My daughter has always displayed traits that could be classified as ocd since she was a toddler, although at the toddler age the answer is all toddlers are like that. Now that she's older, 5, I see that its continuing still and want to know if this is common so young, and if there are tips and tricks to help her "get over" certain ones if it's even possible.
Things seem to set off and create new habits...she will have the same habit for months and then create new ones it seems
one example--- We were in a car accident when she was 3, hit by a drunk driver. Her car seat was always in the middle of the car, and because her cousin was also in the car the day before it was on the side, which she ussually begs for, well 2 minutes before being hit, she got upset and told M. we needed to pull over and change her car seat to the middle and it J. wasnt safe on the side, within seconds a drunk driver turns from the opposite direction and guns for us hitting my side where she was too...well ever since that she obsesses on certain things related to that
her toys in the car were taken with the car when it was towed, we got them back but for almost a year later she was obsessed and had tons of habits of making sure her toys never left her side. Each time I openmed the car door shed have to check to make sure nothing fell out. I got a silver car because it was silver and she was having meltdowns over the change...and she still takls about missing the car a year and a half later. Also, she became obsessed with my driving for that year too. Watching the road and being a backseat driver. Imagine a 3 year old back seat driver making sure you don't hit any yellow lines, use your turn signal, dont speed at a yellow light....lol
Her other habits including--some she has given up
--pushing her eyebrows down multipkle times, she uses her finger and kind of smoothes them down by rrunning her finger along them both at once..(for some reason i keep thinking of the comedy where the guy licks his thumb and pinky on one hand and uses it to push both eyebrows down at once...lol...can;t think of the movie...she doesnt lick them and uses two hands)
---biting her lower lip--all throughout the day until it blisters (she goes off and on with this one--currently not doing it
- she seems to get obsessed with certain things, my dog i had growing up that lived with my parents died when she was 2 1/2 she still talks about this multiple times a week and gets upset
- she gets obsessed with certain topics--when she was 2 it was the solar system--and she wanted to be an ansronaut when she was 3 it was dinosurs and she wanted to be a paleontoligist, (both of which seem fine but mean watching documentaries on them constantly, tlaking about them nonstop...) now its math, non stop times tables and math problems, when were eating dinner, in the car...this is probably somewhat my fault...ever since she was 2 we'd do math to distract her in lines, in the car....but lately its constant
she used to flick her fingers and nails constantly.
The latest one which is like nails on a chalk board is sniffling...she got a cold a month ago and had the sniffles well now she sniffles every 2 seconds, so much so to make her nose bleed...and i'm not sure if its habit or really bothering her--but its not like the normal sniffles, its constant...I was so irked I tried offering to pay her if she could stop for 10 minutes-- i should include that she gets allergies for a month or two this time every year, so the having the sniffles this much isn't odd its J. the frequency of it...but last night was the first night i didn't hear her do it
there are probably several more but I cant think of them now
But my question is, is there anyway to distract her or get her to stop a habit? Are there tips for dealing with a kids with ocd...can a kid this little even have ocd?
thanks
also her dad has ocd if that helps. When she was 2 I thought she had Aspergers, she was so insanely smart, and her teacher thought she was verbally gifted, she woul;d lecture adults on grammar, but this all seemed to fade when I went back to work full time, shes above average but not off the charts like she was at 2, and shes shy but has friends and plays with them daily at school. I thought kids with aspergers couldn't make friends...and she is very aware of others and her own feelings...it seems too much..i thought asperger kids had troubles relating to others? interesting...i'm looking foward to reading more comments
This is definitely beyond the normal "quirks" of childhood. She seems to be dealing with stress or anxiety in an outward way, which is very normal for a young child. I would be calling a child psychologist today. This isn't something another mom can J. give you tips on getting through, this is something she and you need to work through with a professional. Good luck!
Your daughter does not sound like any OCD or Aspergers or any other anomaly. She sounds normal and impressionate child. I think you need to be patient and follow her safety rituals whenever possible. Sniffling and flicking is not alarming, sometimes kids like to practice new behaviors they learn for a while. Consult psychologist if you wish but I am sure she will be classified as normal for her age.
The first part...regarding the accident: That isn't OCD. That's PTSD. I advise talking to your pediatrician and perhaps a pediatric psychiatrist/counselor.
Second, regarding her tics and interests...many children develop little tics like those you've mentioned. They usually get over them as they grow. My boys both occasionally bite/suck on their bottom lip. My oldest will stretch his neck over and over. They usually don't realize they're doing it at all...but I've found that a reminder helps. Eventually they stop doing it altogether. My ex's son used to rub his nose, eyes and mouth over and over. It'd get worse if he was stressed.
I J. reread...hand flicking? It's sounding more and more like your child might have mild Asperger's. My ex's son has this (I researched it and diagnosed it). Perhaps you might consider researching this very high functioning form of autism? Aspies tend to be highly sensitive, highly intelligent children who learn and grasp the world in a unique way. If this is your daughter, you'll need to learn about it so you can teach her coping mechanisms which will help her to succeed in school learning environments and social situations.
Interests are going to seem obsessive...of COURSE her "flavor of the month" will be the topic of all her conversations. Common for Aspies are intense interests in planes, trains, space, dinosaurs, weather, disasters, death, cars, military, history, antiques, and more. That's okay because her brain NEEDS to learn. And if she loves it...give her more on the topic so she can focus on those things, but you'll need to help her learn to control herself and recognize when those she's "lecturing" are getting bored. Aspies tend to be socially awkward and dominate conversations.
I hope this helps a little...it's J. the tip of the iceberg. Asperger's is a highly complex condition and needs lots of research and time to fully understand and diagnose. She might not have it at all...but from what you're telling M., that's what I'm thinking.
ETA: Oh...and my ex (the little boy's father) is an Aspie too. As is his father. Three generations of Aspies. ;-)
In response to your "So What Happened," Aspies are all different. Some might exhibit some behaviors more strongly than others...or not at all. It's a spectrum disorder...not all symptoms may be there. Aspies cannot usually be definitively diagnosed until age 8 or so.
Finally...it might be that she's gifted. Perhaps you might consider having her tested? Gifted kids, like aspies, can sometimes have some strange little quirks. ;o) I know I did/do.
My daughter showed very early signs of anxiety and OCD type habits from about the age of 3, nail biting, constant hand washing, obsession with germs and whether or not the food she's eating is bad/expired. Through psychotherapy we have learned she has emetophobia (sp?) an extreme fear of vomiting.
Like your daughter, my daughter's habits were annoying, but they were made MUCH worse and DID affect her life drastically after a particularly nasty stomach flu she had while my husband and I were out of the country (she was almost 12 at the time.) Long story short, her therapist has diagnosed her with post traumatic stress disorder, brought on by the trauma of facing an incredibly fearful experience all by herself, and has been treating her for that with tremendous success. I'm pretty sure that car accident was very traumatic for your daughter, and it may have kicked her already high anxiety into even higher gear, like it did for my daughter when she was left home alone for hours, vomiting violently :(
Some of the repetitive habits you describe sound like OCD, but I'm not sure about the other stuff, like the obsession to learn about certain subjects (?) I would for sure see your pediatrician and get a referral for a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders in children, the sooner the better!
The thing about ocd is that they are doing these "habits" because they believe if they don't, something bad will happen. They may not immediately be able to tell you what that bad thing is, but they believe that by performing these rituals they will prevent bad things.
That's where it sounds like your daughter is headed, if she's not already there. You need to get her some help - she needs to talk to someone about her fears - they seem to be taking over her behavior.
Also, and I hope I don't get flamed for this because I don't really know much about it, but can these also be symptoms of a degree of autism?
your ped can recommend a child psychologist for you.
My son was diagnosed borderline at 2. Thankfully he out grew it!!
Try to change the subject, get her attention on anything else you can to break the obsessive thought or actions. It takes alot of distractions and some putting your foot down.
With my son he would obsess with his food. It had to be a certain plate. The plate that it had to be had a large area on the bottom and 3 small areas on the top ( it was rectangle). Each space had to have food in them. His cups had to be full at all times. Logic is when you take a drink it goes down. Not with him. After a drink he would have major meltdowns until we filled it up. His melt downs weren't regular kid tantrums! There was no getting him out of them until we did what he needed. It was like a light switch that went on and off. His bananas had to be peeled half way down. They could not brake. Grapes had to be a certain color... no purple! Actually he wouldn't eat or drink anything purple. Apples cut a certain way. etc
With his toys. He had to have them set up J. right. Arms, legs, heads all a certain way. He would line them up and they had to be identical. Try telling a 1 1/2 yr old that the guy came a certain way and can't be moved to the way he wanted! We couldn't throw the boxes any toys came in away. At night he would put them back in thier boxes they came in and store them.
His routine for the day had to be the same. He was thrown out of whack if we J. picked up and had to leave. Or came home late and had to go right to bed.
I even asked about it on here and more said it sounded like aspergers. We took him in and they quickly ruled that out but he was diagnosed with borderline ocd by age of 2. At 4 you would never guess he had acted like that. All we did was very lovingly but sternly put our foot down on things and had to show him things a million times J. because it wasn't a certain way it wasn't broke and you could still eat, drink or play with it.
With your daughter and the car I would change the subject. I would acknowledge her thoughts and fears because they are very real to her! But I would allow it one time and after that change the subject and not talk about it. If she insists then firmly tell her we are not talking about it. With the fingers or the sniffing ask her to stop and give a physical cue ( put your hand on hers or on her head) the next time do it with out the verbal cue. Over time she will stop.
But it definatly wouldn't hurt to get her checked out. They will give you some great ways to stop the habits or help her work through them.
She actually sounds an awful lot like my Aspbergers son (he's 6.5). He has friends too - Asperbergers is not Autism, J. related. Aspergers is a wicked intelligence (he reads at an 8th grade level), some social awkwardness, repetitive, obsessive behaviors, sensory issues (can be related to the chewing since the mouth is a huge sense organ).
I think it's appropriate to get her accurately diagnosed. it sounds like your concerns are valid. Most school districts do the testing at no cost. You can also have her independently evaluated. For my son, getting the diagnosis was a blessing. He receives occupational therapy and they've done behavior modification in the classroom, etc. It's worked brilliantly. He's still himself, but he's much more functional and socially acceptable. One thing they discovered is that he has ZERO face recognition ability. He can't tell male from female by looking at faces - he needs other cues (hair, clothes, etc). as such, he has limited emotional recognition. He can't tell if a person is happy, excited, scared or mad. He has to go on words alone. A lot of the behavioral things end up being coping techniques because of this.
So, yeah, get her tested and see what happens. All my best,
Do you have a children's hospital in your vicinity? Find the child psychology department and call them to ask if they have someone who has experience dealing with OCD in small children. You want someone who has worked with this before.
Dawn
Yes, it can be diagnosed very young now. I would say talk to the pediatrician about this but they are not very knowledgeable about mental health issues. They act like they do but seriously, they are not professionals in the field.
I would make an appointment with a child psychologist and discuss the behaviors with them J. to be sure what you are dealing with.
