Oh Wow You Must Be RICH!!

Actually, I often wonder how much credit card debt people have. When I see folks taking extravagant vacations, buying designer brands, etc., I gotta wonder... did they put that on the card?

Not that I care much... I just think it's sad that folks put themselves in debt just to live beyond their means.

I assume woman are well off when they own strollers that I have researched and know to cost upwards of $500. I wouldn't know if someone assumed I was well off. When I see people with a lot of nice things I often think that they are very in debt rather than well off.

I do.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I see a lady dressed nicely is she must be rich, to have her hair done and nails done, and very nice outfit. but that is not always case I know, believe me I do. It's just an unconsious thought I sometimes have. Maybe its because I'm a pony tail, jeans and t-shirt, short nails kind of gal.

Nope, I learned that lesson long ago. Being a mortgage broker for a couple decades, what I have seen is there are people that are:

*very wealthy by career
*wealthy by inheritance
*wealthy because they made good choices
*could be wealthy but have terrible spending habits
*don't mind just getting by

One major thing I have learned is that unless you visually look at someones paystubs, credit report & bank statements/assets, you will NEVER know the truth.

My husband & I are very modest people. So I think people assume we don't have much. We don't drive fancy cars. We don't go on vacations every year. We don't & our kids don't dress in designer clothes. I am not 'done' up everyday or get mani's and pedi's, etc. But people don't know what we have in our accounts or how much we give to charity either.

Its kind of funny- I am exposed to all types really and what I have learned the most is that it is all relatve..... examplses are:
a coach purse is really kind of looked down on by one group of people. What they are wearing is Louis Vitton and hey-of course that is MUCH cooler. And then one level up there is people who wear real fashion brands like Balenciaga and Celine who kind of laugh at the LV people. So then you have Chanel girls who have the most amazing bags ever but are sometimes outdned by the Hermes bags which ca n easily be the cost of a small house. So I guess what I am really trying to say is it is so relative what you consider 'status' that there will almost always be somebody more statusy than you who has more. With that knowledge you should realize that it is time to quit and just be yourself.
As an aside-some of the richest people that I know (billionaires-NOT millionaires) have no care for status and roll just exactly like us normal people. It is the middle of the road wannabees that give having money a bad name.

People think we have way more money than we have because of the house we live in. We lived in our last house for 12 years and had a lot of equity built up in it and with interest rate so incredibly low we were able to purchase a bigger house in a nice neighborhood. The house we purchased was a repo house and needed a lot of elbow grease to get into shape. We were able to pick it up very cheap and we are very handy at making repairs. In the end the house payment is less than what our old payment was.

I always kind of chuckle at school events with the Coach Purse Parade.
Reminds me of sheep!
Not everyone could coincidently "like" that purse pattern!

I like to buy things I actually like. Go figure.
I had a Pandira bracelet (filled) LONG before they were the "it" thing to have. When it was unique and different. Before there were a zillion knock off lines of beads.
I love it.
Not because it "means" anything.
But because I love how it looks.
I see people checking it out all the time.

I have a pretty impressive diamond engagement ring.
That I love because my husband chose it for me.
I still get remarks on it all the time.

At 48, I'm over "status." I'm into quality.
We're at the point in our lives where we can pretty much buy/drive/wear whatever we'd like. But we're smarter with our money than to use it to try to please anyone but ourselves. And that's also pretty much WHY we're IN good financial shape! Ironic, huh?

That said, what impresses me? Quality, classics, good grooming and a kind heart!

Well when I can get my hair colored and cut at the same time...I think I am very well off. lol!!

I'm old enough to know better than to assume anyone is wealthy. Behind the scenes anyone could have mountains of debt, or anyone could have mountains of savings. You never know.

I teach in a low-income school, and most of my students think I'm rich. I'm not. We are debt-free, which I love, and I talk to my students about the importance of living within your means, and money management, but that's now why they think I'm rich. They think I'm rich because we live on a small farm, and most of them live in small apartments, and some of them are homeless. It's all perception. To them, our family is rich.

You know what I find funny? When I see people who are unemployed going on vacation, buying new electronics, going out to eat, and doing lots of activities for pleasure that cost money. I guess I don't really find it funny, but sad. Because I know that 99% of the time, they are putting it on credit. We live in such an entitled country.

I have a friend who's husband makes a decent living (about $130k a year) and she spends ALL OF IT! Not only does she spend all of it, she proceeds to put some stuff on credit. She has 6 kids and all of them are always dressed to the nines, they have a beautiful inground pool and a modest but nice home. They drive expensive gas guzzling cars and do extravagent trips each year. So, one would think "Wow, they must be rich!" Well the truth is, they are in debt up to their eyeballs, and the husband works 60+ hours a week just so they can have food on the table after paying all bills and creditors. I find it very very sad.

We also have a neighbor down the street who is unemployed. Yet, somehow he just managed to fly his family of 4 to Disney for 9 days and they did everything fun and exciting you could think of including all parks and hotels inside each park. They are going to be putting their home on the market at the end of the year because they don't have money to pay the mortgage. But, they were entitled to their vacation!

I find that people's priority's are evident in their lifestyle. Many times, they can trick you into thinking they have money on the outside, but when it comes down to the numbers on paper...they are far from "rich." They just feel that they are entitled to have things that those who are more fortunate have, even at the expense of going into debt over it...again very very sad.

Some people assume we must be well off, when really it is because of both of my parents passing away and leaving us a substantial inheritance that we've been able to do things like take a few nice trips (including Disney World and Disney Cruises) and enroll our daughter in private school. I also ended up inheriting my mom's vehicle (a Lincoln MKT - stuffed, and fully paid for) and a bunch of Vera Bradley bags and Coach purses when she died, and people tend to take notice, but normally I would never spend money on stuff like that, it's just not important to me. We are both working now and making a good living, but there have been times we have struggled because of job loss, and couldn't afford to do anything "extra".

I have a friend of mine who is a stay-at-home mom, they own a huge gorgeous home on a lake, and her daughters are always dressed in Matilda Jane clothing, so I figure they must be well off, but that's me.

I think it is all relative...for some folks, a trip to Disney is the trip of a lifetime, I know other families that make it down there every 1 to 2 years and they aren't much better off than we are. I think it's sometimes just a case of priorities, and if you can afford it, what you choose to spend your money on. I would rather spend "disposable income" on a nice trip and give my daughter the experience of traveling somewhere cool and amazing, rather than the latest fancy gadgets or status symbol fashions. Like you said, one should never assume anything...

Well, people assume that because we live in Fairfax County, VA - we are rich as it is still in the top two slots of the "richest counties in the nation"...and we are right next door to Loudon County - another top contender...

people can assume all they want....typically when they make assumptions - they make an a$$ out of U and Me....

I know people who live in BIG houses (over 7K square feet)....and aren't "rich".....and they don't have a pool in that huge back yard they have either.....

I don't pay attention to what others have like that. I pay more attention to how people "behave" and treat others....so no...I don't care about someone's financial situation...(unless of course they are living off the government teet).

Here in the North East, a Coach purse is nothing. Now if I saw someone with a real Gucci, Louis, or Fendi then I might think they had some nice disposible income. Most of the time they are knock offs though. I wouldn't think anyone was rich unless they had a car I knew for sure was over 75k. You think Disney is rich?? I would think someone who goes to Fiji has some dough but honestly, everyone spends their money so differently, I rarely saw WOW, you must be rich. If someone lives in a house that cost over 1 mill, I think I would think they were well off but trust me, I know a family whose house cost over a mill and they are struggling to make ends meet. It's usually those people who don't flaunt it or do so subtly that have a lot of money.

people assume we are well off bc we have a paid off vacation home in another state. but then you look at my 8 year old car and scratch your head :).

LOL! I just gotta say that some people's Coach purses are $20 knock-offs!

Also, there are plenty of people who drive used BMW's, etc. And driving to Disney when gas isn't too high and staying in a cheap hotel (you're only going to sleep there anyway) isn't too expensive.

It's all in the way you do things. And of course, in the eye of the beholder.

Dawn

* No.

I never take "status symbols" at face value.
We don't think about status symbols nor do my kids.
We don't focus on it.
Its just, what people focus on or not.

I was raised pretty well & privileged as a child. I know what things are status or not. But it really doesn't matter. Things change all the time, a person's status or influx of money etc. It is not absolute.
Just because a person drives a Mercedes, does not mean anything.
Just because a person has a Chanel bag, does not mean anything.
Just because someone has a David Yurman piece of gold jewelry, does not mean anything.
It is not anything, unless it drives a person to yearn for improvement in their lives in a positive manner, but not as a means to replace their endeavors or values or to supplant their own self worth.

Dignity, is also something that cannot be bought. Even with status symbols, some people have no dignity and are hollow inside. Like a tin can.

Status symbols do not make a person.

There's a Ferrari/Masserati dealership pretty close to my home. When I get behind a Ferrari, Masserati, or Lamburghini or almost get run down by one, I assume the driver is rich (or has more money than he has sense as I'm, not particularly impressed). I tend to think that's pretty fair assumption.

When I hear someone has a nanny, I tend to think they are doing well financially. However, I am aware that this may be a false assumption, as a nanny is somewhere about the same cost as daycare for two kids. So, that is a false assumption on my part.

In general, my thoughts on big houses, newest cars, boats, latest electronics, etc. is that those people may be in debt up to their eyeballs and beyond. Material items are not a particularly good indicator of other's financial situations.

When someone retires early I think they must be pretty comfortable!

When you own your own business people often think that makes you rich. Both my husband and I have/do own businesses in food service, and people have told us they assume we make a really good living, that restaurant owners are just swimming in money. Little do they know the very small mark up on restaurant food and the overhead involved, not to mention taxes, etc...
Of course, then they hear we have four kids and that theory usually goes right out the window :)

What matters to me is not having debt. We live below our means and if you can't pay for something, you don't buy it. (our theory) Delayed gratification.

Do people assume we are well off... yes... some do and we do live a good life with our needs solidly met. We are fortunate but it is not because we fell on good fortune, it is because we are driven, have goals, are motivated to succeed. Failure is not an option. We've have busted our butts and sacrificed to get where we are. So yes, we do have some very nice material items and people assume we are rich. Material items are not what makes us though.... Our hard work, determination and discipline has made us. So are we rich? According to published data, yes we are but I personally do not think so. I believe we are well disciplined, responsible, we honor delayed gratification and no debt.

However, MANY people you see who have so much material things are not rich but deeply in debt trying to be something they are not. We are who we are and there are no shields up hiding something.

You wouldn't see my car at a WalMart because I boycott Walmart stores. Yes you would see my car at a Big Lots or Half Price Books because I like browsing in those places.

Different people spend money on different things. I have several coach purses--I don't consider myself rich. Most of them were less that $200. I consider Coach purses to be pretty average--Michael Kors and Louis Vuitton are far more high-end.

My husband drives a very nice truck-- it was $48k brand new. It is now paid off and 5 years old. It still looks as good as it did the day he bought it (garage kept and detailed weekly). People may think he's "rich", but he just likes nice things and takes very good care of them.

I only buy clothes from GAP, Gymboree, Polo, etc for my kids. But, I have 3 boys and the younger two mostly wear hand-me-downs. Yes, I'll spend $60 on a winter coat from the GAP, but all three of my boys have worn it!

We don't eat out much and I don't have a smart phone--don't need one! Oh, and I have an Ipad--but I won it!

I rarely think "oh my you must be rich." I'm old enough to know that
most "supposed signs" of wealth are meaningless, and that people with lots of money tend to NOT show off. My parents have some truly wealthy friends. You would never see them buying silly cars and bags. It would be wasting money in their heads.

In fact, I find it amusing that the two young couples that bought the foreclosed mcmansions on my block drive BMWs. Did you know that 60% of BMW drivers lease? They don't even own them.

I knew this young girl from my Bradly Class. She had to drive a Volvo, and she said she would never be caught in a minivan that wasn't a Volvo. Needless to say, when accidental pregnancy number 3 came along, she got a Honda like the rest of us.

If people want to waste their money on supposed "signs of wealth," good for them, but I prefer to save my money for retirement.

People assume we have less money than we do. My daughter wears some nice stuff, but I am frugal and rarely waste money. I don't get my hair colored, or my nails done, etc. and I rarely spend a lot on clothes. We also live in a small house. With that said, hubby makes decent money. We have no debt, and we can afford our 6k trips to visit our family in Ireland. We did it twice this year, without any need for credit or without it impacting our general budget. So no, people don't assume we are wealthy, yet, compared to most, we are well off. I rarely worry about money, as we have more than enough and I am very frugal and practical. I am thankful everyday to have more than enough. We are very fortunate.

Sadly, I'm not sure anyone has ever assumed I was rich. I need to work on my image.
But if they did it would be because our house is kinda big. We bought a run down, smelly, tiny house and my husband remodeled and built on and doubled the size, he did almost everything from designing the house and drawing up the plans to installing the plumbing himself. We thought it would be a great investment (course we didnt know about the housing market.....)

My husband and I don't play this game. We paid cash for our 3k sq foot house, have no debt - no car payments, no credit card debt, so school loans, nothing. I don't assume someone is rich because they drive a luxury car or have a pool or have a Coach purse. Most of my family members have Coach purses and not a lot of disposable income. They just have a lot of debt. In fact, usually when I see people with these luxury items, I assume they are probably over extended, which is more likely the case than being rich. My husband and I are well off, not rich, but it's because we don't pretend to be rich when we are not.

It's all relative, but these preconceived notions do exist. Funny thing is, I've had designer handbags like Kate Spade, Coach and Gucci. A few years ago I wanted a Burberry purse just because I love that plaid style. It is so classic and never goes out of style. I googled Burberry and then googled Burberry knock-offs! LOL oh my the price tags on those bags were ridiculous. Even some of the knock-off prices were more than I wanted to spend. I mentioned it to my mom that I was looking at them and she found one on ebay for a couple hundred dollars. She said she would pay half if I wanted it as a birthday gift. The thing is, I have had an original designer bag on my shoulder and I've also carried a cute trendy bag I picked up at Kohls or Target...doesn't feel any different on my arm! I declined the purse because the truth of the matter is I would rather give up luxuries like designer bags, clothes and other trinkets to stay home with my kids. I would cry if I had to put them in daycare, so I could work to make enough money to buy these things. Not worth it, to me. Everything has an opportunity cost and that is mine.
One time I was looking to buy a car. I really loved the Kia Sorrento because it reminded me of a Lexus suv. By the time I found a Sorrento that had all the perks on it that I wanted the price I was going to pay, I could actually look at luxury brands. So instead I went and leased a brand new BMW because for all the perks that were extra on the Kia, came standard on the BMW, and my payment was for the same monthly amount! The thing is, I have driven luxury cars and ones that aren't- for all intents and purposes, they all got me from point A to point B just fine.
What's funny is you never really know who has what and how much. It just depends who flaunts it to create that image. I live in the same town as Warren Buffet. I have seen his house that just blends in with every other one on his street. We all know he's one of the richest people on the planet, but you couldn't tell it by the home he lives in, the car he drives or the clothes he wears! It's so easy to get caught up in status symbols, but I have found investing in my relationships is a far better return than any material item I could buy, but if it's a good deal then I say go for it!
A.

Really just their house. When I see all the mega mansions, I think they must be rich. Then I think badly of them because who the hell needs a house that big unless you are just showing off?

The rest of the stuff can be bought if you are middle class and you are crappy with your money. You can drive a nice car but have Goodwill furniture and live with your parents. Does not mean you are rich.

Pretty sure NO ONE has ever assumed I was rich with anything I have ever owned. I have no desire to carry a designer purse unless it's Hermes. I have no desire to wear an expensive watch unless it's a Cartier. LOL so since I can't afford either I will stick with my Nine West and Calvin Klien's from TJMaxx LOL We have a small cape cod and a silver minivan. Nothing "rich" around here. Just regular ol' middle class stuff.

I never assume that just because someone has some certain "thing" that they are rich. Most people I know that would appear "rich" are deeply in debt and don't technically "own" their things because they are paying them off.

Now, the people who have paid off homes, no debt, a beater for a car, and shop at the thrift store, they are more rich than than those with loads of debt & nice things.

yes-the sweatshirts people wear with the name of the university that their child is attending!

My first thought when I see those sorts of status symbols is that the person has lots of debt. Seriously though, I try not to make assumptions. I've known people with big expensive houses who can barely afford clothes, furniture or entertainment. I know people who walk around with iphones and Coach purses, but live in apartments. I know people who go to Disney every year, yet they don't have college funds for their kids. I know people who spend every penny they make eating in restaurants and people who buy coffee at Starbucks every day despite the fact that they are in debt. I also know people who live in modest houses, drive ordinary cars, wear second hand clothes, but live comfortable lives, have their homes paid for, education funds for their kids and enough money to cover them in case of an emergency. The most decadent thing I buy for myself is Lululemon, but I wear it to get my moneys worth out of it!

I never assume people are rich by anything they own...credit can get you far.

And I hate how when I tell people that my husband is a pilot that they assume we make good money. No....he started off making $17,000 a year....at a job where he is gone a lot and now makes about twice that after being with the company for 7 years. And no...we don't get to fly for free and benefits suck! Unfortunately flying is in the blood and it is really hard to get moved to the major airlines.

And yes, last year we took a long Disney trip that we could not technically afford. But my mom passed away leaving us some money and since she always wanted to take the grand kids there, me and my siblings decided to use that money to go as a family reunion/remembrance of our mom. It built great lasting memories and our family is closer than ever.

I used to make lots of assumptions about lifestyle, parenting, etc when I was younger. But now I know you can never judge a book by its cover. You never know the details.

The people in my circle who appear to have it all and can go/do anything, have large amounts of credit card debt. My closest friends have $10k-$20K. I have none.. I wouldn't change that for the world.

I'm surprised that your original post was not yanked, since there was no question in there that I could find.

I believe that people think my husband and I have a lot more money than we do because we have a bigger, newer house than some other friends/acquain-
ances. Not a half million dollar 4,000 square foot home or anything like that, but when I have a 2,400 sq foot 4 br colonial with 2 kids, and they live in the 1,100 sq foot 3 bd ranch with 4 kids, they assume we have more money - but those people often have newer cars, newer furniture, coach bags, salon manicures, meals out in restaurants, yearly vacations, more put away for their kids' college and their own retirement than my husband and I do. They have more money. People just don't know what your finances are and it's not their business.

I am a SAHM due to unemployment. I got involved in a mom's group where the women are able to stay at home by choice, as far as I know. I'd love to stay home by choice but can't because we are not a one-income family.

I never assumed they were rich, but comfortable living on one-income.

I say this because I was welcomed into this group with open arms, despite my Honda!

Sure I can't contribute to conversations that involve world travel with their little ones or upgrading my Lexus, but I can't assume anything.

I also use this experience as educational. Most high-end name brands I never heard of so I just kind of nod.

Even growing up name brands and status never interested me!

Driving a Hummer is definitely a status symbol.
I wouldn't want to own one myself.
If I ever won a huge lottery I would not run out and buy one.
But when I see one being driven I can't help but think that the owner is loaded.

We're pack animals at heart.
We're all aware of status on some level.
We have standards and we all have a sense of what is classy vs low class.
We tend to brag if there's a doctor or a lawyer in the family and absolutely NO ONE will brag about having anyone working as a prostitute in the family.
It's impossible to better yourself if you have no idea what 'better' means.

People have assumed wealthy because I travelled all the time.

Nope!!!

Even after kids when I WAS paying for airfare... I'm a past master as traveling on the cheap. Argentina for 6 weeks? 2k. EU for a month? 2k again.

And that's AFTER I had to pay for airfare. When I was young and single I would
- Take a courier job
- Date a pilot / air traffic control / etc. (NOT just for the ticket! But when you travel a lot, you meet people in airports if you're at Chatty Cathy like me)
- Military Space A

Now that I don't do the above, anytime I have money left over after bills... Not presently.... I drop $50-100 in the travel fund.

Travel is Incrediably important to me. Even $50 a month will get me out of the country in 2 years. More than $50? Ill be out sooner. That's what most of my friends spend on things I don't buy (alcohol, clothes, lunches, etc.)

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People also question my clothes I order from the UK. Jeans being $100-160, for example.

I have a 37" inseam (meaning I need to wear 38" length ('tall' in the US being 5 inches too short!). I own 4 pairs of pants. That I artistically patch. And 10 shirts (most of them camisoles). I buy a new pair of pants every 2-3 years. I CANNOT shop thrift clothes. Not unless you wanna see my belly, and always be in daisy dukes or capris.

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Huh. What's another. Snowboarding. $50 a month to ride. For TWO people. Meanwhile I get told 'Must be nice to have money!' By moms who have their kids in $200 a month piano lessons. And gym memberships.

I just think that it's nice to be able to do simple addition & subtraction :)!!

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I assume wealth, too!!! I'm not immune. There's a Lotus parked st my church on a regular basis that I'd like to walk up and LICK. :D I have friends who live 'on the lake' (where property taxes alone are typically more than my mortgage), and one family has a seaplane. Lots of other examples but thos spring to mind! So i make assumptions, too.

My girlfriend gave me a coach purse that she did not want. (about 2 months old) I have been treated differently when i wear it.... well that and my other girlfriends "kate spade" sunglasses :) I cannot afford these things by any means. I am however willing to take hand me downs! To answer your question, i absolutely get treated differently. Hard to explain, but i do.

Not a good idea to make snap judgements on what you see on the outside. Coach bag can be a gift, or second hand. Heck even from those back rooms in NY lol. Or a fake coach bag. AS for Disney I live in Florida so a three hour drive and get in free for bday or a 20 dollar night hotel. Or if you see them maybe they are guests. The schools down here do candy drives for day trips to universals etc. I do not like to go on first impressions. You meet someone first impressions maybe they are this or that but once you get a bit deaper you see this or that. I've been to Ohio and the only thing I rmember the most was allthe bees. Couldnt walk 2 inches without seeing one. Not a big bee fan :].

In our community, if you own more than one house we consider you rich. There are many who have summer homes or just buy the property next to theirs so no one else buys it. We have one house and that's plenty for us!

I just bought an Ergobaby baby carrier. Ive been super jealous of anyone that has one forever, I finally bought one. Its wonderful, and so much better on my back than that stupid bjorn. I joked with my husband that I have a 'status' carrier now. If I see someone with a stroller that I can tell is expensive, like a bugaboo, I assume they have a few bucks to spare.

Nahh. not really.
I mean, sure if you can afford a new Jag (and the repair bills to go along with all the maintenance they require, and a spare vehicle to drive while the Jag is in the shop) then you obviously have a good income stream. But, for the more minor things that people SEE? (purses, shoes, clothes, vacation pictures, etc)... I don't think anyone "must be rich" to afford any of that stuff.

I could have all that stuff, too, if I put it on my credit card. And who's to say that the person you are seeing didn't do just that? I'd rather have a $0 balance on my credit card, and wear my Levi's and carry my LG phone (not an iPhone) that doesn't have a matching data plan. That stuff isn't important to me.

When I see a young, single mom with fresh manicures and designer sunglasses, I do wonder if she has a college fund for her designer dressed baby and a good health insurance plan for them, though.

We have a pool (and it isn't behind a mobile home), but that doesn't make us rich. My husband's car is almost 10 years old and my own is 7 years old, both with OVER 250,000 miles on them. They aren't premium vehicles, either. But they are comfortable and get the job done nicely, so no need to salivate over somebody else's Porsche Cayenne, ya know?

There are some pricey homes nearby (Sea Island, GA... you know.. where they closed all non-resident traffic for the G-8 summit a few years ago?)... Yeah... those folks are probably so rich it is sick. Doesn't affect me, either way. Non-issue. Pretty much anything else you can buy/do with a credit card, but not multi-million dollar real estate purchases.

Usually, when I see stuff that is blatantly bling-y, I wonder if they have been wise or if they have spent their money recklessly. I am not judgmental about it, I just wonder which it is. Because I don't know.

I know that "I" could never bring myself to spend over $100 on a purse. It just isn't a choice I would make. I do believe in spending sufficient funds to buy quality, rather than "saving" by buying cheap and having to re-buy something again and again because it was the cheap one that broke or wore out early. UP to $100, I can do (have done). But I don't do it easily... I contemplate whether I really will like it THAT much more than the $60 purse that is similar....

I don't think of others as rich based on what I see (or don't see). But I admit that I DO tend to see flashy things and take a moment to consider if it says anything about their wisdom or character. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn't mean a thing.

As for what people assume about me? How the heck do I know what they assume? I don't think I own anything that anyone would assume sets me apart as rich. I HAVE felt awkward saying my kids were in private school... but that isn't ownership of something. (AND, THAT can be put on a credit card, too, lol).

I doubt anyone is going to assume we are well off, but that is all perspective.

To some family, we look 'rich'. To others, we may not. I don't care! We are financially stable and that is all that matters. :) But, what they may not see is that I seriously bargain shop and we don't buy a lot of expensive extras (things we don't need).

And honestly, when I see someone flashing their money I see them as insecure. I have family members that worry about their image and suck as parents.....does that make me envious....not for a moment.

The size of their home indicates their income due to having had to qualify for the loan. The vehicles they drive same thing.

BUT that house may have a payment that is so high they can't afford any extra's so they're "house poor".

Once upon a time we bought program vehicles through hubby's credit union at work and our monthly payments on them together was just over $700 per month. The insurance on them together was just over $1100 every 6 months since the credit union required up to have full coverage. We got rid of them after about a year because it was just too much out of our pay. We loved the cars though. Hubby's was a premium 2000 Mercury Sable with leather seats, the stick in the floor, sunroof, all the bells and whistles. It only have about 10K miles on it. I had a 1998 Ford Taurus that was almost custom for every detail I ever wanted in a car. It only had about 28K miles on it. I loved getting in that car and driving everywhere.

I felt rich when I sat behind that wheel...lol. It was my perfect car. I know, it was just a Ford Taurus but it was "my" color, I loved the interior, and it fit my hiney perfectly.

If someone lives in a huge house that is really really nice and it is nicely landscaped and kept up, that person looks well off. Once my cousins that lived in a beautiful mansion in Heritage Hills in OKC were really sad. I couldn't understand why, they had a maid, didn't have to do any chores, nothing. They said their mom was upset a few days before. She had needed to go get something at the store and couldn't even find 2 pennies.

So they looked rich but actually were not. All the fancy parties they had been giving for politicians and city officials had finally taken their toll. They were broke. They sold out and moved down to a really small town in SE Oklahoma where they eventually built a home that was almost a duplicate of the Heritage Hills home. Everyone in that little town though they were an exclusive family with a ton of money but they just barely scraped by.

Here in 'Oil Land', people who own 2nd homes, or vacation cottages with boats, skis, jet skis, motorhomes, etc are considered rich. Or they vacation annually in the Cayman Islands, or Fiji, or equally exotic places.

What's really a drag, is that people assume we're rich simply because of my husband's profession. He's the lead singer in a well known band (in his genre-not radio popular or anything) that has been touring for 20 years. I'm a ft stay-at-home mom while he travels 99% of the time. Sometimes I hear remarks that lead me to believe people think we must have it easy. Nothing rude, but just logical assumptions. What people don't know is: Bands that are not huge commercially do NOT make money. When he's on tour (the only income available to working bands now that everyone downloads albums for free instead of buying them), his salary is comparable to any average job, and when he's not, he gets 0$ even if he's out of town working on writing and recording between albums, so we'll have to live a full year or two at times with no income at all other than small random royalties checks or late merch payments. We have no health insurance, etc. We moved to a very cheap location to live on one income so we could budget through thick and thin while I stayed home for a few years while the kids are small. We knew we would be paying our child deliveries out of pocket (and we did for six years of monthly payments), so we went into a massive spending freeze during a couple of decent earning years, and used all savings for our kids' births.

But he's sort of "famous" so people "notice us" in a small town. ALSO because of the music industry pitfalls, he's been clobbered with lawsuits, IRS debacles from crooked accountants-you NAME it we've had financial problems INCLUDING tax returns that recorded high earnings one year that he never received (paid directly to lawyers and lawsuit) which eventually led us to chapter 7.

So ANYWAY. While I'm fine without any fancy materialistic status symbols, and I don't mind being home with kids 24/7 with no daycare or housecleaning help, no manicures, massages, shopping for nice outfits, etc.. It has been hard the many times when I said no to gatherings or girl's nights out because I couldn't afford to bring a bottle of wine and get a sitter while people assume we're rock stars. :) We've actually had bare cupboards several times and some panic going on, and no one would have any idea. Disney vacations??!! Um nope.
(this year is better though, so no worries :)

When I see other people around here with brand names or certain cars (in this area it may be a big beefed up truck :)....maybe because of my own situation, I assume they don't have money but bought that item as a painkiller :) But if I'm back in NYC (where I used to live when I was working) and see people with nice things and clothes in nice homes, I assume they probably are wealthy with two high incomes or family money etc. Depends on the setting and location.

We moved here from Europe in 2007 just before the housing market crashed. We looked at houses but they were so unbelievable expensive. I was wondering how in the world everyone could afford those expensive houses. I assumed everyone must be making tons of money. After living here some time I realized that a) most people paid about half as much for their house than what they were on the market for in 2007 and b) many people couldn't really afford them.
Ps: Luckily for us we rented until 2009 and we bought our house in 2009.