I have a 4 month old son and the last few nights when my husband holds him he cries. My husband works 9-6 and then works out and gets home at 7pm. After we eat dinner my husband tries to spend time with our son but he cries and when I take him back he's fine. He normally feeds him in the evening and the last few nights he wont drink his bottle unless I feed him. I wasn't sure if maybe it's just a stage that he's in. I feel my husband spends enough time with him. He has the weekends off and my son goes to bed around 10. It's really starting to hurt my husband's feelings and I feel bad that he wants only me. Please share any ideas or if you have had this problem too.
Thanks
C.
My daughter went through stages like this. I think it's probably just a stage. I wouldn't worry about it too much. My daughter is now 4 years old and sometimes she still does things like this. I'm a stay home mom and have been since she was born, so it's just me and her all the time. That's what she's used to. Hope this helps some.
Hi C. when your hubby comes in and is ready to hold your son
take the shirt off your wearing and tell him to hold it between zack and himself and maybe the smell of you will calm him. I was a nanny for many years and i used this method when i first started with my families if the baby were to attached to the mom i would use a old shirt of the moms to ease the transition and eventually they would adjust. Good luck and im sure it will pass.
C.,
It is a stage. My daughter was the same way at that age. I have twins, and my son would let ANYONE feed him through all his infant stages. My daughter would not let anyone feed her but me for much of her young infant stage. She would go in and out of letting her daddy feed her. I would tell him not to take it personally and just be patient - soon, your son will only want to play with him. :) However, little boys seem to always want to snuggle with their mom. Hope this helps!
S.
Hi C.,
I really think that it is just a stage that they all go through. My daughter (when she was born) would only go to sleep with her dad and then as she got older she would not go to him and yes it hurt his feelings, but they do grow out of it. Because you are at home with your son all day he knows your smell and voice. When daddy comes home it is a different smell and sound and he might be just wanting what he knows so well. Tell him to not take it personally. What I did was just leave my daughter with him and sit very close to him so that she would not cry. Eventually she would go to him and would be very comfortable. Dont worry it will not always be like this.
hope this helps!!!
J.
I have a four month old son as well and he used to do the same thing. He would cry sometimes if my husband just talked to him. I dont work though so I am home with him all day. Then last Tuesday I went on post to a kickboxing class and my husband watched him (for the first time) for three hours and he said he cried the whole time. Since then he has held him more and started playing with him alot more, he even watched him yesterday while i went to the kickboxing class and he was fine the whole night. Maybe you could do something one night and just leave him at home with the 4 month old even if just for like 30 minutes. He may cry the first time but he will get used to it. Hope that helps!
Don't worry, it is only a stage. When my son was 4 months old, my husband couldn't even look at him and he would cry.There would be times when my husband would say "just let me try, he needs to get use to me." It didn't work. Our son would just scream when his daddy did anything with him. He would be fine until he saw that it was daddy and not mommy.By about 6 months, daddy was KING. He still wanted mommy to hold him and comfort him, but loved to play with daddy. My little boy can't wait for his daddy to get home, but still likes mommy to rock him to sleep.
I think this very well may be a stage. My older of the two boys (almost 3) has always been a mama's boy but if you knew a bit of history it's understandable. Me and my ex split up when he was about 2 months old and Burt (my fiancee) is really the only Daddy he knows even though Julian is a mama's boy. I try to give him time with just Daddy even if I have to make up some excuse to go to a friend's house or even just a short trip to the store. :D However, the 14 month old boy is a Daddy's boy. I was pretty much out when he was born, I slept from the time he was born and didn't wake up until he was about 3 hours old. Daddy stayed with him the whole time though so I think there may be a factor there. There was a time right after he was born that Daddy had to work out of town (no longer with that job) for the first few months and would come home every weekend or every other weekend and of course during that time he wanted mama but when Daddy was home for the weekends he wanted nothing to do with me. I knew that it was hard and because I had been on the other end of this (the one always being wanted by a child and being expressed by the other parent how much it hurt) it didn't really hurt me as bad as if it had been the first child. It is a phase that children go through but please be sure that you are there to support your husband no matter what he may be feeling to get him through this as well. Let him communicate his feelings to you and make sure that he has time to spend with the child as well. It's going to be a hard road no matter how long or short, but things will get better. :D I promise.
My 15 month old daughter does this sometimes. Last night she was upset that we weren't playing with her (working on our computers). She would come to me and cry. Dad finally picked her up to hold her and play with her, but she screamed worse!! So, I had to hold her. As soon as she was in my arms, she laid her head on my shoulder and was quiet. A few mins later if I tried to give her back to Dad, she would start screaming again. It hurts his feelings too. So I played with her alone for a few minutes, then Dad came in and joined us. The 3 of us sat in the floor and played with her blocks together. She had fun then! After a bit, Dad had to take the dog outside, and our daughter cried when he got up and left! haha
Maybe you could try doing things together. Try holding your son while Dad holds the bottle or vice versa. Find some things the 3 of you could play together, on the floor, with his toys, etc.
You said your husband works and then goes and works out. Does your husband shower after his work out? It could be that the baby just doesn't like the smell of sweat on his daddy. Of course, if your husband showers after his workout and before holding your son, then I don't know what the problem is.
My husband works a hard physical job, but doesn't normally shower until just after the kids go to bed. Trust me, it can be offensive to smell!
Could be your baby just has an overly-sensitive sense of smell.
don't worry it is a stage and he will grow out of it. the baby is just so use to you all day that when his dad is around it is something strange to him. i am a stay at home mom of a 2 year old and normally after all day with me when his dad gets home he is relieved. lol cause daddy doesn't get on to him. but really and truely tell your husband he is not doing anyhing wrong it is just boys are mammas babies especially when you are home with him. good luck
C....is the baby teething? I am most certain that there is something going on with growing and developing at 4 months that the baby is having issues with that and you are his comfort and Daddy is play...give it some time and I bet it will pass. Tell your honey not to give up.
jen
Hi C.! Everyone's right: it's a phase, but that doesn't make it hurt your poor husband's feelings any less!!! The shirt idea works wonders. Also, if you breastfeed, try pumping some & letting your husband give the baby the evening feeding. This helped w/all three of our children (I nursed each for 13 months, but always pumped so my husband didn't feel left out).
Also, have you tried leaving the room?
Or, holding your child in your arms & leaning against Daddy on the sofa, w/your child facing your husband? A bit of "family time" before you hand the baby off?
Eventually, he'll prefer Daddy, then back to you. It's a crazy cycle, but normal. As they say, "This, too, shall pass."
Best wishes to you ....
Some kids are just like that, but he'll grow out of it. Imagine it being the OTHER way around. My 1st son only wanted DADDY. It killed me. From the first few mins he was born, he would stop crying the second Daddy would hold him. He always was happier with Daddy but did fine with me for the most part until about 4mths, he finally got to where he refused for me to feed/nurse him because he wanted Daddy to feed him. He'd cry the second Daddy would leave the house EVERY morning for several months and off and on for the first 15mths, and he'd get SUPER excited when his Daddy would come home. He also got (at a few months old) to where he would never ever want me and he only wanted his daddy. It hurt my feelings so badly that with #2, I didn't let anyone (including daddy)but me hold him for the 1st hour after he was born (Daddy had #1 pretty much the 1st 3hrs after birth and I only got about 5mins) and I did the same thing with #3, and they were both mommy's boys for the most part but never as bad as #1 was with wanting/needing Daddy. So, don't worry. He's still a Daddy's boy at 5yrs old, but he definitely loves his mommy and my hugs and kisses. He'll grow out of it for the most part and will be back to going to and playing with Daddy, it just might take time. Tell him not to take it too personally, and things will be great in no time.
