Not Ready to Wean but Ready for Next Baby

Updated on February 05, 2009
T.M. asks from Los Angeles, CA
15 answers

My daughter is 13.5 months old and we are interested in starting to try and have another baby. My daughter still breastfeeds in the morning and evening and throughout the night. I have not gotten my period. I have recently gone back to work and I don't want to take away the comfort and nutrients she still wants so much.

I have heard that it is really hard to conceive while breastfeeding. Any ideas or advice?

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answers from Los Angeles on

My advice is to wait until at least one of you is ready to wean, and then when she is weaned at that time try to get pregnant. Breastfeeding was such a special time with each of my children, and it all goes by so quickly. Both of my children self weaned between 2 and 2 1/2 years old. Best of luck to both of you. Linda

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answers from Los Angeles on

YOu can still get pregnant while nursing and not getting your period. I nursed my daughter who is now 3.5 years old, until she was 1 year and 5 months and found out I was pregnant with my son and weaned her. I only got my period twice and then was pregnant. I would keep nursing her until you get pregnant, it will happen :)
Best of luck!

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answers from Las Vegas on

Dear T.:

My child's pediatrician was very supportive of breastfeeding and when I became pregnant, he told me it would be safe to nurse my daughter until she self-weaned. I listened to him because his wife, a lactation consultant, successfully nursed straight through four pregnancies. I'm glad I listened to him. I nursed during my son's entire gestation and he was born full-term and healthy.

While that was considered unusual where I was living, now that I'm part of a more breastfeeding-friendly community, I've met dozens of moms who've done the same with no problems.

Oh, and my daughter was nursing exclusively (no supplements) and I became pregnant when she was 11 months old and I had not had a period yet. My daughter weaned at 3 years and my son at 2 1/2 years. I didn't have a period for almost 2 1/2 was great!

With the incredible relationship I have now with my children, I would encourage you to allow your daughter to self-wean and relish this time you have together. Of course, continue to nourish yourself well and increase your nutrients as much as you can. It'll be good for all three of you.

Blessings from


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answers from Santa Barbara on

I agree with Susan about not "forcing" yourself to wean now if you're not ready. I'm not sure how I feel about tandem nursing, but I've read that a lot of times kids will self-wean while you're pregnant because the taste of the milk changes. Of course, that's from the same book that said most kids self-wean by age 3, and my daughter didn't wean totally (and then only with prompting) til she was 4! I would recommend seeing a doctor about your periods though, just to rule out any problems. It hasn't been that long but since you're thinking of trying to get pregnant a checkup is good anyway.

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answers from Honolulu on

Speak to your OB about it.

I have heard of women getting pregnant even if not getting their period yet and breastfeeding. I got pregnant once, while breastfeeding...but I was having my periods. But I miscarried.

Try and research it online, do a Google search on the subject.

My OB/GYN recommends not breastfeeding while pregnant, because it can cause contractions. Although, I know women who still breastfeed while pregnant. I did that too... when I was pregnant that time... but by then my daughter was already in the process of self-weaning.

Your daughter is still actively breastfeeding and that's nice. It's great you are still doing this. With my daughter, I let her self-wean and she did, and she was about 2.5 years old then.

It's really up to you... but also you should get a professional advice about it, with your OB/GYN. That is the best and most conclusive advice you will get... and in light of your current health status, and about your periods.

each woman is different. If you are in no rush to conceive again... you can just let your daughter "self-wean" when she is ready. Extended breastfeeding still has many benefits for a child. And, then you can plan when to have your next child...but not rushing it, or having to do it "now."
I let both my kids self-wean. It was just the way I felt was best....and it was a natural process. My Hubby also was so proud of this.

If you are still wanting to breastfeed, and obviously your daughter is still nursing well... then just keep going. Follow your heart. A baby is only young once... and extended breastfeeding is fine. Lots of child experts support it, and do it for their own kids too.

You seem torn about weaning... I would not 'force' yourself or your daughter to do it, if you are not ready yet. Your girl does not seem ready yet. ?

But all the best in what you decide... I know it is not an easy decision. Follow your heart.

Take care,



answers from Los Angeles on

My son was still nursing in the morning and at night (not during the night, though) when we got pregnant with our third. You can get pregnant even without having a visible period. Have you tried charting your temp or getting one of those ovulation kits?



answers from Los Angeles on

I nursed throughout my pregnancy with my second daughter (my girls are two years apart) without any trouble. After going to a LaLeche meeting I discovered a lot of moms "tandem nurse" which means they nurse a toddler and a newborn.



answers from Los Angeles on

My son is 22m and I still don't have a period either. My doc and research through LLL says that you're w/in normal range till 6m after completely weaned.



answers from Los Angeles on

Feeding twice a day doesn't reduce your fertility like feeding a newborn does, according to my IVF clinic. :)

When my eldest (IVF-conceived) daughter was 14 months old, I was ready to start IVF again, feeling guilty that I hadn't weaned her yet since it lowers your chances a bit. Rather unexpectedly, I had to bail out of my IVF cycle because I got pregnant!

I'd suggest trying to get pregnant for a few months before you worry about whether to wean her.



answers from Los Angeles on has a lot of information & links regarding food allergies.



answers from San Diego on

I think that if you get your period, you can get pregnant even while breastfeeding. And, I'm pretty sure that even if you don't, you might get pregnant, because you could all of a sudden start ovulating again.

I am jealous that you have gone so long without a period. :-) I got mine eight weeks after having my baby, and I breastfed too.

:-) D.



answers from Las Vegas on

I was actually got pregnant while I was breastfeeding and was told by my OB/Gyn that I had to give it up because breastfeeding contracts the uterus and increases your risk of having a miscarriage. I understand how special having that time with your daughter is, especially if you have to work but I wonder if you can find another special night time ritual to do with her to take the place of breastfeeding if getting pregnant right now is especially important to you. Or maybe you will want to hold off on conceiving a baby for a little while longer. Sorry that I don't have any other choices for you . . .

Good luck with your plans, however they turn out.



answers from Los Angeles on

i was still breastfeeding my 17 month old daughter when i got pregnant and we werent trying! so its not all that hard :) good luck



answers from Los Angeles on

Hello T.,

I've heard of some women that got pregnant while they were breastfeeding; they were under the impression that that could not happen, so they were very surprised when they found out that they were expecting. The reason is because, the fact that you are not menstruating does not mean that you are not ovulating, and that's what you need in order to get pregnant. So, you could indeed get pregnant.

As far as continuing to nurse, I agree with many of the moms that say that you could still be nursing, especially if that's what you feel you should and want to do. If, for any reason, you decided to wean your baby, don't feel bad about it because your daughter could get the nutrients that she needs in whatever else she eats and drinks. After all, not all moms are able to breastfeed and their babies are fine, too. Just a thought.

Good luck to you.



answers from Reno on

I would at least cut out the nightime feed. At 13 months she should be sleeping through the night. This may bring on your period when the milk demand decreases. If you get pregnant now you are going to need a good nights sleep to prepare for your next baby.
Good luck
Austin's mom

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