OK - So the Visiting Subject

Running across the street to the neighbor to see if Sally can come play or dropping off cookies is one thing. Wanting to come in and visit for a long time is something else. I would prefer a phone call and I call my in-laws before we head over even if it's "Hey, we're not far and could be there in 15 minutes. Is now a good time to come by?" It's not that no one cares, just that people tend to call ahead more and I was taught it was out of politeness. I don't want to come by with one expectation and find out I'm intruding. My DH tells a story about how after he moved out he "dropped by" on his parents and peeked through the mail slot when they didn't answer. He got an eyeful and never again came by unannounced.

I don't like to be dropped in on either. The house is usually a disaster, I'm usually in my jammies and then for company to just 'pop in'??? NO thank you!! I like a few minutes notice to get dressed, throw all the toys in the toybox and shove the dishes in the dishwasher!

I guess the reason I personally hate being dropped in on is this. Once I am done working my 11 + hours (I do home daycare and am whipped by the end of each day)..I want to change into my jammie pants and worn in tshirt or tank top and (possibly) stained and equally worn in hoodie, wash my litlte bit of make up I wear off, pull my hair off my face in a rediculous way and veg out (braless by the way! LOL)!!

On weekends even more so as I often am up at a decent time, but might lay in bed and watch my cache of movies I got free at the library (and need returning Monday)..and not shower until 2pm! Just kinda the way we roll around here. Braless and grungy...I will let the bell ring and my daughter will hide on the couch so she isn't seen from the windows (lots of windows and few coverings!)

Hubby is the only one who doesn't run from the bell! LOL When my daughter was little it was different, but shes a teen now...heck, they contact each other via text or FB everytime someone sneezes....I always tell them that and then say, if you do that you sure as heck can let her know you are coming by! A few of them think its funny to text or FB me too (we are all hooked up)! Its a running joke now...I get texts that say "S-----'s Mom? Can S----- come out and play in an hour?" Shes 16 by the way!

I, personally hate... to be dropped in on.
My friends know this.
It is not personal.
I just hate, being dropped in on, without being called first.

It is also just polite, to call a person first before dropping by.

I personally, DO NOT like having to drop everything I am doing.... (and i am always doing something and with/for the kids and home), just because someone dropped in on me. I hate that.
That is me.

My best friend does this right now..and has for a while. After my accident I started to shut down. shut out everyone. My mom even had to come and pull me up off my rear to get out. My best friend comes by now just to check up on me...She has had no idea what the day to day has been for me since last August. She has been between a rock and a hard place. She wanted nothing more then to help me through this. I told her that her coming by to just see me was enough. Happier now she still pops in for a visit..and I love it. I am more ampt to go to the store with her or go bum around target now...and she knows she has me cornered so to speak if she just shows up..I cant ignore the call/text when it is at my door...So there is a time and a place for just showing up!

I dont mind the occasional surprise visit from anyone...Time to clean my house is always nice..but it is not a must:) If you cant handle toys thrown all over my living room...you shouldnt be knocking on my door without calling ahead...that is my thought on the matter:)

I am like you. Growing up we always stopped by friends/relatives house.
I tell all my friends come by anytime my door is open! Personally I do not
think it is rude, but it also depends on the friend. There are some people
I would never just knock on their door and others anytime is fine. So you
know your friends best.

I don't know if I would say rude but im a creature of habit. I don't like when my schedules thrown off so just a pop in would bother me! My inlaws don't speak english so if they stopped by I would be screwed!

I think that it is incredibly rude. I would be SO pissed if my in-laws pulled this on me!

I'm like you...grew up in a small town where this was completely normal so I LOVE when people do it now. What's better than an impromptu visit with friends? We've got some friends a block away who will walk over in the evening and the kids will play outside while we sit and visit and vice versa. Great times.

I guess it is personal during the Christmas season I expect it people dropping stuff off not that I like it I just know it is going to happen. The neighbor kids stop by that doesnt bother me but it is when people stop in shuffle up to the counter and plant themselves that drives me crazy. I guess maybe because it is only my hubby's friends that do this they just drop in with a 12 pack and settle in it drives me nuts.

Great question!

Maybe not rude so much as really inconvenient or annoying. If someone is stopping by, it is because they want to see you and enjoy your company!

It really depends on the situation. I totally could understand someone thinking it was rude if mom and new baby were home and someone just stopped by unannounced. That would be one example of rudeness, imo.

AV makes a GREAT point - stopping by for 5 minutes to drop off a gift is totally different than coming and staying for an hour or two. Of course, my visitors always stay much longer than 5 minutes. Lol!

I used to love when people just stopped by. Now, with three kids and working full time, I hate it. =( I wish I could be more spontaneous, but everything is so crazy and we are so pressed for time and chaotic all the time, I really do need a phone call prior to a visit. So yes, it would really annoy (and does annoy) me when my non working mother in law stops by for a leisurely visit and all my chores pile up and I cannot get anything done and I have to stop and entertain her!

And you know I will entertain her, for hours. And then tell her it is not a problem that she didn't call. lol - this all goes back to my previous post about being too nice!!

=)

Huh, never thought about it, after reading some of these respones, I guess I should!! ;) I don't mind when people drop in usually. If I'm running out the door or doing something super important I usually tell them and they head out, but most of the time I welcome dropper-inners! Truthfully I'm sort of a procrastinator about everything so if someone drops by it's just another reason I don't have to do the stuff I "need" to do! LOL! I guess it depends on the person, but in the age of cell phones I will usually give someone a quick call even if I'm just in front of their house to make sure it's okay for me/us to pop in.

I am with you! We rarely made plans with family when I was a kid, we would just stop over. I love suprise visits to my house by my friends!
And hell, I'll be in my jammies with no bra on, and they can just walk in...they have boobs too! :D

I honestly think this all depends on where you live. I grew up in a suburb of Chicago. A majority of the time, people would always call before coming over. It would be VERY rare for them to just come over. I live in a suburb of Houston, TX. now and here...it seems like people just 'stop by'. It drives me nuts cause that is not how I was raised. My house is always clean so that is not the issue but what if I simply don't want company. What about those people who don't keep their house tidy? I strongly believe it has to do with where you live, the relationship you have with friends and neighbors and the mutual decision amongst you on this matter. :) I say call first...it's just polite.

It seems to be a personal preference. Before kids I probably would have hated it. Now I love if a neighbor etc drops by to see if we all want to play. It's funny bc some neighbors who stop by unannounced seem to be bothered a bit if I do it to them... So I just try to read who likes it and who doesn't. There's usually a vibe. I've never had inlaws nearby so not sure how I'd feel about them just dropping by but I can see if they don't mind people doing to them, they grew up like you etc that they don't even think about it, especially since it's family.

I would think about how you would react if you saw the person's car in the driveway and could tell they were home, yet they still didn't answer the door. Maybe they were in the shower and weren't prepared for guests. Is it more rude to not answer your door to unannounced guests or to drop by unannounced? In this age of cell phones, text messaging and email - it seems we have every opportunity to notify people of an intended visit.

My thought is if you have to think about it to see if its right, call first. You can always say I called and didn't know if you were interested, but we are going to the park at X time--wanna meet there? I think times have changed with people learning better boundaries and just the world in general has changed---most people I know don't just drop by. They call first and see if its ok. Thats what I prefer....

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What you describe is different and I would be okay by that. I usually prefer a phone call though if the person wants to actually come into my home and visit for a while. I think the general stopping by annoyance, is when people come over unannounced with a plan or agenda to invade your time no matter if you are busy/not feeling like entertaining...

I dont think its rude to stop by unannounced as long as you knock and dont just let yourself in or linger for hours. And a lot of it depends on your neighbors & friends. Some people prefer to know when visitors are going to come over & others could care less

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