Other Mothers Advice with Meds for Add

D.,
My son (almost 7) has ADHD. We tried Adderol first and had the same thing happen. At first it was great but after awhile, he got moody, wouldn't eat or do anything. He is now on Concerta which is drastically better. He still has a lot of energy, but is able to focus on things when need be. In less than 6 months, he went from barely passing Kindergarten to performing above 1st grade level. You may just need to talk to his doc about a different med. Adderol isn't right for all kids.

Another thing that has really helped my son is structure. He does very well when he knows what to expect. He is beginning to learn how to deal with his ADHD without meds. I don't give him the pills unless he is going to school.

A lot of it is trial and error. If one thing doesn't work, try something else. You will be able to find something to help him.

T.

D.,

Let's start with the weight loss. This is due to the fact that meds for ADHD are actually amphetamines (uppers). In everybody for all amphetamines they cause you to loose your appetite (that's why they are the first ingredient in most OTC diet pills). Secondly, I want to know who diagnosed your son, a PCP, a teacher or a psychiatrist. ADHD sympotms can mimic other issues, aka food allergies, metabolic disorders, etc.
My first suggestion would be to see an allergist to rule out all food allergies. If this comes up negative, I would request a fasting blood test to rule out other basic metabolic disorders.

I worked with true ADHD kids for years, and have been watching the instances of ADHD diagnoses rise over the years. I think that many of the diagnoses are inaccurate but because ADHD is one of the more popular and better known diagnosis, it causes children to get pigeon holed into this diagnosis.

Okay if the blood test comes up negative, I would request a sleep study. Believe it or not there are many studies that indicate that ADHD behviors are because of sleep deprivation. I don't mean he doesn't go to bed early enough, what I mean is that these children are either snoring or suffering from sleep apnea and are waking themselves up frequently during the night making them overly tired. Think about it, how do you act when you are tired. Irratable, irrational, many of the symptoms that ADHD children exhibit. Also, you add the amphatime meds (which would be like you adding coffee) you get the exact symptomology. An easy test for you would be to listen to your son sleep. If he is snoring, this may be the case. Many people think that snoring in kids is normal. It is not. It may be symnptomatic of other things like asthma, or enlarged adnoids (the glands next to the tonsils). If he is snoring, I would suggest looking into asthma, airborne allergies, or the enlarged adnoids. If you get this health problem corrected (aka antihistamines for allegies (or even an air filter), get the astma under control, or get the adnoids/tonsils removed) the child stops snoring and thus waking himself up, and guess what, the symptoms disappear like magic.

If you need the studies, e-back and I will find and forward the studies to you to talk with your doctor about. I don't blame you for feeling guilty about the meds, but I do suggest that you rule EVERYTHING else out that could be causing the issues before getting a firm diagnosis of ADHD (what you are calling ADD, and the fact that your doctor called it ADD instead of ADHD scares me because very few doctors call it ADD anymore. ADHD is the official diagnosis now).

Good luck, and if you need to talk, e-back.

L.

HI D. MY NAME IS A. IVE BEEN AND STILL AM GOING THROUGH THE SAME THINGS YOU ARE GOING THROUGH WITH MY SON EXCEPT HE WAS 5 YRS OLD FROM THE MEDS TO THE THERAPISTS AND EVEN THE WEIGHT LOSS AND NO APPETITE HE WAS ON 4 DIFFERENT MEDS NOT AT ONE TIME.
HE WAS TAKEN OUT OF MY CUSTODY BY CHILDREN YOUTH AND FAMILY SERVICES HE WAS IN FOSTER CARE FOR 15 MONTHS(THE DOCTORS TOLD CYF THAT I WAS STARVING HIM BECAUSE MEDS CANT MAKE YOU LOSE WEIGHT)I FINALLY GOT HIM BACK 2 WKS AGO HE IS THE SAME SIZE EATS THE SAME ACTS THE SAME IN SCHOOL AND AT HOME.THE FOSTER PARENTS SAID HE DIDNT HAVE THOSE PROBLEMS SO I LOOK LIKE A BASKET CASE.
WHAT I WOULD RECOMMEND IS KEEPING HIM IN THERAPY BUT TRY TO FOCUS ON HIM AND NOT YOU EVEN IF THE THERAPIST TRIES TO.IF THE MEDS ARENT HELPING HE S STILL HAVING OUTBURSTS IN CLASS AND THINGS TO THAT NATURE TALK TO HIS DR. ABOUT TAKING HIM OFF OF IT AND DEFINATELY MAKE SURE THAT HIS PEDITRICIAN KNOWS ABOUT HIS WEIGHT LOSS AND LOSS OF APPETITE.AND FOR THE DISCIPLINE I WOULD RECOMMEND PRAISE AND REINFORCMENT INSTEAD OF HOLLERING IVE NOTICED WITH MY SON THAT WORKS BUT WITH SCHOOL THERES NOT MUCH YOU CAN DO ITS HIS DISEASE.DO YOU HAVE AN IEP FOR SCHOOL?IF NOT I CAN GIVE YOU INFORMATION ON THAT.IF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS ITS AN INDIVIDUALIZED EDUCATION PLAN.I DONT KNOW IF I WAS MUCH HELP FOR YOU BUT IF YOU EVER NEED TO TALK YOU CAN EMAIL ME AT ____@____.com OR CALL ME ON THE TELEPHONE ###-###-####.

Hello D., my name is E.. I was in you shoes a few years ago... my son is now 6 and doing much better. I, like you, dreaded the thought of meds and put it off for many years. It is incredibly difficult in this area to find counseling let alone a psychiatrist to prescibe meds. He was diagnosed ADHD, ODD, and at one point they questioned Bi-polar, but we are beyond that now. It was a long road and I had to do a lot of research and speaking up on my own. It seems it is such a taboo to have a mental illness especially for a child. Everyone is so quick to blame the parents or like you said say they are not diciplined. I used to cry constantly because of people's comments like that. And my son too retreated to his own world and had trouble making friends. To make a long story short, he gets counseling through ETC. He has a TSS, or someone 1:1 with him at school all day every day. He is on a med called Focalin, which is a derivitive of Ritilin. It works really well most of the time but as they grow etc it needs adjusted. I really like it because you dont have to consistantly give it. So on the weekend you dont have to, so they will eat. My son too lost weight and doesnt have a real good appetite. In the summer I only give it to him when necessary, if we are going out where he needs to behave or something. I hope this helps you. We can talk more if your interested or have other questions.

Hi D.,

I don't have a whole lot of personal experience with this problem, but I am a trained Naturopathic practitioner, and my understanding is that you can get very good results with a change of diet. People with ADD are very sensitive to food additives - dyes, preservatives, synthetic compounds found in foods grown from conventional agriculture... You could try changing his diet to an all natural, organic foods diet, and put great emphasis on raw fruits and vegetables. You can make wonderful tasting freshly made juices with these, if you have a good juicer. This will give him the vitamins and minerals he needs to create a harmonious balance in his nervous system, and most kids really like eating stuff raw when they can. Avoid highly processed foods, like commercially made bread and cake products, chips, sodas, etc., and give him mostly raw fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, whole grains and some meat and eggs and fermented milk products. You can google "raw foods", "living food diet", "organic foods", etc. to find more information on the subject. I have spoken with people who were successful, just cutting out the additives in the diet. Hopefully you will be able to reduce his meds, and someday eliminate them completely. It could be good for him to go through counseling, but if his chemical setup is going haywire because of the additives, it won't be nearly as effective. I hope this helps.

S.

I so feel your pain. My son was diagnosed with having ADHD which to me is similiar in ways to having ADD. First of all what medicine is he on?? You may want to check with the doc and see if he can put in something else. Check into other meds and read the side effects carefully. My son is on Concerta and it had possible side effects that raised a red flag to me, but I gave him the pills on a trial basis and thank GOD he never had the side effects. My son was in counseling too and to me it was a waste of time. I preferred that my son talk to me, and we dealt with his problems on our own. He has his moments where he gets in trouble but not like he did before he was diagnosed with ADHD. You should get his medicine changed or take him off, if he has no appetite and is losing weight that is not a good sign. Let me know what happens. I will keep you in my prayers.

I'm also a single mom of a 10yr old daughter with ADHD. She was diagnosed several years ago. I didn't like the idea of putting her on meds so for the first couple of years I took the therapy/counseling approach, but as time went on it just wasn't enough. Everyday was a problem in school. She didn't become violent, but she could never sit still or follow directions. She constantly figeted and her eyes were always wondering around the room. I finally told her pediatrician it wasn't getting better, it was getting worse. He sent a letter to the school saying she should be tested. He said they should've already done it themselves seeing how much trouble she was having, but they didn't. It still took about six months for the school to do the testing after I kept persisting. They finally came to the conclusion that she needed extra help in school. Meanwhile her pediatrician suggested taking her to a psychiatrist, not just therapy. The psychiatrist diagnosed her with ADHD as well. I had done some research and was concerned about the effects most meds have because they are stimulants. So I talked to the psychiatrist about Strattera, the only non-stimulant currently available. My concern was because most ADD/ADHD meds cause side effects like lose of appetite and my daughter, although very tall for her age, was underweight. I didn't want her losing weight. Between accomodations in the classroom, therapy, and Strattera things started to get a little better. But after 2yrs on Strattera it just wasn't working anymore. Different dosages were tried but nothing changed. So 2yrs ago her psychiatrist switched her to Adderal XR. I also insisted the school re-test her and develop an IEP. Fortunately my daughter didn't experience any weight loss. In fact she gained and is at her proper weight now. We continue a combination of Adderal XR every morning, therapy once a week, psychiatrist once a month, school social worker 3 times a month, guidance counselor when/if needed, IEP which includes accommodations in the regular classroom as well as special ed classes for areas like reading and math which are her toughest ones. I think all children are different and one med that works for one child may not for another. My daughter continues to have low self-esteem, but not as bad as it used to be. She had a lot of difficulty making friends but she does have a few now. It took a long time because most kids did and still do see her as'weird or stupid'(a couple of words that she has told me kids have called her). Even where we live parents choose to keep their kids at a distance from her. They act like she's diseased or something! Social stigmatism is still a problem, but I think that's because a lot of people are still not educated about ADHD and tend to think that some parents use it as an excuse for their childs/childrens behavior. But it is not an excuse! It is valid and has been legally determined as a disability. The schools are also legally obligated to test children that are having extreme difficulties and are legally bound to offer them the educational help they need. For social interaction with friends and because she is an only child she has joined Girl Scouts(2nd yr now) and just started Karate in Sept. She has made some significant improvements. She will always be ADHD(evidence of symptoms have been there since birth), but with my continued effort and encouragement and involvement in her school life, as well as being her advocate, she will continue to get the help she needs. Talk to your son's pediatrician or family doctor and ask for recommendations for a psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist. Also another thing that helped me to educate myself and in turn educate her teachers(cause they didn't understand how to handle her either)is a organization called CHADD(Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder). They may even have a local support group in your area. (www.CHADD.org) To get the full benefits of the group you can become a member. If you can not afford the membership, you can fill out what they call a Matt Cohen scholarship fund application and your membership will be free. That's how I became involved. And please DO NOT tell him the state will take him away! That will make matters worse and the state DOES NOT take a child away just because they have ADHD! Good luck to you and your son. If I can be of further assistance my email is : ____@____.com

my nephew had add and is on meds and lost weight and does not eat much. my oldest son's teacher tried to say he has add cause he doesnt focus in school well one saturday @ my 5 year olds soccer game i was talking to another mom and she told me about this diet and i went online and looked @ it. I ordered the info and with in 24 hrs of starting it i noticed a big change. even his asthma has gone away. Not every kid has ADD, but what you eat can affect you. certain dyes in food can cause problems as other things. Here is the webite for the diet - http://www.feingold.org/

now this diet doesnt work for every one but it doesnt hurt to try. good luck

Hi D.,
I don't know enough about the actual chemistry of medications to suggest something, and the only person who should be giving you that advice is your son's doctor. If you are not happy with your son's doc, I would try finding a pediatrician that specializes in treating kids with ADHD. Usually your local hospital's doc referral center has profiles on docs that work for that hospital and in the local area, and you can get information on what the doctor specializes in.

2nd, many responses told you to get an IEP. Thats a GREAT idea. It does not however mean that your child is necessarily learning disabled. Ask you son's school guiadance counselor for a referral to the school psychologist. Once you start the process and sign a permission form, the school psychologist will evaluate how your son functions, primarily in a school setting, and will recommend what he or she thinks will help your child learn best. Then, an IEP is written, telling your son's teachers exactly what they need to do to help him along. If he doesnt qualify for an IEP, and he may not, request a 504 Plan, which is similar, and provides accomodations for kids with medical disabilites.

Good Luck.
Email me if you have any questions about the process.

My son has ADHD as well. He takes meds and they work for a time then they stop. This is our second try with different medication.

Medication has really improved my sons life. If he went without it, he would be 50 times worse then he is now. My son gains and loses weight on his meds, but normally stays within a ten pound range.

If he isn't eating much, starting giving him pediasure drinks, or the nutri-pals (Great stuff!) to help get him some vitamins in his system. My son picks at things all day. Smaller snacks frequently might help.

His teachers should be able to handle your son, whether he talks back or not. Have you considered getting an IEP (Individualized Education Plan)? You should, even if he goes into a special ed. classroom those teachers are much more able to handle your son's ADD.

Believe me, I know how you are feeling. If you are worried about his meds, either change them or take him off of them. Just to warn you though, within three weeks of taking him off the meds, you will notice a drastic change in his behaviorial issues.

If you try a medication called Concerta (it's long acting ritalin) it might help better then the Adderall. My son hasn't nearly lost any weight, he is eating a little more and his attention span is much better.

Hope this helps and if you ever need any other advice about meds, by all means email me.

Hi,
I myself have a mild case of ADD and growing up my best friend has an extreme case of ADHD. What you described sounds almost exactly like her actually. Her parents being Dr.'s have vast resources that the normal person doesn't have. However I myself have experience with taking aderal. I didn't do well on it quite frankly. It never seemed to help my real problem, focusing. But then we tried Concerta and it worked wonderfully! A few of my other friends also have ADD and take it as well with success. Maybe you should try it. Also my mother is a learning support teacher for both high and low level children and is extremely educated in this area. So through her I've seen a lot of this as well. Maybe you should have your son tested for learning disablities. I know a lot of parents have an issue with this b/c they don't want their child "labeled". But in my experience I was never made fun of for going to a support class, one of the most popular girls in my high school was in my support class, and none of the other kids I went to school with were ever made fun of for going. I did feel better about myself b/c I was actually understanding the material. There's also the possibility that he may be to smart and is getting bored in class therefore acting out. If you'd like to talk more please feel free to call me, my number is ###-###-####. I hope this helps! :-)
Good Luck,
A.

Hi D. Z,
I already feel connected to you because im a L. Z...lol....my son too has ADD. We went through a few meds and different dose levels before we came to the right one. First thing you need is a GOOD DOCTOR! They need to fully understand what he is going thru. My son lost weight on the first meds he was on, had headaches the whole nine yards. I went back to the Dr, we tried a different med and a different dose. Now he is good. The body needs to adjust to the meds as well, so it takes time to see if it works.
The eating and losing weight is a definate side effect, but make sure he is eating at dinner and make sure he gets a good breakfast before school. You can at least monitor those times and see that he is getting some nutrition. Also, you may see that now that it is fall/winter, he wont be going outside as much and not coming in for meals, snacks, etc. I found my son lost more in the summer because he was out playing with his friends more and didnt come in for lunch or snack and he was sweating alot in the heat. The Dr is there to help you so dont feel weird about going back and saying your concerns. A good Dr. will take the time to get it right for him. Also, ask your Dr. about the other stuff. The stuttering and low self asteem. They may have some advise or know of someone better to talk to. Not every counsler is the same and some specialize in kids alone...know that they may need to know some aspect of your backround with Dad, but all in all, its about your son.
As for the crying and feeling stupid. I think every child feels that way at one time or another. Heck, even i feel that way sometimes! I have a open door with my son that he can come to me anytime and talk. For the most part it works. My son is xtra sensitive too, so i work twice as hard to make him feel good and know he is NOT stupid. Does your son need extra help with math? Get flash cards. Reading? My son and i read alot together, he reads a page or two, than i read...im right there to help sound out the words that are tough and gently correct and mistakes. Its important he feels safe with you. Helping him a bit more at home with the fundementals may help. If he does better at home he will feel more confident at school. Kids can be SOOOO mean! He is going thru the struggles of having a speach problem plus the kids teasing. His school should also offer a counsler that could maybe talk with him about how he feels too, one on one.
D., dont be too quick to blame the ADD for everything. My son sometimes needs to be explained to in a way he understands, not always the "adult meaning" if that makes sence. I have a tendency to break things down in "kid terms" that they can understand more. Sometimes i even have to slow down on my directions on doing things. ex. go take the laundry out of the dryer, than come back to me for the next thing....make sence? Work with him little by little, with suttle differences, and you hopefully will notice changes. I hope this has helped in some way!!!
HUGS!
L. Z.

Hi, D.

I know how frustrating this is because i am going through the samething with the meds issue. My daughther has ADHD. She had taken addrell but it made her violent and mean. Know she takes concerta and it works great she also takes tenex for her aggression and clondine for her sleep. Your sone just needs to get on the right conbination of meds and he should do better and he also needs therapy.

If you ever need to talk my email is ____@____.com
L.

hi
my daughter also has adhd i have gone threw the same stuff with my daughter she has sleep tremors but the meds she is on now she has not even had one yet knock on wood
we tryed alot of them our doctor says that they out grow the medcinr=e you usually have to up it by the next year or switch to a diffrent one we just in sept switched to the patch daytrana its great no meds in the mouth just a simple patch i love it she loves it this year she likes her teachers and she is actually doing her homework
if you want you canwrite me back about anything

First and foremost, don't beat yourself down! You are doing a great job. However, I'm firmly against medications for children for A.D.D and hyperactivity. I think that maybe you need to put him in counseling again, and if your failed relationship with his father comes up in the sessions...say "that topic is not up for discussion! This is about my son's needs!" Not all therapists will act in such a non-professional manner. You could also look into getting him a tutor at home. This way, it will keep his need for additional help a private matter so the other children won't make fun of him! There is a great web site (www.kidzone.com) and they offer all kinds of activities for all age groups to teach your children. This may be a good tool for you to help your son, and it is a neat way to make learning fun again. Sounds to me like he has lost the fun in learning!! All in all, I think you are doing all that you know how to do, and maybe you could reach out to state sponsered programs that can help you. They are free for many families and offer tutors, special needs programs...etc. If you feel more in control, your son may begin to feel better, too.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I don't have experinace with my own child but I have worked in the schools with children with a varity of problems some of who had servere ADD/ADHD. One of my kids had it and he was one of the sweetest little boys, very artistic, very smart loved him to death but when he went off his meds becuase they were switching him over he was a terror. Although, he was still better than some of the kids who had no problems and were just bad.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I think that you really need to sit down and talk to your son's teacher's more about it exspeically becuase you think they aren't fully understanding what is going on with him. Its not helping that they are getting fustrated and putting him out. You can also request that the school put an aid in the class to help out during the hours when he's at his worse. Prehaps all he needs is a little individual attention to help him focus.

I do not agree with what one poster said about telling your son that the state will take him away. The state does take children away but you really have to be proved unfit. I have a cousin that the state took away but it more to do with his extreme anger issues and his mom being mentally handicapped and unable to provide the help he needed than him have tantrums in class. I get the feeling that you are really trying here so I don't really think it's a concern you should have. Even though you know its his ADD thats causing him to act like this you do need to set some ground rules for punishment or else it will just be a crutch for when ever he does something bad.

My last thought on this is that I think he does need consoling. You said the other kids are picking on him becuase of his stutter and that is probably hurting his self esteem along with his other problem. Do the other kids know he's on meds? They might be messing with him about that as well. The docs do ask about things like the relationship between you and your husband and how the family is run and its not becuase they are blaming you for his problems but it is proven that things in the home (unavoidable like divorce/breakup) can affect a child more than you think. Don't look at as them trying to point a finger at you, they are just trying to help by getting all the information.

Good luck :)

Well, I don't have any personal experience, so take this for what it's worth. :) But I've heard good things about the Feingold diet. I think it might be a good place to start before trying medication. http://www.feingold.org/ is the main site, though it's pretty much trying to sell you the book. I think there are some mailing lists and such out there where other parents who've done it can help you get started. Or you could try a simple elimination diet and maybe you'll find that there's one specific food trigger, like wheat or corn or red dye. So many things can do this! It's scary what's in our food these days.

Although you ended up with one bad counsellor, I wouldn't give up on that altogether. Keep trying until you find someone who fits with his needs. I'll bet having someone he's comfortable with opening up to will help, especially as he moves toward that age where he doesn't want to tell his mom everything.

Hugs to you! I know this must be so rough. :(

D.-
It is a struggle dealing with a child that has ADD/ADHD. I am raising my brother who is now 14yrs old that has ADD/ADHD.Was your son stuttering before the meds? When my brother was on Adderall he was having what they call tics wich was causeing stuttering and movements of his body.Everybody is different.While he is young I would personally let him stay in counseling at first they will ask you tons of questions and you may feel like you are the problem but, that is not the case.They have to know what is in the family history and present.Everything in our lives affect our children. But, still he has to know he has consequeces. EXSPECIALLY IN SCHOOL.
My brother I raised him his first 4 yrs to make a short story at 13 I got him back.School is where they have the most problems for that is where they get the most attention if it is bad or good attention they seem not to care. While your son is still young let him know if he causes too much problems in school they may try to take him away. I am not trying to scare you but, reality is that these days schools report everything.Know your rights and your sons rights in school. If he has special needs which he does they have to provide for his special needs.Do you get disability for him? If not you can and it will pay for his medicine,doctors,and counceling plus give you some cash.Unfortunatly with my brother he really had noone to care for him then the state of KANSAS took him away and put him in foster care then I finally got him thinking he would stay with family and I could help him. Right now he is in a place called RICA wich he has done much better but,we still have a ways to go for he is a teen and there is alot of pressure now days for teens. He comes home on weekends and holidays if he does good.Read online about his medicines and side affects and see how he is doing if he is not getting better keep pushing the doctor.Always let him know you love him!!!Has his lithium levels been checked?If not ask for your body naturally produces but,if It is low they will put him on lithium and it really helps.As they get older their body accepts the medicine but does not always react.My brother unfortunatly is on alot of medicine I had them take him off a few for he became a zombie.He does not fight or curse as much anymore and has some patience.But,just becuse you have a (disability) does not mean there are no consequeces.And always take time for yourself for if not it will only make it much harder for you.Any questions I am here.

Is your son currently followed by a doctor? I have been told recently that doctors have a single type mind and they only look at the single picture not the childs whole world. I would recommend that you find a doctor that will listen to your concerns.

I have found that if you dont suceed try and try and try again. I have gone thru the IEP process two separate time and finally got it and they still have not done all the correct testing. I have finally got my ducks in a row and have called for an emergancy IEP meeting and thing are going to be done. I am going thru the same thing and your son is a bit older then mine but, I am running into the same problems. With the phone call to come pick him up and the hitting and kicking the students and teachers. I am not sure what the diagnoses is going to be but that will be discussed on Nov 29th when we go back to doc.

Sorry I am rambling but I hope that this gives you the kick in the but (or the strength) that you need for today.

C.

My 8 year old has A.D.H.D and is on medication. He was on the adderall and had the same problems. He had to try another one as well before our insurance would cover Strattera. I really love it. It was a hard decision for us as well to put him on the medication but our therapist was really great and he told us that if you put them on the medication now and do counseling they won't be on it that long and they won't be teased because when kids are labled "bad" or "trouble" they get teased by classmates because it's not "cool" at this age. If yopu would like to talk more you can call me or email me and I can try to help. ____@____.com luck G.
Ps. I also changed diet before we did the medication if it's just mild I suggest that before med and as well as when he is on it.