Oh Hell No!

I don't know. How old is the newest addition to the family? What is he going to do for you when he gets home so YOU can have some "down" time?

Can you afford him to go? If not - then how does he think he's going to pay for it?
If you can - why can't you all go?

Why can't you go with the kids BEFORE September so you CAN go?
Instead of moping about how much you miss doing something - I would plan something else instead...it doesn't ALWAYS have to be Destin...make new memories somewhere else...

I would talk with him and tell him just how disappointed you are that he would plan a trip to Destin without you and the kids and maybe try to think of something that you can ALL do together....

HELL NO!!! Not because of the destination but because there is no way he should be going and leaving me home with two children and one of them being a new born. He has bumped his head and lost his mind.

Tell him, "I'm not into telling you what you can and can't do, but I want to talk about this because it's bothering me." And go from there. He may not realize how upset you are. If it's location, ask him if they can change the location.

I would be okay with it, despite the fact that I would want to go. I don't mean to take shots, and maybe it's the wording of your post, but it sounds like you are being selfish. You don't want him to go because you will be jealous and resentful. What about your husband and his feelings?

I'm not sure if I understand... you want your husband to have fun even if you can't go with him, but you don't want him to go to Destin because that's where you got married and that's where the two of you vacationed?

Honestly, that doesn't make sense to me. Why does it matter where he goes? If you want him to have fun, let him go wherever he wants.

My husband travels and does stuff with buddies all the time. (on top of traveling a lot for work) I enjoy the break from him :) And I like him to be able to do that. And I always ask for something fun for myself in exchange, so I get some kid free time when he gets back. His has to watch the kids for the exact same amount of hours as his trip, so, if he was gone for days, and I break the time up into sections of hours...I get lots of "alone afternoons" in my studio yaaaaaay.

Yes I would be. If it's something that can fit in the budget, I don't see why you wouldn't let him go. Then plan a fun getaway for yourself!

Sometimes our weekends away don't always end up "even" but over time, things tend to be pretty fair - he went to Miami in the middle of the winter to go hang out with his dad and brother on a boat while I was home pregnant with 2 kids and a dog in a record cold snap and the furnace broke so we had to go to my parents' house in the middle of the night. That sucked for me, but there have been plenty of times where I've gone to the beach for 2 nights with just my girlfriends or have gone to FL or NY to visit my sisters so it all evens out.

I think you're a little sore about the location because it's special to you and you haven't been able to go, but it's not your husband's fault that that's where his friend bought a condo. Maybe some other time you can all go down, but for this trip - let him go!

To my favorite vaca spot without me? No. I'd be mad.

It would not bother me. My husband has gone on trips with the guys and I am fine with having the house to myself. I've gone on trips with girls and trips by myself. My hubby does travel a lot so I just don't have an issue with this.

That said, we are very secure in our relationship and there are no issues as far as jealousy, resentment, etc.

HOWEVER, I do understand where you are coming from because you have a new baby and you want to get out too. Maybe a compromise? Maybe he will watch the children for 1-2 nights on a weekend and allow you to stay at a nice hotel with spa and get some great spa treatments, relaxation and recharge.. I do think you are right no NOT TELLING him NOT to go. Just communicate and make sure he knows how you feel.

My husband is currently on vacation in California without me (my home state that I miss!). I was like - bye-bye, have fun! He was griping so much about needing a vacation, I wanted him to go just to get it out of his system. I don't even HAVE vacation time with my new job until November (he was almost going to go on a cruise without me, but his work schedule changed - it would be him with my inlaws and daughter, and again, bon voyage!). My daughter and I are enyoing her first week of kindergarten with just us girls :).

I would be fine with it. I go and do things often with my son without my husband. Once or twice he's commented on it and it is incredibly frustrating.

I went to Savannah for a long weekend in June with some old friends- I was in a wedding. He didn't come with me b/c our son wasn't invited and it was just too expensive for the 3 of us to fly down there, hotel for 3 nights and a sitter for 2 nights. I went by myself with the understanding that he was OK with it and NOT going to be a jerk about it. I have to say I was proud of him b/c he held up his end of the bargain.

Let him go. When he gets back, plan an overnight with a few girlfriends. If you're going to hold it against him though, it's not going to be worth it for him and you will ruin the whole experience for him. If you get the chance to do the same thing- you'll be out of luck.

Besides, Floridians refer to Destin as the "Redneck Riviera"- I'm sure you could go someplace way more cosmopolitan and fun without him! Come to NYC- so much better!

I think most of the answers so far are missing the point. You are not saying you don't want him to go someplace without you - you are saying THIS place without you THIS time. Not cool.

But - before you go at him, are you sure he isn't planning this fishing trip IN ADDITION to another Destin trip with you?

Also, if he is like my husband, he didn't even think about the previous discussions you two have had. He is a one topic guy. He probably thinks "well, Molly and I have been to Destin all those years, now I can go with my buddy".

Since he is not doing it to be MEAN - cut him some slack and talk about it with him. The nicer I am to my husband and the more I tell him "go, have a good time", the less he does. The second I try to say "hey, you cannot do that without me!" I am sitting alone in the living room watching the travel channel.

But to answer your question - I would have to be ok with my husband going, because he would go anyway, so why fight? Also, unlike the other wives, I wouldn't get my own trip in return. My husband would make me feel bad about leaving the kids, whine about how he couldn't handle it without me, and I would end up staying home. So my advice, take your own trip - TAKE IT WITH ME!! OMG best idea ever.

I maybe missing something, but why don't you and the kids go too? If you like to go as a family and have been for 10 years previously, Why don't you just go too?

My wife and I've traveled with 8 kids. Three would be too easy.

Good luck to you and yours.

Get busy planning a vacation in Destin for a time next year you both can go, since you obviously can't go in Sept anymore. Then let him go fishing with his friend.

He wont have as much fun without you there. That should make you feel better.

Being the location has so much meaning to the both of you and a place you normally went together, I would be mad, jealous and resentful if he went with out me after expressing how much I miss going and want to go so badly.

I would let him go.. as you said... but yes I would have a hard time with those feelings also as I was trying to put on a happy face for him. Talk to him and let him know your true feelings... nicely! and let him deciede if its what he really wants to do or if he would be willing to go next year with you.

Drop the jealousy, it's an unattractive trait. You CAN help your feelings. You can decide to be understanding, and not resentful. Either take your kids and see the beach, or plan you own trip and be proactive.

I would be okay with him going but I would expect that when he gets back, I get some "me time" too. I can understand being jealous since it's a place that you both have enjoyed and has special meaning (we have that too!), so maybe if you let him go, you can also talk to him about going back together as a family in the near future, at a time when school is not an issue. Talk with him about how you are feeling and see what he says. Personally I wouldn't mind my hubby getting out of my hair once in a while.

Communication is good, but you shouldn't just say NO you CANT go, like you're his mother or something. Does he work? Is he a good husband and father? And he hasn't gotten a chance to go on a little vacation because of your rock solid "same week, every year" thing and now it's during school?Let him go fish!!! He's not hopping strip clubs, he's doing a good healthy "guy thing". He probably thinks he's being good because he's saving money by staying at a friend's condo instead of going somewhere else and staying at the Ritz. And plan next summer to go on a DIFFERENT week or month, before school starts! In the meantime, yeah---I totally totally get the need to have a break. I think TF had a wonderful idea of having a spa day (if you don't want to leave your baby overnight, which I wouldn't want to do). I'd give him a big hug and kiss, tell him to have a wonderful time and come back happy, refreshed, and bring you some fresh fish for the grill. Write a short love note or silly card and slip it in his bag. When he comes back, he can watch the children while you go to the spa. My husband got me a day at the spa a couple months after each of my boys were born: 1 hour massage, pedicure, nice lunch, manicure, and facial. Then I went to a coffee house and read a book for a little while before coming home. It makes the whole world better. :)
(And yeah, you deserve to hit the beach too. Plan something and start saving now, for summer or spring with the family!)

Nope, unless I was also going on some child-free girl's trips -which I do! It's tit-for-tat in our house, but no, if I hadn't been on vacation in two years, my husband woukd know better than to mention this unless it involved us all going! I love going on trips with my friends, so I usually don't begrudge him his guy weekends -as long as I get mine -and they're in the works. I also love getting away for weekends by myself! He should realize if it's been two years since yoy had a vacation that first, either you two or the family goes on vacation before he gets to!

Does he normally plan an out of town fishing trip? If so, I don't see this as being any different.

You need to be proactive and honest with him.
Yes, he should be able to go if he wants to go. And without any residual resentment from you.. Tell him this is his Christmas gift. Ha!

Just tell him you are totally jealous and then figure out a way you guys can go sometime in the future.. Start really planning for it..

Find a babysitter that can be groomed for the trip to stay with the kids. Or your parents or his, get them on board for a future babysitting event.

Start socking away money.. look at when would be a good time weather wise or whatever.

My husband and I do not give each other gifts anymore. No mothers day, Christmas, Birthday.. instead we use that money for our fun times.. Going out to eat, going out of town.. Maybe it is time to consider something like this for you 2. You need this.. You deserve this.. Work on it.

I would be open with him about your feelings and have a discussion. I would tell him if it's that important and he choose to go, maybe you could have a week away, also.

My SO got to take our LO to the circus for the first time this past weekend. There were only two tickets available so only one of us could go with her and the other had to stay home with our 8 month old. I was so jealous and a little hurt (felt left out even though it wasn't on purpose), etc. I knew how much my SO wanted to go and share that experience with her so of course there was no question as to who would go. But I did ask him to be sensitive towards me regarding the event because I was jealous. My 8 month old and I had a good time - it's rare that we get one on one and I didn't realize how much I would enjoy it.

On another note, he is talking about going skiing this fall with his Mother and of course we already talked about how traveling with two little ones is a hassle so that means he was talking about just him going up. Of course, I am jealous again because I love skiing and would love to share that experience with him again but I guess I will just have to suck it up for now...

He does deserve a break. He's a great partner and Dad. I can't begrudge him some time to relax and have fun... but that doesn't mean I won't be bummed... but on the bright side - the girls and I will have some quality time =)

I'd be okay with him going as long as fair is fair and you get to take a vacation as well. I think going to Destin....well give him the benefit of the doubt. Could be he likes it so much because of all the good memories that he really wants to go there.
So when he gets back, why not go there for your vacation as well? If he ends up feeling resentful, then hunker down and decide both of you go together next time.
But it isn't fair he takes off and you don't; no matter where he goes to.

I would be OK with him going. It is in the same place as your special vacation place..oh well. Since it IS your special vacation place, he will prob be thinking about YOU the whole time..... that's a good thing. Jealousy and resentment is a terrible thing to carry around. Have you talked to him about your feelings about this? Maybe he hasn't thought about it that way. He has picked a vacation spot that he enjoys and prob has no clue ....guys sometimes don't get those things LOL! I would wish him "happy fishing" and move on.