Opinions on Returning to Work After a Long Stay at Home

Updated on June 03, 2007
T.R. asks from Tracy, CA
9 answers

I just am interested in moms that have stayed at home for a long period of time and then decided to return to work. It seems like the balance would be way to much to handle as I dont feel my spouse and kids would be willing to help once I return to work.

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So What Happened?

well, i am seeking professional help with my anxieties of working so hopefully after that, I will beable to be strong enough to go out and do it.

More Answers



answers from Anchorage on


I returned to work after 3 years at home. Albiet, not by choice. My husband sustained a career ending injury and that left me required to return to work to keep a roof over our head.

The first few weeks were very tough. But... your kids are old enough to contribute. And quite honestly, "I don't feel my spouse and kids will be willing to help" is hogwash. You don't have a choice in returning to work and they, therefore don't have a choice in helping to fill the gap when you are gone. Families are a unit... that help each other. It is not your JOB to do everything, when you have to work on top of it.

I strongly suggest you start a chores chart and equally divide out what needs to be done. Your children are old enough to actively help in the household management, as is your spouse. When I had to return to work, my spouse contributed 50/50 with me. (our daughter is only 3) There is absolutely no reason to settle for no contribution from your family, especially given your childrens age.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Provo on

I think first and foremost, if you're not already, seek medical help with the anxiety disorder. I have that as well, and it does affect your ability to get out there if left untreated. As far as the kids and hubby not helping, perhaps if you address what needs to be done in a family meeting and have them help decide who's going to do what, it'll go more smoothly. Have the kids make their own lunch, do their own laundry, etc. If they don't let them go to school without lunch or with yesterday's clothes, they'll probably only forget once if you don't bail them out. Sounds rough, but if they walk all over you, it's because you let them. I have social anxiety too, and it interfered with my job, so I feel where you're coming from.



answers from Great Falls on

I have recently returned back to work after staying home for two years with my daughter. My husband was not a big help at first with any of the household things that needed to be done. So I stopped doing his laundry. He is an auto mechanic. A few days of him having to wear his dirty clothes to work and he realized that he could do them himself. Your children are defintly old enough to help out. Give them each a list of chores that they have to do every week to help you, if they don't help you don't help them..example don't drive them to their friends houses if they haven't helped you all week.



answers from Los Angeles on

I was a stay at home mom for 6 years. I had to start working because my husband was laid off. We have switched roles. He now stays at home with our 2 year old son & takes our 6 year old daughter back & forth to school. It was hard at first, but I have been here for 4 months & I like it. It really makes a difference when you get a job that you like.
As soon as my husband finds work again, I plan on staying here, part time at least. It really helps me keep my sanity & gives me a little break. I used to have a small problem with social anxiety, but working & being around adults has helped me.



answers from Las Vegas on

Hello T.,
How about a stay at employment you make your hour's, you make your rules.
I just wanted to introduce myself real quick. My name is C. and I'm a mom of two kids. I've been a medical assistant for 9 years and decided it was time to start taking care of my own children. My oldest is almost 11 now. Anyway, I started my search to look for something to do from home. I was very skeptical, especially since I have family and friends in the legal field telling me horror stories on home based businesses. I wanted something legitimate. Well, much to my surprise I found something and just in time. I am still able to do my career full time and my home based business also.

I just wanted to share my web site with you. If you are happy at your job, that's awesome. But this can maybe help out and give you some supplemental income. Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom or wife and this is just what you're looking for. Well, I have done this for a three month's now around my children's busy schedules, and home schooling and it has been a true blessing for us.

C. Z.
mother of J'Lee, Bryce
Welcome to C. Z. Stayin Home and Lovin It!



answers from Los Angeles on

I can tell you from experience that if they won't help, it will be miserable for everyone. I know that sounds realy awful but I used to work outside the home too and I just couldn't balance kids, house and work... Not to say it CAN'T be done, it's just really hard. Perhaps have a family meeting and set a schedule for everyone to to do thier part, rewards and consequenses being part of it?

I started working frmo home a year and a half ago, a business that allows be to balance it all and still bring in a steady income... If you really want to work outside teh house, that too my cause some un-needed stress. It looks like there have been lots of Ideas below for you to work at home perhaps one of these could help you out too...

here's the site fot the companany I work for also


I think working from home is great for the busy woman living in a 2 income world. I love that there are so many choices too



answers from Boise on

Maybe a chore chart would help? It is nice that you have older kids. I bet they will help out. That is what families do! It can be hard to re-train a spouse who is used to a SAHM. I work only part time by choice, mostly from home with one night per week out of home. I still have to make sure that my needs are known. My husband is always willing if I just ask. They just tend to not notice that we are drowning in work! If you are still looking, I love my job. I'd love to tell you more....! good luck!



answers from Salt Lake City on

I just return to work after being home for 5 years. I still wanted to be home when my kids were. I looked at a lot of work at home jobs, but couldn’t find one I could do and be happy. My problem was having always worked in the auto body repair industry. I had no real data entree, so it was hard to find some thing to do at home AND we needed HEALTH Insurance. I found that UPS https://ups.iiserve.com/upsx/searchjobs.asp was hiring and they have lots of part time shift. I don’t sleep and all of my kids are in school full time, so I took the 10.15 pm the 3.00 am shift and love it. I still take the kids to school and sleep while the kids are at school. Be home and awake when they get here. My husband was not helpful, but insisted that I go back to work. There are thing that I just have to leave undone during the week, but what working mom does not There’s www.homejobstop.com that had lot of great job listing for at home work. I had to make the older kid responsible to get them self up and ready for school. Good luck

My family me husband, daughters 17, 12 and son 5



answers from Portland on

I think the balance is tough. How about working from home? Do you have skills where you can work from home? There's Ebay. I have a friend who makes money buying stuff at garage sales and reselling it at consignment shops or on Craigs List.

I work as a travel agent from home www.travelsavvyinc.com; but I've been a travel agent for 19 years so it's a pretty natural progression.

If you're crafty, that could take you far. You could sell your wares online through a place like Ebay.

Good luck.

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