Nursing Moms with Babies Who DO NOT Comfort Nurse And/or with Fast Letdown...

Hi--
It's good he doesn't want milk if he doesn't need it--he's self-regulating which goes a long way in making sure he doesn't have a weight problem in the future. If he starts to spit up a lot or has uncomfortable digestion you might consider taking dairy and/or gluten out of your diet to make sure he's not in discomfort. I suggest picking up the book "The Happiest Baby on the Block". He describes a fail safe way to soothe your baby every time. It really works well. You will feel empowered because you'll have more than one way to soothe your little one. There's also a video if that's easier. And remember, you're still hormonal--you just gave birth after all!! Soon you will find a great rhythm with this little guy just like you did with the other two and you'll forget your were ever worried. My oldest sucked forever, my youngest ate on one side for 5 minutes at a time and that was that, so I understand. But we found a rhythm just like you will. Trust your instincts with this little guy and you'll be great!
Congratulations!!!
J.

As for as for the quick and fast let down the lactation nurse advised me to lie on my back to nurse and to pump a few minutes before nursing.

I had a fast strong let down...and my kids learned to deal with it. At first though sometimes they would let go and milk would shoot across the room.

Is there another way he can be comforted? swaddled, or rocked?

Maybe introduce a pacifier, if he wants to suck but your let down seems to disturb him.

I sense most you love being your children's source of comfort. But every baby is different and you may need to let him have a different lovey.

For my newborns, usually my letdown is too strong and they can't stay caught up. They'll pull off coughing and fussing and clearly overwhelmed by the abundance of milk (which is honestly why I don't understand the slow flow bottles for newborns - my boobs certainly aren't slow flow!). As they get older, they gain more ability to swallow faster and swallow more. Then they are fine.

I've had one who nursed 30 minutes per boob, then others who are on and off in five minutes. Some want to comfort nurse more while others don't. Whatever happens, it's good to try to comfort nurse because even those little attempts keep the boobs full of milk:-)

I would think he'd be able to keep up once he's older. Just remember that nursing is natural and your baby's ability/desire to nurse is natural too...just sometimes that means some babies want to nurse a lot and others not so much.

I've co-slept with all my babies, but when #4 arrived, she didn't want to cosleep once she reached around 4 months old! It was so bizarre to me. I didn't know babies really didn't want to co-sleep. But she literally would not settle to peaceful sleep unless I laid her in the co-sleeper. Then she would snooze well through the night. She's 15 months old and is my BEST sleeper. But it was really hard for me because I felt like I was neglecting her, but it was actually just following her cues and doing what SHE needed.

Each baby is different. You're not doing anything wrong. Just give him some time to get bigger and able to handle the let down. Mine take a few months sometimes (I have a pretty strong let down) before they are able to keep nursing without pulling off so they don't drown:-) They usually get squirted in the face while they are waiting too because my milk pours out in streams!

(((hugs)))

It's been quite a while with my baby but she was a food only eater. She didn't want a boob for comfort her left thumb was what that was for. I think she sucked her thumb before birth.

The let down was tremendous but I just would move her a bit or she was able to keep up. The unused side got a diaper until all settled down.

As others have said each child is different and you as momma have to adjust to their needs and wants and not ours. Yes you enjoyed being there to protect them and have them sleep next to them but this one may not want to sleep with you and want their own space in the crib.

Don't worry you will do a great job. Remember you have experience you nursed two others. Just enjoy him as he is. I nursed her and when she was about asleep I put her in her crib and she slept.

The other S.

PS She is still independent and 34.

My youngest was a food-only nurser. As soon as she was done with milk, she spit out the nipple and switched to her fist....then her thumb, as soon as she learned to gnaw it out of her tiny fist.

The comfort my firstborn got from nursing, my youngest got from snuggles and babywearing....and her thumb. She was a super sleeper and moved to an independent bed and sleeping through the night much earlier than my others. She self-weaned at around 30 months.

Read Elizabeth Pantley's "no-cry sleep solution" books for sleep ideas, if that's your primary concern.

My daughter is 12 months and has never really been into comfort nursing or co-sleeping. My first was almost impossible to wean at 18 months because he would've been happy nursing all day, every day (even ALL NIGHT!) so I was expecting the same from my second. She hated sleeping with us--she would kick and try to get some personal space and would only sleep soundly when I finally gave in and put her in the pack 'n play. She is by far a better sleeper than my son and has been from day 1. I was sad at first because nursing a snuggly little sleeping baby is so sweet and wonderful, and she just wanted to be put down in her own bed when she was tired. We used it as an opportunity for my husband to put her to sleep and it has really made them have a wonderful bond. She's still nursing a few times a day, but when she's tired she crawls into my husbands lap and starts kind of jumping on him until he rocks her and she passes out, it's the sweetest thing! Some babies are just more independent and don't have as much of an oral fixation as others. Let him take the lead, nurse when he wants to, and learn other ways of soothing (baby wearing, sleeping in a swing, a pacifier,etc.) him so you can have all of those in your arsenal during these next few fussy months. Congrats on your beautiful new baby!

These other mommas have suggested some great alternatives to nursing in order to comfort your baby. Food can't/shouldn't meet all needs; it's purpose is to provide nutrition & energy. You may need to employ some other techniques. I have five children and every one of them is different. I only nursed my youngest on demand. The others I had on a schedule of nursing every 2-4 hours depending on ther age and needs. I don't think one way is better than the other. You may have to change your idea about what is best or right because baby may not agree. For my first two I let them fall asleep at the breast. It ended up making everyone's life pretty hard because it was difficult to get them to sleep any other way. With the last three I had a routine of feeding, burbing, changing, rocking and then I'd lie them down when they were tired but not asleep. They would fall asleep on their own because they were ready. It was a pleasing experience for them to just fall asleep. This worked best for all of us, but everyone needs to find their own way. Trust your mommy instincts on this. Good luck! Also, only one of my children ever took a pacifier for very long, I had to listen very carefully to their cries and anticipate their needs weather they were physical or emotional.

Both my nurslings only nursed for food. They also have blankies that comforted them for everything else - whether tired, or hurt, or lonely. I actually thought it was pretty convenient, since nursing took only 5-10 minutes .

I also had an overactive let down....and it really took both of them 2-3 months to be able to eat without choking.

the fast letdown is only really an issue for new babies.. older babies learn to hancle it. also your milk supply may be more than he needs at this time.. as he gets older the supply will match hsi demand.

I'd allow him to use the breast as a pillow while both the baby matures a bit to be able to deal with the let down and as your body conforms to what is needed.

Don't stress Momma - it should all turn out good all around!!

You can also try pumping for 15 minutes just before you are about to feed him. That should get the fast letdown to a more manageable level.

My 2nd baby was like that and so is my 8 week old now. They both wanted to continue sucking once they were done nursing but didn't want to eat anymore and would get mad! I gave them pacifiers. If you don't use them I understand but some babies just need to suck more than others.
That's what worked for me and the never had a problem switching between breast and "lala". (pacifier)
Good luck!
(and as for the letdown, if it's too fast for them, I just pull them off until it stops then let them start again when they can have more control of how much they are getting)

Mine only nursed to eat as well... and wouldn't touch a pacifier with a 10' pole... and to top it all off wanted his SPACE (I'd intended on sleeping/wearing/etc but man oh man did he have different ideas. Swaddling was a *nightmare* btw. The nurses finally gave up although they sent me home with some 'in case he changes his mind'. He never did. Fastest way to guarantee a no-sleep baby was to swaddle him. 2nd was to have him in a small space; like a bassinet, swing, or cosleeping*).

Right at about 3.5 weeks, as a matter of fact, an exhausted me (no husband help, not until he was 9mo did my husband even take him for 10 minutes) I desperately needed 5 minutes so I set him down in the crib since it was safe, and less than 60 seconds later he was out like a light and slept for 3 hours. I was FLOORED. Flabberghasted. Kept checking to make sure he was breathing. By the end of the week he was sleeping from 7-7 only waking to eat at 10, 1, & 5 and then conked right back out again. MAGIC. Pure and simple magic. (and then he'd sleep again from 9-11, and 1-3... each time after being fed and marathon burped > see below.)

But back to comfort:
- he liked being held... both to look at faces or to look around (he had killer vision from very early on). He HATED being worn. He wanted arms on, and to be able to be shifted about to look at other things.
- he liked his eyebrow stroked and his head petted
- he LOVED the satin tags on his blankie (rubbing them on his face) and squeezing things with his hands

Mine rarely fell asleep nursing. He DID fall asleep getting burped. I call him my marathon burper. 45-60 minutes. Sure, he'd get a small one early on... but as soon as I figured out that he'd get a dinosaur bwaaaarp almost an hour later (dead asleep on my shoulder being rocked and patted) he became the world's happiest baby. I, too, had quick letdown and he'd be swallowing air with almost every bite. I read a LOT of books burping and rocking.

It's a pity my husband wasn't around. A baby who is comforted by holding, looking, rocking, burping is the PERFECT baby for an involved dad.

* On cosleeping : My son never did it as a baby... but he DID as a toddler. Which to me, is 10,000 times better. When they're ASKING to come snuggle, pile in, or sleep ... instead of just needing it, actually WANTING, is just heart singing happy. My son is 9 now, and he'll still pile in from time to time. We have a mommy movie night where it's just he and I hanging out watching a flick, baking cookies, talking. Pure Love.

My son only nursed for food. I wish we would have comfort nursed, because he had colic for almost 5 mos! My baby girl was the same way- heaven help me if I tried to feed her when she wasn't hungry. I learned quick to just stick a paci in that mouth and that would hush them right up. I spend many a hour rocking, holding, and listening to the "squeak-squeak-squeak" of a paci being sucked. lol But it worked. Even now that my son is 5, I can still get him in my arms in the rocker recliner and he will get relaxed instantly. We do this every night before bed and talk about our day. You'll figure it what works for you. Don't worry. Good luck!