Not Finding Out the Sex of the Baby

Updated on May 26, 2011
K.G. asks from Apple Valley, CA
52 answers

My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, so we have been having lots of baby talks. My husband brought to my attention that he does not want to find out the sex of the baby. I am an A type personality, which makes me a super planner! So my first thought was this would be so hard to plan if we don't find out the sex. And there is no way I would be able to find out and not tell him, so that is not even an option. Thoughts opinions? Anyone not find out?

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey there!
My husband and did not find out about the sex of the baby. We didn't care about the sex and didn't want to come up with all sorts of preconceived notions about that little human. If you like planning, you can plan anyway - there'll be a baby coming! I don't know if you want to color-code it? It seemed silly to us to already push such a tiny being into a role prescribed by society. Everyone just gave us things they liked, and the little guy now wears all the colors of the rainbow. Just arrange things i a way you find pretty and think about a little person coming to you!

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M.P.

answers from Provo on

I found out the gender for my son. . . I wish I would have waited. I would have loved to guess and speculate then find out "it's a boy!" I really want to hear the doctor say that.
You plan with neutrals. Neutral here, nuetral there. When it comes to clothes, my son was in pj's for the first 3 months pretty much 24/7 so that wasn't a huge deal. . . for me.
Next baby I will wait!!

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

what do you need to plan? a baby is coming, get a crib & diapers.

I have 3 kids-I never found out the sex. w/ #1 I painted the room green, #2 got the green room and w/ #3 i painted the room yellow. I hate pink, so that was never in the agenda.

The hard part is the name. For us, that was hard.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

We did not fine out with our first baby, although I had dream and "feelings" about what sex the baby might be. I say plan neutral colors and don't find out. It's such a sweet surprise. You have years and years of other things to plan.

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J.R.

answers from San Diego on

I am going to be honest. I HATE when people don't find out! If it's a surprise at nine months, it's a surprise at five months! But I hate surprises anyway. I am a planner for sure. :)

But, understanding that different strokes for different folks, this is what I tell people. If you have even the slightest bit of a preference, it's nice to find out so that you have time to get yourself excited if it's not the one you were hoping for. After nine months, it would suck to be disappointed for even a moment when you hear "It's a ___!" I've known people that have had that happen who have been depressed for months after the birth. It's just not fair to that little baby. I had a preference the first time and my son and husband had a preference the second time, so it was really good to find out.

My SIL wanted to find out with their second and her husband didn't, so they didn't. And she has always kind of regretted it. She says that she would have liked the extra months to feel like she was getting to know the baby and bonding with (what eventually ended up being a) her.

Honestly, if you really want to find out, I think you should. Maybe have the tech put it in an envelope so that you have some time to talk your husband into finding out later? Because obviously you can't "un-know" something once you learn it.

The one advantage I always saw to not finding out is that the last few weeks of a pregnancy are LONG. Being able to look forward to finding out the gender keeps it a little more fun. But then so does being able to look forward to seeing what s/he looks like, regardless of gender.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Never found out, never wanted to, and we had three, boy, then girl, then girl again.
It was like Christmas morning, unwrapping that gift....
And I loved, loved, loved, hearing "it's a......!"
My favorite color is blue, so the baby bedding was always pale blue and white.
No need to be gender specific in decor/clothing until they get a little older, hint: not all little girls love pink, nor do all little boys love trains ;)
If your hubby really doesn't want to know, please try to indulge him, you and the baby will be getting all the attention, let him have a little something :)

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P.K.

answers from New York on

The last biggest surprise left, is in the delivery room when the baby is born.
There is nothing that can surpass it! I never found out. Even though I
had a boy and a girl. Still for the 3rd and 4th I did not find out. Loved the
surprise. You have time to figure it out with your hubby.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

I have always found out, and I've always loved finding out. It's exciting no matter what. I have a friend who chose to not find out, and she loves doing it that way. I think it's a personal preference. I would personally have a very hard time not finding out, especially if it was a first baby. How do you know what clothes to get? Are you supposed to do all your preparing after the baby is born? I wouldn't want to wait:-) I totally support people who do want to, though. It seems fun. I'm just not one of those people who wants to do it myself.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i didn't want to know and made it through two pregnancies without finding out. my dh was with me on it, though.
if you must know you must, but honestly, you plan for a baby. babies really don't need a lot of gender-specific stuff when they're tiny, and baby boys look fine in pinks and purples, and baby girls are adorable in blue. if you get a few dresses and end up with a boy, oh well. you have some nice regiftables.
for me, the surprise was well worth it!
khairete
S.

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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

We chose to wait with all four. I love love love surprises. I never peeked at my Christmas gifts either, just how I am. But I do understand people wanting to plan. Keep in mind though that the only 100% way to know gender is with an amnio but there is always room for error with the ultrasound! Oh, and good luck with your future pregnancy!!!

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L.M.

answers from Dover on

With my first, we couldn't tell for sure and at first, we couldn't tell with the second either. With the first, there was a lot more options that were neutral. These days, it is harder to find clothes for either. I kind of liked not knowing because no one could go ALL pink or ALL blue on me. My boy wore lots of greens and teal/mint. He looked great in them. My daughter was the one we could tell on and people really tried to go all girlie and pink on me so my sisters told them all "L.'s favorite color is blue, even though she's having a girl the baby can/will wear blue too. Please don't go all pink on her". I ended up with some pink, red, purple, and many other colors. The outfit I brought her home in was white and blue (with flowers).

You can plan without knowing by not going too masculine or feminine with all the big stuff. Without knowing people will skip the clothing (except unisex stuff like onesies) and if they want to get you clothing can get a gift card. You can pick out a bring home outfit for each sex and enjoy the surprise.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

We chose not to find out (our son is now 4). Only 1 other couple in our childbirth class didn't know the sex either.

Honestly, there is nothing to "plan" re. the sex of the baby. There is enough green/yellow/orange/white, etc. clothing and supplies, so that the "unisex" colored onesies, (http://www.carters.com/carters/carters-baby-neutral-sleep...) etc. for the first couple weeks are no big deal. There are unisex color strollers, etc. And room decor wise - unless you're in LOVE with an obvious girl or boy theme, same thing. We did animals, so again - no sex-based planning.

Once the baby shows up, you and your family can go bonkers getting the stuff in blue or pink (LOL) but there's really nothing to "plan". PLUS - sometimes the little bugger doesn't cooperate so they can't SEE what it is. ;)

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V.N.

answers from Chicago on

I am due tomorrow with my second and we did not find with either one. I too am a type A personality but this was one thing I wanted to wait for. It was difficult with my first (a boy) because I wasn't too excited about things being neutral. This time I bought girl stuff just in case and will return it if it is a boy.

One reason I wanted to wait had to do with the ultrasound results. It would have killed me if I prepared for one sex and had another. So I figure when it comes out we will know for sure. I know ultrasound is pretty accurate but I don't like to leave room for error.

Good luck, either way it isn't too big of a deal. Like others said, it is still a surprise at 5 months or 9 months.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Okay, here's my take on it...especially if you're a type A, don't find out and here's why. Since this is your first baby you're going to need everything from furniture to bottles to clothes to whatever. If you don't find out, people don't want to buy you clothes, which is awesome b/c you'll get everything you need! If you do find out, honestly, all you're going to get at your shower is clothes, clothes and more clothes! People get sucked into it and it comes from a generous, well meaning place, but honestly, people see those adorable little boy/girl clothes and they lose their mind and forget what you 'need'. At my shower I got everything...and it rocked. Of course, this isn't all about getting gifts, but I'm just trying to point out the practicality of it.

I suppose it's still a surprise if you find out through the ultrasound but it was so special to us to wait until the operating room (had to have 2 c-sections) and it was just us. Our family was waiting anxiously to hear the news and it was just really fun and exciting. Of course everyone still would have been excited had they known the sex, but we prefered it this way. I'd say think on it for a while, b/c honestly if you plan on having more than one child, I think it's better to wait so you don't end up with a bunch of pink stuff from the first girl that you have to redo for the second or third who's a boy. Plus, if you get a gender netural crib set it's easy to reuse it for other children since you don't use it long anyway, I liked being able to find one I loved and see both kiddos use it!

Either way, you'll be happy and excited I'm sure, but I still vote for no finding out!! ;)

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L.P.

answers from Pittsfield on

My DH also wanted to be surprised, but I couldn't STAND THE SUSPENSE!! I was one of those kids who woke up at 3am Christmas morning and pulled off enough tape to find out what I was getting before going back to bed!!! I convinced him we would STILL be surprised- but our surprise would happen at the ultrasound- lol.

We found out we were having a boy, and went out and picked out a special stuffed animal for him. He knows that he got his little stuffed dog when we found out about him, and it's special to him. DH, btw, had no regrets, and had no desire to do things differently with our 2nd, 3rd, or 4th.

Also, I'm glad we had that little celebration together after the ultrasound because, as it turned out, I had a very long labor and a difficult delivery- Once I found out he was ok, I fell asleep immediately.... for 4 hours! I never would have had that "It's a boy!" moment that I would have been dreaming about because, after all I'd been through, I didn't really care so much. It was more of a "Is he ok?" "Zzzzzz"

Anyway, I think since you're the one who's pregnant, your vote counts twice-hee hee.
Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!! :)

M R- I think we might be twins separated @ birth!! :)

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've had three children and I did not find out their sex until they were born. I was afraid I was harbouring a hope for a girl, and if I found out before they were born that they weren't, then I would be disappointed. And I NEVER wanted to be disappointed with my babies. I waited because I knew that whichever sex my babies were, they would be absolutely perfect when I met them. And they were. And they were all boys. :)

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I am friends with a couple who have 4 children - they opted to not find out the gender of their babies each time. It was really rather fun - every delivery was a wonderful surprise and, we friends, had lots of fun buying things for the "mystery" babies.

They went to the hospital armed with both boy and girl names that they liked, but never made the final decision until they met their new baby - in the case of their 2nd child - they actually had the baby home for several days before deciding on the right name for him.

You can still be a super planner - my friends really are also - and not know the baby's gender. They decorated in beautiful "baby neutral" - natural, soft colors, greens and earth tones - warm, soothing colors that created a peaceful and loving environment.

Then after the babies were born - everyone got to run out and have an explosion of pink or blue. (they wound up having two of each)

No matter what you decide - enjoy the miracle.

God Bless

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

I completely disagree when people say that not finding out the gender of the baby until the moment it is born is the greatest surprise there is. Um...maybe for YOU it is, but not everyone sees it that way! Besides, birthing a child is pretty dramatic and life-changing anyway, whether or not you know the gender. The birth is still exciting!

I get what you're saying - I knew I had to find out with both of my children because, I too am a planner! I was pretty anxious about the whole pregnancy and delivery and I didn't need one more thing that was 'unknown'. I wanted the nursery set up, the clothes washed and put away in the drawer, the name picked out, the whole nine yards.

Call me materialistic but I did not want gender neutral rooms, clothes, etc. With the nursery, quite honestly it is all about what YOU want to do. When they're older and ready to change out of a 'baby room' then they can decide what they want but when they're young they really don't care (but you do :) ) And, I didn't want to have to do any decorating or clothes shopping/washing after the baby came. Trust me, that's the LAST thing you'd want to do - you have time to sleep, feed the baby, hold the baby, and maybe eat every once in a while for the first few weeks. Then, after that you're too darn sleep-deprived to have the motivation to paint a nursery or put together a room.

So we compromised. He knew how I felt about wanting to find out the gender so I gave him the 'naming rights' to our child, with some guidelines. With the first child (as for all first born males in his family) we already knew the initials. He had to give me a list of name choices to approve and I liked every single one of them on the list, so when the baby was born it was fun because I didn't know what name he was going to pick. With the second baby, we had planned on doing the same thing but surprisingly managed to come up with a really cool name based on his birth date and pop culture and we both loved it so much that we decided right then it would be his name.

Try to get him to compromise - I know how you are feeling!

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M.R.

answers from Kansas City on

We didn't find out with our first and chose not to with the one I am pregnant with now. I am a planner. I am a type A personality, but there are such few surprises in life anymore. We had a really hard time getting pregnant and we just wanted to have that moment of discovery be for the two of us at the birth. And it was an incredible moment that I got to share for a few precious moments with just my husband. A few pros for not finding out: You won't get two tons of cutesy newborn pink or blue stuff that you really don't want or need. People will be more prone to get you the things you really need off of your registry. It saves a lot of money b.c you won't be tempted to buy two tons of adorable boy or girl stuff and go overboard on a nursery buying a bunch of things you and the baby really don't need. Sleepers, onesies, some diapers, some receiving blankets. A new baby doesn't need a lot those first few weeks. We did a gender neutral nursery in both cases. For my daughter, we repainted her room when we switched her to her big girl bed. It is so tempting to find out ahead of time and have everything be all picture perfect, but for me, these two pregnancies have been lessons in patience and just letting go ever so slightly.

On the flip side, my two sisters have found out with the pregnancies they have had and announced the names ahead of time. They felt doing so allowed to to create an early bond with their babies. My girlfriend found out on her first, and not her second. She said if she ever has another, she wouldn't find out b.c the anticipation and excitement was so much fun. I think it really just depends on the person. There really isn't a right or wrong answer. I was fortunate that my husband and I were both in agreement that we wanted to wait. Good luck with your decision.

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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

There are so few true surprises in life anymore. Technology lets us answer so many questions - including this one! I didn't want to find our for our first baby, so we didn't, and it was great. My wife did want to find our for our second, so we did, and that was fine too.

But, of course I think I'm right - I'm a complete planner, but having a baby is all about having to throw plans out the window (because the baby is sleeping later, because the baby vomited, because the baby means you just want to stay home and play, etc). This is a great opportunity to start living a less-planned life, like the one you'll have after the baby arrives!

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

we are currently TTC for our 4th child...with our 3rd I considered not finding out the sex, we already had a boy & a girl so I thought it would be fun to have a surprise but in the ultrasound I just couldn't help it...again this time I would like to not find out but I dont know if I will be able to resist lol

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M.H.

answers from Raleigh on

My hubby didn't want to find out either, but I convinced him that it is always a surprise! It doesn't matter if you find out at the ultrasound or the day of delivery...it really doesn't make the surprise any "bigger"! Hope this would help convince yours too! :)

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L.M.

answers from New York on

I guess I'm just old fashioned. I did not want to know with either of my children, neither did my husband. Planning was very easy. I bought a lot of neutral colors, (white, yellow, red, green), and when the baby arrived, I received girly type gifts welcoming the baby.

R.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

I was always sure I would want to know, but when I actually got preganant I did not want to find out. It was so awesome when my husband told me, "It's a girl!" I can't explain what that felt like! Just be sure to buy lots of green and yellow clothes! They'll grow out of newborn stuff quick anyway, then you can get on to the pink or blue! Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I didn't find out. You can be a planner and not know. There are a lot of cute unisex things out there for newborns, including cute crib bedding and room decor. Plus, having unisex decor makes it nice for if you have a second baby of the opposite gender - you can reuse it and don't need to to buy new stuff. Pick a boy and a girl name.

Once the baby is born, you will get PLENTY of blue or pink clothes from people, so it will be a nice change of pace to have the green & yellow thrown in too if you don't find out.

We didn't find out the first time and it was a fun surprise.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

We didn't find out with either of our children. We went neutral with the baby's room there is enough time when they are older to spend money on the bedroom for their own unique personalities. There is so little left in life that are surprises. We have such a need to know now that sometimes it's fun to wait and see. I really liked not knowing what either of my children were. They were who they were, didn't make me love them less because I didn't know. There is always time for planning, but that can be done when they are here. If I were you I would wait and have a beautiful surprise. Coming up with both names are fun too.

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C.W.

answers from Shreveport on

We didn't find out with our first son. It was such a wonderful moment to hear It's A Boy! And the look on my husband's face was worth the wait.
With our second son we found out. It was such a huge let down to hear the dr say It's A Boy when he was born that I swore if we ever had another I wouldn't find out.

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D.

answers from Houston on

I didn't find out the sex for two of my three children (the girls). I found out on the third time. Knowing for that one was not as exciting as not knowing had been. I personally feel that there are so few really good surprises left in life. The anticipation was delicious.

My daughter did a fun thing. The ultrasound technician wrote the sex down on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope. They gave the envelope to the baby's grandfather who ordered a cake with a pink/blue layer inside. Then they held a gender reveal party where everyone made bets on what the baby was. When they cut the cake we all celebrated my granddaughter!

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

We did not find out our first two...we found out with our current pregnancy. Personally, I DO NOT like all of the pastel pink and pastel blue STUFF and not finding out ahead of time meant that I didn't have to be rude and tell people not to buy colors I didn't like :) or be stuck returning things :)

So I would say unless you just love the color pink or blue and would definately decorate/clothes shop for those colors then it is very easy to find lots of other color schemes that are wonderful no matter the baby's sex to plan a nursery/carseat/stroller/wardrobe with.

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A.K.

answers from Phoenix on

W/ our 1st , we did not find out. My husband was against this decision but he said it was the best experience ever, when the doc announced " it's a boy". He said the moment was more special b/c we waited. My husband just couldn't do it the next 2 times, he had 2 find out ,early. I liked not knowing.

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M.L.

answers from Tampa on

My husband told me the same thing when I was pregnant with my first. I honored him and did not find out. It was awesome! I found out with the next 2 because I could not stand it, but if I ever have another, I won't find out! It was so cool that moment of her coming out and hearing my husband cheering "it's a girl! It's a girl!". Really great. And you can buy a couple gender neutral outfits (or a couple boy, couple girl outfits) and things that you need and everything else can be bought later.

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S.S.

answers from Houston on

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer. I'm due with our first and I simply wanted to know. And the technology was there to provide me with that knowledge. I find it humorous that some of the "wait" camp folks cite the surprise factor. It's 50/50 whenever you find out, right? So I was surprised at 20 weeks instead of 40 weeks. :)

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i found out with both of my pregnancies, but i still bought things that both genders could use because i knew that i wanted more than one baby. i didn't want to have to buy 2 carseats, cribs, etc. waste of money. if i were to ever have another one, i don't know if i would want to know. i think that i would want a surprise. i'm a major planner, too. but you don't need to know the sex of the baby to plan what you need.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

So you are eventually going to find out. Right? I guess I don't see why you would wait. Meaning - it will be a surprise now or a surprise later so I guess I just don't get it.

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R.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

We didn't find out with either...JUST had baby girl #2. It was so much fun to not know! I'm pretty type A myself, but what I learned with my first was that it didn't matter if I set up the nursery in advance - she slept in our room for the first 5 months anyway. We did a neutral nursery for #1 - for #2, i decided to wait until the baby was born to select a nursery theme. We got a lot of green and yellow newborn clothes with #1, and that's fine...if we ever have a boy, we'll be set for the first couple of months. As far as "big ticket items" - car seats, pack-n-play, stroller, bouncer...you want to go neutral on those anyway (altho the companies would MUCH rather sell you a blue one and then a pink one later on! ;)) for practical reasons.

I echo what one poster put here - for your first baby, you'll have showers, and when you don't know what you're having, you get the practical things you need. And for us, we still got TONS of pink clothes after our daughter was born!

It was so fun not to know - we were both sure we were having a boy - 95% of our friends tho't we were too because I carried differently. Nope - a girl! and I was so excited I could not stop the tears after they told me! We're over the moon...but would have been just as much so for a boy. And - my mom took all 4 of we kids (2 of each) home from the hospital in the same outfit. We're doing the same, so it wouldn't have mattered, boy or girl. :)

People have planned for babies for centuries without knowing the sex. The important things to plan for aren't "things"...it's preparation of your heart and body and mind for you to become a mother. And you can do that color free. ;)

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did not find out the sex of my girls when I was pregnant. It was way easier the first pregnancy than the second. I am major type A as well. I actually bought a boy bedding set and and a girl bedding set (didn't register for it - just bought it) and had my mom return the boy one after my daughter was born. We painted the room a really nice mint green that matched both bedding sets. I went out and bought one receiving blanket in each color - and regifted the blue one. I bought about 10 outfits in each color and returned the blue ones. All the other basic stuff I got unisex: the stroller, the car seat, etc. That way you can re-use it with any subsequent baby. And I think you get more of the stuff you need off your registry when you don't know the sex. People end up buying you clothes instead of the car seat or bathtub when you know the sex because it is cuter! Also, people often buy you clothes and blankets after the baby is here anyway so you will have an abundance of that. Also - it is SO easy to order on-line from old navy, gap, children's place, etc. You could order from the hospital and have the clothes by the time you get home! Don't find out the sex. It is so fun finding out in the delivery room. Another thing to think about, I found out at week 26ish that I would have a c-section at week 37. I am SO glad I didn't know the sex. There would have literally been no surprise left. I knew the exact date and time I was going to deliver (I got to pick it). At least I didn't know what I was having!

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I have 3 kids--my oldest is a boy & my 2 youngest are girls. I found out with my son. Being my first & me and my husband were so young, I was kind of scared throughout my pregnancy. So, in that case I wanted to be prepared and plan everything. With my middle girl, now 4, we decided to be surprised. Let me tell you...There was nothing in life ever like this experience!! The surprise of your baby's sex at birth is truly indescribable. Since I wasn't able to really plan or prepare anything, this is what I did--I already had my boy things, so I bought a few girl essentials (onesies, sleepers, hats, etc.) We put some cash to the side each month. That way, when SHE was born, I gave my sister the money & she went and bought me all sorts of girl things!! It was one of the best moments in my life! Yes, a baby in itself if truly magical, but not know what he/she is until the moment she enters this world...Well, I just can't put that into words!!
It is really tough, but was totally worth it in the end!! One word of advice--if you decide you don't want to know, make sure you tell your doctor!! Otherwise your dr. may accidentally slip at your ultrasounds!!
Good luck!!

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I didn't find out.

My babies are grown ups. When they were born, ultra-sound had just been invented. If you went to an Ob-Gyn and had an issue they gave you a scan, it was pretty expensive and few people had health insurance. My sons were delivered by our family practice physician. He gave a guess by listening to the rate of their heartbeats, that's about it. So we didn't know....

I am divided on the issue. You really really want to know if it's a boy or a girl when you're pregnant...but! It takes a lot of the fun out of it when someone tells everyone the sex and even calls the baby by it's name. There's no surprise. On the other hand, I treasure the ultrasound pictures of my grandchildren. I looked at their little sillouettes over and over marveling.

Go with your heart...and hope your dreams of a little come true soon.
[hugs]

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

We have found out with all 3 and in some ways I wish I hadn't. It does make it easier to plan and to answer the constant question of what is it going to be. But if anyone of you wants one sex even slightly more than the other, there will be a let down that lasts 20 or so weeks that you probably wouldn't have had at the birth (I think when it is born you fall in love no matter what).

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K.M.

answers from Memphis on

I had always wanted to wait to find out the sex but my husband wanted to find out. So, we discussed it and then cut a deal. We would not find out with the first but would find out with the second. Part of my reasoning was that while I didn't have a preference and would be happy with either I would actually be a little disappointed that I didn't have the other sex. I felt that by finding out at birth any twinge of disappointment would be overshadowed by being excited about seeing and getting to hold the baby. And, that's the way it worked for me.

However, when I got pregnant with my second child, I was ready and wanted to find out (per our deal) but my husband now wanted to wait. We did decide to find out and I was happy about it - particularly because I kind of hoped it would be a girl since our first was a boy and I did really hope to have at least one of each sex. Now I am pregnant with out 3rd. I don't have a preference this time but I decided that I like knowing and I want to find out but my husband doesn't. We have to decide by my next ob appt. Honestly, it is a surprise either way. Waiting was fun but knowing was great too.

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D.B.

answers from Honolulu on

My boss, who is a super planner Type A told me she did not find out the sex of the baby because, "It is the biggest, best surprise you will ever have in your life. It is better than any anniversary or birthday surprise your husband or family could ever plan." I listened, and I was surprised and pleased when I had a beautiful girl.

That is the beauty of childbearing--its something you cannot plan your way out of, and it is a moment of simple truth. : )

Congratulations!

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K.K.

answers from Houston on

We were opposite with our fist. I really didn't want to know and my husband kind of did. I'm on the Type A side too and my husband is very laid back. I ultimately left the decision up to him as he'd had a really crappy year up to that point. He decided not to and it was just kind of fun wondering and choosing 2 sets of names.

We didn't get many clothes before our little boy was born, but afterwards almost everyone brought some cute little boy outfit. Besides, all you need at the beginning are onesies and blankets.
Either way, it's exciting (we found out w/our 2nd).

Good luck to you!

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T.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

We were pregnant with twins and did not find out. I agree, its one of the
last true surprises left. I just made sure that every time I has an ultrasound I let the tech know and no hints or comments. I thought we were having
2 boys and we have a beautiful daughter and a handsome son. Good luck,
its totally worth the wait to wait!
T.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

We didn't find out either. It's kinda fun. Like waiting to open a special present.
It's not that big of a deal. Just buy yellow, green and neutral items. We did a mint green teddy bear theme in the nursery - works either way. Save the gift certificates til after the baby is born and use them to buy "boy" or "girl" items.
And a lot of people will wait til the baby is born to buy a gift anyway.
Enjoy!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I didn't know what sex my daughter was until she was born. I don't like the whole pink/blue dichotomy anyway, so my crib was white, and onesies, sleepers, etc were in lots of colrs - white, green, pink, blue, yellow, red, purple - you name it. And yes I would put pink on a boy or blue on a girl.

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M.R.

answers from Miami on

I did not find out with either of my daughters. I loved not knowing and having that surprise to look forward to at the end of the labor and birth. With both I definitely went through times where I really wished I knew, but I also really enjoyed daydreaming about what the baby would be like and not knowing the sex meant my imagination could run wild!

With my first I bought everything neutral (white, yellow, green, orange, red, etc...) and so when it came time for baby 2, we didn't have to buy anything new other than things we didn't have.

We also picked 1 boy name and 1 girl name for each. I don't like sharing names before the baby is born (don't want anyone to make me doubt my choice ie: That was my childhood dog's name) so not knowing the sex made it easier.

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

we did not find out on both of our kids. My husband was at work one day, and a woman that worked with him said, "look what you get to look forward to, the biggest surprise of all" and other stuff like that, so he talked me into it. It was great, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I am very Type A but also have alwyas NOT wanted to know what the sex is of our babies. We didn't find out for either one and I loved it. Some people just prefer to find out. If my husband did not want to know and I did, I would find out and just keep it a secret.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

We did not find out an dit was so exciting. I had dreams and feelings, but we really wanted it to be a natural surprise.

I did the nursery in gender neutral colors using Sandra Bouyton designs..
To be honest, the baby slept in her cradle for about 2 months, so she was in our bedroom most of the time in the beginning. Her crib was set up and she only ended up sleeping in it for less than 10 months.. She climbed out at 12 months.. And hardly spent any time in the nursery when awake during the day unless she was asleep..

The clothing can all be exchanged and they grow so quickly, she hardly had a chance to wear anything except basics for any length of time.

I am also a type A person, I was a buyer for a Dept store and knew exactly how I wanted everything to look in the nursery.. But we laugh that it was one of the most expensive underused rooms we ever decorated,..

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S.B.

answers from San Diego on

We waited until birth with both of our kid's s and it was sooooo cool when I gave birth and found out then. I had it in my Birth Plan that I wanted my husband to tell me. The first one didn't go as plan because she was a emergency c-section but my husband told me with my son.

Good luck and Congratulations!!

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am 27 weeks pregnant and we are not finding out the sex. I can relate to being a Type A personality. We did fertility for a year and half and that was hard enough because I didn't get pregnant on my time line :) Needless to say, I've learned a lot about myself through that experience.

Not finding out the sex only changes the decorating and color of clothes. It absolutely has nothing to do with planning emotionally, mentally and physically to how life will change. I don't believe knowing the sex will help me bond with my baby anymore. I love this baby unconditionally and the idea of not knowing whether it's a girl or boy makes me smile. When the doctor lets us know, it won't make me love my baby more or have me running out to buy appropriate clothing. We've bought the furniture, ordered bedding and perfectly happy to put our baby in white onesies for the first few weeks.

I hope you and your husband can agree and, more importantly, I hope you get pregnant soon and enjoy the whole experience!!
Best of luck~
S.

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