I was 23 when I gave birth to my daughter. Kind of a young mom I guess. After I have Genevieve I lost a lot of my old friends. They were still into partying and I, obviously, wasn't. Over the past 2 1/2 years I've had a few friends tell me how sorry they were that they "ditched" me. Those few friends have really made an attempt to be in my life. My best frind ,who I was friends with for over 10 years, has not. Her bf lived in the same apartment complex that we lived in, right down the stairs actually, and she didn't even come up to say hello. I've tried to talk to her and to tell her that she's hurt me but it never did anything so I stopped.
Looking back I eralize she was never a good friend. She's always been a b**** and unless you agreed with her she could be really mean.
Anyway, I'm having a surprise party for my fiance and have invited a lot of old friends. Most of them haven't kept in contact with us but I really can't fault them because I didn't make much of an effort either. I received an email from her yesterday. Not asking how I was or how my daughter was. All it said was "So I hear you're having a party Sat night". I know I shouldn't be but I'm hurt. Her doing that proved to me how selfish she really is. My question is should I respond? Should I let it go and just not talk to her? I'm really confused and really hurt.
I know this isn't your typical question but I don't know what to do!
Thanks for your help!
Time to get some new friends, M.! High School is such a defining time in our lives, it can be hard to "let go" of that chapter. It's time.
As for your former, selfish friend -- I wouldn't acknowledge the email. Delete it, forget about her, and don't feel guilty!
Good luck!
Maybe I'm petty and small, but if I were in your shoes, there is no way I'd respond to the email. It just opens up an awkward discussion because surely she expects you to invite her. You don't seem to want to do that, so why place yourself in the uncomfortable situation? You deserve to enjoy your own party.
Boy, have I been here before! Like you, I didn't realize how toxic the friendship was until I was out of it. Don't get worked up over the email. You could send a one word response "yes" and leave it at that. If you say too much she may think you want to reopen the friendship (I'm assuming you don't.) Keep communications simple and, especially, unemotional.
You might email her back and acknowledge that you are having a party. No apologies. Then immediately switch to a question about how she is doing. Short and sweet.
This is selfish to me. She just wants to come to the party?
Tell her that the 2 of you have not kept in touch despite your efforts, you just thought she would not want to come, that you had no intentions of hurting her feelings, and you are sorry if you did.
Leave it at that - simple. And then if you feel like inviting her go ahead, but if you don't, then don't!
And you can even add to your message - My daughter is 2.5 now and getting big, I can't believe it. Hope you are doing very well!
Good luck!
