaming boy!) So, about 2 months before this Easter, I started telling him Easter was coming up and all the new baby bunny's needed "B's" and that the Easter Bunny would be so happy if you gave them to the bunnies. I also told him, he would get a nice little Easter basket from the bunny. He actually was really excited about helping the baby bunnies and we told everyone, and just kept talking about it a lot. I just didn't want to be completely shocked, or forget "my plan". Easter morning came and i made a little basket he could put them in and that was it. The week after, he asked for it but i just simply reminded him where they were and he never cried.
My advice is basically give her a little warning and set a fun little time and just do it. It's not that bad, I promise!
M.

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K.B.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter was absolutely ADDICTED to her pacifier. So much so that she started teething and I could not get her to give it up but she was drooling so much from teething it was causing a rash under her pacifier that hurt her. She would cry with it in her mouth because the rubbing of it against her mouth hurt but she would cry with it out of her mouth because she wanted it. I finally decided that she was going to cry either way so I hid every single pacifier and let her cry and did my best to console her but let her know she was a big girl and Mommy didn't want to give a big girl a pacifier. It took three days but after the third day she forgot about it and the nightmare was over.

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K.W.

answers from Columbus on

hi G.,
i just saw this suggestion and it's so appropriate for EARTH DAY tomorrow.
Tell her your family is going to grow a new "passy (pacifier) tree" in the yard. everyone go out, dig a hole, put ALL passies in the hole, cover and water everyday. (you're suppose to plant something that grows fast, like crab grass-chia pet seeds) on top so that when you water it, daily, as a family you see immediate results.
let me know if it sounds crazy or what happens if you try it!

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A.S.

answers from Canton on

My son was the same way with his bottle. I ended up just having to throw them all away. We had a couple VERY rough nights but he eventually got over it. It is a very hard thing to do. It will break her heart when you take it! Good Luck!

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K.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

We just recently went through this! My daughter is almost 3, tho. The paci was my daughter's best friend, literally!! I tried all of the suggestions that people gave me, but the best advice was just get rid of it, and be done. Throw them all away so that you are not tempted to give in during a meltdown. I was very nervous and didn't know how we were ever going to make it. We had 2-3 rough days, but then that's it. I told her Swiper the Fox took them all and we can't get them back. I was worried that she wasn't going to understand things like giving them to babies, or to the Easter Bunny, so I had to think of something that she connected with,and Swiper worked wonders! Good luck, I think you will be surprised at how smooth it goes.

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M.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

The advice given to me, which worked like a charm, was to cut the tip off. Then every 3-5 days cut a little more. Eventually she won't get the same satisfaction from it and will give it up on her own. My daughter forgot it at my in-laws after it had was cut down quite short (shea was about 18-20 months) and we told her we were sorry but is was gone. She didn't even cry at that point and we were done with it. What a relief. I hope you find a good solution for your daughter.

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K.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

This worked for both of our children. Starting now, with the goal of 2 years, begin by telling your daughter that pacifiers are for babies, and that 2 year olds don't have them. For our son, we told him to throw it in the fireplace. The morning of his second birthday, he got up walked into the living room, and threw it in the fireplace. Being December, we had a fire that night, and burnt it up. For our daughter, she threw hers in the wastebasket. Luckily, it was also trash day, and so out to the curb it went. Much praise followed both children, both times. Lots of encouragement and hugs too. We played up that they were going to be big kids at 2, and that big kids just didn't have them.
Best Wishes !

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B.W.

answers from Dayton on

I started slowly cutting off the tip of my son's pacifier. As the end he sucked on got shorter, his interest in it waned. He tossed it aside eventually. If you make the final giving up their idea, it goes much smoother.

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T.D.

answers from Columbus on

My son was 27 months before he gave his up, I tried taking it from him, cutting the end so he had no suction, however, he would throw a fit SO bad that he would make himself sick. So we limited the paci to only bed and nap time. Finally he got to the point where he would do nothing but chew on the paci which in turn put holes in it and he eventually chewed it in half. I told him it was broke.... from then on out he stopped asking for it, it has been about a month and a half since we gave up the paci and he is doing great! Every child is different, good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Toledo on

My daughter was about this age when we established "the binky jar." I just started putting her binkies in this glas jar (similar to a mason jar) that I kept on my dresser. As I would find them around the house, I would put them in there. Once they were all there, she had to ask for one, and the rule was established that they were only for bedtime. Knowing that they were there waiting for her was sort of a treat to her.

One day, shortly after her second birthday, as we were putting the binky away in the morning, she stuck her hand in the jar and grabbed them all out. I tried to stop her, but she just ignored me as she walked down the stairs holding all of her binkies in her little hands (none in her mouth) and through the house to the kitchen. She put them all in the garbage! When I asked her what she was doing, she said "Mommy, binkies are for babies, I'm a big girl." That was the end of the binky stage for her.

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J.A.

answers from Cleveland on

Monkeys! Tell her you are donating them to the baby monkeys at the zoo (that need them). Have her help you gather them all up and talk about how nice it is to give to thers in need.

Good luck,

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D.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

Set time limits and specific boundaries as to when/where it is allowed. Put clothing on her that has POCKETS. Allow HER to put the pacifier into her pocket when time is up and/or be able to take it out "when needed". I've seen this "security" work. I've watched kids take it out of their pocket, suck on it a few times and right back into the pocket. It's a way to set boundaries and allow THEM to be in control somewhat and learn to discipline themselves. Make SURE they adhear to the boundaries and talk about them WITH the child. That way, they have some input and con't feel like they're not being "striped" of that security.

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T.R.

answers from Fort Wayne on

G., I hate to say this because you will think my husband and me are cruel people, but we just took it away one day when my son was 21 months old....he woke up inthe morning and we just didnt give it to him anymore starting that day...YES he cried in front of the kitchen cabinet that we kept them in, and yes he was crabby for a day or two,,,but nothing tramatic. He didnt miss it by the end of the second day. I guess we just decided that it was time and that we are the parents and we gave lots of hugs and attention that day to make it a good day for him...lots of time in life he will have to go through things like this..we just took it away and showed him that we love him very much.

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M.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I don't know if this will help, but my son was using a pacifier at this age and I could not get him to quit. Before his third birthday, I told him that he would be too old for a pacifier and that on his birthday he would need to throw it away. So, the morning of his birthday he threw it in the trash and of course didn't miss it until bed time, at which time I told him it already went to the dump- our trash was picked up that day. He was unhappy, but he eventually went to sleep and that was the end of it.

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S.M.

answers from Indianapolis on

cut the end off the paci so sucking will not be enjoyable anymore. she will give it up instead of you taking it away.

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C.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

With my son we had started allowing the binky only at nap and bed times at around 18 months. Then, as each binky wore out, we would toss it and not replace it. When it came down to his last one, we started telling him that was the last one and that soon it would be gone too, and then he would be a big boy. When he had chewed a hole in it, I had tried to get him to give it up on his own. That did not work, so when he wasn't looking I threw it out. Then that night he looked all over for it and I told him his binky had to leave. Once he got to sleep he was fine. I think he might have looked for it one other night too, but he didn't really miss it.

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

My daughter only gets her passy at nap and bed time. I make it a point to take her passy away before she comes out of her room and I put it away up high so she can't get at it.

Good luck.

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E.C.

answers from Cleveland on

I'm a mom of 9 year old triplets and had anxiety over every stage from sleeping through the night to eating solid foods to the most recent worry, changing schools. What I have found is that every change is more difficult for you than your children. My daughter loved her pacifiers, one in her mouth and one in each hand, I always had a ziplock full of them everywhere we went...then one time while traveling (she was almost 3 and I was convinced she was going to have one in her mouth when she went to kindergarten!) I forgot them and she only had one and we lost that one! I panicked, she fell asleep...don't stress about it, it will work itself out! If you feel compelled to have her kick the habit just lose them, you both will live through it!

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L.H.

answers from Dayton on

I am glad you wrote, as I am going through the same thing with my 2 and 3 year old boys. I have started cutting the tip off of their pacifiers. My 3 year old gets a whole one and a "broken" one at night time. When they fall behind his bed he comes and crawls in with me. Next week he will get all broken 'suckies' and we will go from there. i just know that i will miss sleep for a couple nights. :)

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M.T.

answers from Cleveland on

G.,
My son was 3 so he was a bit older but we clipped the pacifier a little bit at a time when he didn't have it in his mouth. We had started out only letting him have it at nighttime and then when it was obvious he was VERY attatched to it we started the clipping. When it was too short for him he just said he couldn't have it anymore and threw it away. We had a rough couple of days after he realized it was gone for good, but after that it has been fine. We just said that his mouth was getting to big!! I hope this helps.

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D.F.

answers from Cleveland on

For my daughter, I waited until she was 18 months old, and then I would only let her have her "binky" during nap time and when she goes to bed at night. Then a month before she turned 3, I told her that the binky fairy would be coming soon. And that when she was ready, all she had to do was put her binky in this special spot on the counter in the kitchen. The binky fairy would come and take her binky so that the fairy could give her binky to a new baby that needs it. And the binky fairy would leave a present for her. This worked. We got her a barbie watch. At first she was excited about the present, but then she threw it and cried for a little bit. But I let her know ahead of time that this day would come. I let her decide which day to leave her binky out. She did it and was not mad at me. It only took her 2 - 3 days to get used to not sleeping with her binky anymore. She never asked for it because she new it was gone. Every child is different though. My daughter needed to know that it was going to happen ahead of time, she doesn't like surprises. Good luck!!

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G.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

I wouldn't fight her on it. She may just need a few more months before she's ready to give it up.

My niece Natalie had her "sassy" until she was 3. My sister had Natalie put all her sassys in a paper bag. She told her they were going to give all her sassys to the Easter Bunny, so he could put them in Easter baskets for all the babies who needed sassys for Easter. Then they had a party the night before Easter, a "Bye-Bye Sassy Party", and made a big deal out of it, because Natalie was such a big girl for saying bye-bye to sassy. She hasn't missed her sassy at all!

I did that with my son when he was 2. He got to where he would spit out his "paci" after he went to sleep, so I would sneak in and take it. He would wake up and look around for it, I could hear him fuss a little and go back to sleep. After about a month of doing this, I took scissors and snipped a small spot at the top of all his pacifiers. The first night I gave it to him, he said he didn't like it and wanted a different paci. He tried all the ones he had and didn't like any of them. After he decided he didn't like them, I told him we would have a party because he was growing so big and didn't need paci anymore. We had cupcakes and ice cream and he never missed them, either! We also put his pacis in a paper bag and told him we were sending them to a hospital so the new babies could have them!

Maybe try again in a month or so. I just stopped replacing the pacifiers when they got lost, so there were less and less. I told my son they don't make pacifiers for big boys, and kept reinforcing the idea the he was a big boy now. God Bless!

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A.K.

answers from Columbus on

I took my son's away when he was 18 months old. I just got rid of all them cold turkey..I was so nervous...and he was very attached. He never even cared :) Funny huh!?

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