Opinions and Suggestions for Reducing Nursing

Cut the cord. It starts to gets wierd after a year and really sick when the kid is three and still sucking on his mother's titty. I know breastfeeding is a special bond but I think once they can walk they are too independent for something like that.

Hi Barbara Z!

congratulations on a really successful nursing relationship. here's my exp and what i could suggest; i nursed my son till he was over 3, just weaned a couple of months ago, and nursed him right through my prgncy w my daughter who is 18 mos and still nursing. i had no problems getting or being pregnant or nursing both kids together. don't let anyone tell you that you can't or should not do this; this is what women have always done and it's perfectly fine. you may get tired but you'll be tired anyway.

my son was 20 mons when my daugher was born and as she got more ambulatory and involved in everything he got more jealous, and he did eventually start using nursing as a way to get in between me and her, and that wasn't so great. but that didn't happen until he was close to 3, and by then, he was so verbal and logical that we were able to wean him literally over night; we talked about it and made him a little party and got him a present and that night he had to stop nursing; i actually have a post about it here if you want to see it.

but a lot of people aren't comfortable nursing that long and sounds like it's not what you want to do, tho i too, did not at first imagine myself nursing him that long, it just seemed to work until it didn't. you should feel that you can go on nursing as long as you feel good about it. when it annoys you, then it's time to stop. or your daughter may grow out of it. many do.

you can try offering your daughter other snacks like a snack trap full of dry cereal such as cheerios or oatmeal squares. or of course a straw or sippy cup full of water or herbal tea or something; fyi neither of my kids ever drink actual milk and they are perfectly fine; they getchocolate milk as a treat once in a while. if your daughter eats cheese and yogurt she doesn't need it.

but the thing of toddler nursing is that they really want to be close to you, it's not about the food. so makesure you offer lots of alternative affection with or instead of snack. and just offer the boob less; try redirecting her with books, they are a great way to be close and engaged w your baby.

love & luck
J.

Good for you for giving this some thought instead of fixating on an age and sticking to it. No one else has mentioned this, so I figured I would. A few years ago, I read that some big-name pediatric agency (like the AAP) was recommending a MINIMUM of 1 year of breastfeeding, and encouraged mothers to go to AT LEAST 2 years. Sorry, can't find the source, but it struck me at the time, since my daughter was just turning 1 and I had no intention of stopping at that time.

Also, consider that the definition of weaning is actually "to ripen", translated as "to be ready for the next stage". That means a true weaning is determined by the child, not the mother. Of course, nursing is a relationship, so a bit of nudging on Mom's part may be called for. Also, there aren't that many 2yo's who WANT to nurse more than 1-2x per day, so I think working together on weaning between the 1st and 2nd birthdays is great timing.

For myself, I decided I would nurse until my daughter lost interest, but I wanted more consistency in the time of day she could nurse. Also, if she wanted to nurse near a snacktime or mealtime, I offered food before breast. This quickly reduced our 6x per day to about 3x per day, where we stayed until she was about 20 months. Then she naturally fell down to 1x, and then stopped altogether. I'm embarrassed to say I have no idea what was her last day nursing (it wasn't long after her 2nd birthday), but I'm proud she weaned herself.

The Sears website has a good article on weaning:
http://askdrsears.com/html/2/t026400.asp

I wish you luck with this. Breastfeeding is one of the most rewarding experiences ever. It's great to end it well.

-K.

I love to hear successful nursing stories!!! So many times I hear "I couldn't nurse" followed by their reasons and my heart breaks for that baby who didn't get the best start in life.
Each child is different. My 3rd son nursed until 17 months, but my last daughter was done by 7 months.
I encourage you to continue to nurse as long as you can -- it is the best nutrition you can give your child. The frequency is something you can start to control. It seems that you are able to be home with her - what a blessing now-a-days.
As for your body being "ready" for another baby -- nursing has very little to do with that. Once your cycles start up again, you're ready.
Keep up the good work!!

Hi Barbara,

I want to encourage you to continue breastfeeding your one year old as long as you want to. I just weaned my second girl who just turned two. I breastfed my oldest, Lila, for two years also. I planned on nursing Lila for 15 months, b/c the doctor said to give it a year and since she turned 1 in November, take her through cold and flu season, so make it a few months more than a year. That sounded reasonable. But 15 months came and went and we were nowhere near ready to stop! I worried a little but just couldn't get ready to wean her. By 18 months, I began to cut back and only nurse her in the morning and before bed. Then I got pregnant with my second daughter, Sophie, and knew that I wanted to wean Lila before Sophie was born. So I weaned LIla at 2, when I was 3 months pregnant with Sophie and this gave us 6 months of no nursing before Sophie was born. Remember that there is no perfect schedule or timeframe. Each mother/child relationship is unique and it's most important to respect what feels right for the two of you.

When you do get ready to cut back, just try to make it during a time when you're going to have a lot of focus and attention to give to your daughter. This way she will feel your love and devotion and won't feel too hurt or abandoned by the weaning. It's not easy to separate after such a great nursing connection, but it can be fairly smooth and comfortable.

Good luck! You've already given her such a wonderful gift by nursing this long!

My daughter nursed hard till about 18m. With all of the feedings, sounds like you are her "sip of water". Pick a couple of times during the day when things are busy, so when she signals that she wants to nurse, get her the sippy cup of milk or water. She's apt to be frustrated a few times but with other things going on she might also be intreguied.(spelling?) As to preparing for your second child, that's when my daughter stopped nursing. I was two months preg and I understand the taste changed...she began weaning herself.

Just some thoughts-- but not always easy.

There is no reason to stop nursing!! In fact, I believe it is recommended (by the American Pediatric Association??) that you nurse until age two (I believe one is the minimum age recommendation). So if you are happy and the baby is happy, there is absolutely no reason to stop !!!! And FYI, you can get pregnant while nursing. My friend just had child number two, and nursed her (now 26 month) son until she was a few months into her pregnancy, when he weaned himself off. Keep going - it's good for her !

Barbara-

Perhaps, limiting nursing to first thing in the morning, before nap and before bed, would be ways to still share a special bond. You can offer a sippy cup with water or milk to your daughter at other times and explain you don't have any milk for her right now but you'd be happy to hold her/read her a story/ give her some fruit....

It sounds like you are comfortable nursing, but would like to see progress in the reduction of quantity of your nursing. Please reject any advice that recommends going against what YOU want!

I also urge you to consider that, should your daugher become ill, the fact that you still nurse can have a hugely positive impact on her recovery. My 14 month old was still nursing a lot. I was getting impatient, but then he came down with scarlet fever. His throat was so sore he would only nurse for 10 days and refused all food. I was SO thankful he HAD that option! I also believed he recovered much better because of that comfort and nutrition. Now he is nursing less and much more interested in food.

Pay attention to what YOUR intuition tells you, and the cues your daughter gives you, and you will only succeed! I highly recommend Nourshing Traditions as a cookbook/dietary guide for nursing/pregnant moms.

honestly, you really dont sound like you need to stop. the AAP recommends two years for optimum benefits(although for the record, there is nothing to say the benefits wouldnt continue after two years). they actually feel the best way is to continue as long as both the mother and baby feel comfortable to. you sound like you both are still enjoying nursing and all its benefits, so you shouldnt stop. there is no reason a child needs cows milk. after reading your post, i would say just wait until either she weans herself or until one of you no longer enjoys it or wants to.

the only thing i might suggest is, although i do agree with your allowing food whenever hungry, i would(and you might already be doing this) is to have 3 meals at normal times and then 3 snacks between in the day. something that might allow a more natural weaning is to offer these solid foods at specific times as the primary food, allowing nursing to supplement, and offer water for thirst thruout the day. good luck, it sounds like your nursing is going great for you.

have you gotten your period yet? if not, do you nurse in the middle of the night. i have read usually the period comes back when the middle of the night feeding is dropped. or even if you drop a feeding somewhere in the day. if you already have your period, and are a healthy person, there is no way a normal pregnancy would be affected. good luck

I'm going through the same exact thing, Barbara. I had said that I'd be done nursing my son when he turns 1 year old, but now that that day is rapidly approaching, I can see that I may need to eat my words! I have replaced his 10:00 a.m. feeding with a snack and some water, but I still nurse first thing in the morning, at 1:00 p.m., if he whines for it later in the afternoon, and then again at bedtime. I hope to replace the 1:00 p.m. feeding in the next week or two, but we'll see. I don't want him to get upset if he's really not ready to wean.

Good luck!

A.

I just want to say that I successfully got pregnant while frequently nursing my son, he was 8 mons. And during the course of the pregnancy he weaned himself. Now at 15 mons he doesn't even think about nursing. I've offered when he's gotten hurt or isn't feeling well and he reacts like I'm about to hurt him. Every child IS different though. Also, how old is to old for you? You thought only until one and now that that's here you're okay with continueing. Nursing your child is a special gift that we give them. Whether they're 6 weeks or 2yrs. Our milk changes and meets their needs at where they're at. Good luck in your decision making.

First of all, congratulations on doing such a great job. Exclusively breastfeeding your baby the way you have is the best start you can give a child. The nursing will gradually decrease as she gets busier during the day. Start introducing other liquids (cow's milk, water) in a sippy cup if you haven't already. I nursed my last for 14 months, and she weaned herself with the number of feedings going down as she got more active. Also, don't be afraid to refuse some feedings. If it is completely inconvenient for you, say not now once in a while. You know she is getting enough nutrition from how well she eats and if you don't want to nurse far into toddlerhood, she will need to start learning other comfort measures besides nursing. But for now relax and enjoy your nursing. It is the best time and you will miss it!
Good luck
L. RNC CNM (mother of 3, but helping to raise 7 kids)

I would just slowly drop a nursing from to 5 to 4 to 3 times a day. You'll be surprised how little it effects your baby. I think I missed it more than my daughter when I started to first reduce her feedings. Then when you're ready the last 2 feedings to drop would be morning and night, which I'm working on right now (neither my daughter or I are ready for that yet).

I am a big advocate for child led weaning. I let my baby decide when he wanted to be done nursing. Many babies begin to taper off their nursings naturally around 14-15 months. As they get more busy and other things look more interesting...it just sort of happens. I got pregnanct myself around this time, and he had fully weaned himself by 17 months. Perhaps the milk changed, perhaps he was ready for bigger and better things, perhaps a little of both. But that is our story of how he weaned. And for what its worth, you can successfully nurse while pregnant safely as long as you arent at risk for preterm labor or miscarriage. It is perfectly safe, contrary to popular belief.

Barbara,
Congratulations on nursing this far, and wishing to go further!

I have been reading! If you want to stop, you just offer your breast less often. If you want to reduce your times, stress the times you do want to nurse, not ignoring her, but anticipating when she will ask and either not being there, or having a family member give her something else to drink.

You are very lucky! My parents want me to stop (although they don't come out and say it - they are very impatient when I have to stop because DS is 'thirsty' or nurse him before dinner. My husband is the same way, except that part of him knows this is good for our son. I think he is not pushing to stop because he's not ready for #2 yet. ;)

(and yes, our first children were four-legged, matching black and white cat and dog, both mutts. :)

Good Luck,
M.