Not Sure If My Family Day Care Provider Is the Best Thing

Updated on September 21, 2008
J.S. asks from Cotati, CA
5 answers

I have some concerns about my Family Day Care provider. My husband and I recently moved to the Cotati/Rohnert Park area in were at a loss for child care. No one told us that in order for us to get into a good, structured daycare, we had to apply when we were pregnant! So we were left with my husband working Monday through Thursday, myself working Friday-Mon, and my father commuting over 1 hour each way to watch my son on Mondays. It was a nightmare!

About a month after we moved, a neighbor asked us if we had met the day care provider across the street. We went over and introduced ourselves and she had an opening! At the time, my son was about 5.5 months old. He has since seemed to bond, but I am uncomfortable with leaving him there. There are days when I drop him off before work and my care provider has a groups of females over and they cut and color each other's hair in the kitchen, while my child is eating lunch.

Things seemed to worsen for me, personally, when they asked my husband to do a tile job in their master bath - and in exchange, they'd provide free care until the job was done. We thought this was the solution to our own financial struggles. Well, as we are fast learning, we entered into a very sticky and uncomfortable situation. They are not happy with the reults of my husbands efforts and I am increasingly aware of the fact that my child has become very clingy to me in the time leading up to dropping him off. It may be a coincidence, but it seems like he is coming home with more bruises than he should (he has been walking for the last 3 weeks and I expect that some falls are going to happen while he masters this new skill).

I am not sure if my concerns are unfounded or if I should pull him out of this family day care situation for my own sanity. My first concern is if my child is safe and well cared for. I know that it must be hectic, having 4-5 children between 5 months and 3 years of age in one setting, but I am truly concerned that he may be suffering for our mistake to mix business with more of a personal relationship.

Could someone please offer me feedback? My husband doesn't feel the same way I do, but he is at a loss to explain away some of my concerns - such as the fact that my child suffers an average of 3 bruises/scrapes in the 17 hours of care each week.

Also, does anyone have any recommendations for Child Care near Rohnert Park? Or suggestions in how to address my concerns with my care provider? I have every intention of following through in researching referrals from the 4 C's of Conoma County and of checking in again with the Rohnert Park Community Care Licensing Division to see if anything has come up with my provider since last year.

Please help me figure out how to make heads or tails of my situation!

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answers from San Francisco on


Listen to your gut and GET HIM OUT OF THERE ASAP! If you have any reservations like you have discussed, you need to listen to them. First, its unprofessional to be coloring other people's hair while your child is present. Second, the main focus for all childcare should be the child's safety and well-being. It is not normal for your child to come home with so many scrapes and bruises-that is a telltale sign of negligence on her part. I would encourage you to contact 4cs and go through the list of providers, call their references past and present and go from there to find the right care for your child. You should feel 100% confident in your childcare provider and so I would take him out today so that you have peace of mind and you know your child will be safe.

Take care,


1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Call the 4 C's, get their list, and get your baby out of there.

You are the mom. You need to follow your intuition!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,
My name is T. and i work in a home daycare in the RP area. Catherine sent me your page about having problems with your day care provider. We do have openings and we would love to have you and your son come and visit to see if yyou would like to change day cares. i am sorry to hear this is happening to you and your family. it sounds like that daycare is not a safe enviroment for your son. There is three of us here on a daliy basis. We have a preschool program, i know your son is to young but we include all the children. We have a music lady that comes in one day a week. We are constantly interacting wuth the children. We work with your sons schedule. If you are interested, please give us a call Hannah Grace Day Care ###-###-####



answers from San Francisco on


It's not just about the bruises, even if they are only accidental your child is telling you something. If he is clingy and doesn't want to go there, listen to him. There are daycare providers he will be happy with.

When my oldest was 1, I put him in a daycare that was recommended by a friend but I later observed that the provider did not treat some of the babies as I thought she should. My son was happy there, however, he did not need her attention and he had a friend there (a friend at 1!). But if he had ever acted like he didn't want to go, I would have removed him in a heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!

Ignore your husband, GET YOUR BABY OUT OF THERE!!



answers from San Francisco on

Follow your instinct and take him out of that day care situation ASAP. More than likely you are right that it is not the best situation for him.

If hair is being cut in the kitchen while food is being prepared and he is coming home with bruises and scratches on a regular basis I would also have the agency who does the day care licensing check out the home for health and safety issues. As a parent we need to look out for other children's safety as well.

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