I exclusively nursed my last baby (number 3) until I introduced solids, and since about 1 year I nurse her in the morning and before bed. She LOVES to nurse, and refers to it as "rocky" (because we sit in my rocker). I enjoy this time with her, it's the only 1 on 1 time we really get, but I realize that it's getting near time to call it quits. The thing is that she will randomly hold onto my bra strap or bury her face into my chest and cling on to me. It is starting to bother me, which is part of why I am getting ready to call it quits. I fear her feeling rejected and unloved by taking this away from her though. My other two children were much less attached to nursing and seperated much easier. Has anyone has an similar experience they can share or some advice on how to make her feel not rejected. Thanks!
I used the "Don't offer but don't refuse" technique as described by KellyMom (http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/index.html) -- and it worked quite well for my daughter and me. Read through her articles and see which method (or combination there of) will work for the two of you. Make it gentle, make it loving. It'll work.
Good luck!
When we were in a similar situation, I was able to wean while on vacation for 4-5 days. My daughter didn't need to nurse when my husband had morning or bedtime duty, so he did both while we were away. When we got back home and resumed sharing wake up and bedtimes, I just told my daughter I didn't have any more milk.
Obviously, you can still share that one-on-one rocking time once the habit is broken.
Good luck!
J.
I nursed my last, #3, until he was 3 years old. It was the HARDEST thing I ever gave up. I was pretty much ready around 2 years old, however, he loved it and it was convenient for me. It was also one-on-one time with him, he was my baby and I tied my tubes and knew I couldn't have anymore. My husband HATED it and would give me a very hard time saying something was wrong with me. It was a bonding time, he slept with me so he would nurse going to sleep every night for over 3 years. I finally told my husband I was ready to stop because and since my son really listens to his daddy, my husband told him he was a big boy and no more. The first two days were the hardest, I had to tell him NO, and he cried, but he understood. It's really been about a month since we stopped and he still tries to put his head under my shirt. I did what a lof of people would write about and distract him when he would start to throw his fit. We recently got a PS3 and I got him a video game to play on it. He loved it and told him that he couldn't play if he was still a baby. He understood he was a big boy now.
It's so hard, I know, the bonding is something I never knew. I have two other children I nurse for 3 months, which I was too young and didn't enjoy the nursing as I have with my last.
Good luck, you little girl will understand, maybe not like it at first but that's part of growing up...
I agree w/ the child-led weaning, 100%.
Hi, D.:
Contact your local breastfeeding consultant at La Leche League at
Good luck. D.
I nursed my daughter until 3 1/2 years old. She too loved to nurse and enjoyed it. If she enjoys it I would keep going if I were you. Once she's down to 1 feeding a day it will be even easier to end and given enough time she'll probably stop on her own, which is child led weaning and what I did with my own daughter.
The trick to ending it is really just replacing the nursing with something else. If you stop nursing but replace it with cleaning the house or watching tv, she will feel rejected. You need to maintain that time with her, but instead of nursing maybe you play a game or read a book or sit and cuddle. She just needs to see that ending nursing doesn't mean that mommy doesn't love her. It just means that she needs to spend time with mommy in a new way.
Just make sure you end one feeding at a time, don't go cold turkey. The reason I say that is because even though you're only nursing twice a day, you will become engorged and it will be painful for you.
Hope that helps.
It will probably be easier to wean her in stages. Start with stopping the morning feeding. Hand her a sippy cup with her breakfast. Then after about a week, move to the bedtime feeding. Again, put some milk in a cup. You can still have your routine and bonding time.
M.
If she is not ready then I would hold out. Both my kids were ready at 6 months (which to me was way too early but it was a battle if I tried to nurse them and put stress on them). I would say though if you are ready then still use that time as "quiet time" together. Still sit in the chair and let her have milk in a cup while you just talk softly to her or even sing to her. You don't want to change everything. It needs to be little steps at a time for the transition to go smoothly.
Hope it works out for you.
I've got to say that I totally feel your pain! My little guy is 2.5 years old, and we talk about the fact that we have to stop soon, that he's not a baby, and I'd like him to choose which feeding we stop, and he nods like he agrees with me. But! He is SO ATTACHED to the boob. I'm planning, after a little trip we're about to take, to do away with the morning feeding. I think I'll be able to work that with a little grief, not too much, but, I am not looking forward to the bed-time feeding. We're going to take it gradually, but, I feel that it's time we move on. I have absolutely loved bonding and cuddling with him for so long, but, he IS getting older. Anyway, I wanted to write simply so that you know you are not alone. I get so much grief from my family, but I followed my instincts. Besides, the Amer. Assoc. of Peds recommends breastfeeding until 2, as does the World Health Assoc. Good luck!
All babies (yes ALL) will wean themselves if given a chance to do so. My daughter nursed until 3.5 years of age. It was a gradual decrease on her own of nursing until it was just once at night. One night, she didn't nurse and that was it. My mother nursed my brother and I till we weaned at 4.5 YEARS!
Remember too that the natural weaning age of a human child is anywhere from 2 to 7 YEARS of age. To try and wean a child like your daughter before she is ready would be very traumatizing for her. Most countries follow the child-lead weaning method and to see a preschooler being nursed is common place. For some reason, Americans feel the need to rush their children through their babyhood (which on a mammalian level is all the way until they are 8 years old).
Don't rush her - she adores you and is very attached to you and nursing. She wouldn't understand why she was being denied something she finds so comforting from someone she trusts so dearly.
:)
