Opinions Needed for Grandpa That Wants to Take My Son Deer Hunting with Him

I talked to one of my co-workers who comes from a hunting family. Her gut is that 5 is too early. So much could happen. Kids are unpredictable, no matter how well-behaved they are. It just seems like an unnecessary risk. It's not like they are out hunting for food for survival. It is a sport. Recreation. Non-essential.

For what it's worth. It weighed on my conscience enough to ask, so there is my 2 cents.

My dad and brother are both big hunters, so I know how you feel. My dad is really looking forward to taking his grandson hunting, but even he thinks it is best to wait until he is about 10yrs old, but it is your call. That way they understand hunting a bit better and it isn't so traumatizing (though some are even at that age). Also, they better understand the dangers that are associated with it without getting scared of it. If you feel comfortable maybe your son could, if he wanted and understood, watch the butchering. It sounds like your dad is old school (my grandpa was that way), but kids now a days aren't used too or aren't prepared for that kind of thing, especially if you don't eat venison.

I think what it has boiled down to (from what I have read), is whether you were brought up around the whole "hunting" thing. I grew up in Northern Minnesota (as far north as you can go), and hunting there is like a religion. EVERYBODY does it. I would let my children go with my mom (yes my mom is the hunter). She has taken my daughter before and has been for quite some time. She takes her when she is "chasing". Which means she is basically trying to find the deer and chase them out of the woods for the people on the other end. I guess growing up on a farm that was part of life. We used to butcher our own chickens, ducks, turkeys, and we raised sheep, cows and pigs that were shipped to be butchered. I dont think that I am scarred in any way. My children also go with my father gopher trapping and that can get brutal, but again its just the "farm life". I would say you would have to go with your gut feelings and discuss it with your dad. Maybe if you are really uncomfortable with it, maybe he can take him out with him for a little while without having to "get" anything at that point and time. Your son will think that he is hunting with grandpa and have the time of his life.
I personally do not like to hunt and have never touched a gun other then to put them away (on the farm) or to help mom or dad clean the guns. Do you think that your father would put your son in harms way? Or do you think that your father would make sure your son is safe. There are many safety issues out there...its really not safe even crossing the road these days. Good luck and hope what you decide works out for everyone.

Hi Cheri-

Your issue is one that I'm anticipating for my own family in another few years, so it struck close to home. My family doesn't have a history of hunting and my husband's has a very enthusiastic hunting background. I know it can be a pretty charged issue, whether and when to take a child hunting.

I think that all of your concerns are really valid ones, and they would be (WILL be!) mine as well. Particularly having a child witness not just the shooting of a deer, but the field dressing that follows. I agree that it would be really traumatic.

Those concerns aside, my thought is that from a practical perspective, a 5 year old doesn't really have the patience or the self-discipline to do all of the quiet sitting that's involved in deer hunting. I don't know a whole lot about deer hunting, but I do know it involves long hours of quiet sitting (oftentimes in the cold). Not the strong suit of most children in that age range. With that in mind, I would think that it would just be too soon for your son to go with his grandfather on a deer hunting trip.

It's nice that your father wants to share something that's important to him with your son, especially since your son loves spending time with him. It just seems like it's too soon. Does you dad do anything like scouting his deer lease prior to the actual hunting trip? If so, maybe your son could do that part with him? That way they get some quality time doing something that's important to your father, but your son doesn't do the actual hunting trip. And they could do it before the hunting season actually starts, so you would be less worried about cross fire from other hunters and other similar safety concerns. That would also be a chance to be moving around, talking, et cetera, which seems like it would by much more up a 5-year old's alley, so to speak. I don't know if that's a practical option, but thought I'd toss it out there as an idea.

Hope that this helps a little- and I wish you luck with your decision!!

M.

Would your son sit for that long? Even though he hasn't been hunting, has he been exposed to grandpa talking about it? Has he seemed interested in it? I grew up in a hunting family, but personally, I would say he's too young yet. He needs to maybe watch a few hunting shows on TV and be exposed to the discussion of it. I have 2 boys and I know my dad is going to want to take them hunting We'll be exposing the boys to the idea of it early, but I won't be allowing them to go until they take a hunter safety program. I'd say wait.

First off.....I am not a hunter, do not come from a hunting family and will most likely never hunt. If I had to hunt I would probably become a vegetarian :)

But I think it is a very good lesson for your child to learn where his food comes from. My daughter is 6 and watches "Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern" and sees how animals (and insects) are cooked and perpared and she has never gotten scared or had nightmare (yes, I realize this is not nearly the same as having a dead deer right in front of you). She has become even more adventerous in her eating (she ate a cricket this past weekend) and I think she appreciates her food more.

There shouldn't be anything scary about seeing an animal shot and cleaned....it is part of life and you can learn a lot from it. I think more people should be aware of their food.

I think if you are okay with it and your Dad isn't some unsafe loon let your son go.

If you are not okay with it then wait another year or two.

Or see if your Dad will take him out for only a couple hours just to kind of show him what it is like. I think you would be able to find a good comprimise since I don't think a 5-year-old could handle a day of hunting nor be still and quiet enough :)

Deer hunting is part of the culture on this area of the country. What Grandpa is seeing is something that is essential to his culture (my husband is from WI). Kids from that area get excused from school to go hunting. What you need to do is try to broker between what you think is appropriate and what he sees as "part of life".

I know hunting seasons are starting so it may be too late but my girlfriend's husband starting taking her son out PRIOR to the season so the child could get a sense of what went on but dad wouldn't miss any limited hunting time with a restless young child. They would set all their geese decoys up in a field and just spend the day waiting for the geese and observing. Same could happen with deer. Maybe if he does any scouting, your son can go along with that and learn what the hunter looks for to know where the deer are and what their habits are. It's actually a very good lesson for children.

As far as the safety goes - there is always that risk but you are probably more at risk statistically driving on the roads around your house.

With the dead (and gore)- you have to take into account the temperament of your child. Children don't developmentally understand death is final until they are around 7 so, on one hand, it may be better to start him before.

Does your husband have an opinion? I don't see anything in your post about him. Dads are awesome insights into boy behavior. Face it - we are limited as moms to understand our little men. Ask him and honor what he thinks.

Bottom line is that I think there are great lessons to be learned and, for certain, tremendous bonding that takes place in hunting. However, for young children, there may be ways prior to the season to get them that exposure that also is a benefit to the older generations who want to hunt as much as they can during that limited season. You can both get what you want.

My entire family are hunters. My daughter (3) has already witnessed many dead animals. She has not seen the act of the hunt, but has seen the deer hanging in the garage, gease lying on the ground, phesants being dressed, etc.. She's not afraid of it and doesn't think twice about it...to her, that's just the way our lives are so she doesn't give it a second thought.

Deer hunting is a very quiet sport. Sitting in the woods trying to be totally silent (even whispers can be too loud) is something that most 5 yr olds won't be able to do. Bow hunting is even harder than firearms because the animal needs to be closer, so hunters need to be extra quiet to draw the animal in and to be at close range for the bow. I'm guessing that grandpa will probably not get a deer because of the noise factor. Also, usually deer hunters SIT for LONG periods and for this reason, I'm thinking it will not be a big deal for your son to go along. He won't be able to sit for too long and Grandpa will end up bringing him out of the woods only after a short period.

Also, bow hunting season does not generally overlap the firearm season, so the only person who would be shooting your son, if safety is your concern, is grandpa. If your son is wearing blaze orange, it will be hard for another bow hunter to mistake your son as a deer. If they are not sitting in a stand, then you can almost guarantee that grandpa will not get a deer, because chances are, the deer would smell him first, which is why most people hunt in stands. If they are in a stand, then your son is safer from other hunters because hunters don't shoot up into the trees for deer. hope this advise helps.

No way in hell would I let my kid go. Not until he/she was at least 8 years old or mature enough to know it's a part of life. I think he's still a baby at that age. I'd put my foot down and tell them as his mother you don't want him exposed at this age. It sounds like you may be okay with it when he's older so suggest that.

I myself am a mom who religiously deer hunts every year. I have three kids 8,6,and 1. I haven't taken my kids out with me yet nor do i intend to until they are about 10 or 11. my personal feeling is that before this age they are not ready to see the act of killing and cleaning the deer. I also don't think that at five your son is going to want to get up at the crack of dawn and sit in the woods for 5 hours quietly. After about an hour he will be probably stir crazy and drive your dad up the wall, making it an unpleasant experience for both. However this is just my opinion.

I am not from a hunting family, but there is no way I would let my five year old go hunting. I think all of your concerns are very valid (major safety issues with other hunters around even if your father is only using a bow and arrow, may cause nightmares for your son). I personally don't ever want my son to hunt, but if you think it will be ok someday, tell your dad that. Tell him that in the meantime, you think it would be great if he took your son on nature hikes and talked to him about the woods, but that you just aren't ready for him to be around guns. I'd be gentle about how you say it, but insistent. You are the parent and you make the final decision. Explain to your dad that your son loves to be around him and learn from him, but that you aren't comfortable with the hunting.

In addition, there are many things that kids need to learn eventually, but that does not mean that they need to learn them all at the ripe old age of five. A five-year-old is not necessarily emotionally or mentally equipped to deal with where our meat comes from (just like they aren't ready to hear all the details about sex for example).

Good luck!

B.
Momma to a bundle of energy toddler

Let your son go hunting with his Grandpa, especially since your son loves to be with him. The values you set at home have more influence with your son than one day hunting with Grandpa. These will be special memories for your son. (My father just died so I am coming from a place where I wish my son could have know my father - my son is just 2)

-Jo

Everyone is different when it comes to this. My husband hunts and when he wanted to first take our daughter outhunting with him I freaked. Now she loves it. he takes both my son now 4 and my daughter now 8 out hunting all the time. They wear the blaze orange and camo so they are just like the hunters. We stress the importance of the rules and how important it is to listen to what all adults have to tell you while in the woods. My husband and kids love it to death, it's their bonding time. Like I said everyone is different and you have to go with your comfort, if you feel they need to wait then wait. It's up to you.

T.

Hmmm. I suppose you are wanting to foster the relationship between your son and your father. Of course that is a good thing. And ultimately, this may be an activity that becomes a shared interest.

I can see where this is difficult to sort through, but I think the important thing here is what you are comfortable with. You don't need to turn this into a "right or wrong" situation. It may be right for some and wrong for others. You are not comfortable with it, and also believe the timing is not right for your son. I think you need to trust your gut here. You can tell your dad how much you appreciate his interest in your son, and wanting to share special time/experiences with him. You can tell him you've thought it over and you are just not comfortable with it. Maybe he can find another special activity to share with your son that works for everyone.

If you're not opposed to it then it shouldn't be a problem.

However, if your dad actually wants to get a deer then he may want to re-think it.
It's unlikely that your son would be quiet and still long enough for a deer to get close enough to shoot.

In my opinion,

He's too young!!!!

Your dad may be responsible but all the other irresponsible people out there during hunting season. You hear of these freak accidents every year, and they some could of be avoided. It's your child,
if something were to happen to him, you and your dad as well as everyone else would be devistated and maybe (I'm sure) people would talk and say WHY would she let her 5 yr go hunting.

I think at 12 yrs of age they can go to a safety program, and learn more about HUNTING.

Sometimes, a parent has to put their foot down and go with their own gut, then to be persuaded by those you love.

That's just me!!!!

There is nothing wrong with a child going with to hunt (watch). However, I don't think your son is old enough to go yet. I don't know many 5 yr olds that would be able to sit still that long. I am also not sure how safe it would be at that age. I would possibly say let him go when he is 7-8yrs old....

If I had a son I would let my father take him hunting. I think it's a great bonding experiance and yes you are killing a animal but it's not that gruesome it's not a total blood hunt. There are video games and movies that are alot worse. Dress him in plenty of orange and send him on his way.

My 6 year old is always asking what kind of meat were eating and where it came from. She's a meat eater. She will say wow this is good, we should tell the farmer he makes good cows. It's part of life. God put that cow on earth for me to eat it. And that's exactly what my daughter and I do and she knows all about it.

My daughter who will be 6 in November has hunted with her daddy and I for 2 years now. I have pictures of her holding up my buck that I shot when she was 4. My daughter also watches my husband do taxidermy and she has had no bad dreams and wants to start going to gun saftey classes to learn herself. Its your ultimate decision but I think he would be fine and enjoy it.

Mom of 6 (girl) and 10 month (boy).