Ok, So Now I'm Getting Frustrated....

Updated on July 02, 2008
J.M. asks from Irwin, PA
8 answers

My take on the whole potty training thing was that he would do it when he was ready. So from the start I was really easy going with it and just let him sit on the potty when he wanted to. When I realized that he was doing much better with controlling it I started to let him run around nude and eventually he got the point and went in the potty. Now he will pee and poo in the potty when he doesn't have any pants on but as soon as I put a diaper or pull up on him he will go in his pants! I can't even keep him dry for more than 10 minutes (I tried the whole put a pull up on him and set a timer to put him on the potty a short time later thing- didn't work). I even tried putting him in real underwear. He ended up wetting himself and didn't say or do a thing until I noticed he was wet and I made him feel his wet pants and said "look you are wet, that is because you peed in your underwear." He didn't care but now that I brought it to his attention, he just too them off. I promised myself that I wouldn't get all frustrated about this but now I am. I just don't know how to get him to stop being so lazy and just go in the potty when he is wearing pants!! Any suggestions or support would greatly be appreciated!

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So What Happened?

Well Thanks for all the advice moms! I stayed calm and now my son is really doing well with potty training. I took some of your advice and let him pee through several pairs of underwear (big boy ones). I wasn't mad when he peed them I just sat him on the potty and asked him "where do we pee at?" and he would respond "pee in the potty!" I would just tell him, "yes, we pee in the potty not in our underwear" After that day he really got it. Yesterday I had a pull up on him all day and he kept it dry!! I'm so excited that he is doing so well with this!

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J.M.

answers from St. Cloud on

He may not be ready, my son was almost 3. The pull up absorbs the wetness. Leave him in underwear, it took my son 2 or 3 days of wetting in his underwear before he "flew solo". IT will start to bother them.

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I second that he is not ready... I know that some toddlers pick it up quickly and early on but they were ready.

I started potty training my daughter about a month ago (22 months) but she clearly was not ready... she was interested but not ready. So I have put it on the back burning and I will try again in a few months when she is maybe 2 1/2 months unless she really is showing strong signs of wanting to do it earlier then that.

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J.G.

answers from Milwaukee on

J.,

To quote some great advice I read recently:

"...he might just be too young still. It sounds to me like he just doesn't understand "why" he pees yet and that he can control it. He is still quite young for fully getting the whole potty training thing, give him time. I was always advised by other moms that they will get it when they are ready and if after three days you see no signs of him "getting it" then I would drop the whole intense potty training thing for now. I mean still continue putting him on the potty and telling him what the potty is for but don't have any expectations for him do any of it on his own until you see better signs that he has more control. I was also advised by other moms that when you start to get frustrated drop it, if he starts to get frustrated- drop it. Although everything with a toddler has some degree of frustration, but 2 year olds just don't preform well with pressure and added stress from a frustrated mommy."

Sound familiar? Those are YOUR words to another frustrated mommy! Ironic, isn't it? I cannot speak from personal experience but I can tell you what I know. Girls typically potty train around 2-ish, give or take. Boys are much, much later, sometimes as late as 4 years old. If you can get him to go on the potty with no problems while he's running around in the buff and are not putting any pressure on him, you are doing fantastic!

With the summer upon us, this could be great time for him to make further strides in this area. Just be careful how you approach this and here's why: My daughter loved to run around naked also. During the summer before she was potty trained, she would run around our fenced in yard and tought it was fun to use that as the toilet. ALL summer long she did this and I couldn't get her to stop. Even when I would have her dressed, she would drop her drawers in the corner of the yard!

So, I would take your own advice and step back a bit. Don't entirely give up your efforts but let him guide you as to when he's ready. More than likely, you'll both be happier!

Best of luck!

~J.

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B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Pull-ups don't work well for some kids. My child sounds just like yours. She is day trained, but wears a diaper for night and nap. We have to put it on right before bed or she'll use it while awake even though she has been day trained for a long time. We had a hard time getting her trained because just like yours she was able to do it but wasn't motivated to do it all the time. Once we found the right motivation she was trained instantly. What worked for us was signing her up for a French class. She really wanted to go to school, so we told her she could go to the class only if she were potty trained. No sooner had my husband said it than she was in the bathroom going poop. I would find what motivates your son, put him in underwear with loose fitting shorts that he can pull up and down easily, hope for the best, but expect accidents.

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V.K.

answers from Green Bay on

I was blessed with my daughter I also started to get her into the bathroom at a VERY young age, she was 6 months and I had her in there telling her what everything was and showing her mommy went into the potty. I knew i wanted her trained by her 2nd b-day but it didnt happen EXACTLY that way, 3 months after her 2nd b-day she was ready she told me she was, we never used the pull ups we did buy because she was ready for her big girl undies...She did however take longer to train at night we had a number of accidents, she also refused to use the pull ups. So my suggestion to you is to jsut keep him happy and content it will come with time. When your done potty training him I'll be working on my son now 1 and a half, You can give me pointer because its not working like it did with my daughter!

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Does he have a hardtime pulling down/up his pants? Maybe you need to work on that. Or maybe he doesn't want to stop playing long enough to do it. If he's already naked it doesn't take much time. I would suggest the use of underwear instead of pull-ups because you want him to feel the discomfort of wetness. Try not to get to worked up about it.

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V.

answers from Minneapolis on

It sounds like he is not ready. 2 years is young to potty train. Maybe back off for a while and try it in a few months. Best of luck.

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C.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I think it's great that your son will go in the potty chair when he's naked. That's much of the battle. Not to mention, he goes POOP in it! A lot of children struggle with fear and don't do that for a long time after they are pee trained.

My son just started peeing in a potty chair last weekend, and I'm ecstatic about it. He turned 2 on May 20. I haven't been pushing at all. In fact, he was standing there naked having to go, and I had to dig through the closet to get his potty chair out (I put it away after trying too early with him and putting too much pressure on him a while back).

One thing I wonder - do you try underwear or just pull-ups and diapers? He might not want to soil new fun underwear. In fact, kids think they are supposed to go in a diaper. That's what they've been doing since birth in most cases. Good luck and don't stress (although I'm sure I'll be stressing soon too).

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