No Time to Clean!

Updated on August 29, 2007
R.G. asks from Holden, MA
17 answers

As a full-time working, commuting mom of an active toddler, I find that the only time I have to clean is after my son has gone to bed at night (by which time I am EXHAUSTED). This often means that the BEST case scenario is that I barely do the bare minimum (which is hard for me to accept with my son getting into EVERYTHING). Even with my husband and I both pitching in to try to maintain a clean house, it seems to be a struggle. I have contemplated hiring a service to help, but my husband feels like it's an unnecessary added expense. Does anyone have any creative solutions? I would appreciate it!

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice! I got alot of great ideas...my son now LOVES to watch me vacuum, and mimic the noise, which is great. I also find there are things I can quickly and easily do while he's playing (wipe down the sink with Lysol wipes). Flylady.net is a great resource for ideas, but not something I could keep up with regurlary. I have been gradually improving things by spending 30 min each night (which I set the timer for, and when the timer goes off, it's time to REST). I'm also trying to get more organized, which seems to help KEEP things cleaner. My house is far from perfect, and I still daydream about having someone else do it (someday), but I don't feel quite as overwhelmed as I was feeling. THANKS!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

maybe you could make cleaning a fun game. Toddlers love feeling as though they are "helping". Maybe you could try it..?

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S.F.

answers from Boston on

I have found using a rotating schedule of cleaning works best for me. We live in an apt so I just list out everything I need to get done and do a few things each night after my son is in bed. In addition to the heavier cleaning I will tidy up each night so I don't have to deal with clutter in the mornings. Some people have great success using flylady.com too.
Good luck

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S.H.

answers from Providence on

I've utilized so many things that others have posted. I'm a single mom, so I've needed to collapse a lot so that we can have time together.

1) Lower your expectations. Try just putting things away (you know, also known as pre-baby decorations) because if you don't absolutely need them, you don't have to clean them!

2) Clean on a schedule. Bathrooms on certain days, vacuuming on others. Fold clothes while watching your children color or play.

3) Cook your meals once a week then scour your kitchen once a week. I spent too much time cooking - it's just me and my son. I cook all our meals on Sunday mornings which is the only day that I allow him to watch videos. I also clean the fridge out first and clean the kitchen later. In the summer it helps to only heat up the house once too! In 2 to 3 hours, I can have everything cooked & cleaned; except for steaming fresh veggies which is only 10 minutes! On top of that, things are ready when people are ready to eat!

In another year, he'll want to help you. Fine! Let him be the baker! My son can almost make a cake by himself at this point and only needs me to operate the oven & handle the hot stuff (he just turned 3). This will let him do something and then he'll let you do what you need to do.

4) From the earliest possible moment, give your son responsibilities. Here are some things that worked for me. Teach your son to pick up his toys now. Soon he'll be able to dust objects you give him. At 18 months or earlier, he should be able to help you pick up sticks outside after a wind storm. Also at 18 months he'll be able to vacuum some if you have a canister vac; he'll definately be able to wipe up his own spills and use a dust pan/brush. By the time that he's 2 he'll be able to sort the laundry (buy one of those divided things). At 2.5 he can put the silverware away as well as taking the couch cushions off, make his own bead & vacumming the cheerios out.

I've found that the lesson learned is that stuff must get done & the more he helps, the more mommy time he has!

5) Get creative for things he can "help" with when he gets a bit older & is underfoot. For instance, my son wanted to help last year with the string trimmer (obviously not!). So, he had the job of making sure the electrical cord stayed untwisted - and when that was done, he had the official job of "watcher". Hey - sometimes you pull out all the stops to keep them from underfoot! He also has his own rake & shovel so that I can go about my business unbothered.

6) Above all, make sure you have at least 1 fun thing for every 2 chores that are on your "To Do" List. It gives you a break, fun times, a reward, and another thing to cross off to boot!

Good luck - it will get better!

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M.L.

answers from Providence on

You need to hire someone to help you out. Explain to your husband that you need down time as well in the evening and that cleaning is NOT downtime. Also, with a 13 month old you need to make sure the floors (where I am sure your child plays) are clean!! I would look into hiring someone who works for themselves instead of a cleaning service. A lot of times the cleaning services do well the first time and then are horrible sfter that. Try word of mouth recomendations or an internet website like craig's list. Good Luck!!

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A.F.

answers from Providence on

there are many good suggestions here, so i'm only going to add this small bit of wisdom: let some things go. we moms are only human. i agree with doing a little bit each day, but don't try to overdo it. if it's something that can wait, let it wait. as long as your child can play safely, then you're doing a great job and shouldn't stress about getting the ENTIRE house clean. good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Providence on

Hi R.,
Try FlyLady.net. It will help you establish routines and gives great tips on how to involve the kids in everything you do. It's a little over-whelming at first, but she has over 300,000 baby-stepping their way to peace with her. This has made a huge difference in our house.

K.

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

I am a 37 SAHM with 4 kids....here is my advice....(mind you my oldest is 15 now).....Do what you can and let the small stuff go....your kids don't care if the furniture is polished.....Saturday's are cleaning days here for us.....but what gets done....gets done....don't put so much on yourself ...... you don't have to have the cleanest house on the block....you just want happy kids.....HAVE FUN....when they get older you can have them help you do the mundane stuff!!!!! LOL....Good luck!!!!

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J.N.

answers from Boston on

Hi R.,

Do what you can during the week (for me this is usually dishes and I clean the bathroom while my 3 year old is in the tub). Then have your husband take your son out every Saturday or Sunday for daddy/son time for at least 2 hours. That 2 hours is your time to pick one task which has been bugging you and get it done. The rest can wait until you have time to do it.

J.

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C.C.

answers from Boston on

My daughter is 16 mths old and into everything too. When I clean, I give her one of those Swifter dusters that is unused and let her help me. I also got her a toy broom and dustpan, they sell toy vacuum cleaners and other stuff like that. It's pretty funny, because now she'll start cleaning before I do. Good lord am I raising a OCD child. Hope not, just a clean one. LOL. Good luck.

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H.M.

answers from Lewiston on

I am not sure where you live but I own a samll cleaning business. I started this business to help moms (and others) like yourself. Talk to your husband. Sometimes it's just nice to have someone come in once in a while to clean floors, bathrooms and the kitchen. I don't do a set clean. I taylor it to what my clients need and I'm willing to work with a budget. I fully understand (I have a 2.5 yr. old). Respond to my email and I would be happy to discuss thing further with you.

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J.H.

answers from Providence on

if you can afford it, i recommend hiring a cleaning lady. it'll save you so much time and energy. i know people who have them and they pay around $60-70 per week. you could also have it done bi-weekly.? good luck!

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C.L.

answers from Boston on

I don't have a ton of creative solutions but from one busy mom to another I feel your pain. I struggled for a while but I finally came to realize that as long as my house is clean(meaning sanitary) that I wouldn't worry about the rest. Your child is only young for so long and you can only enjoy those toddler years that go by so quickly for so long, I opted to spend the time playing rather than cleaning.
The only other thing I used to do is turn picking up into play time. I would get my children involved in helping me by making play out of it. I would give them "clothes to fold" while I did laundry, or would have a basket for them to throw their toys into while I tidied up really quickly. They like to help and be involved.
Don't try to be marth stewart just enjoy the wee years while you can :)

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B.W.

answers from Lewiston on

Hi R. -- Sounds like you are a very busy Mom! I am a stay-at-home Mom and still feel like I never get everything cleaned like I used to! But, I've found that doing little bits every day makes it easier to maintain. I used to do the WHOLE bathroom at once. Now I try to clean it in parts -- 1 day the sinks, 1 day the toilet and Swiffer the floor, another day do the tub & shower surround. Once my daughters got a little older, I'd clean the rest of the bathroom while they were in the tub. I find by doing small parts, I'm less stressed that I'm not doing EVERYTHING at once, and still have some time for the girls, my hubby and once in a while, me! Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Boston on

R.,
Hire a cleaning lady! I am your age (ish,)with a part time out of the house job and a 2.5 year old. Trust me when I say that your son is only going to get more active! It's cute for a while to have a 'helper' but when I was going that route, it became a struggle to clean the bathroom or mop the floors because Jr. wanted to be right there with me and help! Not so great when bleach product is involved!!

My husband thought it an unnecessary expense, but fortunately I do the budgeting so I just cut out a week of grocery shopping in order to afford $60/every 2 weeks! Not too big of a deal! That's in the my area but I'm sure that you could find a reasonable price as well.

Not that I'm suggesting that anyone else do this but, I actually hired the ladies without 'telling' my husband, after I decided that we could afford it. They came and did the cleaning, he complained about the expense (and them being in the house with no one home), I told them to not come for a while.... I didn't clean the house for two months... That's all that it took for Hubby asked if Maria would come again soon.

It's difficult enough to manage being a mom, a wife, an employee, et al. Give yourself a little break if you can find the $$ and do it.
:)

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K.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi, Try flylady.net, or inluding your child in cleaing activities! I love flylady, because the tasks take less than 15 minutes and always provide results you can see!

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B.J.

answers from Boston on

I know it's really hard to do but for now put away in storage large pieces of furniture such as coffee/end tables, and pieces that need dusting & polishing which your son is likely to get fingerprints & sticky fingers on. Trust me it's worth your home looking bare & not decorated, but this time will pass before you know it & pretty soon if you show him how, your son will start helping to pick-up after himself @ playtime and put away toys & do other simple chores. You have to give in to the fact that your life is not like it was before kids & will never be the same again. Moms have to negotiate what is really important & pick a couple of things on the "to do" list to do everyday & if you don't get to it, well that's okay too. Hope this helps. Bev.

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K.T.

answers from Boston on

Hi I am a mom of very active 18 month old twins they still nap witch helps to clean then but most of the time thats when i can have lunch pay bill ect.. but when they go to bed i am like u exhausted because as I assume u must be very active w/her like i am w/ my twins but i finally made a rule they only have toys in 2 rooms one upstairs and one downstairs so that its only one room they destroy at a time I get my upstair cleaning done when they play up stairs and same for when we are downstairs. I also have certain things I do on certain days like vacumm is not an everyday chore for me same goes w/ dusting but as far as cleaning bathroom, kitchen, laundry, livingroom they get tidy everyday but 1day a week they get very clean hope this helps!

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