No Santa

Updated on January 21, 2008
E.B. asks from Baton Rouge, LA
82 answers

I am torn on this issue. My husband and I don't want to have our 2 year old son do the whole Santa thing, mostly because we would rather him know that the presents he gets for Christmas are from us, but it seems everytime we bring it up with our family's they get defensive and tells us that it's wrong for us not to let him believe in Santa, because it's a part of childhood. So should we just give into the family and let him believe in Santa until he figures it out on his own or should we stand our ground and not do the Santa thing?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Well, when I asked this question, I had no idea it would strike a nerve with many of you. My husband and I have decided that Santa would be there, but just HIGHLY stressed that he is pretend, mostly because we realized that there is no way to get around him learning about Santa in our culture. I even took him to the mall and introduced him to the pretend Santa. Even had "Santa" tell him (away from others ears) that he was pretending and that it's okay to pretend, especially when it makes others happy. So now, my son has a "Santa" hat that he wears around our house, saying "I Santa, I Santa". That to me, is adorable, and I'm glad he is pretending. And for all you mom's that are afraid of my child ruining "Santa" for your children, we are also stressing that it is not nice to ruin other's beliefs. Thank-you all for the answers, and I did read every one.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Fayetteville on

I am a little bias on this issue, but I would have to say give into the family. Santa is a part of childhood, and believe me they grow up soon enough and realize Christmas was actually from you. So why not let there be a little magic for a few years. Also, you dont want him going around telling other kids his age there is no santa when they in fact believe there is, because then you'll have some angry parents.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.I.

answers from Detroit on

Just in my own opinion, I would say let kids believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy ect.. Simply because as children those are some of the funnest memories to have. I can't imagine not having those memories of putting out cookies and milk, and trying to stay awake in hopes of hearing Santa on the rooof. I remember being so excited to see what the Easter Bunny put in my basket, or how much money the Tooth Fairy would leave me. I mean eventually we all learn that none of these exisit, but the wonderful fun feelings we have while we do believe lasts a life time.

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

I told my son when he was little that he could pick 3 special things - 2 from Mommy and one from Santa. That way he knew that I gave him presents also. It also made the Santa present a little more special because Santa would sometimes bring him things that Mommy had refused to buy. This worked well for us as it kept to my budget each year but allowed him some suprises also.

He is now 11 and is keeping the Santa myth alive for me this year by picking silly things for Santa to bring him.

Merry Christmas !!!

Leyahn

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.D.

answers from Chattanooga on

E.,

I can certainly understand how you feel about the 'santa issue'. I'm a single mother of 4.. two of whom are grown and in their early 20's and 2 younger ones still at home with me. Let me share this little story with you which explains why my family does not do the 'santa thing'.

Years ago, when my older daughters were about 5 & 6, we had been doing the 'santa thing' as I call it ;-) . One year a very good friend of my oldest daughter had received nothing for Christmas. As you know, kids ALWAYS compare what everyone has received from Santa. My daughter, fully believing in Santa, told her friend that she must not have been very good at all to have received so very little. My daughter wasn't trying to be mean (was merely an innocent 6 year old matter of factly going on the belief that if you were good, then Santa would deliver) and didn't understand when her friend was deeply hurt. What my daughter didn't understand or realize, is that her friends father had lost his job several months earlier. They were a very proud family and had somehow been missed by social service agencies such as toy's for tots and area churches offering food baskets etc. during the holidays. I had no idea that their situation was so dire beforehand. We were quite poor too, as I was a full time college student at that time, but my family would step in and purchase most of my children's christmas presents. Anyway, this extremely sweet little girl was so distraught over my daughters unintentionally horrible comment. I immediately stepped in, explained the situation to my daughter and the fact that there was no Santa. She didn't believe me! We were very poor but SHE had presents and didn't understand. I actually had to show her the sales receipts where everything had been purchased by me (with money from family)and directly by my family. She felt so bad for her friend that she asked if we could re-wrap many of her own gifts (because they had been unwrapped but not yet opened) and take them to her friend. We drove out to her friends house (they had no phone) and delivered her gifts to her friend. She apologized to her friend and told her she never meant to hurt her feelings that way. Incidentally, that childs grandmother who lived about 6 hours north of them showed up later that evening with a few gifts for them so they did indeed have a little Christmas although it was a few days after. Why did she wait until after Christmas? She had been very sick and unable to make the trip.

Since that day in late December of 1993 we have never done the Santa thing. My next 2 children were born in 1997 and 2000, and when people would mention Santa, they just stood there clueless and dumbfounded. Of course family members thought I was being horrible etc. but I have my reasons, its my family, and after I relayed why we would never again do the Santa thing, they relented... eventually. Some people will never understand if you decide to refrain from the 'santa thing' and you just have to accept that. Just do whats right for you and your family and don't worry what others think.

The positive thing that has come out of our choice for our family is that my children know that some years are better than others and that although we celebrate Christmas, gift giving is always well within our financial means. That means, no going into debt with credit cards etc. trying to live up to everyone elses expectations. The freedom that this has brought to us has been tremendous. My kids understand and accept the fact that someone has to work hard to earn the money to pay for any gifts they receive and apprecieate them that much more. They understand that others believe in Santa and are sworn to secrecy. They also enjoy surprise gift giving and really enjoy buying anonymous gifts for those in need. Each year when my employer adopts a needy family, we buy presents for every member of the family and don't just chose 1 gift to buy. We also donate to toy's for tots campaign and help out anywhere we have the opportunity.

Good Luck to you and your family and have a very Merry Christmas.

S. D.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Jackson on

Sorry I know you have had 63 other responses but after reading a lot of them, I wanted to tell you what I decided. If we do a Santa it will definitely be a simplified version (maybe one present or a filled stocking), because I don't think it matters if your child believes in Santa or not as long as you create your own traditions that express the wonder and dare I say magic of Christmas. Just remember, Christmas is a time to celebrate and make it special for your family. If you decide no Santa, just make sure you explain to your child the stories and that some people like to pretend he's real. My niece and nephew don't beleive, but their mother told them when someone asks it's okay to pretend with them as to not hurt their feelings(very simplified explanation). It seems to have worked well for them.

Good Luck
S.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.J.

answers from Memphis on

When my daughter was 4, she is 20 now, I did not have much money so Christmas was almost non-existent. However, her best friend's parents spoiled him rotten. That Christmas, all I could buy her were ten (10) $1 presents while they spent over $2000 on his Christmas. He (the little boy) told her she didn't get much because Santa thought she was bad. Needless to say, she was devastated and cried for two days.
That solved the Santa dilemma for me.
I didn't want to ruin the childhood fantasy, so I explained that the "real" Kris Kringle a.k.a. Santa Claus had died long ago. But, because he was a magic Elf, his Spirit lived on and it flew all over the world inspiring people to help other people they normally wouldn't. I also stressed the TRUE meaning of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ and reminded her of how poor he was. She loved the idea and no longer felt bad about what she had gotten for Christmas.
We now have another child who just turned eight (8). Although money issues are much better, we still told him the "Spirit" story and keep our Christmas gift giving to a small amount. Instead, we buy gifts for needy families or donate to other Charities. Our whole Family feels better doing things this way.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.O.

answers from Nashville on

This is what I think. Child hood is so short lived. I think it is our responsibility to let our kids be kids for as long as possible. Let them use their imaginations. I will be blunt but I mean no offense. I think it is selfish to want your kids to know that the presents are from you. That is for you not for your children. Eventually, when your children are about 7 or 8 they will know that the presents came from you, because that is when they will stop believing. Let them have their fun and have something magical to look forward to. I was never allowed to believe in anything but santa growing up. I had no easter bunny or tooth fairy. I didn't find that fair, that the kids all believed and I had to keep the secret that there really was a man under the costume. No fun at all. So I say let your kids be kids. IMHO. No offense.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

Hi E.!

My husband and I felt the same way when our daughter was born. We both had terrible experiences as children when we discovered there was no Santa, and both of us questioned our parents and others about the existence of God. So, when we had our daughter, we said, "No Santa". Our extended families went totally berserk. In fact, my sister-in-law 'disowned' us...so stupid. We lasted 3 years without Santa, and then my daughter wanted to attend preschool (she's an only child, and she would see other children playing together at preschools and asked why she had a Nanny instead of going to places where she could play with other children all day). Well, guilt won and we placed her into a very good preschool. HOWEVER, when Christmas came around our tiny tot approached us and said, "Why does Santa visit the other children and not me? Is it because I am bad?"

Ouch.

So Santa came to life in our lives. We actually had a blasty-blast "playing" Santa, and the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny. When my daughter was 9, she walked in on me and my husband on Christmas Eve night wrapping gifts from "Santa". The looks on our faces must have been priceless! The look on her face definitely was. She gasped, covered her eyes, and exclaimed, "I'm not supposed to see this!" My husband and I felt like she had walked in on us "being intimate". We all had such a laugh over it, and still do to this day. My daughter never questioned the existence of God, and she certainly wasn't traumatized by the fact that Santa wasn't "real".

It was unpleasant for us in one aspect, however: we had told our little one that Santa was funded by the government, and only had an allotment of $200.00 to spend on each child. Once Santa was out of our lives, our pocketbooks were no longer safe. :)

I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do. How you raise your children is nobody else's business, as long as you are nurturing and loving--and I am absolutely certain that this is true of you.

Best Wishes,

A.

1 mom found this helpful

K.C.

answers from Nashville on

I think it is perfectly fine to tell your son the truth about Santa. I grew up knowing he wasn't real, and I think it helped me, honestly, because I didn't have to question whether or not my parents were telling me the truth about other things as well. I would say it's ok to still have fun with it, let him see Santa in the mall etc, but tell him it is a fun make believe story for Christmastime. My parents also stressed to me not to ruin anyone else's fun by telling them Santa wasn't real. I think this is important, because it kept me from alienating myself from kids who did believe in Santa, and let me join in the fun. The difference was, I knew it was a game. I think I will take the same approach with my daughter when she is old enough to understand. There is nothing wrong with honesty with your kids. As far as your family goes, stand your ground, but let them have the fun of the stories and games, there is no harm in imagination, and Santa certainly is a good story for kids. The only difference is letting your kid know it's just that. Hope this helps.
-K.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from Chattanooga on

My sisters and I never believed in Santa, and it never hurt us! My parents never told us Santa was real...it was just a fun pretend thing at Christmas time. We knew about the historical St. Nick, and we celebrated the Christian aspects of Christmas. We still had lots of Santas around...but we knew that it was just something fun at Christmas, not something real. In fact, I remember being a little kid and it wasn't that they told us it was not true...they just never said it was, and made it clear that Santa was something we pretended that was a fun part of the celebration. We even got presents from "Santa." (As well as our pets!) I appreciate that my parents never insisted we believe in something they knew wasn't true. I'm also glad it was a fun part of the decorations of Christmas...my mom has quite an amazing Santa collection of Santas we've brought her from all over! :) I would just not make a big deal of it around the rest of the family...you can tell your child that people like to pretend Santa's real, and he can play along with it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Augusta on

I do not plan on telling my kids to believe in Santa also. We celebrate Christmas because of the birth of Jesus. We exchange gifts with each other and I want to teach my kids to give and share. I would rather my kids believe in something real as suppose to telling them about Santa and then later having to tell them the truth or having them find out by someone else. Then as they get older will they believe what I tell them or will they be second guessing what I tell them. It just might be me but I want my kids to understand the truth from the begining.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.G.

answers from Fayetteville on

I didn't want my kids to believe in Santa b/c I wanted them to know that I would NEVER tell them a lie intentionally. Santa is an intentional lie. Instead, I explained Santa to them. Santa is the spirit of Christmas, the spirit of giving. When we love someone, we enjoy seeing them smile and so we give them gifts. It's even more fun to give them a gift and not let them know who it's from. When we play Santa, we allow the spirit of Christmas to take over, and we give gifts out of love and not out of pride (or the desire to be recognized). I allow my kids to be Santa every year as well. I have them put their pajamas on first. We then drive out to Grandma's house (she's local) or a close friend's after bedtime on Christmas Eve and we have to be quiet as we leave our presents for them under the tree and we eat the cookies and milk. Of course, I've contacted the recipients of these Santa gifts so that they aren't startled by us, and they'll usually call in the morning to let my kids know that Santa has visited them. But the kids understand that sometimes Grandma is Santa for them, sometimes it's Mommy and Daddy, and sometimes it's their brother or sister. This explanation maintains that "Santa's spirit" is alive, keeps Santa as a part of childhood (even into adulthood), and it allows my kids to learn about giving and not getting anything back for it. They love it!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Birmingham on

It's your child and you can raise him however you'd like; but, I think it is VERY SAD to take the fun of Santa away from your child. The reasoning of having the gifts only be from you seems very selfish. You can have gifts for your child from both you and "Santa." Being a former teacher, you need to remember that most kids believe and it would be a shame for your child to be one of the few, if not the only, child to not enjoy the excitement of Santa.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Memphis on

You don't want to do it, so don't do it! It's not your family's call--it's YOURS!

Long answer--you're not taking anything away from your kids. We didn't believe in Santa, and are just fine. My mom said she remembers finding out Santa was a lie, and was absolutely distraught. She also tells the story of a time when a small child came up to his mom in tears because another child told him there was no Santa, and he cried, "....but I know there is, because you said there is, and you wouldn't lie to me, would you, mama?" If this happened to you, how would you answer?

We kinda have it easy, though, because out of the 6 brothers & sisters my husband and I have, only my oldest sister's kids believe in Santa. Those who have kids old enough to "spill the beans" are all taught not to tell other kids that there is no Santa, so as not to ruin their Christmas.

In addition to the fact that it's lying to your kids, there's the fact that rich kids get more for Christmas than poor kids; and also the inevitable question, "why didn't Santa get X for me, when I asked him for it?" or "....when Johnny down the street got it?" All the downsides are just not worth it to me; but that's me, and you have to make your own choice. Children love presents, and we always had a great deal of excitement when we knew that our mom had bought our presents and spent the day or evening wrapping them. We didn't have the experience of Santa, but we didn't miss out on any excitement at all. In fact, I think we may have had more excitement, because we knew that the presents were actually *in the house* and of course, we had fun trying to figure out beforehand what was in all those boxes!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.B.

answers from Little Rock on

Stand your ground! That's what's wrong with Christianity today. We have allowed too much of the world's beliefs into our thinking and living. God blesses us with jobs so we will have money to buy the things we need and want. Do not allow your family to pressure you into denying God's presence, power, or blessings. I let both of my children know at a very young age that there is no Santa Claus; that my husband and I were are Santa Claus. We explained to them where the idea of Santa Claus comes from. One thing that helped them understand and accept the truth was that we explained that the custom of giving gifts represents how God gave us His best gift, Jesus Christ. They accepted it well. Truth and honesty are always the best way. If we are dishonest with our children about such things, especially spiritual matters, we are just setting them up for disappointment and/or resentment when they figure out or find out the truth for themselves. The world is full of enough lies. Let's pad our children's worlds with truth and love.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Jackson on

PLEASE READ!!!!Wow! I'll bet you didn't expect to get all these responses but let me tell you I didn't have christmas when I was a child. My parents belonged to a church that did not celebrate any holidays or birthdays. We had Thanksgiving but that was it. I have felt so left out all of my life. I think that it is horrible to been excluded from everything. I was not able to participate in the christmas plays, any party's at school and I never had a birthday party until I got married. My wonderful husband has tried to fill the holes I have in my heart. I really have been depressed most of my life and I do believe that it is partly because of this. You may think it sounds crazy but I was always the weird one at school. Now that I am grown my parents no longer go to that church and we do celebrate our birthdays and we tried to do christmas and my dad has try to make it up to me by buying me things but it just doesn't make up for it. I never got to go trick or treating. Santa never visited my house. My birthday was just another day. I never hunted eater eggs or had valentine's. So I probably over do it on my 2-year old daughter but I can't stand the thought that she would feel the way I did growing up.
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.P.

answers from Gadsden on

E.~

My husband & I (more me than him) have had issues with this very situation. We don't do the whole Santa scenario. (And that is not to say I lessen anyone else's beliefs in the least)
But she did manage to learn about Santa at Daycare (She learned about him last Christmas~she was about the same age as your little boy). We don't really make big of what she has learned. And we've never really "talked" about it at home. We just didn't want to make a big situation about why we aren't doing Santa~ to her I mean.
I've listened to the harsh things that other people say.....and usually I just state my position, stand my ground & change the subject. There is no need or reason to sit & debate it~ bottom line: they are your children, who live in your house, that will be raised by your moral, value & belief system.
I do this because I want my daughter presently~and soon my Twins~ to understand what Christmas is really being celebrated for~ The Birth of our Saviour. It is so very hard for small children to pick up that there can be two sides to something. So, I thought maybe one less side would help our situation.
And I do agree with a previous poster~ on stating the whole deal with Saint Nicklaus...because he really did exist. It really is a fantastic story. I think you can google it & find it if you would like to teach that version ~along with the Christmas story.
Best Wishes & Merry Christmas!
T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

You are probably tired of reading all the responses by now, but I thought I would weigh in my thoughts.

I think, as others do, you make the choice as a parent what you think is right. I do however, believe that you can have 'Santa' and still celebrate Christmas for what it really is.. Jesus' birthday and a day of sharing. I don't think you have to compromise one for the other..

But on the other end of the spectrum, things are very different in the world now, and if you choose not to have Santa in your traditions, your son will not be the outcast that kids were 15-20 years ago. Times have changed.

Make your decisions with your head and heart and have no regrets.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.J.

answers from Jonesboro on

I have an 8yr old and 20 mo old and I have never really pushed the issue of Santa one way or the other. My daughter talks about Santa but not so much as Santa this or that. She realizes Mom & Dad are the ones that finance it by now. It's ok to let them fantasize about it. But the main thing is make sure the realize the True meaning of Christmas and the reason for the season.
But in the end is it YOURs & your hubbys child. Your parents had their chance to raise you guys the way the saw fit. Now it's time for them to sit back and enjoy the grandchildren and let you raise your own.
Good luck and Merry Christmas.
God Bless
Jan

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from New Orleans on

It is up to you and your husband as to how you wish to do Christmas. It is not for your family to decide. My husband and I chose not to do Santa with our two children (which are now 10 and 8). We put out their Christmas surprises every Christmas eve, just like Santa would do; but our children know the surprises are from us. They still enjoy Christmas every year, because of the surprises. Sure, people are going to ask, "What did Santa bring you?" and that's OK. My kids always say what they got. As to when children are talking about Santa with them, they were told not to tell them there is no Santa, because every parent does things different.

More important, we have Christmas because of Jesus' birth, not because Santa brings gifts. We want our children to understand this over everything. Hope this helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.C.

answers from Birmingham on

What seems to be forgotten is that he is only a child. I dont see the point in robbing a child of his or her childhood. In what seems like no time at all he'll be grown and dealing with his own hardships and drama. So why not let him enjoy his childhood to the fullest extent. Having an imagination and lying are to different things.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.H.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Did both you and your husband have Santa when you were little? I just remember how exciting that was and how much fun it was.... one of the things we do is give our girls only one present from Santa and it isnt wrapped and has a huge card on it... all other presents are from mom and dad... so as they do get older and they begin to realize that there isnt a santa - they can still get excited about the mom and dad presents and just "play along" for the little ones. I think its a part of our culture and a major part of growing up- it excites the imagination and brings that "magic" of Christmas. We also really try to amp up that it is Jesus's birthday so we dont lose that too. Its hard in this commercial society! I can't answer your question- but these are some of the things that we do- hope it helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

Hi E.

I agree with Connie. That is how my parents did it. One present from Santa and the rest from mom and dad. I remember the magic of Christmas and look forward to doing it with my kids. However, if you and your husband are set on doing this then stand your ground. While I love Christmas and everything about it, I am a firm believer in not letting others tell me what to do with my family.
Pressures of family can be very tough...trust me...my husband and I moved 10 hours away so that we could raise our kids without our family interfering. They were driving us nuts! Anyway, I think your kids will love the magic of Santa, but if you should choose not to do it you are gonna have to be strong when your family pushes you!
Good Luck.
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.W.

answers from Montgomery on

I like the Santa ideal because it is part of the childhood fantasy. But regardless of what anybody says or thinks you and your husband have the make the final decision and you should do what you think is right not based on other people thoughts and beliefs.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Fayetteville on

Obviously, it's your home so you can do whatever, so this is just an opinion. Why do you want so badly for your children to know the gifts came from you? Isn't it ok for someone else to give them gifts? Santa is a fun exciting part of being a kid, or at least it was for me. My child believes in Santa and it is so fun to watch him go visit him at the mall and help me make cookies for him before bed. Those are memories and pictures we'll treasure for ever. My parents let me believe in Santa and I sure don't consider them lying terrible people. Please though, if you decide not to go with Santa please please let them know how important it is not to spoil it for other children.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.R.

answers from Baton Rouge on

E.,
It seems selfish to not want your child to believe in santa just so you can get credit for thr gifts he receives. Believing in Santa brings a certain magic to Christmas that children should be able to experience and enjoy. You don't want to deprive your child of that while all the other children are filled with wonder and surprise, it could give him a bad outlook on Christmas. I hope you and your husband decide to change your minds and give your child the gift of Santa this christmas.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

I actually was raised to not believe in Santa, the tooth fairy, easter bunny, or anything like that. My parents are very over-the-top in some convictions, and so as a result I wound up not being able to enjoy certain aspects that most children enjoy (I couldn't even watch the Smurfs or go trick or treating lol!). I'm not saying that I blame my parents for what they did, but I am saying that it took out a part of my childhood that I will never get back.
I decided when I was young that I would not take those experiences away from my kids. But I would not tell you that you shouldn't take away Santa. Each person has their own belief, and I say let them have it. But here's a suggestion... if you want your child to know that the present are from you, put your name on them. But hang a small stocking on a mantle or whatever (in my old house I had it hung in the passageway from the dining room to the living room), and leave it empty. Them fill it with little treats that are from Santa. It can be little $1 toys, or candies, or homemade cookies. But that way you can still let them have Santa, AND enjoy the presents that their WONDERFUL parents got. I hope this helps!

~Dawn~

P.S. Never let anyone say you can't do this or that, just go with your gut!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Fort Smith on

I think that it is tottally up to you to decide if it is wrong or not. My family has and do always instill the Santa Claus into our children. But we have long decided to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve we give our children the presents from each other. On Christmas they recieve a few (1-3) more presents from Santa Claus. This way on the children know that the presents they recieve on Christmas are from family members and the ones they recieve on Christmas are from Santa. Others have said about not having enough money to really spend alot on Christmas...which I have been there too, But What I did was give what I could except one gift and then give that one to the child on Christmas. Then if someone says anything about it just explain to the child that presents are not what Christmas is really about. And read the child a story about Christmas and baby Jesus. But in the long run it is tottally up to you and your other half to decide if you want your son believing in the Santa thing. In any decision when it comes to your children, stand your grown if you truly believe that it is the right decision. He is YOUR son not your family's. Good Luck on what ever you decide.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Personally I think that it is cruel to tell any little kid there is no santa. You are taking away all their fun and you will ruin Xmas for them. They will never look at xmas in the same way ever again. You don't have to lie, just don't tell. Why is it so important to make sure the kids know the gifts are from you. He will eventually figure it out at some age and then they will know that you got him all those things in his earlier years. I have a friend who did that when her kids were little and they are still mad about that. They said that she took away their fun and their fantasy. I agree.
It doesn't matter who gets them or buys them, as long as they have them. My X was like that and he ruined it for my kids and they regret that. But what I did get to promote Santa with, they still remember and tell me thank you for making it fun for them. They barely have anything to do with their dad to this day and that part of their xmas was ruined by their father and they still remember that and sware that their kids will not be told so they can have fun. My x wanted to make sure everyone knew he bought stuff. WHY? Why is that so important? I do alot of things to and for people and they don't know who did it or who bought it. I don't care that they know it was me. The point is, I helped someone and I feel good inside. My X on the other hand had to make sure everyone knew he bought stuff... he worships his money. He couldn't live if someone didn't oo and ah that he did something. That personality sucks! If you are so worried that they know YOU bought it, then you must not be doing it for the kids. It sounds more like for show. What difference does it make? They will figure it out eventually and know soon enough. Why ruin thier childhood? I agree with your parents.
I just don't understand people when they have to show off their money instead of doing a good deed.
Sorry... my vote is with your parents.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.W.

answers from Birmingham on

Hi E.,
I just read all the responses because I am currently having the same dilemma. My husband is strongly against playing up Santa with our kids because of the lying and because they might question whether God exists... If we lie to them about Santa, might we be lying about God also? I agree with him to some extent but don't want to take away the magic of Christmas either. Our family is also mad about this. I think they take it personally because they raised us to believe in Santa and they think that we think they were bad parents for doing that.
Here's what I think we will do: Tell our kids that some people believe in Santa and some don't. Tell them the real story of St. Nick and about how the wise men gave gifts at Jesus' birth. Christmas morning, say "Christmas came" not "Santa came". My oldest is only 3 1/2, so I'm sure we'll have to explain it in more detail at some point.
Just know you're not alone in dealing with this.
God bless you and may you truly discover a closer walk with Him this year and in the year to come,
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.T.

answers from Fayetteville on

I think by not telling them can be hurtful more than helpful. It hurts to find out that its not real but its fun to talk about and to make a part of your holiday. You have to think about the future. What about when your child goes to school and your childs friends talk about santa? Do you want your child to be responsible for telling the others that he doesnt exist? I know that if someone told my daughter that I would be furious. But its your decision and you are the one who decides what is best for your child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Jackson on

Do what you think is right, but it is amazing to see the magic in their eyes. The innocence does not get any sweeter! It is fun to get involved in all of the excitement; however, my children are also reminded about the real meaning behind Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.M.

answers from Texarkana on

Dear E.;
You should be ashame of yourself for not wanting your baby not to believe in Santa!!!!!! That is a childhood memory that every child should have the pleasure of having. You are laying the foundation for your children to be very caring and compassionate people in adult life. Because you teach them that Christmas is more of giving than recieving. This is what Jesus Christ is teaching us. They well learn about this ole world soon enough don't take away something that you may regret later. Let them babies be children as long as they can, because nowa days they grow up to fast as it is. Besides if you can't dream what is life? And Christmas is a dream for our children. I hope you reconsider. Please have a very Blessed and Merry Christmas.
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.G.

answers from Knoxville on

We do the Santa thing and have a lot of fun with it, but I understand your reasoning for not wanting to. Some of our friends are non-Santa people, but they have explained to their childrn that a lot of people are and their kids have always been very good about playing along with anyone who "believes." Then, when they go home, they know that Mom and Dad are really behind all those goodies under the tree. Apparently, you can have it both ways. I guess it all depends on how well you talk to your children and make sure your family knows that you're sticking to it - even if it means sitting down with them and your kids at the same time to discuss how it will be done. I'm well into my thirties and my mother still gets me a gift & stocking from Santa every year. I know she's not really Santa and I don't hate her or question God's existence because of it. Again, how well you talk to your kids now can help prepare them for the real world, be it Santa or drugs or sexuality.... As for Santa ruining the religious aspect of Christmas as some have suggested, no one knows what day Christ was born and Jesus should be the reason for our spirit in any season. If anyone is concerned about Santa competing with God, there's probably some Bible study that needs to be done anyway.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.O.

answers from Nashville on

We are going thru the same thing with our 11 months old I don't want to teach her about Santa my husband is on the fence about the situation people are telling us that it is the only good thing left in the world but I refuse to believe it. I think we are just going to let her grow up and decide to believe in what she wants. I don't want to disappoint her but we all have disappointments some time in life. Hope it helps

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Little Rock on

We had some of the same concerns when we had our first children. A lot of it stemmed from wanting to keep Christmas about Christ and not getting stuff from Santa. We eventually decided to keep him. We play down the role. Even adults have "secret Santa" at Christmas. There's just something magical about "surprise" gifts from mysterious givers.

We have actually found it has helped teach them about generosity as they get older. When we decide it's time to let them in on the secret about Santa, we tell them about where/who the legend came from. We talk about how the story took on new parts like the red suit, North Pole, and even the reindeer. Then we ask them if it's ever fun to do something nice for someone without them knowing about it. The have always agreed. We explain that parents began to pretend to be Santa so they could surprise their children, not only because it's fun to do, but in a way to honor the generosity of the original St. Nick, and more importantly, God when He gave His Son. Then we tell them that they get to help "play Santa" that year at Christmas to surprise another family member. So far, they've thought that it was pretty cool to get a chance to surprise someone.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Memphis on

I think you and your husband should do whatever you think is best. Just wondering? Did you get to enjoy the fun and excitement of Santa coming when you were a kid? Have you thought Maybe you child will be the one to spoil "santa" for all the other kids at daycare? church? I sure if ya'll don't want to do Santa then don't. Why does your kids have to know ya'll bought the gifts? I don't understand your way of doing Christmas but its your child not mine.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Let your son believe in Santa as long as possible. It is one of the greatest joys of childhood. He knows he gets gifts from you on his birthday and any other time, but part of the joy I get out of Christmas is seeing my children's face light up on Christmas morning. I know that I bought the stuff and one day, probably sooner than later these days, our kids will know that Mom and Dad were Santa, so we will get the credit we deserve later without stealing their childhood joy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.D.

answers from Biloxi on

i say let him believe in him don't burst his bubble!! i have a 10 yr old who still believes in santa and the tooth fairy. and at christmas all of the toys they get are from santa!! and the clothes and shoes are from us.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Nashville on

Hi E.,
I have two thoughts to share with you that don't exactly go together. First of all, it's great to get advice,etc from family but when it comes right down to it you have to do what you believe is best for your children and family, even if it conflicts with other views. You're the mother and it's ok to disagree with what your mother thinks. Just listen, consider the advice and hope your family respects you enough to respect your decisions.

Having said that... I'm a huge Santa fan. Children are only little once (they have the rest of their lives to know what you do for them...who cares if they don't know you bought those presents). It seems as thought the world already exposes children to things way before they're ready... let them have a little fantasy and fun while you can !

Merry Christmas and good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.O.

answers from Nashville on

Hello E., i would do what your husband and you feel is right for you. I did the santa thing and when my second child statrted school the children told her there was no santa. Well she came home and looked me right in the eyes and told me this and she said mommy i told them there was a santa cause you said so and you would never lie to me. It made me really think. I always tell her to tell the truth and here i am telling her a lie. I had to sit her down and explain myself. My oldest daughter which is 20 now never had a problem with it. I guess it just depends on the child. My middle girl turns 8 in dec and my youngest girl turns 2 in dec so i will tell my little one that santa is a made up story and she can still talk to him and see him but that mommy and daddy give her the gifts. Remember you know whats best for your child and you do whats in your heart. Good luck and have a merry christmas

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.K.

answers from Shreveport on

Wow this is a tough situation. I know a family who never let their children believe because the mother didn't want them being "lied" to. If that's the case then what about the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc....I know in the end it is your choice because you are the parent, but I think it is fun for the kids, even if they do find out it isn't true, they still like associtating xmas w/ santa. My husband and I still exchange gifts and put from santa. I just hope that if you decide to talk to your children please do not let them ruin it for those other children who still believe, that's the only thing I would ask of you. Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Knoxville on

Hi, I can understand your point. I, too, did not want to do the whole Santa thing and yes my family had a problem with it. My solution: why not do both and still stand your ground! I tell my son where his gifts come from and who Santa "really' is, St. Nick. The local library has books to explain the story of the man who gave to the less fortunate. Just be honest and you can't go wrong! Hope this helps. Happy Holidays!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Nashville on

Hi! Maybe you could have Santa around but in a different light. What I mean is maybe you could explain that Santa is the spirit of giving and he is in all of us. You can take that even further and help your son help pick an angel off the angel tree and go shopping together to get the gift. I realize he is still very young but this could become a great tradition and instill in your children the importance of giving to those who are currently having a rough time. I hope you figure out what is best for your family. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from Nashville on

I am going back and forth on this as well. I never thought it was good to lie and tell your child that "santa" came, when in fact, it was only you. Then again, many children read and believe in fairy tales, which I believe is an important part of childhood, imagination. I was not going to do the whole Christmas thing as I feel it is extremely commercialized, but this is one thing my husband will not give up. To him, this is a special time. I think you personally, don't have to buy into the whole santa thing in your own home. We have stockings, but we don't tell our son that santa filled it, we just let it be. We leave some gifts unwrapped and put them out after he goes to bed, but we never tell him directly that they are from santa. You can do many of the "traditional" santa things and not emphasize that this or that is from santa. If your child asks you if he's for real, and they are od enough to understand logic, tell them that some things in life you have to make your own decision about what to believe in. You could compare santa to peter pan or some other fairy tale, but leave it ambiguous. If they question why their grandparents say it's true, let them know that it's their decision to believe in santa.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.G.

answers from Little Rock on

I decided early that I wouldn't tell my children about Santa. I figured they would hear about him from other kids and TV. The reson I decided that is because when my children found out that there was no Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., I didn't want them doubting everything else we told them. If we could lie to them about something like that they might not trust us with other things. Well, when they were young every year I would tell them there wasn't a santa and they would say, "yes mom, but when is he coming?". So I don't really think it would have mattered either way. But I feel better about telling my children the truth then trying to have them believe a storytale is true.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Your holiday traditions are your business. That being said, let me add that it is sooo much fun playing Santa! To see your little one's face light up with that "how did he know?" expression is the best. So you don't get the credit, that's not really the point. You don't have to go overboard, that's not the point of Christmas anyway. But Santa does add some fun and magic to the season.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.M.

answers from Memphis on

Just to be the best parent I could be, I struggled with the idea of Sanata. What I found out is some basic child psycology. The belief in Santa is a childs first experience of believing in something they can not see, of being a part of something much older and bigger then they are. To help a child belive in the charater of Santa is actually helping them on the road to building solid religious beliefs. The time when a child out grows this belief and steps into the role of helping others believe is a very importmant mile stone in their maturity. The magic of the tradition is priceless but the reason it has lasted is because it is good for children. You are doing a great job.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Little Rock on

One idea you could do instead of deleting Santa all together would be to let Santa bring the stockings. Your son could still get all of his gifts from you. That way when he does get a little older you won't get all the questions of why Santa doesn't come to his house but goes to all of his friend's houses. And when he gets old enough to find out the truth about Santa, he won't be totally bummed. :)

D. :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

Hi E., I just joined and read your post. I wanted to share this with you. I married my husband 14 years ago and he had two small children. Their mother would not let them believe in Santa - they are now 20 and 24. Even though they did not get to believe, they have thanked me over and over again for giving them the joy at Christmas time to have Santa.
My daughter told me this year that I did not realize how much getting a stocking from Santa meant to her and she thanked me - I cried for a while realizing even though they knew he was not real, the love, joy and anticipation of Christmas morning was still something they looked forward to and always enjoyed (and still do)! When my son was born they were still young and begged us to let him believe, they felt they were cheated. I know it is a tough decision but in my experience my step children resented their mother not letting them enjoy childhoods mysteries (tooth fairy also). Just something to think about.
On a lighter note - one Christmas eve my son lost a tooth and was telling his Dad that he was putting it under his pillow. My husband sat him down and explained to him that Santa and the Tooth Fairy could not come on the same night - my son wanted to know why and my husband told him "it is a union thing"! We have laughed about that every Christmas Eve.

Enjoy your children, they grow up so fast - do what you think is in their best interest, but remember - they are only children once!
Best to you and your family in the New Year.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.F.

answers from Nashville on

I have read a lot of the responses before I myself respond. I like some of the ideas and some discount your desires entirely.

First rule of parenthood: Your opinion matters the most.
Second rule of parenthood: When given advice, take it with a smile, unless completely rude, and just nod and say thanks.

Your kids are your kids. You have 2 of precious gifts of life, no matter your belief structure, religious, Darwinesque, what-have-you... You need to love your kids and remember one thing. Whatever you teach them, they will spread to other kids.

This does not mean you have to purpetuate the mythos; the truth is there once was a very nice man named Nicklaus. He noticed an injustice and did his best to correct it himself.

It was an act of love for others. Teach your kids the part that is the truth, without adding the myth, and I think they will appreciate that you are just giving gifts because of what a nice man did long ago.

There are still nice people out there. Your kids will have their egos for a while, but come 8-9 you can start introducing the id. Then they can too become nice people.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.

answers from Chattanooga on

I think you should indulge and let him believe in Santa for now. We buy our kids 1 or 2 "big" gifts from Santa and the rest are from us. You could even let the grandparents buy the "Santa" gifts if you want. My sister did that. She just bought her kids a few things and my parents bought the major stuff. Personally, I tend to overdo Christmas a little bit but it is always fun.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Chicago on

Here are my feelings on the issue... Let your kids believe in Santa. The wonderful thing about children is that they have such great imaginations and haven't been "tainted" by world views. He has his whole life to learn to doubt, and to not believe in things, let him see the world through a child's eyes while he's a child.
And on a mommy note, consider all the other kids he'll come in contact with that do believe in Santa. Do you want your child to the the one who spoils the secret for all the other kids? Think how that will affect play dates and friendships he's already made at his young age.
And if you want to be a little devious...I've convinced my son that the security cameras in stores and other places are "Santa cams" and it dramatically improves his behavior all year long because he thinks Santa is watching!
Let him have his childlike faith while he can, sooner than later he'll be tricking his own kids into believing stuff like that! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Alexandria on

My Friend is the same way. As a child her parents did not do the whole Santa thing because they did not want to lie to their children. She said that she was greatful that her parents didn't lie to her about it because she never had that huge upset when she found out Santa does not exsist, but she also said she did not have the magicical feeling that other children her age had, and that it kinda set her apart from the other kids.

Now her husband wanted to have their kids believe in Santa, and she goes with her husband desires in this aspect but she wont lie to them, so it is all up to him to do the Santa. So it is your choice what you do. There is good things in both ways. We do the Santa thing in our house, but I would rather it be about God and the birth of Christ instead of a man in a red suite. So we are torn too in this descion. I will just waite until they are a little older and realize Santa is not real and help them make Christmas very specail to those that have no one on CHristmas or no money for Christmas.

When I wrote this I had no idea that you already came to your conclusion. I think what you have done is great. Way to go for doing what you thought was best for your family!!!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Nashville on

I understand how you feel about the presents coming from Santa and wanting you children to know that the gifts are hard-earned rather than just fall from the sky. My parents were the same way, so they only put candy and small stocking stuffers from Santa and all the good presents were labeled from them. Maybe you could do something similar so you don't have to take Santa away in order to teach your child the value of gifts.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Monroe on

Hi E.. Don't let you family change your minds. If you don't want your son believing in Santa then go for it. I would make sure he doesn't tell his friends there's no santa or you'll have some upset parents. :) He's your son, raise him let you want to. There plenty of other things that "are part of childhood" that not having Santa isn't going to hurt him. Good luck with you family.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.G.

answers from Pine Bluff on

I think it is your personal choice but here is my stand on it . I teach my daughters the true meaning of Christmas but we also had Santa. I will say that it is a staple of being a kid and using their imaginations . I have a 17 yr old and a 15 yr old as well as a 2 1/2 yr old . I never wanted to tell them that the gifts came from us because it is just too much fun seeing their eyes light
up knowing they got something from Santa .Once again I do think it is a personal issue and that noone can make up your mind for you . Do what you feel is right for your family .

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.E.

answers from Nashville on

I say stick with what you and your husband think. It's really up to you and your husband, not your family.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

Please don't deprive your children of their childhood fantasies. This is part of having a GOOD childhood. They will find out early enough. They will be hit in the face with plenty of reality as they age. Don't be selfish and just want your children to know the gifts are from you. This makes you happy, not them. It will make them feel left out, disconnected (I could go on and on) if they know the majority of other children believe in Santa and Santa comes to their home. You should not put them in this situation. We have two children (8 & 17). Even our 17 yr. old still enjoys playing along with us on Santa for our younger child. Let them be young and enjoy this wonderful fantasy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.D.

answers from New Orleans on

You did receive alot of responses. We have Santa at our house - imagination and creativity is a wonderful thing. I know that you are concerned about the "lying" thing - so when someone (or your child) upsets you and your child asks you about it, what is your response? Are you going to tell them that they upset you, are you going to hide it, ignore it? When someone asks "How are you today?" - do you answer "fine" regardless if you are fine or not. Of course, the choice is yours and you have lots of advice from many others - but I don't see answering "fine" when you are not much different than believing in Santa (that is, hope and good cheer.)

Best wishes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.P.

answers from Mobile on

You have gotten a lot of feedback and I am hesitant to give my 2-cents-worth but I have to tell you that my first inclination was, "How selfish it is to want your child to know that the presents come from you alone!" Then, I took a breath. Some people go crazy at Christmas and Santa brings tons of toys and Mom & Dad give nothing. We are not that type of family. Santa brings one large gift (priced around $30 to $50) and about 5 stocking stuffers (total value less than $50 for each child). Then, my husband and I give the children each a gift from us. In that respect, we share the gift-giving with Santa.

You have to make this decision for yourself but please think forward to school when children are believing and your child is not. There may be fights in the future for your child if you choose this path. I always resented the one child in school who tried to be the "know it all" and educate everyone about Santa because his parents told him the truth earlier than everyone else.

My mother always told me, "The spirit of Santa lives as long as you believe." She still believes. {Wink, wink!}

E.F.

answers from Chattanooga on

I couldn't imagine not letting my kids go with the legend of Santa. It seems so silly. What is the big deal? Why is it such a horrible thing to let our children believe in Santa until they figure it out. Our kids will grow up well adjusted and not angry at us because we have let them believe in Santa. BUT, the one thing I need to stress is that, even though I feel this way, you have a very different belief and if this is truly the way you feel, then your family needs to respect that and like it or not, support your feelings, it IS your son. I may disagree, but I do respect your feelings. I hope it all worked out! Ellen

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.A.

answers from Nashville on

I can give you both side here. I'm 50 and I let my kids believe in Santa. Johnny figured it out around 7 that it wasn't real, and he would help me put out his sister's presents. Later, Christie figured it out too and it was never a big deal. But they really loved Santa coming when they were small.

My brother and his wife never let their kids believe in Santa and they turned out fine too.

It's really up to you.

Now, from personal experience, when I was little I would get soooo excited thinking that Santa would be coming. I'd go to bed early and wake up and he would have been at our house and I couldn't believe it. What fun it was. Then when I found out there really wasn't a Santa, Christmas was never as much fun.

My brother's wife would bake a birthday cake, every year, for Jesus and have a little party with the kids. They seemed to love it and were happy too.

It's up to you. But they won't be scarred for life, either way.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Houston on

Hello E. B.,

In my opinion, I believe that nothing is wrong with your 2 yr. old believing in Santa Claus. For one, he's just 2 and he really doesn't understand whether Santa Claus is real or not. Secondly, children aren't concern with whether or not Santa got them gifts or if their parents purchased the gifts. I'm sure he'll be happy to have something to play with.

At the age of 2, most children like cartoons and like to play with stuffed animals.

As he gets older, maybe 6 or 7, I would then explain to him that Santa isn't real. By then, he'll have a better understanding.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

D. B.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.W.

answers from Nashville on

I believe you should stand your ground on that issue. If that is what you want stand up for it. If you give in now to family, it will happen over and over again, until they are running everything. I do have to admit, having your children believe in Santa is a lot of fun. We give our children clothes and stuff like that from us, but all the good stuff is from Santa. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.B.

answers from Knoxville on

E., I know Christmas is over but there will be next year! So I thought I would give you a little of my advice. I went through the same thing with my kids. I have been doing the Santa thing for almost 17 years with my kids. However, with my youngest I done something different. I told him that me and daddy worked for the money, and had to give it to Santa for his gifts. I know that sounds bad since Santa gets for the less fortunate, but, it worked! I told him Santa had to have help from the children's parents that weren't so unfortunate. He finally came around to asking me about the truth year before last. I tole him and he wasn't as disappointed as my two older children. I just think you should raise your children the way you feel they should be raised, after all, you and their father created them right? Hope all goes well for you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Nashville on

hi our daughter is only 14 months old and we are not going to let her believe in santa we want her to know the truth about christmas etc...same with easter bunny and tooth fairy we wont let hew believe in them either we dont want to teach her lying etc...i dont know how to explain it...but its your decision and they are your kids...hope this helps

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Huntsville on

I know you have many responses to go through already and have even read some of them to see if anyone posted my response. In a sense someone already has, the choice is ultimately up to you and your husband. Unless you hire someone to come in and teach you how to raise your kids THEIR way or something to that effect, no one has a right to tell you how you should or should not raise your kids. In your case it is Santa Claus that you are having to deal with on making this choice, you celebrate it however you wish. My husband and myself do have our children believing in Santa because that is something we can all do together because I do work alot and don't have a lot of time at home with them (I need to update my information a little bit). It's really not going to hurt or hinder the children I don't think. My husband and I aren't exactly Christians but my daughter does take a Sunday School bus every week to a Baptist Church (her choice) and she goes every Wednesday night to the youth group with the next door neighbor so we work in unison to be able to get her to understand what the reasoning behind each holiday is. Like Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ; Easter, the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus Christ; etc. My husband and I also celebrate Sam Hain (Halloween), Yule and other holidays such as those so we just kind of integrate those Holidays in with hers, explain what each one means to which people and it seems to work out great. If we don't celebrate for whatever reason or another, we explain to her why and if she chooses to do so anyway, we will participate because I love to see her little face light up whenever we don't shun something she chooses to believe in. If she decides at a younger age to ask questions on how something is done or celebrated, I'll explain it to her and I'll explain to her why it seemed that I was lying to her when I just wanted her to be a kid and now that she knows the truth, she can choose to continue it on as a tradition or not.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from Birmingham on

Please don't do that to your son. My son is in the 5th grade and there is another child in his class that follows his parents belief and doesn't believe in Santa, it is so sad to see him when all the boys are talking about what they want and the excitement of Christmas. The girl that does my nails (Vietnamese) doesn't celebrate Christmas at all...her kids are pitiful, I always send them a gift but I wrap it in plain paper...they know what I mean.
Let me tell you what me and my husband do, because I do understand you not wanting him to expect things or think they are free. We believe in Santa, my son still believes, he is 11 and my daughter is 15 months which makes this year that much more fun. We raised him to believe in Santa and all the magical things that go with it, but that Santa gets what he can with the money that we can send to the North Pole, it has to be mailed by Dec. 1. That is why some children get more than others. We tell him how much we can send to Santa and how much we can spend and he makes his list from that. It has worked out well. He knows that the money comes from us and that we work hard for that money. Also, every year, I take him to pick out an "Angel" from our local Angel Tree from the Salvation Army. He has always picked a boy close to his age and he has to work to earn the money to buy what is on that list. It is a great reality check because most of the items that those children ask for is warm socks, a coat, one year 1 asked for a thermos.....none of those video game systems or expensive toys. Hope this helps you....
If you don't believe, you don't receive....

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.T.

answers from Montgomery on

I would do the Santa thing, but instead of doing most of the gifts from Santa do most of the gifts from you. That way, they get the magic of something from Santa (say a stocking and a few small toys), but they know that most of what they get comes from mom and dad. Not doing Santa could make them feel left out and confused when their friends/cousins are getting from Santa. You wouldn't want them to tell their friends that there is no Santa (it's just your parents) and have to deal with the drama of parents calling you upset because your child told theirs that there wasn't a Santa. I hope this was helpful.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

I think you should let him experience Santa. They have so much fun believing and it also helps with discipline...(remember Santa doesn't like pouting) We've always given the kids a few things wrapped from us, and let Santa put toys under the tree already put together. It's such a fun family tradition (putting the stuff together the night before, getting them to sleep so Santa will come (we even ring jingle bells out their bedroom window), leaving out cookies and milk, etc. Just think, they are going to always hear about Santa from family, friends in school, etc., you should let them enjoy it...they're only children once. Hope this helps!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.N.

answers from Little Rock on

This comes up fairly frequently and you are going to get alot of responses, but I still hope this helps. My children get gifts from Santa and gifts from us. The gifts from Santa are the ones that take a long time to put together.
On a side note, we explain religiously why Christmas is important to us, and we make a big deal about buying toys for Toys for Tots, and have our children help pick out these toys.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.C.

answers from Biloxi on

I have a suggestion. Tell your son that Santa gives one big gift and that all the rest of the presents come from you and your family. This is what I have told my son. He is six and he still believes in Santa. So I guest it could be an option for you and your son.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Knoxville on

Do as you please... just try to make sure that your kids don't ruin it for the other ones that do believe in santa. I can tell you with a 4 year old, there's nothing more magically than seeing their eyes light up on Christmas morning when Santa comes.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.O.

answers from Fayetteville on

ok...IMO - let him believe. We all get older - don't we? Now that I am almost 30 (YIKES!) I remember back to when I was a kid...prob around 3rd or 4th grade I started to doubt the whole Santa thing...I am a pretty practical person, and well, it just didn't make much sense to me - one guy traveling around the whole world in one night?!?!? My point is, I now know that all those gReAt gifts I got as a kid were bought by my parents...my oldest bio child is 3, and my older stepkids love to talk about Santa to her...I think that my steps like to "believe" every now & then. Are you religious? Maybe a compromise is to tell the story of Jesus instead? In any case, I try to make this time of year as magical as possible, it's not for my kids as much as it is for me! GOOD LUCK with whatever you choose!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.K.

answers from New Orleans on

Well, I think this is up to you but I'm slightly confused about your motives... when they're little does it really matter if they know who a gift is from? I think the importance is watching their faces light up when they see the gift, not hearing them say "thank you mom and dad" I know that my name is also "Santa" so when she holds up that toy she has been wanting more than anything and says how awesome Santa is for getting it I have no problems knowing that the credit is all mine. BUT regardless of your reasons there are plenty of parents who prefer their kids not to believe in Santa...some because they feel it promotes lying, many because they feel it takes away from the religious feel of the holiday so it's not like you're the only family not participating in the tradition and you have every right to stand up to your family and tell them that it is your decision, not theirs. Keep in mind, though, that as he gets older (like kindergaten/1st grade) kids and other parents may get mad at him for ruining thier tradition if he goes to school telling other kids that Santa's not real and just like it's your choice to not include Santa it is other parents' right to do the oppisite and I know I would not be happy if my little girl came home in tears at 5 years old because someone told her that Santa's not real. Whatever your decision just remember that the purpose of Christmas (religious or not) is for family and happiness... you create your own traditions and make it your own. All the best.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.W.

answers from Fayetteville on

why in the world would you not want your son to beleive in santa ? you may not believe, but he is only a child once, i am a mother of 2 myself and my kids are growen with families of their own and let me tell you i STILL believe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its your choice, but dont ruin for the children, they will find out soon enough,enjoy the christmas spirit while they are young because you will never know what will happen from one day to the next. God Bless and Merry Christmas

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.D.

answers from Jackson on

I agree with your family's. Why would you want to take that away from your child? Are you going to tell him the easter bunny, & tooth fairy are made up too? That is a part of childhood. If you want your son to know who gave him the gifts then just take half the toys and half the clothes and mark them from Santa, the other half could be marked from you, that way he thinks there is a Santa and he knows he got presents from both, (you and Santa.) I just think telling him the truth would not do him any good. Let him be a child, and have an imagination for as long as he can.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Texarkana on

Our family compromised on the Santa issue. I held back one special gift to be from Santa for discovery on Christmas morning. The rest of the gifts were from my husband and me and were opened Christmas eve. It IS your son and you should do what you feel is right as his parents, but realize that it won't be fair to other children he will be around as he grows up for him to ruin the Santa experience for them. So, maybe teaching him that it's ok for the other kids to believe in Santa if they want would be a good idea.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.W.

answers from Hattiesburg on

I think he is YOUR son and it is YOUR life. It is YOUR choice how to raise your child. Not believing in Santa is not neglect or harmful. Perhaps by not believing in Santa your son will have a better understanding and appreciation for money and the presents he recieves. I have never considered this as an option, but my 7 year old still believes in Santa and thinks she can get anything because its free from Santa. I think you and your husband need to stand firm in your beliefs and do what YOU think is best for YOUR child! God bless you :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Texarkana on

WOW, what a touchy subject...I have never seen anyone get so many responses.
I only have to say that my family is fighting because we want to have a big Cristmas morning at one house for my kids(only grandkids that are in town Christmas morning). My brother is bringing all the gifts he is buying and putting them with mine(labeled from santa) and so is my aunts and my mom but my dad wants his stuff seperate and it is because he wants credit with my 2 and 3 year old for buying the stuff. We are all mad and dissapointed in him for being so selfish...is it about him or is it about the kids??? I don't take credit for anything I buy and neither does any of the rest of my family.
Santa doesn't last as long as he used to because there is always some brat at school that ruins years of excitement and anticipation for everyone else.

I believe that everyone has a right to raise their child their own way but be sure that you doing so doesn't take that right away from everyone else.

Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.F.

answers from Jackson on

I am a mother of 3 and a grandmother of 5 and I think every child should be able to belive in Santa . We always told our children we had to pay Santa for the toysand that he would always come as long as they believed. My youngest that got married last year still got santa on her last christmas home even though she had known for along time where her presents came from. Santa is a part of everyones childhood.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches