Overly Emotional About Starting Kindergarten?

Updated on June 20, 2012
L.S. asks from Omaha, NE
15 answers

Hi Moms. Any advice or reassurance for moms who've had children start kindergarten? I'm not nervous about her abilities or leaving her at school or anything, But despite being super happy about this, I'm also really emotional about the fact that this milestone is upon us. Not only does she start school in less than two months, but she turns 5 a day later... two milestones are hitting me at once, and I'm an emotional wreck some days. I just keep remembering the day she was born and how quickly the time has passed. Then I realize it will go even more quickly once she's in school... Is it normal to be this emotional about these events? I've heard of moms tearing up when they drop off their child for the first day, but goodness - we're two months out and I've been sad/happy about this for months already. I'm not a mom who's overly worried about things, I think it's literally the fact that she's going. We've hit another chapter in our lives, and it's so hard to leave the first five years behind us. I just want to know I'm not crazy :) I can usually count on you, moms, to reassure me of that - ha ha!

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So What Happened?

Moms - thank you for all your kind words all ready. Good to know I'm not alone. I should clarify: I'm am SO incredibly happy for her to be going to school, and she's been a daycare child for years, so leaving her is not the sad part. I couldn't be happier for her, and I actually fought for her to go to K because of a date change they had in my state (since her b-day was so close). She's ready, and as much as I wish I could keep her a baby forever, I know she needs to blossom. So, I'm so happy, just worried that I was overly weepy for this event :) ha ha thanks again, Moms!

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answers from Columbus on

I used to get super sad about them growing up too quickly for me, too. But then I started thinking of what the alternative to growing up is, and I thought of the parents who don't ever get to see their children grow because of loss. So now I look forward to learning more of the person they are becoming, celebrate the stages they are in now, and remember fondly as much of their fleeting childhood as I can. Focusing on what's coming makes these transitions a lot easier!

7 moms found this helpful

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answers from Pittsburgh on

Totally normal--what you're feeling!

I have heard of moms doing a post-drop off breakfast/brunch for moral support. That's a good idea.

I think they should have Rapid Response Paramedics making the rounds to check on the new K moms in each district.

Do NOT let your child se you cry. STIFF upper lip and all that. You can crumple into a blathering puddle once she's gone for the day/morning.

We all go through it. Hang in there!

We give our kids roots and wings.
This is the beginning of the wings part.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbus on

Oh my gosh I can totally relate!! When my baby boy got on that bus for the first time - he went to pre-school for speech therapy - the second that door closed and I turned away from the bus so he couldn't see me, the tears came gushing!!! I missed him so much. And similar circumstance - he was four with his fifth birthday just a few days later:(

My kids are in high-school now and that first day of getting on the bus still gets to me!! And my "baby-boy" is a Senior this year - so, yes, the years will fly by!!!!

And NO, you're not crazy - you sound pretty normal to me!! All I can suggest here is to never, NEVER let her see just how MUCH this is affecting you!! It will only make it harder for her. Of course my son knew I was going to miss him but I reassured him he would have fun, etc. I would not linger with the hugs and kisses at the bus; I tried to be tough on the outside and he was a little trouper and got on the bus and went to school with no problems. He had absolutely NO clue to what extent of an emotional wreck I was about the whole thing!!!!

Just face each new milestone one day at a time and enjoy every moment.

Good luck!!!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Of course they are huge milestones and I bet your child cannot wait to be a big girl and be in school. It is ery exciting for her.

Please don't let your fears be known to her. She sees this as her growing up and as a parent, you see it as her growing up and before you know it she'll be going to college.

We have to learn to let go and learn to love every stage. My daughter (only child) will be a senior in high school next year! I am so excitied for her and of course, part of me is torn because my baby will be heading off to college in the fall of 2013. It is a part of life we have to deal with.

I would advise you to get involved with volunteering at the school. However, if your daughter is the clingy type, you don't want to be volunteering in her classroom because she needs to be in that environment and learn.

I also substitute teach and there are some moms who still bring the children to the classroom in the 1st grade and hang out until way past the morning bells, come back for lunch and one even goes outside for recess. It is obvious that this hurts her daughter because instead of playing with friends, etc, mom is ALWAYS there.

Hang in there with your emotions, you are normal. Just don't let your daughter pick up on your sadness... make this her adventure.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Albany on

If it makes you feel better, just reading this makes me tear up, so you're not alone in crazyland! :) My daughter and I are in the same boat- she starts K in Sept then turns 5 in Oct. Every day I look at this beautiful, incredible, capable young girl and I just can't believe that's my little baby. And I'm so happy for her and so excited for her to start kindergarten!!! I've always loved watching her grow and try new things and become who she is, but yeah, when I stop for a second and think about it, those first five years just flew by and even though there was nursery school and pre-k, this is it. The "official" start of school. It's a biggie. I know we'll get through it and it's going to be great but yes, it's a very emotional time!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

Watching our "babies" grow up is very bitter sweet.
You will cry on the first day of kindergarten for your grandchild as well :) ---- Knowing how her mommy is feeling on that day.

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answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter starts kindergarten in August too! I have been known to tear up at little things. I know I will be emotional seeing her go in to the big school! I got kinda teary at the last pre-school drop-off last week too. And the week before that was my godsons 1st communion, I was so choked up through the whole thing. All those milestone moments really get me! You're not alone.

(LuvMyGirl LOL I kinda teared up just reading this TOO!)

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on


I'm right there with you, some days. :) My son went to a great preschool, and I am friends with the women that run it-- have been for years. It was like an extension of family. Now, we have to turn our babies over to strangers (!!!). We have no guarantee that these teachers will be kind, empathetic or love on our little ones and guide them as patiently as we would, right?

What helps me it to remember that this is good for my son. We don't talk about kindergarten too much right now, and I would encourage you to do what I'm trying to do-- just stay present and enjoy the summer as much as you can with your little ones. We have to 'set the tone' for our kids and let them know that it's okay for them to get bigger and venture out into the world without us. Maybe you can find a friend to commiserate with? You've done a good job with your girl up to this point in preparing her for school. Do something nice for yourself, too-- milestones should be celebrated. Hopefully, having a fun something to look forward to will help balance the experience for you.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Hmmm my son is only 2 and just reading your post made M. tear up .... I am going to have a hard time as well. so yes, you are definitely not alone!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Everyone is different. I believe in be aware of your feelings, validating them for yourself. As long as you in enough control of your emotions that it does not send the wrong message to your child. This is an important milestone. Plan some things for you to do that meet your needs whether that is physical exercise, creative outlets, volunteering or other. Having our own activities helps us ride out these emotional milestones :)

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answers from Minneapolis on

I'd like to add my voice to the, "If you're crazy, then so am I!" camp. :-) It's hardest with the first one. Even though we know we are doing the best thing for them, it seemed perfectly normal to me when I was emotional about it. I totally identify with you feeling this emotional about it this far ahead too: my 3rd child is starting 1st grade in the fall, and I am already mourning the "official" end of the babyhood! I know my kids are thriving and loving elementary school, but it's hard to believe how quickly it has gone by. Hang in there, you'll be alright after that first bus trip!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

I was very very emotional with my first because she was not wanting to leave me and it was harder. but my second was so social and was ready, so it was hard to be sad for her...... I think your not crazy, it will be an adjustment.... volunteer and be involved, it will be so fun to watch the process for both of you.

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answers from Chicago on

Hmm, perhaps time for another baby? :-)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Did she go to preschool? That's how most kids/parents ease into it.

If not, they usually get into the routine pretty quick and they have a lot of fun having so many kids their age to play with in a supervised setting.

You will probably be a little sad, but you will also enjoy your time without being on mom duty. Relax and enjoy your new phase!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

I was not emotional about it but I don't get real sappy about milestones. I think a lot of it comes from your preg. hormones. You are going to be really happy she is in school when your new baby comes - thank your stars for that ;)

1 mom found this helpful
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