Nieces That Aren't Really Nieces

My best friend of 17 years has 4 children and they all call me "Aunt." I never really thought about calling them nieces and nephews but when you are introducing them to others it just sounded too long to say "This is my best friend of 17 years' daughter and we are so close she calls me 'aunt'...." It's easier to say "This is my niece.." Maybe it happened like that? For me no one could replace my flesh and blood niece (although she doesn't come running up to me and jumping in my arms like my friend's children do which I hope will change as she gets older) This is an interesting enough question that I'm prompted to want to ask MY SIL how SHE feels about it!! (though I think she's okay with it because I've known them so much longer.)

My cousin's ex- in-laws are counted among our best friends. My kids call them "Aunt Kathy" and "Uncle Steve." Granted, these people are not blood related to us, but they hold a very special place in our hearts. Do Kathy and Steve replace the aunt and uncles who are blood related to my kids? No, of course not. Nobody replaces anybody else in our hearts, do they? Like we are always telling our kids, loving somebody just makes MORE room in our hearts, not less. Much like having a second child doesn't make your first child any less special to you. Likewise, having 2 or 3 (or 10) aunts doesn't make Aunt #1 any less special! Would you be mad if your husband had 10 sisters and they all had nieces from their husbands' sides of the family? Of course not! Don't let this bother you. Your daughter is still special to her aunt.

I have 5 SIL and to be honest with you I couldn't care less about, what they call their friends kids.....I have learned, life is to short, to worry about this sort of stuff.
Either your daughter is special or not to extended family, you can't force these things...
I make my kids feel good about themself, that is all that matters....
It's just a title.......

I don't think your sister is doing this to hurt you. We call my husband's best friend "Uncle Wes", but his kids aren't my nieces. I don't think it's weird or anything and like I said, she's probably not thinking anything about it. I doesn't take away from your daughter's special place in her heart. My kids know that Uncle Wes isn't really their uncle, it's just a name.

I have 2 "nieces" and four nephews that are in no way related to me. All of these kids are or going to be adopted. However even if they were natural children they would still be my nieces and nephews. It is not you SIL responsibility to make YOUR daughter feel special. That is up to you. You can tell your daughter that it is very nice of her to share her aunt with other kids. Just because she gave the title out doesn't mean she doesn't love your daughter any less.

I would offer that having other nieces doesn't take ANYTHING away from the relationship she has with your daughter. Regardless of what she calls these other little girls, she is in their lives in whatever way she is in their lives. It has nothing to do with using that name "for everyone else." If she was spending all her time with these girls, spoiling them, bonding with them and ignoring your daughter THEN you would have reason to feel like she'd been replaced even if she was calling the other little girls shoe-dirt.

Focus on building a special relationship with your sister and between your sister and your daughter. You guys are family. And if you find blood relationships more important than close friendships, make them that way and don't worry about the other little girls.

HTH
T.

I think you need to let it go. Your sister has a special place for your daughter and a name is just a name.

My BFF is called Auntie by my children, that in no way makes my sister any less there aunt. I think you are being a little unfair to say that her closeness to these other "nieces" somehow makes your daughter less special to her, all it says is she has a lot of love to give.

I'm closer to some of my friend's children than I am some of the children in the family. Maybe this is the case? Just the way the dice roll sometimes...

My parents are divorced and both are remarried. With that I went from an only child to having a step brother and step sister on both sides! Each step sis has had a couple of kids and I don't really call either of the 3 little girls my nieces. But my one step sis refers to my as Aunt to her kids. Now I do have a real niece through my BIL.

Now here is another take on this......we are a military family and we live 900+ miles from our family right now. My good friends that I've met along the way are my 'family' in a sense. I would consider some of the ladies my sister before I would my own step sisters.

My point is, family is what you make it, be it a childhood friend you've gown up with to a neighbor that you feel that sisterly connection too.

S.

So you & her both call friends "sisters", but you are upset that she calls their dghtrs "niece". Maybe I am reading to much into this but when would someone refer to their friends as "sisters" & their kids as "niece"? I think if you guys are referring to them as "sister & niece" then this would take place around people you already know & who already knows the truth. If this is the case then I don't understand why this would upset you. And if this was happening around strangers then who cares.

I have very special friends that I have known for a very long time some 15 yrs & some 25 yrs. I don't call any of them "sisters" but they have their children call me Auntie & my kids call them Auntie sometimes too. I personally think it's "different" to refer to them as sisters but not when the kids call them Auntie, I think society set the stage on that one & it's more acceptable.

Well anyway it sounds like the Aunt loves her title & has lots of love to go around for blood related & friend related so I wouldn't put to much energy on this, it probably bothers you more than it bothers your dghtr. I guess my other question is do you have any sisters? If yes, do they get upset that you call your friends "sisters" too?

My friend has a pile of "cousins" and she knows which ones are real and which are very close friends. She is my "sister" and my children call her "Masi", which is what Indians call their mom's sisters. It is not important. What is important is that she is loved and that your SIL has room to love more "nieces".

Hi. It seems to me this is a common practice in the South. We have several good friends that our children address as Uncle ... or Aunt... They aren't related but we didn't like our children calling them by their first names but we felt like calling them Mr. or Mrs. and their last name was too formal so we opted for Uncle. I think it makes our friends feel special and they like it. Our kids know who their real aunt and uncles are.

My sister calls her daughter Nikki, my Daughters cousin...........Nikki is a cat....Top THAT one B.....
Perhaps PEOPLE arent that bad...I know cats are.....

M:)

I have close friends whose children call me "Auntie Val", but when I refer to them, especially in conversation with other people, I don't refer to them as my nieces or nephews. That's probably taking it a little far, but to each his own I guess. If it bothers you that much, I would try to talk to your SIL about it (or have hubby do it if you don't have a close relationship with her). I'm not sure how old your daughter is, but I would bet she doesn't know the difference. And what if your daughter did have lots of cousins and she wasn't the only niece? Then, she would have to share the title, so I guess I don't really understand why it's such an issue. But, since it is bothersome to you, then the only way to resolve it is to have a conversation about it and let her know that it hurts your feelings and why. Best of luck to you!

Let it go. It is non of your business what your SIL calls anyone.