Night Away from Co-sleeping 16 Mo. Old

Hi M.:
Heck,We use to let our Grandson cuddle up with us at bed time. We use to see him every few weekends,and We just didn't want to stick him in another room on the other side of the house.We both would read to him,and he'd always ask one of us to rub his back,to help him fall to sleep.We cherished those times,and bonded with him.I'm sure Grandma and Grandpa will make him feel safe and loved. Be honest with her and let her know, that he is use to waking and cuddling with you,so she knows what to expect.Have a wonderful evening away,and the best to you and your darlin son. J.

Hi, I too am a mother to a 16 mo. old. and she also sleeps in my bed. Well last month my husband & I took a 2 night trip and had my parents watch her. I of course was worried but thought you know it's important for our relationship to have mommy-daddy time. To prepare her I included a toy for us to sleep with so it became part of our bed "crew". So when the time came we were gone but her buddy was still there. Also I had my mom wear one of my bed shirts I wore around so that my "scent" was there when she had to cuddle her at night. It is very important to have your parents stick to the usual nighttime routine you have set with your child. It keeps your child secure and feeling safe. Maybe even if you could, have them stay at your house so all her comforts are there. Whatever you do, do not call that night to talk to your child. Your parents for the occasional check in of course. Talking to your kid would make them realize that your not in arms reach and they'll most likely cry for you.

M.,

It is interesting to me that so many Mothers and Fathers don't mind having a baby in bed with them. I was afraid we were going to squash her! LOL!

I think the question that should be presented is:
Do you want to have your Son in bed with you?

If the answer is yes, then I think if the Grandparents stick to the normal routine and you leave him with some cuddle items that he should be just fine....my Daughter sleeps with my Mom (Pop usually ends up on the couch LOL!) every time she spends the night! You should run it by the Grandparents and see if they can handle your little one in bed with them to avoid any unwanted tantrums while you are gone.

If the answer is no, then I think you the best way to get a little one sleeping on there own is to be consistent with your choices.....I wouldn’t take him to your bed anymore at all! I would rock him and feed him until he falls asleep/unlatches and then make sure he is in a deep sleep wrapped up and comfy and put him down where ever is most convenient for you. If he wakes try to pat his back (or what ever he likes) and see if he will go back to sleep. If he doesn’t then put him back on the breast and do it all over again....it will be a project that’s for sure but well worth it, when you get to cuddle up to your husband again with out worry of a little one in the bed.

I always started our bedtime routine cool down quiet time before a nice warm bath and a relaxing massage with lavender lotion (or any baby nighttime lotion) then a story or song as I fed and rocked her.......she would fall asleep with a full tummy then down in the crib she would go.....Ahhhhhh it was so nice! Don't get me wrong we had our share of bad nights where she would wake up and want to be cuddled but I stayed consistent (eventually...LOL) and she got the hang of it.

Hope I was of some help......he will be fine, just breath!

Peace~Love~Light
V.

Hi M.,
I'm sure your boy will be fine. Sometimes we put guilt on ourselves when there is no need. My son has always slept with us also(he is almost 6 years old and still sleeps with us most of the time). When the grandparents babysit for the weekend he has always been fine (since he was a baby). He either sleeps in his bed or sometimes he'll sleep with them - they don't mind it.

Just let him know that you are going away overnight and when you'll be back and assure him that the grandparents will take care of him and have fun. Maybe leave a new toy for him for that night and let him know you'll call him and they can put him on the phone.

My son never wanted to talk to me when I was away because he was having so much fun with the grandparents.

It is good for you to be able to get away sometimes. I cried the first time I did it, and my son didn't even miss me. Both you and your son will be ok.

Good luck!

Hi M.,

I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and 6 month old girl, and we all pile in together at night too. We LOVE it - enjoy every minute of it (even the feet in the face in the middle of the night).

Could one of the grandparents possibly come over and do a nap with your son a couple of times before you go? Then they can just co sleep with him while you are gone and all will be well. Also, I would recommend making it out to be a big, wonderful, amazingly fun thing that he is going to get to sleep with Grandma, or Grandpa, or both, for the night. Talk about it a lot, and have the grandparents express excitement about it too.

Also, it might be good to have them sleep someplace other than the bed you all ususally sleep in. For example, maybe make up a Aerobed in the living room for all of them to sleep in, or in a guest bed - if they are in mommy and daddy's bed he might miss you more, but if they are in anothe bed it might be easier.

A night waking will be rough, there is no way to get around that, he will cry for you. But, he'll be with people who love him and he will go back to sleep...and if he doesn't, it will just be for one night an anyone can survive that.

Good luck and have fun on your night away!

If you are breastfeeding and co-sleeping, it is a commitment. You are a family unit now. You can try a night away, of course, but why not take your son with you, or just put off any overnighters until he is older?

It's amazing how resilient children are.
His grandparents are obviously very capable parents and will deal with any situation beautifully--I think they've been there before.
This will be a good growing experience for you, your husband, your child, and his grandparents no matter what happens.
The less you think about it, the smaller the chance your son will have a problem with it.
You're doing a great job.
Good luck and have fun in September

I co slept and nursed all three of my children until past 2. Only 1 never left my side, the other two did and NEVER had a problem. If his grandparents have kept him until late before chances are he will respond well with you not there. They seem to do great when mom and dad are not around. At 16 months he should be fine. You could however bring your parents on the trip that way you still ge time but if he isn't well you are next door. I will warn you though this is not a true test of how he will respond when you are truly away.

I co-slept and extended nursed with both of mine so I do understand your situation. Your son will be a few months older so it may be a little easier in Sept. then right now, but either way, he'll most likely do fine at this age. It's a lot harder for him to fall asleep w/out nursing with you around then it will be to fall asleep when you aren't nearby -hopefully that made sense (-: Both of my kids fell asleep very easily in the Ergo - if your son does, maybe Grandma or Grandpa can wear him to sleep? If that is too much, then why not just let them drive or walk him to sleep like they have in the past? If they live nearby, they could practice another way, but I'd say, whatever works for them even if it isn't ideal, just let them do it. I know if I didn't want to nurse my daugther to sleep (this is when I was pregnant and it hurt to nurse) my husband had to drive her to get her to sleep. Thank God, that isn't the case now with gas prices so high! LOL OK, I've not been much help - I think he'll be fine with Grandma and Grandpa since they have watched him before. Have fun on your night out!!
M.