New to Being a SAHM

Updated on August 15, 2011
J.P. asks from Pensacola, FL
20 answers

Hey Mamas,

I have a 7 month old DD Bethany Erin. I was working, but I couldn't afford day care anymore. So now I'm a sahm. My husbands car is in the shop, and we have to wait awhile before we can get it fixed. So I'm stuck at home all day everyday with no car. I guess my question is for mamas with infants. How do you keep from being lonely and bored? I feel like I'm getting depressed being in the house with only the baby all the time. I don't have any energy to do anything. How do you ladies get the energy and excitement to clean and take care of everyone? Hope everyone is having an awesome day!

J. and baby Bethany

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

Been there done that.

Honestly, taking a long, hot shower is a GREAT attitude adjuster. It's a start. The other mom's had great ideas and THIS site has done WONDERS for me. It makes me feel less lonely and I see other mom's going thru a LOT of the same things. Misery loves company...JUST KIDDING!

Good luck, soon this will be a distant memory.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

use the stroller & walk. Learn to appreciate what's around you & you'll feel better. Life's much easier when you're smiling at someone...

3 moms found this helpful

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I made a list of my "do or die" chores. The things that HAVE to happen or our house grinds to a gross, smelly halt. I kept the list as short as possible and when I've at least worked on everything on it, even if I don't finish everything, I get to stop.

I used to get so overwhelmed trying to play, and discipline, and feed, and clean, and, oh I guess I need to eat too???, that I'd just shut down. I'd spend the whole day half zoned out on the floor with the baby not able to motivate myself. Once I set it down on paper I felt like I accomplished something everyday and then I was able to really enjoy all the new things my baby is learning.

Also, some days it just sucks. Only another SAHParent can ever understand the particular brand of loneliness that comes from only have a baby to talk to. I called my DH at lunch one day absolutely bawling because I didn't have anyone to laugh at my jokes...

But remind yourself, if you can, that you're so blessed to have the opportunity to experience every gurgle and smile and spit up and poopie, too. Sometimes it's rotten but sometimes, like today, which was the first time my little baby crawled all the way across the room just to be near me, it's like heaven on earth and I really wouldn't trade it for the world. Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

Get up and dressed every day- shower, real clothes and a little makeup. Sounds strange, but if you look better you may feel better!

Go for a walk- go early if it's too hot. Walk to a park and mingle with other moms.

Take a book outside and read. Put the baby on a blanket and let her play with her toys in a different setting.

If you like to cook, then make a few things from scratch and get them in the freezer! That way when you have your wheel back, you have a few dinners ready.

Just a thought... you could advertise to do before/after school care in your neighborhood. It would bring in some extra cash and you wouldn't have to do much to make it happen!

3 moms found this helpful
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N.L.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read all your responses but it sure sounds like you got alot of good advice. I am not a SAHM and never have been but the first thing that came to mind when reading your question was to incorporate exercising into your day. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It will increase your energy and dramitcally improve your mood. Plus you will lose weight(if that is even an issue for u) and that will make you feel alot better about yourself. I know there are days when I say I wish I could stay home so I would have more time to put together photo albums or get my bills/finance more organized. Like one mom suggested, try getting more creative w/cooking. Allrecipes.com is really great site. One last suggestion is to get involved in couponing. If your staying home cuz you can't afford daycare, then I bet your could definately benefit from being one of those extreme coupon ladies I see on TV. I know this lady on Facebook and she shows all the time how she gets like $1000 worth of groceries for less than $200. It's amazing. She is so good at it that she sells these coupon organizers and she'll have meetings periodically where she'll teach anyone who wants to know how she does it. I never feel like I have enuf time to devote to it but wish I did. Especially since groceries are SOOOO expensive. Message me if you'd like me to get u in touch with her.

2 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

It's all about putting one step before the other. The other morning I woke up and started my morning puttering. I will walk around picking shoes, blankets, dishes, and things people left out the night before. I'm always tired in the morning and totally not enthused. My mother asked me if I was going to do something. I don't remember what it was. But I remember what I said. I said, NO, I don't want to, but I will. I had asked her to remind me...I think it was starting the laundry. anyway, once I started I realized once again that I started to feel better.

Sometimes I tell myself that I can have 10 minutes on Mamapedia or facebook if I do this or that. While I'm doing that something else will need done and before I know it I've worked an hour or so straight. I'll spend a little time online or read a few pages in a book and then I'm off and running again.

No matter what it is, like reading a book to your daughter or putting the laundry through or cleaning out a messy closet... You can only do it one step at a time. The more you do, the more you want to do. Take pride in a job well done and tell yourself that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Go for a walk, take a nap or shower, eat something yummy and healthy, and call a friend to come over.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

I stay at home with my 15 month old. I have only done this starting about 2 months ago when I was laid off from my full time job. So, I struggled much the same as you did, it's an adjustment!

We go for lots of walks, do you have a stroller? You can even make stops and at her age, she will love just to look around, sit in the grass in a new area, etc.

Do you have any pets? My son LOVES to play with our dog and honestly he keeps us entertained a lot. We'll play "tug," chase, etc.

I spent a lot of time online looking for fun and inexpensive things to do at home with a little one. There's great ideas out there if you can spend a nap time doing some research. Little activities such as "finger painting" with pudding or "painting" the sidewalk with water and a paintbrush. I try to do one new activity with him a day - even if its just a new song or something.

Many moms may disagree, but we watch a decent amount of time watching some of the great educational TV shows on our TV. He loves Sesame Street and we dance to the wiggles. He loves this!

If your wanting to get out of the house, but you have no transportation, you're going to have to get creative! Do you know any other moms or have family nearby that could go with you once a week out into the community to do something with your baby? When we go out of house outings, we go to the library for story hour, park to play, running errands (which is not easy but helps our evenings and weekends be more for family time!), splash pad at the local pool, playdates with some other moms I know, etc. If you have no one to help get you to these places, what about public transporation - a bus?

I reccommend finding a play group or another stay at home mom to interact with. This is really for your sanity mostly :) Also, I have to remember that what I find boring and monotonous, is actually a good thing for my little guy. Small children THRIVE on routine and it makes them feel safe, secure and happy. Try to get your self on some sort of routine. Ours has become every morning we walk up the street to the park after breakfast and he plays for a a bit. Not everything in our day is on a schedule of course, but some things are nice. He always watches Sesame Street while eating lunch for example.

Also, you asked about energy and excitement - that's another story! It's hard. I'm a very organized person and having just left the work force where every moment of my day is pretty scheduled. I found this to be helpful now staying at home - for example, Friday's, I clean (when my son is sleeping or self-occupying of course!). Wednesdays, I NAP during H's nap time. Tuesdays I run errands, Monday's groceries, Thursdays are a fun adventure with my son - library, zoo, etc.

I've always loved to cook, but never had time when I worked. Now, I try a few new recipes each week and I love having a good, home cooked meal every night!

Good luck, it's a crazy fun thing! Especially when you are not used to staying at home and making the adjustment. I've learned more about my son in the last 2 months than ever before. There is NOTHING WRONG with working full time and having your child in daycare, but there sure is something special about spending full time days with him! Make sure to take care of yourself and when your hubby is home, make sure you insist on some me time!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Read "Radical Homemakers". You might find it interesting.

As a Radical Homemaker, I have a lot of challenges, but boredom isn't one of them! Social isolation used to be more of a problem, but I'm getting a lot more contact with other adults these days.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I am a Work AHM and I love it. It gives me interaction with adults and allows me to be there for my children when they need me. I have been doing this for almost 4 years now. I have to echo the commment made by Nikki about working out. Exercise releases endorphins which help to improve your mood, give you energy, and lose weight (if that is a goal). You would also be setting a great example for your daughter as she grows up. I am an online Fitness Coach and I love that I get paid to workout. If you have a passion about being the best person you can be and helping others be the best person they can be then Team Beachbody might be a good fit for your life as well. If nothing else we have great workout DVD's that you can do in your home like P90X, Insanity, TurboFire, Slim in 6 and the list goes on. I can send you an short overview video to watch about Team Beachbody if you would like to hear more.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

girl, sounds like my house sort of!!! We have a 2 1/2 year old, i went back to work when he was 6 weeks old. Then I got pregnant again right after he turned 1. I worked up until i was 30 weeks along with the twins. They are 8 months old now and I have been a SAHM since then. we only have one vechicle and my hubby takes it to work. he works from 3:30pm until midnight. and 3 nights a week he works overnights. so he is tired a lot and sleeps a lot. he still helps out when he is awake but I hate to wake him when I know how tired he is.....anywhoo...I go insane sometimes with being in the house all day. we dont live in walking distance to a park or anything and we dont have a lot of sidewalks so when I can take them all out for a walk it isnt a very long one. plus with this heatwave i havent had them out in forever. It is very hard to find the motivation to get things done. I thought it would be soooooooo easy, but it is not for me. I have days where I have the motivation and I get a lot of stuff done, then i'll have a few days where i dont get anything done. I also have issues with mood swings though, and if I take my medicine every day it helps to keep me happy but sometimes i just get so busy i'll forget for a few days. If the boys are happy in the morning, then I can get at least the kitchen clean and start on some laundry. i try to just do a little here and there. i know how you feel!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.G.

answers from Dallas on

Time passes so fast and before you know it your baby will be off on his or her own. I do not regret not one minute that I stayed home with my girls who are 30 and 28 now. They tell me all the time how that they were glad I was home with them to do all the things that SAHM moms do. Little things like baking homemade cookies that they shared with their friends or attending all of the school functions are the things they remember most. We did not have a lot and vacations were few but that was not as important to them as them knowing I was always available for them. A good brisk walk with your baby in a stroller is a good way to start the morning and get your energy back. You don't have to clean the whole house every day pick a room a day to clean. What is most important now is the time you and your baby spend together watching the miracle of how he grows into a young adult. Rember what you are doing now is the most important job you will ever have. The time and energy you put into raising your children will have its own rewards.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Try going to www.meetup.org to find Mommy groups in the area that you live. It is a lifesaver to find other moms that are in the same life stage with you. Also, it helps to have children that are close in age. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Tyler on

I understand how you are feeling. I had 3 babies in 3 years and no car! We didn't even buy a 2nd car until my last one was two yrs old! I actually did my grocery shopping late at night! Exercise is essential. As hard as it may be--and was for me--moving and getting the oxygen in the blood stream to the brain is absolutely necessary. Then you'll have more energy, and a more positive mind. Do you know your neighbors? Are any of them SAHMs? When you can, go to Hobby Lobby and find some sort of craft or project to work on while baby is asleep or playing. I learned to sew, and I made my girls clothes while they were little. I learned to crochet. But whatever interests you---making jewelry, painting, there are lots of things to do. I'm also an avid reader and always had a book to read. When you do have transportation, find a church with a Mother's Day Out program and use it! It's usually not expensive. Give yourself the treat of time to browse a store or joining a group learning a craft. It's a huge adjustment going from the hustle of working full time to mothering full time.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I've been a stay at home mom now for almost 5 years. At first it was all overwhelming as I was in the military working full time and my oldest son went to a sitter. When I got remarried I didn't want to leave my family all the time and have someone else raising my children. I'm proud to save that I've served my country and now I'm raising my family. I now have a 9 yr old, 4 yr old and a 2 yr old. It is hard sometimes with the age difference to keep the occupied, but my 2 yr old is always under me. She is so full of herself. It is hard at first being home and not having another adult to talk to or sit down and eat with when you're at home. I started doing things I liked and that made it easier for me to focus on my kids. I was burnt out by cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, trying to find things that would make them happy, but really they're not happy if we aren't. They can sense it. I started taking online surveys, posting things on craigslist or the yahoo groups to make a little extra money. Then, I started searching for businesses and jobs to work at home. It took me a while and three different businesses until I found the current one that I'm working from home and loving it. I get to help others while I'm helping myself get healthy and using more natural products. I tried selling things but I wasn't good at that.

Each person will be different, so you'll have to find what makes you happy.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.N.

answers from Milwaukee on

sounds like you MAY have a case of postpartum depression... medication will help. it really will, is there a bus where you live? take the bus to sea world! get a season pass! give yourself something.. just for you.. to look foreward to every day and when you're laying in bed not wanting to get up or when you are sitting on the couch watching tv during nap time, you can be getting ready to do that one thing that you wanted for yourself and don't let it be food ... that's a whole nother problem you don't want to get into... i am in the same boat dear, except i have two, one 7 year old and one stb 7 month... just keep swimming just keep swimming chica.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

My advice is enjoy your baby. Take her out in the stroller for a walk every day. Talk to her about everything you see. I know it's extrememely hot here in Texas but walking at the mall is good exercise for you and fun for her. Biggest advice: find a moms' club or a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group and get involved. It saved my sanity. From my moms' club I got into a play group when my daughter was a little older and it was great for the kids and the moms.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Take a walk. Even if it's 10 minutes around the block. Take a shower (put baby in the carrier or something in the bathroom with you), put on clean clothes and brush your hair and get.out.of.the.house.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.G.

answers from Dallas on

I would go for walks as often as possible. Right now you would have to get up pretty early. If there is a park near you, pack a blanket and play outside for a little while with the baby. Maybe you will make some friends that you could invite over for playtime (for you and your baby). Also, I like having something to look forward to. I will plan a very casual get together at my house. Then I know that I have to get all my stuff done to enjoy my time with friends. Hope this helps.

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